Reasonabledoubt:


That’s not harsh actually. From the post you put up, is he not self centered and irresponsible?

Or because he is your father that term can’t be used to describe him?

When you bring your issues to a public forum you have given the public the right to voice their opinions.

I have read the regular African advice for reconciliation
, and how it’s the devil’s manipulation that people are giving you here.

But the truth is, a responsible man will not leave his children to starve to even if he hates their mother.

Your father doesn’t love you and your siblings, I won’t bring your mum into this, because his behavior towards her tells it all.

You guys shouldn’t waste your emotions on him, move on with your life, and when it’s time for traditional marriage if you like pay your dowry to him in the name of father, when he hasn’t earned that title.

Make something of yourselves and support your mother, then do your future children a favor by marrying a good and kind man.

Forget all this he must be God loving story, if a man is first of all kind, he will not be able to watch another person suffer.

Your last two paragraphs makes lot of sense , that's the best OP can do

It is well with you. Be strong and move on. Don't allow your past shape you wrongly.

We should all check my signature and see where we can be of service to you. We guaranteesl peace of mind in your acquisition. Let's just know your choice location and we'd get it for you at a great deal ensuring all possible loose ends are tightened because WE DO DUE DELIGENCE WITH OUR TEAM OF EXPERRS. Customer satisfaction is Paramount to us and top on our priority list.

Ayoolajumoke:
It's been fifteen years ago that my dad left my mom with three kids, two boys and a girl, my younger bro was only 6months old and I was only three years old.

It isn't easy living without a father, my mom did all she could to bring us to where we are now, sometimes we go on empty stomach, bought clothes for us twice in a year and so many things that didn't make a good living, she works most times as a maid just to make sure our education is secured (she never remarried ). I feel bad whenever I see my friends talk about their dads and I curse my dad each time I remember everything we've been through that even made me hate men.

All hope isn't lost as I'm now in my second year in the University, wishing to make my mom proud of me. I thank God for blessing me with that kinda mom.

Anybody from a broken home can as well share his/her experience.

Growing up as child a lot of things went through one's mind, even suicide. Divorce is hard. Soooo hard. But sometimes I'm happy about it, not for the lives it ruined but because it actually made me a better person. I've learnt from my parents mistake and although I'm hurt inside and some things I can never get back you have to let it go. It's hard but you have to, else you'll become thesame person you hated. You'll still carry the hurt into marriage but you must learn from it. Some ladies have done extremely well for a single mom same with single fathers. The main thing is to learn from it.

Thank you all for your contributions. I'm better now, Jah bless y'all.

It's been 22 years ago since my parents divorced. Life has to go on. My dad's own is too much.

Neyoor:
It would have been better if my parent are separated than what they are now. Living together under one shed without talking to eachother for years is more better than being divorced. I wanted to tell the story behind this ,but tears is rolling than my cheeks......

Sobs!

.


Tell the story biko. Let's learn

I must say , psychologically you are strong , very strong


Though , i do feel some form of pity for those who live through such, most do not come out as strong as you did

The sky is your limit

[quote author=Kanwulia post=27720277]


That is the point! YOUR FATHER NEVER LOVED YOU! He walked out on you! HIS CHOICE!
The problem is YOUR FATHER, not "a broken home"!

Nothing wrong with broken homes, if the children are LOVED AND CARED FOR BY BOTH PARENTS!
WE ALL LEARNED SELF-RESPECT AND HOW TO DEAL WITH REJECTION!!! LOVE IS NOT BY FORCE!

There are "MANY UNBROKEN" homes were the children are ABANDONED by both parents who still CLAIMED TO BE YOLKED BY POVERTY OR POLYGAMY(PSEUDO-MARRIAGES). . . . .aka SHIARRRRRRING TOTOS AND BLOKOSES!

I will still prefer my situation 100%!!!!
The 4 children are THE ONLY CHILDREN FROM MY PARENTS!!!!!!! We grew up to be EMOTIONALLY-FORMIDABLE. . . . . .AND LEARNED TO LOVE ONLY THOSE WHO LOVED US!!!!
We did not miss NATIN!!!! Amen!!!!! [/quotetalking bullshyt!!!! Yr dad n mum were probably still lovers.....some father's get frustrated out of their children's lives. I don't think any sane man stands up and abandons kids. If trying to be in a child's life is met with blackmail as most angry women do...then its better to leave the children and live king for em. @op get in contact with your dad now you're older and let him tke care of his responsibilities. I'm pretty sure when you talk with him, a lot of things will mke sense and that deep feeling of rejection wikk go. The real culprit may just be your mother. Just saying. Hear both sides.

