We all ve our individual health challenges, both internal and external problems, majority of these problems we are completely aware of, but we never get to muster the courage to tell our partners even when we know we are so close to getting married.

I was speaking to a very lovely lady in church yesterday, whom i admire so much but completely hid my feelings from her and she revail her health problems to me. this she would never do if she knew my feelings for her, although she did it b/c i am a medical personnel and i ve already started proffering a Persia to her condition.

I work in an operating theatre where we see serious fertility cases rising from SALPINGECTOMY (removal of the fallopian tubes which may be single or bilateral in rare cases), ovarian cystectomy, etc being carried out on single ladies in their early 20s. 90% of this cases are purely hormonal disorder related as there are not caused by this innocent girls. But they are capable of causing delay but not total denial in conception which the average black man and his family will fail to understand.

The male folk is not left out of this problems as we vie seen young men with low sperm count, watery sperm, testicular absence, hormonal in-balance etc.

This problems are not reproductive related alone but general deceases affecting our bodies.

My question is do we go into serious relationships like marriage or even dating without telling our spouse our challenging health problems.? If you get married to some body before realising one of this problems what will your reaction be.

Yeah. It would be stupid not to.

i have always said it

if you truly care about your mate ,  NO HOLDING BACK! tell it all, if he/she truely loves yah, they will stay and try to work it out

if they don't , then they go! its better than losings his/her love and respect at a later date when they find out themselves!

or some nasty condition or situation crops up!

Yes, and then make sure that she is the beneficiary of your life insurance policy.

@ Topic,

I think its only right to do so, . . . . . .

I agree with ika6. If the love is there, no health problem can stand in its way. It's best to tell someone you are about to get married to about health problems, contagious or not.

as long as its not HIV

Should I Relate My Health Problems To Her Beffore The Wedding?

Of course. As soon as whoever asks the other out, you tell the person of your predicament. If he/she can take it good for him/her. If they can't, bye bye.

stillwater:

Of course. As soon as whoever asks the other out, you tell the person of your predicament. If he/she can take it good for him/her. If they can't, bye bye.

So easy to for u to say this. . . . . .
I say it depends on the kind of ailment. . . .Women are more likey to hide this kinda information. . . .
They are the ones who pressure men into marriage the most.
A wombless woman would zip up her mouth and say nowt.

chamotex:

as long as its not HIV

ehn! So what will happen then? You'll allow the poor innocent better half to acquire HIV? That's so mean!
Chamo, if your fiancee doesn't tell you that she has such a disease,what do you want her to do, pass it to you?

~Sauron~:

So easy to for u to say this. . . . . .
I say it depends on the kind of ailment. . . .Women are more likey to hide this kind of information. . . .
They are the ones who pressure men into marriage the most.
A wombless woman would zip up her mouth and say nowt.

Yes it's easy for me to say it. I think of the consequences of my actions before going ahead to them. I'd rather be single than lived a married life of lies.

j-girl:

ehn! So what will happen then? You'll allow the poor innocent better half to acquire HIV? That's so mean!
Chamo, if your fiancee doesn't tell you that she has such a disease,what do you want her to do, pass it to you?

LMAO

Nah I was actually referring to this statement by Ikamefa

if you truly care about your mate , NO HOLDING BACK! tell it all, if he/she truely loves yah, they will stay and try to work it out

I'm saying they can work things out as long as it's not HIV o.

chamotex:

LMAO

Nah I was actually referring to this statement by Ikamefa

I'm saying they can work things out as long as it's not HIV o. 

