xx

With due consideration for contextand reality, an independent woman is one who does not consistently depend on others for her survival, particularly when such Independence confers a status of authority on the provider

too many definitions. buh who is really independent? mi answer is - NONE. one way or d other, whether its in a relationship or not, all living things that have life is dependent one way or d other on something/someone. d word independent as i see all this mi good friends' comments above mine defining it, is totally delusional. its high time we started facing reality lest we end up like d giant of africa (NB: mean no harm for i'm a citizen of that giant of africa too).

freecocoa:


I believe an independent woman is one who can take care of herself but that doesn't mean she can't ask her man for stuffs when she needs it and ofcourse he gets to do same.

She is a lady who actually does not need the help of her boyfriend, fiancé or husband. But she has willingly decided to let him take care of her and has come to rely on the guy. Notwithstanding if the guy slack or drag feet small she go just pick up the slack and take care of things excellently.

Lordabas:









An independent woman is just...that woman who can function in her daily life indepently. Hence, without a man, mother, father, family help. A woman who can bring home the bacon and fry it too!
And if a man so happens to come along, he would be lucky to find someone who isn't a needy baby!

Who the hell on earth is 'Independent'?

If you think having money to pay bills makes you independent, why not eat, drink, and bathe in the money? Why purchase goods and services with the money? None bar none is 'Independent'. I understand the context with which the OP is talking about 'Independent women' but even then its all a status symbol.
If you wanna be really Independent, go create your own country, live there alone, build your own house yourself, build your own car yourself, plant your own food, create your own business and patronize yourself FFS.
Show me someone who claims to be an Independent person and I'd show you an ungrateful person who simply disregards the contribution of other people in his/her life.

freecocoa:
Maybe my grammar is going bad, what I actually mean is that, if we get to share those things mentioned as a couple, what then is a car?

Wow that's cool so we can share the car you bought all by yourself , I knew you have a good heart. Bless your soul , your guy is one lucky bastaaard.

Konjour:
Who the hell on earth is 'Independent'?

If you think having money to pay bills makes you independent, why not eat, drink, and bathe in the money? Why purchase goods and services with the money? None bar none is 'Independent'. I understand the context with which the OP is talking about 'Independent women' but even then its all a status symbol.
If you wanna be really Independent, go create your own country, live there alone, build your own house yourself, build your own car yourself, plant your own food, create your own business and patronize yourself FFS.
Show me someone who claims to be an Independent person and I'd show you an ungrateful person who simply disregards the contribution of other people in his/her life.

Nice! Well said!

freecocoa:
You are the one who doesn't get it, the fact that you are more materially welloff than your girlfriend doesn't make you independent of her, one way or another you depend on her, the tables may even turn and she gets to help you monetarily, just what is the big deal in that? Abi una love na for mouth? I give up abeg.

So your boyfriend giving u one of his cars is love?? Then it's the responsibility of your parents to buy a Ferrari or they don't love u. Why is it OK for ur parents not to allow to drive their cars, but it's expected that your BF is supposed let you have his car?? Has your BF bought a car for his parents?? It seems you don't know the BIG difference a GF and a Wife

neoapocalypse:


Wow that's cool so we can share the car you bought all by yourself , I knew you have a good heart. Bless your soul , your guy is one lucky bastaaard.

Why can't we? I can share my car with my friends let alone someone I share my most intimate thoughts with, I must be from another planet with what I'm reading on this thread.

Misogynist2014:
Your tone sounds like that of fear. Its a known fact that African women are not as industrous as they used to be. Only God knows what a lot of women will live on in a world of sapiosexuals.

Fear? Lol more like mild irritation

She's a woman that knows how to sing Neyo's "Miss independent"

An independent lady is a lady who earns by engaging in something genuie using the outcome to pay her bills.thats who i aim to be.

adconline:

So your boyfriend giving u one of his cars is love?? Then it's the responsibility of your parents to buy a Ferrari or they don't love u. Why is it OK for ur parents not to allow to drive their cars, but it's expected that your BF is supposed let you have his car?? Has your BF bought a car for his parents?? It seems you don't know the BIG difference a GF and a Wife

Who told you it's ok for my folks not to allow me use their car? Matter of fact, my siblings and I use it if need be.

One thing with NL, is that most people just love to argue for the sake of it, not that they actually mean or even know what they are talking about. I don't know why you are bringing his parents into this, the thread that prompted this one made it clear that the car was parked, if his parents needed it, it's more than ok for him to give it to them, what I'm talking about is how I can be in need and him being able to help without helping so I don't know what you are getting at, the car was only used figuratively by me.

freecocoa:
So I created this thread to get better views on who/what people think/believe an independent woman is/should be. A lady (firstEva) talked about her boyfriend having two cars yet she has to 'trek' about town, asking if it isn't selfish of him not to give her one, now I see nothing wrong in her wanting to share her boyfriend's car, only thing is, she didn't ask but almost everyone sounded like she committed a heinous crime for even just harboring the thought of ever using his car, shior! .

