It's been fifteen years ago that my dad left my mom with three kids, two boys and a girl, my younger bro was only 6months old and I was only three years old.

It isn't easy living without a father, my mom did all she could to bring us to where we are now, sometimes we go on empty stomach, bought clothes for us twice in a year and so many things that didn't make a good living, she works most times as a maid just to make sure our education is secured (she never remarried ). I feel bad whenever I see my friends talk about their dads and I curse my dad each time I remember everything we've been through that even made me hate men.

All hope isn't lost as I'm now in my second year in the University, wishing to make my mom proud of me. I thank God for blessing me with that kinda mom.

Anybody from a broken home can as well share his/her experience.

I wouldnt say I know what it feels like.. ill be lying


but i am so glad u are in the university... ull learn abt fallacies.. esp the fallacy of generalising
we have good men out there. be open minded
I didnt want to comment initially. but u want to be a better person, dont u?
so having pple spill their sad tales wouldnt help u.


believe u would have it better.. and so shall it be.

cheers

Your mum has done well

youve done well

What u need to do now

- excel in your studies and graduate with good grades
- Be circumspect in your marital choice so your kids dont experience the same thing
- Dont neglect your mum in her old age

pickabeau1:
Your mum has done well

youve done well

What u need to do now

- excel in your studies and graduate with good grades
- Be circumspect in your marital choice so your kids dont experience the same thing
- Dont neglect your mum in her old age

I dare not neglect her, thanks sir

pickabeau1:
Your mum has done well

youve done well

What u need to do now

- excel in your studies and graduate with good grades
- Be circumspect in your marital choice so your kids dont experience the same thing
- Dont neglect your mum in her old age

I dare not neglect her, thanks sir.

Ayoolajumoke:
It's been fifteen years ago that my dad left my mom with three kids, two boys and a girl, my younger bro was only 6months old and I was only three years old.
It isn't easy living without a father, my mom did all she could to bring us to where we are now, sometimes we go on empty stomach, bought clothes for us twice in a year and so many things that didn't make a good living, she works most times as a maid just to make sure our education is secured (she never remarried ). I feel bad whenever I see my friends talk about their dads and I curse my dad each time I remember everything we've been through that even made me hate men.
All hope isn't lost as I'm now in my second year in the University, wishing to make my mom proud of me. I thank God for blessing me with that kinda mom.
Anybody from a broken home can as well share his/her experience.

Am so sorry for what you went through
I cant tell you how to react but i can only advice: hate is a negative emotion, curses at him wont change what happened.

Not all men are bad or inconsiderate, there are great men out there. Open your mind as well as your eyes, be diligent and hardworking.

Some mothers also run and leave the kids with their grandmothers and go and do what ever they want thankfully mama stayed and as hard as it was made life a lot more bearable for you and your sibblings.

Please do well in school, don't just cram but read to understand also learn a skill in your spare time. In life there will always be something people have that we may not have thats life. When next people talk about their dads and you feel bad instead of cursing thank God for your health your mom and sibblings. It will end ib praise

It feels great!
ABEG TOK FOR YASEF O!

Love is not by force!
My mom built own her house DOWN THE STREET from my dad's house . . . . .she was only 24. . . . WITH 4 kids!
AND COULD SHOW UP AT ANY TIME. . . . .day or night to harass any one who DARED to give us any wahala o!!!!!
They both were in competition to give us THE BEST!
I did not miss NATIN!!!!

DIVORCE does not mean abandon your children abi?
It was THE BEST DECISION MY PARENTS MADE!

They were soooooooo incomPATIble!!!!
That marriage only took place because of pregnancy with my older brother who never survived!
Just to do the right thing!

My dad loooooooooooved my mom . . . But my mom did not love my dad!(MAGA MUST PAY! )

I still lived the best of lives compared to many so-called "unbroken" homes!
My father was the single parent!!!!!
HE NEVER RE-MARRIED!!!! Unlike ALL NIGERIAN MEN PURSUING TOTO ALL OVER HELL AND HADES!
Guess who built his mansion in his village? MY MOM!!!!