Oh okay. . . I for fear.
I had already started to find numbers for counselors you could talk to.
I think HIV could still be worked out. They just won't have sex as much and they'll have to be extra-careful

j-girl:

Oh okay. . . I for fear.
I had already started to find numbers for counselors you could talk to.

ahn ahn, i'm not that bad now . . . . . im not shallow

I think HIV could still be worked out. They just won't have sex as much and they'll have to be extra-careful

ehn HIV, i no do o. I dont like to be extra-careful . . . . . . . i go all in for the strike

chamotex:

ahn ahn, i'm not that bad now . . . . . I'm not shallow

ehn HIV, i no do o. I don't like to be extra-careful . . . . . . . i go all in for the strike

Really? Why do I have a very difficult time believing that

As for HIV, what if you've fallen in love with the girl so much that you didn't think you could live without.
What then?
It's not as easy. The topic has to do with someone that's about to marry someone else. They are not just dating.
They have realized they are in love with each other.

j-girl:

Really? Why do I have a very difficult time believing that

As for HIV, what if you've fallen in love with the girl so much that you didn't think you could live without.
What then?
It's not as easy. The topic has to do with someone that's about to marry someone else. They are not just dating.
They have realized they are in love with each other.

Now the chances of that happening is very slim!

You wouldn't want to marry someone who is HIV positive, would you?

People that had their marriages cancelled one way or the other before their wedding were also in love aswel.

chamotex:

Now the chances of that happening is very slim!

You wouldn't want to marry someone who is HIV positive, would you?

People that had their marriages cancelled one way or the other before their wedding were also in love aswel.

Who told you that can't happen to you?

If I love the guy soooooo much and he tells me he has HIV, i'll be mad as heck. I would go crazy but if I love him enough, we would never get married cos I wanna have biological kids so yeah, I would totally understand but I will be by his side anytime he needs me, that's for sure.

I think people should learn how to tell the trust cuz I sincerely believe that "nothing is hidden under is sun", the earlier (b4 marriage) it surfaced, the better for both parties. If the health problem is nature and not nurture or even if its both, da other person should decide wat 2 do b4 "I DO", as for me, I tell oooooooooooo though I have no help problems sha

I think it's hard to talk about sensitive personal health problems with a partner because of the fear of rejection but it's necessary, because better they reject you before marriage, than afterwards, if rejection is going to occur. Honesty is the best policy and it will come out one day anyway so it's better to just get it over with.

chamotex:

Now the chances of that happening is very slim!

You wouldn't want to marry someone who is HIV positive, would you?

People that had their marriages cancelled one way or the other before their wedding were also in love aswel.

Promoting stigma, eh? I think of course it's no one's dream to be HIV+ or to marry someone who is, but there are amazing people who do because of love and history and other reasons that are not easily understandable, and there is life with HIV; it doesn't have to be a death sentence. No but it's true, there needs to be full disclosure. You can't take the decision out of your partner's hands.

I'm saying they can work things out as long as it's not HIV o.

MY fellow naira landers, pls permit me to tell u  that HIV aids is no longer the death warant it use to be. Someone who ve aids and is on anti retrovirus and good diet can live hail and Hatty for the rest of his/her life. Aids is like every other deceases. Malaria alone kills ten times more than aids annually. I'm sure many of u can marry a woman/man with cancer, the survival rate of advance cancer is 0 to 5 years. i am not stigmatising here i am only trying to tell u that some conditions are worse than AIDS. Diabetes has no known cure but can only be control, same thing with hypertension which is carpable of terminating life at a very little emotional problem or physical excision. SO WHY THE STIGMA FOR HIV AIDS.
The most intresting thing is that people with AIDS can give birth to kids withot aids through caecerian session and artificial feeding so what is our problem.?
MICHEAL JORDAN was HIV POSITIVE but as it is anti retroviral ve driven away the virus from his blood stream and traces of it can only be found in his bone marrows. I am sure a lot of lades will love to ve him.

What about we health care providers? a lot of time u just cannot avoid niddle stick injury no matter how careful u are. would u kill your self ? no. u will go ahead helping people out of their predicament. It is worse with those of us working in the surgical department.
STOP THE STIGMA NON  OF US IS GOING TO LIVE FOR EVER.

@ Topic

I personally, would feel very very bad. reasons later brb

Poster, of course!

yes i think you should tell ur partner about ur health status or condition,so he knows what he is getting into before marriage.women with only one tube can still get pregnant normally like someone with 2 tubes, even when the both tubes are removed she can still get pregnant via IVF.