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Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? - Romance (13) - Nairaland

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Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Mescopaul(m): 8:01pm On Nov 15, 2014
charlsecy:

What a highly confused and disjointed analogy!

You admitted the Bible doesn't forbid it, why imply again that it is "not good?"

Secondly, so discussion on a topic is what determines the goodness or badness of ideas or concepts expressed therein? So, the subjects of all topics on Nairaland are "not good" simply because they have been discussed or being discussed on a thread? I wonder what sort of reasoning is that?

Maybe you need a little informing on "why" this discussion:

A. While some societies approve of cousin marriages, others frown upon and reject it.

B. The Bible nowhere condemns cousin marriage, but some uninformed persons let their hasty assumption guide their utterances instead of the words of the Bible. Or they let the standards of society they come from influence what they say and then misapply it to the Bible.

C. People from different backgrounds and with different understanding discussing a topic.

These are some of the "whys" of this thread, not whether cousin marriage is good or bad in itself. Discussion on a topic allows people to express their views on such topic. Some views are wrong, some informed, others relative.
Bro, i hand u over to ur mind and conscience. I have no time for baseless arguements. I very well know your type.
Case closed.
Quote me not.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Nobody: 9:20pm On Nov 15, 2014
hensben:
pls how is it same thing? ok see this scenero;

A man married 2 wives, each of the wife gave birth to a boy, the first wife's boy married 3 wives while the other married 1 wife, the first wife boy's last wife had a son and the son gave birth to 7 kids while the 2nd wife's boy had 10 kids, the first son of the last wife's son gave birth to a girl while the 4th son of the 2nd wife's son had a boy. can the boy n girl who are thye third generation have a date?

That you can tell us exactly how you're related to her would pose as ample deterrent to the sensible person.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Nobody: 9:25pm On Nov 15, 2014
Past work with disabled children validates my hate, yes hate, of inbreeders. My strong opinion: if you're intent on marrying your cousin, please sterilize yourself first! undecided
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by AfricanApple(f): 10:13pm On Nov 15, 2014
if my family allows, I can do dat
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by NobleG1(m): 2:15am On Nov 16, 2014
samuelezekiel:
[b]
it seems you people do not even know who a cousin is...or you are trying to turn the bible up side down....a cousin according to oxford dictionary is The son or daughter of a person’s uncle or aunt; a first cousin.
Any relation who is not a direct ancestor or descendant; one more distantly related than an uncle, aunt, granduncle, grandaunt, nephew, niece, grandnephew, grandniece, etc...and Those word are believe to be said by God(THE LORD) thru man...so be warned...God bless us All

Your god don't exist. I don't like to argue with anyone who takes the hoax, bible, too seriously.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by GuyFawkes: 4:55am On Nov 16, 2014
Inbreeding- its not even an ethical issue, that sh1t just stinks. Leave the royal families to their inbreeding, i'm sure when they can't get some diseases outta their genes from generation to generation they'll go full mode into marrying regular folks.

Those hillbillies though, they've got enough freaks to alert you to the dangers of inbreeding.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by owcheychey(f): 5:15pm On Nov 16, 2014
donroxy:
Some culture allow it but only forbid marriage between Brothers/Sister .... Half brother/half sister , Aunts/Uncle, Nephew/Niece , StepMother/StepFather .......

Islam my religion allow marriage between cousins while Yoruba my heritage forbid it .... Me I'm indifference !!

GBAM!
You are indifference gaan!
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by owcheychey(f): 5:18pm On Nov 16, 2014
I think its wrong tho. Its like dating my brother. How can u even have feelings for family *shivers

1 Like

Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by owcheychey(f): 5:20pm On Nov 16, 2014
EnlightenedSoul:
Past work with disabled children validates my hate, yes hate, of inbreeders. My strong opinion: if you're intent on marrying your cousin, please sterilize yourself first! undecided





LMAO
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Nobody: 10:22pm On Nov 16, 2014
owcheychey:




LMAO

I'm dead serious tho.