25 million Naira. . . Cash!!!!! This was 15 year before he died o! To thank him for raising her SUPER WELL-BEHAVED KIDS!!!!

Should I tell you about the last visit my dad made to my mom's home before he died. . . . He even ate HOT EBA AND OKRO SOUP DIA KE. JUST TO THANK HER?


HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!

It doesn't matter how you were born or how life was growing up.You are here now.
Make the best of your present situation.Your education is going on fine and God has been helping your mum to pull through.Keep working hard to graduate with good grades.

Not all men are bad,matter of fact there are many good ones.Your dad is not a standard for men.You will need to understand and imbibe this else it will affect your relationships with the opposite sex.You don't want to end up like your parents do you?

Kanwulia:
It feels great!

Love is not by force!
My mom built her house DOWN THE STREET from my dad's house AND COULD SHOW UP AT ANY TIME. . . . .day or night!
They both were in competition to give us THE BEST!
I did not miss NATIN!!!!

DIVORCE does not mean abandon your children abi?
It was THE BEST DECISION MY PARENTS MADE!

They were soooooooo incomparable!!!!
That marriage only took place because of pregnancy with my older brother who never survived!
Just to do the right thing!

My dad loooooooooooved my mom . . . But my mom did not love my dad!(MAGA MUST PAY! )

I still lived the best of lives compared to many so-called "unbroken" homes!
My father was the single parent!!!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!

Uhmm, good for you. You didn't lose anything bcoz both of them provided for your needs, at least you see both of them often. lol, I bet you wouldn't want to experience mine.

yeah thank God that u are where u are now,thanks to ur mum too,,as others said ,anger will lead u no where,,ur dad will always be ur dad nomatter what, same to ur mum,,i know this may sound stupid,,but at ur own convinient, try to meet ur dad if u can,and ask him what really happened that made him leave,,u might be surprise on what he got to say,,but no amount of reason is enough to abandon ur kids,,but just try and meet him,,thas my advice

Ayoolajumoke:


Uhmm, good for you. You didn't lose anything bcoz both of them provided for your needs, at least you see both of them often. lol, I bet you wouldn't want to experience mine.

That is the point! YOUR FATHER NEVER LOVED YOU! He walked out on you! HIS CHOICE!
The problem is YOUR FATHER, not "a broken home"!

Nothing wrong with broken homes, if the children are LOVED AND CARED FOR BY BOTH PARENTS!
WE ALL LEARNED SELF-RESPECT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION!!! LOVE IS NOT BY FORCE!

There are "MANY UNBROKEN" homes were the children are ABANDONED by both parents who still CLAIMED TO BE YOLKED BY POVERTY OR POLYGAMY(PSEUDO-MARRIAGES). . . . .aka SHIARRRRRRING TOTOS AND BLOKOSES!

I will still prefer my situation 100%!!!!
The 4 children are THE ONLY CHILDREN FROM MY PARENTS!!!!!!! We grew up to be EMOTIONALLY-FORMIDABLE. . . . . .AND LEARNED TO LOVE ONLY THOSE WHO LOVED US!!!!
We did not miss NATIN!!!! Amen!!!!!

achinaboy:
yeah thank God that u are where u are now,thanks to ur mum too,,as others said ,anger will lead u no where,,ur dad will always be ur dad nomatter what, same to ur mum,,i know this may sound stupid,,but at ur own convinient, try to meet ur dad if u can,and ask him what really happened that made him leave,,u might be surprise on what he got to say,,but no amount of reason is enough to abandon ur kids,,but just try and meet him,,thas my advice

oh oh, I won't even love to see him again let alone talk with him, my brothers even hate him more than I do. Thanks for the advice.