I believe an independent woman is one who can take care of herself but that doesn't mean she can't ask her man for stuffs when she needs it and ofcourse he gets to do same.

I'm only asking because from what I read yesterday, people sounded like an Independent woman is one who doesn't ask her man for anything whatsoever, I come dey wonder, if I can share my body, my time, my brain, my energy etc with my man, what then is a 'ducking' car?

The man also shares his body, his time, his brain, his energy etc with you too. That he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he's responsible for you?

Before you call yourself an independent woman, go check the meaning first on a dictionary.

If you're truly independent, you won't be expecting a man to buy or give you a car, buy or give you a house or pay your rent, buy your clothes or pay for your jewels etc.

An independent woman has diginity and attracts more respect and admiration from men because she takes care of herself and pays for her stuff and don't sits and expects or waits for a man to do anythiny for her.

That your boyfriend has two or more cars doesn't make it mandatory that he must give you one. In fact, his relationship with you is not even mandatory. You're not his wife and he's NOT responsible for you. Any thing he does for you is just a gift at his own will.

The golddigger mentally most Nigerian women have is very pathetic. Having a boyfriend, to them, is about getting someone who can pay for their rents, give them money and buy them stuff.
Marraige to them, is about getting a permanent fool they can extort money and get material stuff from all their lives. After school the next thing on their list is marriage NOT a career.

The only "gift" they give their men is normally one cheap t-shirt or st*upid tie they bought with your money. But they always demand you give them expensive gifts.

There are very few independent women in Nigeria while others pure golddiggers and you, OP, are one of them.

freecocoa:
Who told you it's ok for my folks not to allow me use their car? Matter of fact, my siblings and I use it if need be.

One thing with NL, is that most people just love to argue for the sake of it, not that they actually mean or even know what they are talking about. I don't know why you are bringing his parents into this, the thread that prompted this one made it clear that the car was parked, if his parents needed it, it's more than ok for him to give it to them, what I'm talking about is how I can be in need and him being able to help without helping so I don't know what you are getting at, the car was only used figuratively by me.

Problem with u, is that u thrive in fantasy and delusion while most of us see it with realistic prism. You believe that your body entitles you u to man's possesion and you are not backing down on it. It's what you bring to the table outside S3X that endears to the man. So if the man has another house/apt, his gf gets a key to the house? The man shares his ATM pin and bank account with his gf?? Only women like u come with nothing and demand to have equal possession of a man's sweat... Smh. That's what wives are for not GFs..

NobleG1:


The man also shares his body, his time, his brain, his energy etc with you too. That he's your boyfriend doesn't mean he's responsible for you?

Before you call yourself an independent woman, go check the meaning first on a dictionary.

If you're trully independent, you won't be expecting a man to buy or give you a car, buy or give you a house or pay your rent, buy your clothes or pay for your jewels etc.

An independent woman has diginity and attracts more respect and admiration from men because she takes care of herself and pays for her stuff and don't sits and expects or waits for a man to do anythiny for her.

That your boyfriend has two or more cars doesn't make it mandatory that he must give you one. In fact, his relationship with you is not even mandatory. You're not his wife and he's NOT responsible for you. Any thing he does for you is just a gift at his own will.

The golddigger mentally most Nigerian women have is very pathetic. Having a boyfriend, to them, is about getting someone who can pay for their rents, give them money and buy them stuff.
Marraige to them, is about getting a permanent fool they can extort money and get material stuff from all their lives. After school the next thing on their list is marriage NOT a career.

The only "gift" they give their men is a cheap t-shirt or stupid tie. But they always demand you give them expensive gifts.

There are very few independent women in Nigeria while others pure golddiggers and you, OP, are one of them.

I've kept my cool on this but for you I make an exception so I say feck you for calling me a gold digger, just what is it with you people and claiming to know everything?

Did you check the meaning of the word 'independent' before spewing the gibberish you just did? Since you obviously did not, I urge you to read further down this thread and find where it's been explained for dumb heads like you, try take a look at it and then realize that no one is actually independent and as for the context we are discussing, understand people's pov before rushing to insult them.

If I said I share things including my body with him, does that not automatically tell you his body is in the mix? Please do well to show me where I said a boyfriend should be responsible for his girlfriend,y'all talk as if, if you were in need and your woman could help but wouldn't, that you wouldn't feel any disappointment, if you must know, I don't believe in leeching on someone but we all depend on each other one way or another in life, like you didn't read the part where I said the man can also ask his woman for help if she can render it, bunch of crazy mofos, feck you again, cheers .