I'll share a lil story here. True life .

I had an intern work under me last year, really nice good looking damsel but behind all tht smile I sensed a sense of trying to belong. I'd noticed shed hardly mentioned her dad on matters concerning the home front. Ibe day u asked where's popsy?!! Ofcos I heard every type of abuse, how he'd abandoned her, was a wicked heartless man, infact he hadn't dropped a kobo for her from birth. I asked if shed spoken lately to him, she replied " she NVR wanted to see him, and wouldn't be there at his burial".. Well to cut the story short, I advised her to drop her ego and call him up, introduce herself, and see his reaction (since the last time she saw him she was 7). She viciously rejected this advise but the next day came back to say shed pondered over everything and decided to call him. That same day she came back almost skipping that he was so happy to hear from her and even arranged that she come over to ondo state(he'd started a family there). He even wired some cash to her in minutes. Now what amazed me most was, this was a girl professing hatred and demonizing her dad, who was a gd for nothing broke man, etc here she was so full of joy. Anyways she went to see him, the new wife ironically welcomed her. Now she' didn't even need to hear his own side. She's smply ovdrjoyed she reunited with her dad. If you really want to know how she did this I can give you her number (DM me) only her can describe the feeling of finding out her dad actually loved her but had to let her go for peace of mind. Just wondering hw being an Intern under me saved Her, she's so gratedul . Now this may not be the story for everybody, but it's imperative to always srsy neutral until ur directly hurt by a parent. Op u are entitled to be cared for by yr Dad, if he's capable it's your right. Reach out you might be shocked at how this turns out. Let him directly show himself to you before u decide. When parents fight the children suffer.

Fundamentalist:


I must say , psychologically you are strong , very strong


Though , i do feel some form of pity for those who live through such, most do not come out as strong as you did

The sky is your limit

Awnnn, thanks for these kind words. I smiled reading through it. God bless.

revolt:
I'll share a lil story here. True life .

I had an intern work under me last year, really nice good looking damsel but behind all tht smile I sensed a sense of trying to belong. I'd noticed shed hardly mentioned her dad on matters concerning the home front. Ibe day u asked where's popsy?!! Ofcos I heard every type of abuse, how he'd abandoned her, was a wicked heartless man, infact he hadn't dropped a kobo for her from birth. I asked if shed spoken lately to him, she replied " she NVR wanted to see him, and wouldn't be there at his burial".. Well to cut the story short, I advised her to drop her ego and call him up, introduce herself, and see his reaction (since the last time she saw him she was 7). She viciously rejected this advise but the next day came back to say shed pondered over everything and decided to call him. That same day she came back almost skipping that he was so happy to hear from her and even arranged that she come over to ondo state(he'd started a family there). He even wired some cash to her in minutes. Now what amazed me most was, this was a girl professing hatred and demonizing her dad, who was a gd for nothing broke man, etc here she was so full of joy. Anyways she went to see him, the new wife ironically welcomed her. Now she' didn't even need to hear his own side. She's smply ovdrjoyed she reunited with her dad. If you really want to know how she did this I can give you her number (DM me) only her can describe the feeling of finding out her dad actually loved her but had to let her go for peace of mind. Just wondering hw being an Intern under me saved Her, she's so gratedul . Now this may not be the story for everybody, but it's imperative to always srsy neutral until ur directly hurt by a parent. Op u are entitled to be cared for by yr Dad, if he's capable it's your right. Reach out you might be shocked at how this turns out. Let him directly show himself to you before u decide. When parents fight the children suffer.

I created this topic almost 4 years ago and the only thing that has changed is that my mum became totally incapable to shoulder any of our responsibilities (my brothers and I) so, I just have to be strong for myself.

I don't need to reconnect with him too, he is totally useless and he's not significant.
Thanks for the offer though, I am not interested.

Ayoolajumoke:


I created this topic almost 4 years ago and the only thing that has changed is that my mum became totally incapable to shoulder any of our responsibilities (my brothers and I) so, I just have to be strong for myself.

I don't need to reconnect with him too, he is totally useless and he's not significant.
Thanks for the offer though, I am not interested.

so why then are u so hurt. Sorry bout ur mum. But u rmba she said exactly the same thing before she decided to try out reconciliation. Well its ur life, ur worries my dear .

revolt:
so why then are u so hurt. Sorry bout ur mum. But u rmba she said exactly the same thing before she decided to try out reconciliation. Well its ur life, ur worries my dear .

It is only normal to be hurt.
Yes, my life, my worries! Thank you.