Ayoolajumoke:


oh oh, I won't even love to see him again let alone talk with him, my brothers even hate him more than I do. Thanks for the advice.

well i tried,ur brothers even hates him more than u do,,why,,let me answer the question,,because he left u all,,,why did he left? when people asks u this question in future what will be ur answer? well good luk with everthing God is on ur side

Ayoolajumoke:


oh oh, I won't even love to see him again let alone talk with him, my brothers even hate him more than I do. Thanks for the advice.

Why are you trying to contact a SPPPPPERM-DONOR who does not care for you?
You think blood is alway thicker than water?
MOST AFRICAN/NIGERIAN men only have COOLAID running through their veins o!
The color is red abi?
Na blood you call am?

Are you trying to be ungrateful to your mom?

You have issues!
Please, deal with them and don't go looking for A MAN that does not care about your existence!


Thank you!

Post cleared.

Kanwulia:


Why are you trying to contact a SPPPPPERM-DONOR who does not care for you?
You think blood is alway thicker than water?
MOST AFRICAN/NIGERIAN men only have COOLAID running through their veins o!
The color is red abi?
Na blood you call am?

Are you trying to be ungrateful to your mom?

You have issues!
Please, deal with them and don't go looking for A MAN that does not care about your existence!


Thank you!

Thank you bro! My thought exactly, he is just a sperm donor, and someone was telling me sometime ago that he will come back to his family when we are grown ups, I was like WTF, he dares not.

acenazt:
Well I Love my Dad even though i don't know how it felt having him.
My dad Left my mom Before I was born at 23. he never showed up till when I was 9. and throughout that period of Absence my mom nursed the Hope that her Husband will return,despite the advice given to her by people. she held on strong,when he left her Father I.e my Grandfather took back his pregnant Daughter and watched her till she delivered. mom almost died of jaundice and was I'll throughout my first six months. I was suckled by another woman who gave birth in the same period with my mom. I was born an Ill baby but my grandma nursed both my mom and I till we were OK. we continued living with my grandparents and my grandpa got an extra mouth to provide for. I grew up well and one blessed day a man showed up claiming to be my Dad,I was very clueless of the situation I always thought my grandpa was my dad. The man returned, asked my mom for forgiveness and my grandparents forgave his cowardly acts on one condition,I remain with them which he agreed. he and my mom went back to the new house he built and I visited them for the weekends. with time another child was expected and when he was born,my dad brought My mom and my week old brother to our grandma. sold all he Owned and went away with the promise of returning in a week as he was going for a business deal. one week grew to months and finally when my younger brother was 3 he returned to find my mom Already Married. she couldn't wait any longer and she couldn't bear the pain of a husband who runs away from responsibility. I always feel bad when I see fathers taking their kids to school and wish I had that experience. my brother doesn't even know his real father and now he is 9. my grandpa is the man I look up to as I and my step father don't jell. anytime I try picturing my father,my grandpa comes in mind. I just pray to be like him. and I pray my father changes.

Eeyah!

Ayoolajumoke:


Thank you bro! My thought exactly, he is just a sperm donor, and someone was telling me sometime ago that he will come back to his family when we are grown ups, I was like WTF, he dares not.

SEE?
You are still suffering emotionally from his abandonment, and rightly so.
Maybe if I were raised by a SINGLE MOM, I would identify with your sentiments of anger and rejection.
You never REALLY knew your dad. . . . So, I cannot understand why you the SONS keep having such levels of hostility towards "A STRANGER"!

If he comes back. . . .You simply say hello. . . And be polite!
He is coming on his own free will.
Let his conscience ride him. Simple!!!

I see you guys are growing up to be angry men. If you are not careful, you WILL TRIPEAT the cycle of abandonment with your own wives!

It is ok to be hurt and learn to MOVE ON!
What is not ok. . . . . Is to be HURT AND HATEFUL!

You guys should check yourselves and your NEGATIVE EMOTIONS before you become damaged for LIFE!

