Am married with two female kids. Was suprised to find out that my wife uses Postinor 2 without my consent.
I feel betrayed. Am just thinking of giving her 3yrs break.

My Question is 'Is it right for a married woman to use any form of contraceptive without the consent of the husband.

[quote
author=mygeeZ post=27606190]Am married with two female kids. Was
suprised to find out that my wife uses Postinor 2 without my consent.
I feel betrayed. Am just thinking of giving her 3yrs break. [/quote]



Is it now more than 3years?
It is wrong to take such a decision alone.
This just got me thinking,you might want to take the two children for a test
One thing leads to another.

This is serious

mygeeZ:
My Question is 'Is it right for a married woman to use any form of contraceptive without the consent of the husband.

NO in very serious CAPITAL letters!

Oga, you need to talk to your wife. Communication is very vital between you two. She might not know the implications of that action.
One more thing, this is not the time to "form" chairman.
This is the time to "talk"

mygeeZ:
My Question is 'Is it right for a married woman to use any form of contraceptive without the consent of the husband.

No,it ain't right.

Even though it is her body,but as a couple you need to discuss things like that.

Communication people.....

mygeeZ:
Am married with two female kids. Was suprised to find out that my wife uses Postinor 2 without my consent.
I feel betrayed. Am just thinking of giving her 3yrs break.

Do you talk to her? Do you listen to her? Does she want more kids? Did she have traumatic births? Are you anti birth control?

Oga op, do you think it is time you guys should have another baby? If so, have you discussed this with wifey? Does she want another kid now?

yousee:

NO in very serious CAPITAL letters!
Oga, you need to talk to your wife. Communication is very vital between you two. She might not know the implications of that action.
One more thing, this is not the time to "form" chairman.
This is the time to "talk"

Lol at form chairman.

Why is she using the postinor2? Do you have any kids? Em...are u sure the postinor2 is being used for your sake and not someone else's?


Anyway, communication is the key.

You're obviously not communicating with your wife.As a man with two female kids,e be like say you wan quick score boy?
Your wife obviously doesn't want a pregnancy now.How old is your last child?You guys should talk.

Irrespective of divergent views, Such sensitive and critical topics are meant to be shared and decisions taken together, using contraceptives without the knowledge of your married partner is deceit and selfish especially if such has never been discussed.
I sense her fears stems from your position about getting more kids but going ahead with contraceptives without consulting you or at the most informing you is disrespectful, what if severe health complications arise from taking the said contraceptive? would that be fair to you and the kids?
I cant speak for how you guys handle your marital issue because that should be personal between you and your partner but certain things sound wierd and unacceptable and this us one of them..

Maybe you don't use condom,and she devised a means to use a contraceptive,cos telling you might hurt you.

How am i suppose to use condom with my wife? Weird. My last child is close to 2yrs now.

Honestly i feel betrayed.. I am praying and asking God to give me grace to continue in this bondage of a marriage.
All the same marriage found on deceit cant stand the test of time.. Could divorce be an option now?

Roland17:
Irrespective of divergent views, Such sensitive and critical topics are meant to be shared and decisions taken together, using contraceptives without the knowledge of your married partner is deceit and selfish especially if such has never been discussed.
I sense her fears stems from your position about getting more kids but going ahead with contraceptives without consulting you or at the most informing you is disrespectful, what if severe health complications arise from taking the said contraceptive? would that be fair to you and the kids?
I cant speak for how you guys handle your marital issue because that should be personal between you and your partner but certain things sound wierd and unacceptable and this us one of them..

Our last child is close to 2yrs now. So many things on my head. Maybe i shud opt for a DNA test for our two female children first just to be sure.

thorpido:
You're obviously not communicating with your wife.As a man with two female kids,e be like say you wan quick score boy?
Your wife obviously doesn't want a pregnancy now.How old is your last child?You guys should talk.