Dude, I've come across the oddest. If one thinks it's okay to marry his/her damn cousin, chances are high they're okay with, or will in fact arrange a marriage between their own children and their cousins depending on the culture...and so the trend continues. You won't believe the problems the children end up with! I've met a child who had a rare illness reportedly only 25 people in the world have. The child was 3 years old with the capabilities of a 3 month old, and would suffer from several daily grand mal seizure attacks among other symptoms. Despite the fact that all their children had issues, the couple had yet another child, and out came number 26 (?) sad

I had to quit.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Mcslize: 4:30pm On Nov 17, 2014
It seems OP doesn't know the meaning of Cousin. Your Cousin is your blood relation. It is an abomination to have sexual relationship with your own family blood relation.

In case you do not know who your cousin is, this is it: Your cousin is either your father brother child or your father sister child.in simple term; Cousin is one's Aunt child or one's Uncle child. He or she is your first cousin. Your cousin is also your mother brother child or your mother sister child. Both of you are first Cousin. If that your cousin give birth his or her child is your second cousin. So now tell me why u think is proper for you to date your own mother/father brother or sister child. i.e your own Aunt or Uncle child. If you pay your uncle a visit can you be sleeping with his daughter? Or if you are a female and you pay your own aunty a visit can you be sleeping with your aunty son?

In some culture is a very bad practise that could result to one's death.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by charlsecy(m): 11:58am On May 26, 2018
Benard94:
hmmm...search your bible very well
The Bible listed those you cannot marry or have relations with. Cousin is NOT one of them. It's you who should search properly.

Mcslize:
It seems OP doesn't know the meaning of Cousin. Your Cousin is your blood relation.
When it comes to marriage, the society may have a say as to what degree of closeness that marriage is not allowed.

Many are not aware, but the Bible nowhere condemns marriage between cousins.

if there's no human law that condemns it,read the book of Leviticus 18,,u'll see the level of God's condemnation on this kind of sin called 'INCEST'
Read it yourself and show me the verses that condemn cousin marriage.

Did you know how Sarah was related to Abraham?

"Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife."

Genesis 20:12.

simpleseyi:
Leviticus 18:6–17
Did you notice cousin isn't in the list?

Mescopaul:
For those saying that the Bible, God, does nt condemn it, now answer this: If morals is against something, is it God that will agree to such thing??
Morals may be relative, but GOD isn't.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Kobicove(m): 1:13pm On May 26, 2018
Dating your cousin is incest undecided
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by charlsecy(m): 1:28pm On May 26, 2018
Kobicove:
Dating your cousin is incest undecided
But it is allowed in some climes.
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by sylve11: 3:12pm On Mar 11, 2021
olorunsogo1:

My own Bible does not support cousins marrying to each other either first, second, third etc . It is an abomination. May be the one you wrote by yourself support it sha!


grin grin grin cool
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by sylve11: 5:05pm On Mar 11, 2021
uchennaq:
No website dealing with cousin relationships would be complete without exploring the Christian viewpoint. Christianity is a very large tent. From Appalachian snake handlers to the majestic liturgy of Eastern Orthodoxy, Christian beliefs run the full gamut. In this discussion, we will consider only the biblical history and acceptance of cousin relationships, as opposed to institutional creeds. (For a complete discussion on the Catholic Church, please see our Chat with an Expert page.)

For much of the world's population, the Bible is the final authority on right and wrong. This is true both of devout Christians as well as those who may have some vague, indiscernible root in the Christian faith. Perhaps Christianity was the faith of one's parent or grandparent, and although the individual does not particularly follow the faith, they were ingrained from childhood that God is the ultimate authority, and the Bible is God's instruction book to mankind. Whether one truly believes in the Bible or not, it seems to have become a social standard to attribute one's own assumptions of right from wrong on scripture. Unfortunately, many times the person who claims that something is "a sin against God," or that an individual will "burn in Hell" for his actions or lifestyle have no clear understanding of what Scripture says on the subject. Perhaps even more unfortunate is that many preachers, priests, and theologians have also allowed society to cloud their judgment on the issue, rather than to study what the Bible has to say on the subject for themselves.