Learning to deal with rejection is just as easy as learning to deal with acceptance.

The only problem is YOUR CHOICE!!!!

Hardship and adversity should never define your personality. . . .ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE WINNING!

You need to stick with making MAMA proud. . . .stop hating YOUR LIFE!

Kanwulia:


SEE?
You are still suffering emotionally from his abandonment, and rightly so.
Maybe if I were raised by a SINGLE MOM, I would identify with your sentiments of anger and rejection.
You never knew your dad. . . . So, I cannot understand why you the SONS keep having such levels of hostility towards "A STRANGER"!

If he comes back. . . .You simply say hello. . . And be polite!
He is coming on his own free will.
Let his conscience ride him. Simple!!!

I see you guys are growing up to be angry men. If you are not careful, you WILL TRIPEAT the cycle of abandonment with your own wives!

It is ok to be hurt and learn to MOVE ON!
What is not ok. . . . . Is to be HURT AND HATEFUL!

You guys should check yourselves and your NEGATIVE EMOTIONS before you become damaged for LIFE!

Learning to deal with rejection is just as easy as learning to deal with acceptance.

The only problem is YOUR CHOICE!!!!

Hardship and adversity should never define your personality. . . .ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE WINNING!

You need to stick with making MAMA proud. . . .stop hating YOUR LIFE!

Word!

What if he shows up when u wanna wed, won't u accept him? Abi someone sha has to sit as ur father, will anoda person now sit as ur father wen ur biological father is there at the event? U just have to accept it as God's will, dat's how God has destined u ppl's path. I pray u guys will pay bak ur mum in good and may she also live long to eat the fruits of her labour.

haftob:
What if he shows up when u wanna wed, won't u accept him? Abi someone sha has to sit as ur father, will anoda person now sit as ur father wen ur biological father is there at the event? U just have to accept it as God's will, dat's how God has destined u ppl's path. I pray u guys will pay bak ur mum in good and may she also live long to eat the fruits of her labour.

I don't even wanna think about it. Amen to your prayer.

Op,I feel your pain because I also come from a broken home,the only difference is that my dad didnt abandon us but honestly my dear mum(God bless her soul) went through hell raising the 3 of us singlehandedly, depriving herself of basic comforts of life just to make sure we turn out well. Sadly she died shortly after I graduated and till date,I ask God why He permitted her to leave when it was time for her to reap the fruit of her labour.
As for my dad,I don't hate him(though it takes the grace of God not to do that) but he cannot impose His needs on me,I assist him when/if I want.
My advice to you,is to face your studies,(ranti omo tio oje) and God will perfect that which concerns you and always pray for good health and long life for your mom,she deserves to live in comfort after all the stress.
Peace!!!

acenazt:
Well I Love my Dad even though i don't know how it felt having him.
My dad Left my mom Before I was born at 23. he never showed up till when I was 9. and throughout that period of Absence my mom nursed the Hope that her Husband will return,despite the advice given to her by people. she held on strong,when he left her Father I.e my Grandfather took back his pregnant Daughter and watched her till she delivered. mom almost died of jaundice and was I'll throughout my first six months. I was suckled by another woman who gave birth in the same period with my mom. I was born an Ill baby but my grandma nursed both my mom and I till we were OK. we continued living with my grandparents and my grandpa got an extra mouth to provide for. I grew up well and one blessed day a man showed up claiming to be my Dad,I was very clueless of the situation I always thought my grandpa was my dad. The man returned, asked my mom for forgiveness and my grandparents forgave his cowardly acts on one condition,I remain with them which he agreed. he and my mom went back to the new house he built and I visited them for the weekends. with time another child was expected and when he was born,my dad brought My mom and my week old brother to our grandma. sold all he Owned and went away with the promise of returning in a week as he was going for a business deal. one week grew to months and finally when my younger brother was 3 he returned to find my mom Already Married. she couldn't wait any longer and she couldn't bear the pain of a husband who runs away from responsibility. I always feel bad when I see fathers taking their kids to school and wish I had that experience. my brother doesn't even know his real father and now he is 9. my grandpa is the man I look up to as I and my step father don't jell. anytime I try picturing my father,my grandpa comes in mind. I just pray to be like him. and I pray my father changes.

we gø tru some tingz so our kids dnt go tru same.ur story is vry touchng

I didn't come from a a broken home. Had my mum, grandma, grandad, uncles, aunties, cousins around.