Do you think waiting for close to 2yrs before before 'Scoring' is not ideal.

thorpido:
You're obviously not communicating with your wife.As a man with two female kids,e be like say you wan quick score boy?
Your wife obviously doesn't want a pregnancy now.How old is your last child?You guys should talk.

You should just calm down first, Listen to her plight before taking any drastic action.

haba! no offense, i think you are getting paranoid if you are thinking of divorce because your wife is using birth control. But i completely understand your feeling of betrayal. As a wife myself, NO it is not right to hide such an important thing from your spouse. I suspect she did it because she doesnt want any more children. And i suspect you have been green lighting that you want to try again. so to avoid hurt feelings, she started using it secretly. Unfortunately, you have found out and now your feelings are hurt even more.

You need to talk to her, as gently as you can because im sure she is already scared. And scared women do scary things. Put her at ease that if she doesnt want kids just yet, you can wait until she is ready. My husband did that before we had our first child and it really built my trust for him. He even confronted both of our parents and told them we would have kids when we are ready.

Please, dont be offended about it. It was an ignorant thing she did, probably to protect your feelings. If you open up to her, you will show that she can trust you and she will have no need to hide such things in the future.

She doesnt even know i have seen the pills. am just thinking of a better way to confront her. [quote
author=mujiboy post=27615006]You should just calm down first, Listen to
her plight before taking any drastic action.[/quote]

mygeeZ:
Am married with two female kids. Was suprised to find out that my wife uses Postinor 2 without my consent.
I feel betrayed. Am just thinking of giving her 3yrs break.

Why should you feel betrayed? Over what?

It's her body, not yours. Besides, you won't be the one left holding the baby, making sacrifices and keeping a big chunk of your life on hold - she will.

mygeeZ:
Honestly i feel betrayed.. I am praying and asking God to give me grace to continue in this bondage of a marriage.
All the same marriage found on deceit cant stand the test of time.. Could divorce be an option now?

Ooohhh! So that's the real issue.

Looks like @OP has found himself someone else and is looking for an excuse to divorce his wife.

Well, maybe wifey has smelled a rat somewhere and is simply preparing for the inevitable. Good on her not to want to take in again, knowing her marriage is on shaky grounds!

mygeeZ:
Do you think waiting for close to 2yrs before before 'Scoring' is not ideal.

Two years is enough spacing if you want more kids.However,your comments show there's a deeper issue btw you two.

mygeeZ:
Honestly i feel betrayed.. I am praying and asking God to give me grace to continue in this bondage of a marriage.
All the same marriage found on deceit cant stand the test of time.. Could divorce be an option now?

I asked some vital questions you didnt answer. Have you even spoken to her? Have you listened to her fears on why she is trying to stop more kids for now?

This seems like an unhealthy marriage, why refer to your marriage as bondage? Are there other issues? Do you speak with her? Or do you just say and she must obey no questions asked, no concerns raised?

mygeeZ:
How am i suppose to use condom with my wife? Weird. My last child is close to 2yrs now.

how were her other 2 pregnancies right from conception to delivery? And how supportive were you?

aisha2:


I asked some vital questions you didnt answer. Have you even spoken to her? Have you listened to her fears on why she is trying to stop more kids for now?

This seems like an unhealthy marriage, why refer to your marriage as bondage? Are there other issues? Do you speak with her? Or do you just say and she must obey no questions asked, no concerns raised?

Aisha, forget that one sef.

Just take a look at his posts (assuming they're real. I'm always skeptical about these sort of threads). The guy is obviously a domineering freak who feels comfortable using phrases like:

~ My consent (like seriously? She needs his permission in deciding what's best for her body?)

~ I feel betrayed

~ I'm thinking of giving her a 3 year break. (Shuo! thinking? Not sure? No discussion? Equates to no serious family planning IMHO)

Then just check this out:

mygeeZ:
Honestly i feel betrayed.. I am praying and asking God to give me grace to continue in this bondage of a marriage.
All the same marriage found on deceit cant stand the test of time.. Could divorce be an option now?

mygeeZ:
Our last child is close to 2yrs now. So many things on my head. Maybe i shud opt for a DNA test for our two female children first just to be sure.