Matthewbriggs:
Independence is a mindset, a way of life, an idea ... the mistake most people make is to think that Independence only or simply revolves around not depending on other for anything. That's not true because the reason is in as much as you are human, you would one way or the other depend on people for something ... we are not wired to thrive in Isolation.

In light of this I think an independent woman is a woman who knows what wants she wants out of life, has a clear cut goal and plan for the future and thus pursues them with vigour and zeal, she is not easily swayed by peoples opinion. because she has learnt to own her voice and is bold enough to stand on her beliefs.

She never let's anyone or situation to put her to ransom, Most importantly She takes full responsibility over her life, her actions, inaction, her wellbeing and survival. She understand that she not entitled to anything unless she's worked for it. She is hardworking and self reliant

A woman with the above attribute would not be thinking of asking her boyfriend to give her his car because he has two cars and she is trekking ... Instead she would be thinking about how she can get her own car, and if she needs her boyfriend's car the reason she would give would be more solid and well thought out.

For example, She would ask in this manner ... Please can I use your other car for a while most especially during the weekdays so as to offset my immense transportation cost to and fro from work. I have taking driving lessons and my driving skills are quite good... Moreover I would take full responsibility of fueling the car, and its maintenance during this period. I would also ensure its well taking care of and readily at your disposal whenever you need it.

This tone of request is more proper and does not carry or suggest a sense of entitlement ... but portrays her as a woman who has a sense of responsibility. and even if he reject her request she would not be pissed ... because she knows it only a matter of time her own car would arrive

#Mathew Briggs

#aroundofapplause

who's this guy?

adconline:

Problem with u, is that u thrive in fantasy and delusion while most of us see it with realistic prism. You believe that your body entitles you u to man's possesion and you are not backing down on it. It's what you bring to the table outside S3X that endears to the man. So if the man has another house/apt, his gf gets a key to the house? The man shares his ATM pin and bank account with his gf?? Only women like u come with nothing and demand to have equal possession of a man's sweat... Smh. That's what wives are for not GFs..

My God! Please just go already, arguing with you is a colossal waste of time, no disrespect please, but even after all the back and forth you still choose to avoid the obvious, then it's really no use.

You clearly didn't see the other things I mentioned alongside the body ofcourse, typical of you people to grasp at straws instead of facing reality.

freecocoa:
My God! Please just go already, arguing with you is a colossal waste of time, no disrespect please, but even after all the back and forth you still choose to avoid the obvious, then it's really no use.

You clearly didn't see the other things I mentioned alongside the body ofcourse, typical of you people to grasp at straws instead of facing reality.

My dear, other things you mention are secondary and hide under the pretext of s3x.. S3x takes precedence over other things u mentioned.. If u didn't have s3x with the guy, would u have the guts to ask him to give u his other car??

adconline:

My dear, other things you mention are secondary and hide under the pretext of s3x.. S3x takes precedence over other things u mentioned.. If u didn't have s3x with the guy, would u have the guts to ask him to give u his other car??

For starters I've explained why the car instance was used, I'd like to think you read the OP, seriously mister it's becoming irritating, isn't it obvious from your comment that you guys are the ones who attach so much importance to $ex? If you know me in person you'd really feel stup1d for asking me that question, nuffsaid.

freecocoa:
I've kept my cool on this but for you I make an exception so I say feck you for calling me a gold digger, just what is it with you people and claiming to know everything?

Did you check the meaning of the word 'independent' before spewing the gibberish you just did? Since you obviously did not, I urge you to read further down this thread and find where it's been explained for dumb heads like you, try take a look at it and then realize that no one is actually independent and as for the context we are discussing, understand people's pov before rushing to insult them.

If I said I share things including my body with him, does that not automatically tell you his body is in the mix? Please do well to show me where I said a boyfriend should be responsible for his girlfriend,y'all talk as if, if you were in need and your woman could help but wouldn't, that you wouldn't feel any disappointment, if you must know, I don't believe in leeching on someone but we all depend on each other one way or another in life, like you didn't read the part where I said the man can also ask his woman for help if she can render it, bunch of crazy mofos, feck you again, cheers .

Let me remind you (you probably forgot). Your post was about supporting a woman who was upset that her boyfriend didn't give her one the two cars he owns.

You know, Golddiggers defend other golddiggers. I called you out on it and now you're trying to cover your tracks.

You have no clue what "independent" means because if you did, you wouldn't create this thread.

You can throw any curse word at me but it won't hide the obvious that you're golddigger. I feel sorry for any man who would have any sort of "relationship" with you.

Cheers and enjoy your golddigging spree.

