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Applying for Nigerian Visa. - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Applying for Nigerian Visa. by Dojo(m): 11:43am On Aug 22, 2006
[center] Nigerian Citizenship[/center]
> >
> >
> >
> >You have been away from our beloved Nigeria for some time, hence you might
> >have actually lost any entitlement to call yourself Nigerian let alone
> >carry the coveted GREEN Passport.
> >
> >
> >
> >Please answer the questions below to see if you still qualify, compute your
> >scores and let me know what you get.
> >
> >
> >
> > Nigerian Citizenship test.
> >
> >
> >
> > 1. If the sum of £700,000 was erroneously credited to your current
> >
> > account would you?
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Contact the bank and let them know of their mistake
> >
> > b. Acts as if nothing has happened and wait it out with the hope that
> >
> > they do not realise, then start spending.
> >
> > c. Open a Swiss account, transfer the money into it then emigrate to a
> >
> > country where your bank could not trace you i.e. Nigeria
> >
> >
> >
> > 2. What does the sight of a person in a flowing white garment conjure
> > to you
> >
> >
> >
> > a. A ghost
> >
> > b. A Ku Klux Klan member
> >
> > c. A member of a reputable spiritual church
> >
> >
> >
> > 3. If you have good credit do you have
> >
> >
> >
> > a. 1 Credit Card
> >
> > b. 2 Credit Cards
> >
> > c. More than 3
> >
> >
> >
> > 4. If someone died and left you a 1846 antique Rolex of un-estimable
> > value, would you
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Get it valued and Sell it.
> >
> > b. Donate it to the National Maritime museum so the world can view
> > this piece of art
> >
> > c. Wear it
> >
> >
> >
> > 5. Someone brushes past you and hits you in the process, do you
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Grab you wallet to check if it is still there
> >
> > b. Grab your private part or parts to see if they are still there.
> >
> > c. Apologise and expect them to do the same.
> >
> >
> >
> > 6 If you are in the room with three Colleagues, you feel like
> > farting, do you
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Try and let it out silently and if it smells, deny that it was you.
> >
> > b. Let it out without caring after all everybody farts
> >
> > c. Let it out silently but apologise to everybody (even though they
> >
> > were not aware in the first place)
> >
> >
> >
> > 7. You see an add in a paper for your dream job, but they require one
> >
> > years more experience than you actually have, do you
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Not bother applying for the job
> >
> > b. Apply but tell the truth about amount of experience you have.
> >
> > c. Apply, add the one year to your CV and add two years experience.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 8 You meet a member of the opposite sex you fancy and fancies you but
> > you find out that they are a multimillionaire from embezzling public funds in their
country, do you
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Feel disgusted and turned off because you think they are corrupt and lack integrity
> >
> > b. Get closer because it does not affect the way you feel about them.
> >
> > c. Become more interested in them and make getting closer to them a do or die ]
affair.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 9 You buy a pay as U Go phone and before crediting it you find that
> >you can make unlimited and unrestricted calls world wide, do you
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Notify the supplier of your problem
> >
> > b. Use it until they bar the phone
> >
> > c. Use it and call your friends to use it until they bar it
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > 10. You have a job in an okay career but you will need steady
> >
> > career progression to get a really good salary, however your
> >friends are getting high paid salaries in a totally unrelated field to
> >yours do you.
> >
> >
> >
> > a. Feel happy for them
> >
> > b. Find out the details, and get into the field
> >
> > c. Find out the details, get into it and tell everyone you know to get
> >into it, until supply exceeds demand and there is no money in it anymore.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Please score yourself the following for each question
> >
> >
> >
> >|-------+-------+-------+-------+-------+-------+-------+-------+-------+---
> >
> > 1. A10 B20 C50
2. A10 B10 C20
3. A10 B10 C20
4. A20 B10 C50
5. A20 B20 C10
6. A20 B10 C10
7. A10 B10 C20
8. A10 B20 C50
9. A10 B20 C50
10. A10 B20 C50
> >
> >
> > If you scored less than 110 APPLICATION DENIED
> >
> > Please apply for British Citizenship, you are not worthy to hold a Green
> >passport
> >
> >
> >
> > 110 - 200 Further Cultural Adaptation Necessary. It is obvious that
> >
> > you have strong ties with Nigeria however you need some more work done,
> >we
> >
> > will give you a 3-year residency, and assess you after that or you can
> >apply for political refugee .
> >
> >
> >
> > 210 - 300 APPLICATION ACCEPTED
> >
> > Nigeria We Hail thee you are truly one of us
> >
> >
> >
> > 301- 350 APPLICATION GLADLY ACCEPTED
> >
> > Please also try applying for government position or go into Nigerian
> >Politics or join the OPC.
> >
> >
> >
> > 350+ APPLICATION DENIED
> >
> > You are a threat to Nigeria, Please apply for
> >Indian/Pakistan/Irag/Somalia/Afghanistan or Lebanese Citizenship, you will
> >surely qualify or u can apply to Bin Laden himself. Thanks and don't
> >come back again.
> >
> >
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by iice(f): 12:14pm On Aug 22, 2006
Funny, i just calculated it the way i thot it shud be coz your instructions on the calculating is a bit unclear, however from my scorces, am truly a nigerian and am accepted lol (I get my green passport o tongue)
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by Dojo(m): 12:41pm On Aug 22, 2006
@Iice
The scoring has been edited. Try it again and score yourself accordingly. cheesy
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by aloib(f): 12:48pm On Aug 22, 2006
hahaha i qualified for british passport, lmao

sis how far, sorry bout yest, na disconection o, till night
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by iice(f): 12:48pm On Aug 22, 2006
Well i guess i did calculate it correctly lol, went over scores and they tally to the new system, yep am a certified nigerian LOL
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by iice(f): 12:50pm On Aug 22, 2006
LMAO sis, no problem, i figured that was the problem. . .get another fight with that your broda lol tongue tongue
LOL@British passport grin grin
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by aloib(f): 1:34pm On Aug 22, 2006
sis o, wat happened again,
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by iice(f): 1:42pm On Aug 22, 2006
Nnahhh i go gist you for yim, i dey come, kain muna ako, gutom!! hehehe tuna nlng ulam LOL
@Dojo, sorry we went offtopic, but we leaving now grin
Re: Applying for Nigerian Visa. by ddizzle(f): 7:30pm On Aug 22, 2006
lol im nigerian the core lol ma passport is GREEN

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