The heck! What is this? ^^

The dude's all over the place. So much I think he's having us on. He feels betrayed, suspects the kids aren't his, and yet wants to "score" a child with her?

And we call this a married "man"? Abeg make we hear word jor.

Mtcheew!

mygeeZ:
She doesnt even know i have seen the pills. am just thinking of a better way to confront her.

oh, I can relate..then just wait for the perfect time to ask her..maybe during the night when everything is calm. I don't think this issue is enough for things to get out of hand in your marriage.

EfemenaXY:

Aisha, forget that one sef.
Just take a look at his posts (assuming they're real sef. I'm always skeptical about these sort of threads). The guy is obviously a domineering freak who feels comfortable using phrases like:
~ My consent (like seriously? She needs his permission in deciding what's best for her body?
~ I feel betrayed
~ I'm thinking of giving her a 3 year break. (Shuo! thinking? Not sure? No discussion? Equates to no serious family planning IMHO)
Then just check this out:
The heck! What is this? ^^
The dude's all over the place. So much I think he's having us on. He feels betrayed, suspects the kids aren't his, and yet wants to "score" a child with her?
And we call this a married "man"? Abeg make we hear word jor.
Mtcheew!

Thats why I asked those questions, I wanted to be clear what the real issue is

what if the pills wasnt used for me? have you taught of that?

EfemenaXY
post=27616442:


Aisha, forget that one sef.

Just take a look at his posts (assuming they're real sef. I'm always
skeptical about these sort of threads). The guy is obviously a
domineering freak who feels comfortable using phrases like:

~ My consent (like seriously? She needs his permission in
deciding what's best for her body?)

~ I feel betrayed

~ I'm thinking of giving her a 3 year break. (Shuo! thinking? Not
sure? No discussion? Equates to no serious family planning IMHO)

Then just check this out:





The heck! What is this? ^^

The dude's all over the place. So much I think he's having us on. He
feels betrayed, suspects the kids aren't his, and yet wants to "score" a
child with her?

And we call this a married "man"? Abeg make we hear word jor.

Mtcheew!

mygeeZ:
what if the pills wasnt used for me? have you taught of that?

What makes you think they aren't for you?

Or are you indirectly saying every married woman on the pill is cheating on her husband? You think usage of contraceptive pills is a yardstick for measuring infidelity?

EfemenaXY:


Aisha, forget that one sef.

Just take a look at his posts (assuming they're real sef. I'm always skeptical about these sort of threads). The guy is obviously a domineering freak who feels comfortable using phrases like:

~ My consent (like seriously? She needs his permission in deciding what's best for her body?)

~ I feel betrayed

~ I'm thinking of giving her a 3 year break. (Shuo! thinking? Not sure? No discussion? Equates to no serious family planning IMHO)

Then just check this out:





The heck! What is this? ^^

The dude's all over the place. So much I think he's having us on. He feels betrayed, suspects the kids aren't his, and yet wants to "score" a child with her?

And we call this a married "man"? Abeg make we hear word jor.

Mtcheew!

Lol. Forget that bachelor. He is truly all over the place. Couldn't even coordinate his lies well.

He said something about "marriage founded on deceit....." and I wondered why he said that when it is clear that the pill issue couldn't have started before they got married (2 kids negate that).

Then I really got pissed off when I realised he doesn't even have proof that the pill he saw was being used by his wife. Well, dude, you finally got your 15 minutes of fame (shame).

NEXT!!

mygeeZ:
what if the pills wasnt used for me? have you taught of that?

Why dont you speak with your wife? Why automatically assume the worst?
Isnt it your wife you should be talking with? Why do you expect online strangers to have the answer?

But you still have kids
anyways, calm down and just talk to her.
This doesnt call for any form of break whatsoever..