NobleG1:


Let me remind you (you probably forgot). Your post was about supporting a woman who was upset that her boyfriend didn't give her one the two cars he owns.

You know, Golddiggers defend other golddiggers. I called you out on it and now you're trying to cover your tracks.

You have no clue what "independent" means because if you did, you wouldn't create this thread.

You can throw any curse word at me but it won't hide the obvious that you're golddigger. I feel sorry for any man you would have any sort of "relationship" with you.

Cheers and enjoy your golddigging spree.

Aren't just just a very fine hediot? I bet you also did not see the part where I said I only wondered because people made it look like a crime for just even thinking she can use his car, my man? Oh please he is the luckiest man alive and he knows it, so take your dumb head outta this place and go play with your miserable self.

See how you conveniently couldn't even counter any points I've made, yeye dey small, biko run along make we see road, ezi.

freecocoa:
Aren't just just a very fine hediot? I bet you also did not see the part where I said I only wondered because people made it look like a crime for just even thinking she can use his car, my man? Oh please he is the luckiest man alive and he knows it, so take your dumb head outta this place and go play with your miserable self.

See how you conveniently couldn't even counter any points I've made, yeye dey small, biko run along make we see road, ezi.

You've no other points for me to counter. You're a golddigger, that's the point you made!

mesoade:
Independent- you can take care of yourself .
.
Firsteva's account was that he had two,then he should give her one when she did not contribute anything in buying the car and has not put a ring on her finger. That's stupidity sorry to say.
.
Instead,the normal thing is asking for his permission to use his car on few occassions.

I see nothing in what she said!! The guy had two, why can't he help someone he claims to love. If I was in excess of something my love needed why wouldn't I give it to him? I wouldn't even hesitate.

You men are constantly talking about how you want women to support their men but complain about a man supporting their woman. I'm not talking about support as in taking full responsibility of a person but little things. Would it kill him to let her use one? If it was the other way round half of you wont be saying the same thing!! I'm sure she would see no issue in him using her car. E.g. If he asked her for money and she doesn't give it to him would you guys comment, is she your wife? Would you say get your own and stop being a liability?

You guys ruin your relationships before it even gets anywhere by assuming the worst in a person! Always trying to avoid being the "maga" rather than just loving each other and trusting your partner. Him letting her use his car is called kindness and being a gentleman.

NobleG1:


You've no other points for me to counter. You're a golddigger, that's the point you made!

Oya go na, have I dug any gold from you? Do you even have any gold to start with? Nwoke'm zuzuru gi si ebe a puo, it's not in any way my fault that you lack comprehension skills.

Broke ass niggas be crying like babies whenever money is mentioned, coming on NL to talk as if you have anything to say when in reality you pay for $ex, ozu re re ere .

/
There is no such thing as an Independent woman.

It is a phrase coined to fulfill a certain purpose but has been overflogged by militant feminists.

One who is able to fulfill her financial obligations is successful but not Independent.

Successful Woman? Yes! Independent woman? The target audience are the baby mamas of African-American descent and other White-trash likes mothrrs that depend on the system and child support payment for survival. A break out from the system (a la deadbeat or incarcerated dad) and being able to live well without any input from the system is seen as a great achievement and a celebration of independence. Someone who can pay her rent, buy a car and other stuff, yet lives paycheck to paycheck will be the first to remind you that she is Ms Independent. Lol.

Among the successful and educated women group, such phrase do not exist.

/

freecocoa:
Oya go na, have I dug any gold from you? Do you even have any gold to start with? Nwoke'm zuzuru gi si ebe a puo, it's not in any way my fault that you lack comprehension skills.

Broke ass niggas be crying like babies whenever money is mentioned, coming on NL to talk as if you have anything to say when in reality you pay for $ex, ozu re re ere .

Ibu onye ara. My wealth attracts filthy golddiggers like you. I f*uck and dump as*sholes like you in a jiffy.

I'm f*ucking rich!

NobleG1:


Ibu onye ara. My wealth attracts filthy golddiggers like you. I f*uck and dump as*sholes like you in a jiffy.

I'm f*ucking rich!

/
Calm down.

Zuckerberg does not talk like this.

\

InvertedHammer:

/
Calm down.

Zuckerberg does not talk like this.

\

That golddigger (freecocoa) upsets me.

NobleG1:


Ibu onye ara. My wealth attracts filthy golddiggers like you. I f*uck and dump as*sholes like you in a jiffy.

I'm f*ucking rich!

Ofcourse you are rich on NL na, who isn't? Enyia go and keep paying for $ex and leave me be.

freecocoa:
Ofcourse you are rich on NL na, who isn't? Enyia go and keep paying for $ex and leave me be.

I can pay 500 of you for sex at once if I want. Just don't get me started.