McDoe:

There is nothing like elope. All righteousness must be fulfilled.

Elope!!!

Traditional marriage is the only one we knew and practised over the ages, it is still the most cogent type, most guys will prefare to do both, which is an avenue to waste money. If its down to choice, I will go with trad marriage.

It will be abnormal to do white wedding and leave trad wedding in Nigeria. Your folks will never see you as married, their consent wasnt sought. They cannot go with you to the church until trad side is fulfilled.

Can you pay the bride price of your wife in the church or registry? We just adopted the white mans culture because it seemed 'hip' at the time, and trust Nigerians and our copy copy life, it later became an issue that if you want to skip church marriage, people will think you are poor. So everybody bought the lie, even when it was not written in the bible that white wedding is compulsury. Some girls still insist if you wont do white wedding, then cancel the marriage. We should love our tradition (especially the good aspects of it) if you choose to add white wedding, it should be your choice, not compulsury.

guy, abeg traditional marriage dey important no matter how, make una ancestors no vex 4 u. no mind those wey no support am, dey don settle theirs one way or the other.

Men who eloped with women and did not pay the bride price and dowry always do not show respect to those women.
Men who were brave enough to honour traditional marriages always shows respect to their wives. Most brake-ups in marriages comes from those angles that neglected traditional marriages.
Traditional marriages may be expensive in IGBOLAND (not Iboland), but is nothing when compared to what parents spend in raising up their daughters.
But do not worry, you can pay in instalments incase you are not hardworking.

My mother is Igbo and my dad paid no bride price. None of my cousin's husbands were asked to bring anything by by uncles and aunties.

Andre Uweh:


Traditional marriages may be expensive in IGBOLAND (not Iboland),

Even tho some communities like to give out that kind of impression, it is not generally true. Just as a white wedding, U can always organise your traditional wedding within a budget and most importantly within your means. Most of these cases where trad . weddings are percieved as expensive, look very well, there is always a case of exploitation on the side of the girl's family and most boils downs to demands of the EXTENDED family. A house hold where the father is still very much alive and kicking (and also not greedy) will not allow a would be in-law to pay thru the nose all in the name of dowry, tradition or no tradition.

And also dont forget some guys like to show off, some girls would also want thier weddings to be a show piece. All these contribute to the huge expenses incurred during such period.

Finally, before I get married to anyone from any community, I would be aware of the MINIMAL amount of stuff/presents that are required by tradition for me to bring and thats exactly what I will bring , no more no less.

Sometimes the tradition is there for a reason albeit not literally. . . bridal price is essential

chika98:

Sometimes the tradition is there for a reason albeit not literally. . . bridal price is essential

presido1:

Oga kedu?

Outstrip:

My mother is Igbo and my dad paid no bride price. None of my cousin's husbands were asked to bring anything by by uncles and aunties.

When you marry an Igbo lady, you are not only marrying the girl but the entire kindred. The dowry is being shared by kindred members. With due respect to you. In the case of your grand parents, they will not partake in the sharing of other peoples dowry because of your dad's attitude of not honouring this age-long tradition. I am sure this shameful act will be the scandal of that period.

Presido: I dey like I no dey. Yeah it has been long

Andre Uweh:

When you marry an Igbo lady, you are not only marrying the girl but the entire kindred. The dowry is being shared by kindred members. With due respect to you. In the case of your grand parents, they will not partake in the sharing of other peoples dowry because of your dad's attitude of not honouring this age-long tradition. I am sure this shameful act will be the scandal of that period.

What the hell are you talking about. My grand father asked for nothing. Is it his children he will use to get rich. Why does anything have to be shared? My grandpa wanted it that way and that is how it was. You are free to do it any way you like in your family. I am telling you how it is on my mother's side of the family.

I guess poster's grouse is that traditional wedding in igboland is a money-suckling scheme ?

Has this been confirmed?

There are two different things involved in Igbo trad. marriage. One is the fixed price which your father may forgo but believe me, the issue of dowry belongs to umunna (kindred). In this case, your father or grandfather has no control over it. Probably, among the non-diala's, you know the group I mean. They may not share the dowry with their kindred.
To sum it up, no where in Igboland that fathers refuse dowry of their daughters. It is unheard of.

As much as i would love to say the dude is whinning, he is damn right.
Tradition has to go and chill and stop all the waste of money.

I will like this question, will the parents of those ladies train them and take care of them, if they are not sure that one day someone will come and marry the babe and they will make so much money on her head?

Are the parents doing their duty as Mama and Papa while they were caring for the girls, or were they investing into where they can make money in the future?

I think the guy is right, even if they wont scrap it, let them make the demands reasonable.
Or dem no dey feel recession?

People are quick to justify things as tradition. When exactly did the so-called tradition start and how reasonable is this so-called tradition in modern context/palance. What is the most impotant thing in a marriage? Clue! It has little to do with the wedding ceremony or money.

Nigeria will never change or progress with so-called tradition being used to justify bad things. Bride money - what is that about? It should be a token just to maintain the tradition, The days when a whole village raises a cild has long gone - even so, they are doing their duty as parent or loco parentis; it is not for reward.
This is a discussion point. The poster does not say he will go through the same but feels sorry for his brother.

For the Yorubas (that I know) given out fancy gifts during wedding and funerals and other events. This is in fact no our tradition but an import from the celebrity culture in the west where you get goody bags for going to special events. The sorts of things given ranges from very tacky to very expensive these days - so unnecessary show off. And some cant even afford it!

Is Spraying money also a tradition? Given that we did not have paper currency until the Oyinbos came. The Jews do similar but they leave envelopes not vulgarly throw money around. Aarrghh!!!

chris_j:

People are quick to justify things as tradition. When exactly did the so-called tradition start and how reasonable is this so-called tradition in modern context/palance. What is the most impotant thing in a marriage? Clue! It has little to do with the wedding ceremony or money.

Nigeria will never change or progress with so-called tradition being used to justify bad things. Bride money - what is that about? It should be a token just to maintain the tradition, The days when a whole village raises a cild has long gone - even so, they are doing their duty as parent or loco parentis; it is not for reward.
This is a discussion point. The poster does not say he will go through the same but feels sorry for his brother.

For the Yorubas (that I know) given out fancy gifts during wedding and funerals and other events. This is in fact no our tradition but an import from the celebrity culture in the west where you get goody bags for going to special events. The sorts of things given ranges from very tacky to very expensive these days - so unnecessary show off. And some cant even afford it!

Is Spraying money also a tradition? Given that we did not have paper currency until the Oyinbos came. The Jews do similar but they leave envelopes not vulgarly throw money around. Aarrghh!!!

I agree with you on that part.
If they can afford it, fine, but some people getting loan to do this, is dumb and stupid, the tradition will not help them to pay the money back, pple needs to cut their coats according to their material and not even according to your size anymore.

No it is not

Kunbee:

No it is not

Tell us why, justify your answer, i beg

I just like it

what do u like about it, you like the fact that the man has to bring stuff to you house and you all have fun.
You like the fact that the man has to prostrate for everyone.
You like the fact that the man is buying you from your parents?
What do you like about it?

You are too inquisitive

Fhemmmy:

what do u like about it, you like the fact that the man has to bring stuff to you house and you all have fun.
You like the fact that the man has to prostrate for everyone.
You like the fact that the man is buying you from your parents?
What do you like about it?

Yes
Yes
No my parents return the money

Dont worry, the number of times he prostrates, is the number of times, you will have to say sorry.
Return of the money is good, i can use the money to buy palmy for the boyzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Owa lara e