Rosarie:
we gø tru some tingz so our kids dnt go tru same.ur story is vry touchng

thanks. I hope and pray I become a better Father to my children.

i am 4rm one&it wasnt funny growing up.

Ayoolajumoke:


oh oh, I won't even love to see him again let alone talk with him, my brothers even hate him more than I do. Thanks for the advice.

Hate is a strong word to use and a very bad thing to harbor. It not only consumes you but has psych effects on your decisions subconsciously. You are doing yourself more harm than good. Just learn to move on and learn to live with his absence. Tough but life throws us various tribulations and this is your own cross to carry.

What he did was despicable but just learn to forget it. You should thank God your mum stood by you and not throw you out like he did.Just forge on and excel in life. There is more to life than hating on someone who for all intent may be dead or even doesn't remember he has offsprings somewhere.

And mind you there's nothing like a "broken home", just a family with different architecture, peculiarities and description. Stop attaching negativity to yourself. Nothing wrong being brought up by a single parent.

onegig:
Hate is a strong word to use and a very bad thing to harbor. It not only consumes you but has psych effects on your decisions subconsciously. You are doing yourself more harm than good. Just learn to move on and learn to live with his absence. Tough but life throws us various tribulations and this is your own cross to carry.

What he did was despicable but just learn to forget it. You should thank God your mum stood by you and not throw you out like he did.Just forge on and excel in life. There is more to life than hating on someone who for all intent may be dead or even doesn't remember he has offsprings somewhere.

And mind you there's nothing like a "broken home", just a family with different architecture, peculiarities and description. Stop attaching negativity to yourself. Nothing wrong being brought up by a single parent.

Thanks sir.

It would have been better if my parent are separated than what they are now. Living together under one shed without talking to eachother for years is more better than being divorced. I wanted to tell the story behind this ,but tears is rolling than my cheeks......

Sobs!

Cursing your dad will only make you a bitter person,i grew up with my grandma in a home of 5 adults and 11 kids more like an orphanage,my mom watched me from a distances thou my dad never looked back,faught my insecurities,and now i admire the person i have become,am proud that it took only me to get were i am today..

Sorry OP. That's too bad. I don't know how it feels. But don't dwell too much on it. Make sure you are wiser in your choice of husband so that it will not be a generational issue. Be very careful who you marry or open your legs for. Anyone that can turn their backs and disappear on their family or even kids is not mentally sound at all.

Neyoor:
It would have been better if my parent are separated than what they are now. Living together under one shed without talking to eachother for years is more better than being divorced. I wanted to tell the story behind this ,but tears is rolling than my cheeks......

Sobs!

Eeyah.

Sheathe ur sword,forgive and forget.He probably leave due to economic(Financial issue or whatever is it.We all read bout the story of 3 teens abandoned by their parent in a boarding sch few months ago)dnt mind ignorance advised that flow from kids,Ur dad isn't a sperm donor.Believe me that he's thinking bout u all,most especially Ur mum.I pray Ur mum live long to reap the fruit of her labour and may the Wisdom that established Joseph/Daniel establish U and ur brotha,U'll find favor in d sight of God and man.If Ur dad appear today,embrace him,cook for him(accept him back like a prodigal son)and shame the devil.NEVA GIVE UP

Ayoolajumoke:


Thank you bro! My thought exactly, he is just a sperm donor, and someone was telling me sometime ago that he will come back to his family when we are grown ups, I was like WTF, he dares not.