I come from a broken home. But I was 17years n in 200level then. Although the signs that the marriage was heading to the rock were there yl growing up. My parents last born was just two years when they separated. The good part is,both aren't remarried. I lived with my mom but my dad paid the bills n still does. Although my mom is financially bouyant than him. But he's more free with cash even till date. My younger ones shuttle btw mom n dad's place cos they don't stay very far from each other. Although they don't communicate. Like this hols, she's with dad but once sch resumes, she goes back to mom. I never allowed the p get into me. I only pray to become a great wife to the man who earns it n a great mom. I've come to realize that in life, we can't force people nor their actions. Both parents are great. Dad's the best though. Easy man. I pray I end up with his type

Ayoolajumoke:
It's been fifteen years ago that my dad left my mom with three kids, two boys and a girl, my younger bro was only 6months old and I was only three years old.

It isn't easy living without a father, my mom did all she could to bring us to where we are now, sometimes we go on empty stomach, bought clothes for us twice in a year and so many things that didn't make a good living, she works most times as a maid just to make sure our education is secured (she never remarried ). I feel bad whenever I see my friends talk about their dads and I curse my dad each time I remember everything we've been through that even made me hate men.

All hope isn't lost as I'm now in my second year in the University, wishing to make my mom proud of me. I thank God for blessing me with that kinda mom.

Anybody from a broken home can as well share his/her experience.

I hope you have graduated and found a good job. Hope you have made your mum proud

Gliding:


I hope you have graduated and found a good job. Hope you have made your mum proud

Not so easy, step by step though.
Thanks for your concern.

Ayoolajumoke:


Not so easy, step by step though.
Thanks for your concern.

If you need help on some issues, you may mention my moniker.
I'm not promising much though.

Take care and warm regards

Gliding:


If you need help on some issues, you may mention my moniker.
I'm not promising much though.

Take care and warm regards

Awww, thank you.
My pressing need right now is a good ppa in Lagos.

Ayoolajumoke:


Awww, thank you.
My pressing need right now is a good ppa in Lagos.

I will check with some people and get back to you. What course did you study?
You can send a personal message if you wish.

Gliding:



I will check with some people and get back to you. What course did you study?
You can send a personal message if you wish.

I just sent a PM sir, kindly reply.

Ayoolajumoke:


I just sent a PM sir, kindly reply.

Sorry, I couldn't view the message neither did I find it in my e-mails. Maybe I'm not very familiar with how to do it. I sent a pm as well, hope you are able to access it.

Gliding:


Sorry, I couldn't view the message neither did I find it in my e-mails. Maybe I'm not very familiar with how to do it. I sent a pm as well, hope you are able to access it.

I’ve replied your mail, please check.

Ayoolajumoke:
It's been fifteen years ago that my dad left my mom with three kids, two boys and a girl, my younger bro was only 6months old and I was only three years old.

It isn't easy living without a father, my mom did all she could to bring us to where we are now, sometimes we go on empty stomach, bought clothes for us twice in a year and so many things that didn't make a good living, she works most times as a maid just to make sure our education is secured (she never remarried ). I feel bad whenever I see my friends talk about their dads and I curse my dad each time I remember everything we've been through that even made me hate men.

All hope isn't lost as I'm now in my second year in the University, wishing to make my mom proud of me. I thank God for blessing me with that kinda mom.

Anybody from a broken home can as well share his/her experience.

So touching. It's well with you. You should be through with university and probably working. Who knows, married by now.

Ayoolajumoke:


I dare not neglect her, thanks sir

I dare not neglect her, thanks sir.

Sent you a pm... Care to know you. Jummy

It’s terrible! More terrible than you can ever ever ever imagine!

I pity men who feel going the polygamous way will bring solutions to their problems too.

Your kids will detest you for life and it will only take the Grace of God for them to really forgive you.

I’m married now, but the fact that I came from a broken home still makes me sad as there are so many things I wished I could get my mom and dad involved together.
I can’t claim to have a family home, I can’t seek advice from my dad, I can’t have basically a good relationship with my parents as it is just too broken and I went through a lot growing up. Thank God for His Mercies, I would have ended up badly and broken but I chose to avoid the mistakes my parents made by following Christ completely.

Ayoolajumoke:


Thank you bro! My thought exactly, he is just a sperm donor, and someone was telling me sometime ago that he will come back to his family when we are grown ups, I was like WTF, he dares not.

This hatred and bitterness might affect your life generally. Take it easy. There's something your mom isn't telling you about what really happened.

Tysam302:

Your last two paragraphs makes lot of sense , that's the best OP can do

Lady two paragraphs: she can also unleash her bitterness on the kind man when issues arises.

thotianna:
Op how far? Has ya self centered irresponsible papa come back?

Na mumu u be