A look at Leviticus

The Bible has a great deal to say about cousin marriage, and not once does it say anything negative. To the contrary, all references to cousin marriage in scripture are 100% supportive. Let's look first at how the Bible defines sexual impurity. In Leviticus chapter 18 (KJV), God tells us that we are not to have sexual relations with the following:

any close relative (which you will clearly see does not include cousins)

your mother

your father's wife

your sister, (whole or half) "whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere" (v.9)

your grandchild

the daughter of your father's wife (step-sister)

your father's sister (aunt) "as she is your father's close relative"

your mother's sister (aunt) "as she is your mother's close relative"

your father's brother's wife (aunt)

your son's wife

your brother's wife

with both a woman and her daughter

your wife's sister as a rival wife (to spite your first wife)

during "uncleanness of her monthly period"

with your neighbor's wife

with a member of the same sex; the Bible says "that is detestable"

with an animal; the Bible refers to this as "a perversion"

Those who oppose cousin marriage often use "any close relative" to base their opposition on. Others will say that just because cousins aren't specifically referred to doesn't mean God didn't mean to include them. They insist this list is just a general rule of thumb, not an all-inclusive command. I disagree. Leviticus is a book of law. It is very specific and very definitive. The passage begins with "any close relative", and proceeds to describe all that God defines as near kin, followed by other sexual acts which God forbids. To say that God meant to include cousins is to assume God made a mistake. To say that it is only a general list, you must wonder why God was so very specific that He included beastiality, homosexuality, and sex during a woman's menstrual cycle. Furthermore, the Scripture clearly and unmistakably defines an aunt (a mother's or father's sister) as the parent's close relative, not as one's own.

Historically, the Jews have never considered a cousin to be a "close relative" or too close to marry. In fact, professor Guntry (Westmont College) states that Jews in the 1st century often married cousins. "Cousins on the father's side were most preferred, though not always possible" (p. 35).

Now you may wonder why Leviticus forbids a man to marry his aunt, but not a woman to marry her uncle. Some may use that as proof that God gave only generalities. This is a common misunderstanding; however, God did not forbid uncles and nieces from marriage. Why the double standard?

First let me explain that society changes. Culture changes. God does not change. What was common during Biblical times is not acceptable by today's standards. That being said, let's examine why God would allow a man to marry his niece but would not allow a woman to marry her nephew.

When a woman was left widowed, the men in her husband's family were required to take responsibility of the woman. The deceased husband's nearest kin was commanded to take her as his wife. If she had borne no children to her husband, her firstborn to his relative was to be the legitimate heir to the deceased spouse. However, the nearest kin was also required to have the approval of his first wife before taking on a second. If the first wife was opposed to the marriage, or was related to the widow within the defined prohibitions, then she became the responsibility of the next nearest kin. The brother of the deceased was generally the obvious choice, although a widow's marriage to her father in law was fairly common. Because cousin marriage was allowed by God's law, and was in fact commanded of many individuals throughout scripture, the deceased husband's nearest relative was often the widow's uncle. If neither a brother nor father to the deceased was an option, the next nearest kin appears to have always followed a lateral or ascending direction. In no instance did a widow become the marital responsibility of her late husband's son, or his brother's son.

I will briefly list some of the individuals commanded or otherwise instructed in scripture to marry a cousin. For further information on these individuals and the circumstances, you may choose to read the scriptural passages associated with each. More detailed information will be included in the forthcoming book, which will be made available on this website upon completion.

Biblical Cousin Marriages

Each of the following individuals in scripture were in the lineage of Mary, Christ's mother, or Joseph, his "earthly" father, who were chosen by God to raise His son. Most, if not all, occurred (chronologically) after the time in which Levitican law was written. Zelophehad's daughters did as the LORD commanded Moses. Zelophehad's daughters, Mahlah, Tirzah, Hoglah, Milcah and Noah, married their cousins on their father's side (Numbers 36:1-11).

Milcah was married to her cousin, Nahor. They had a grand daughter named Rebekkah. In Genesis 24:48-51, the story unfolds of how, against all odds, God's direction for her to marry her cousin's son Isaac (first cousin once removed) is made crystal clear.

Isaac and Rebekkah had two son's. Jacob was the son whom was blessed to fulfill God's prophecy that the descendant's of Abraham (Jacob's grandfather, Isaac's father) would become a great nation. Isaac instructed Jacob to marry a daughter of Rebekkah's brother. Although he immediately fell in love and became engaged to his cousin Rachel, his uncle tricked him into first marrying Rachel's sister Leah. Although God blessed Jacob greatly, Jacob suffered much grief and heartache for having married both sisters. Jacob's descendants became what is now known as the twelve tribes of Israel. (Genesis chapters 19 and 29)

In I Chronicles 23:22, Eleazar's daughters married their first cousins. Very little detail is given of this event.
Conclusion


Biblical prohibitions of cousin marriage reside only in the minds of the unlearned. We can find many instances of where God had blessed cousin marriage. In fact, the New Advent encyclopedia finds that Christ's parents -- Joseph & Mary-- were first cousins. Protestants come to the same conclusion. Do I believe that Joseph and Mary were first cousins? It's likely, but I do not need this to validate my relationship. It will be fun to tease Joseph and Mary a bit when I get up there.



some people are fixated on the fallacy that cousin couples pose an intolerable risk to their offspring. However it is likely that we are all descendants of cousin marriages. Before civil laws banning cousin marriages, it was preferable to marry a cousin in some communities as it is to this day in many countries. The notion "why marry a stranger" is just as prevalent in many countries as the cousin marriage taboo in America today. There are a wide range of opinions on the subject of cousin marriages. This is fuelled by erroneous information, bigotry, and presumptions. Further we have civil laws and religious creeds based on obsolete information.

The facts about cousin marriages are much clearer.

Fears of cousins who marry having children with birth defects are exaggerated. Simply marrying within your own race increases the odds of birth defects. Marrying within your own town further increases your chances. Cousin couples have only a slightly higher incidence of birth defects than non-related couples.


26 states allow first cousin marriages; most people can marry their cousin in the US.
US prohibitions against cousin marriages predate modern genetics.
No European country prohibits marriage between first cousins. It is also legal throughout Canada and Mexico to marry your cousin. The U.S. is the only western country with cousin marriage restrictions.
Children of non-related couples have a 2-3% risk of birth defects, as opposed to first cousins having a 4-6% risk. Genetic counseling is available for those couples that may be at a special risk for birth defects (e.g. You have a defect that runs in your family) In plain terms first cousins have at a 94 percent + chance of having healthy children. Check the links section for more information on genetic counselors. The National Society of Genetic Counselors estimated the increased risk for first cousins is between 1.7 to 2.8 percent, or about the same a any woman over 40 years of age. Source: external link
Second cousins have little, if any increased chance of having children with birth defects, per the book "Clinical Genetics Handbook"

The frequency of cousin marriages in the USA is about 1 in 1,000. The frequency of cousin marriages in Japan is about 4 in 1,000
It is estimated that 20 percent of all couples worldwide are first cousins. It is also estimated that 80 percent of all marriages historically have been between first cousins!
In some cultures, the term cousin and mate are synonymous.
Albert Einstein married his first cousin. And so did Charles Darwin, who had exceptional children.
Franklin D. Roosevelt, the longest serving US president in history married his cousin (not a first cousin, however they shared the same last name).
Leviticus 18 lists all forbidden sexual relationships. Cousin relationships are not included.
God commanded many cousins to marry, including Zelophehad's 5 daughters, Eleazar's daughters, Jacob (who married both Rachel and Leah, first cousins), and Isaac and Rebekkah (first cousins once removed)
It is likely that Joseph and Mary -- Christ's earthly parents were first cousins.
Current studies indicate that cousin couples have a lower ratio of miscarriages -- perhaps because body chemistry of cousins is more similar. The verdict is still out.


We are all cousins. No two people are more distantly related than 50th cousins.


seems you have been marking your cousin sisters..... grin cool
Re: Dating Your Cousin: Is It Ethical? by Benard94(m): 9:00am On Dec 17, 2023
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Pls this is for serious ones only.
Thanks

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