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Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Ama80(f): 10:33pm On Feb 16, 2015
donpeey22:
Lolzz. Things might take a turn she never envisaged. What if in the process the two start getting attracted to each other and along the line something happens?
dats y I suggested her relation to avoid konji

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Misblah(f): 4:51am On Feb 17, 2015
soulglo:
[i][/i]
Didn't know Flora Nwapa was a feminist. My mom bought me Efuru. I think I was about 14 years old then. Looking back now it does make sense. Very strong women in Efuru. In fact I'm going on Amazon to see if I can get that book. I probably read it like a million times
yea she is.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Onegai(f): 8:49am On Feb 17, 2015
Everyone should stop judging her. Have you never felt so angry and hurt you wanted to kill the person causing it or hoped the person will die? Stop forming holy. I know I have.

OP, calm down. Far too many men are not trained in responsibility and they don't have good father figures, so they get married and see it as a punishment. A decent man will see it as a blessing (he now has stability which he can go forth and be great on, but not our regular Naija guy). Your husband is acting like a typical Naija guy. You can't fix that.

What you need to do is make a plan. I swear, I showed mine my 3 step plan of how I would survive without him. Not because I hated him but because I wanted him to see calmly I was making rational decisions (heck I even made space for where he could come in and take care of our kid).

Write your plan down, it will help you focus.

Step 1: do as Mutter suggested. No harm in trying to fix things, also, it gets you to one year of marriage by doing it for 2 months.

Step 2: invest in yourself, have a plan, if you leave what next, you need to know where you're going, how you will survive, how you will draw on your internal strenght to cope with crazy judgemental Nigerians who cannot mind their own business. You need to look at your finances, your emotional health, your physical wellbeing. Thoughts such as "where will I carry all my stuff to if I leave" should be be answered. And yes, there is an answer to it. You need to take back control of your life.

Step 3: it sounds like you're not quite close to your in-laws. Speak to them concerning this matter. When I was calling off my own, I first attempted to call his mum (who wisely could feel the anger in my calm text and decided to not reply me at that point till I calmed down). I didn't tell my own mum (because my mama would have quickly rescued me, she has seen the hells of marriage). I still wanted to fix things. So reach out to your in-laws if you still want to do so.

Go get a notebook, start writing your plans down. Ignore him. You cannot bring a cheating man home, you cannot make an irresponsible man wake up. Until parents start bringing up their sons to appreciate the coming responsibility of marriage and not as a cage. And you his wife as a jailer. And stories like yours will keep playing out.

A lot of guys see marriage as "my life is overrrrrr! Wahhhhhhh!!!" Like children. So they start acting to feel free (like chasing chicks, staying out late, spending on frivolous things etc) kinda like a single man (when they're not). They need to realise and accept Life isn't over but has grown into something better. You can help him with the process but you cannot force him to accept it. All that malice he keeps when you confront him, sweetie that's guilt. Don't take it personally. You're not calm and rational, I need you to be. First sort yourself out before you sort out anyone. And pray for strength and guidance, but all these people asking God to turn his heart, remember the Lord gave each person free will to decide whether or not to serve and worship him, so why would he take that free will away because of you? Unless it's in God's plan, she should use these trials to build a better relationship with God and not hurt her knees trying to pray away another human's faults.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by bellong: 8:49am On Feb 17, 2015
fuzzywuzzy:

Men are just empty headed zombies when it comes to sex, no need for any long explanation.
Rich or poor they are the same.
Fools with no self control.

How old are you?


soulglo:

Yes diaries God grin not a few posts. Most of guys in this section anyway. Even the ones who seem educated

I guess you forgot your statistics. How many people are on NL compared to millions of men out there?

how long will you folks keep repeating this stale "Negative vibes about Nigerian men"?

Is it restricted to Nigerian men? Quit the unhealthy generalization and speak only about the negative men you have met.

Some ladies have different opinion to yours because they've only met good Nigerian Men

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by FredHandsome(m): 8:59am On Feb 17, 2015
P
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Minyang(f): 9:11am On Feb 17, 2015
Don't kill your husband o. U made the choice there is no going back.
My advice:- say a word of prayer for him every day. Ask God to touch his heart and make him the kind of man God wants him to be.
- Evaluate yourself, ur attitude, utterances and expressions what are they saying about u. Look inwards and check for the things u are not doing right. Try work on these deficiencies once identified.
- Refrain from talking to people about ur marriage. Speak to God directly.
- work on it appearance, do a lot of working out and look good.
- Read books on how to better ur marriage.

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Feraz(m): 9:53am On Feb 17, 2015
bellong:


How old are you?




I guess you forgot your statistics. How many people are on NL compared to millions of men out there?

how long will you folks keep repeating this stale "Negative vibes about Nigerian men"?

Is it restricted to Nigerian men? Quit the unhealthy generalization and speak only about the negative men you have met.

Some ladies have different opinion to yours because they've only met good Nigerian Men

1 Like

Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by bukatyne(f): 12:54pm On Feb 17, 2015
Tallesty1:
Nobody reveals his/her real color during courtship.


Exam malpractice dey for marriage too............

@ bold:

Interesting

Courtship means different things to different people
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by pickabeau1: 1:41pm On Feb 17, 2015
so misandrists still abound in this section

ow Kay
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by baralatie(m): 9:37pm On Feb 17, 2015
Tallesty1:
Nobody reveals his/her real color during courtship.


Exam malpractice dey for marriage too............
sorry but every sign of infidelity ,tendency for domestic. violence are always there for one to see during courtship intending always take it as not existing until it becomes obvious.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Nobody: 9:57pm On Feb 17, 2015
Ama80:
dats y I suggested her relation to avoid konji
Even with her relation, something can still happen. U know say konji na bastard.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by ziinee: 2:39am On Jan 14, 2017
[One u need to be very sure if he was dating them before you married him.second, second some people fall for extra marital affair solely because the home is problematic.They become a cheap prey to any interested opposite sex who seems to be more reasonable or attentive takiing solace in that.of course sex would come in.You feel like killing him.You need to be aware of the kind of person that you are and make amenent.Call him and let him honestly tell you what your attitude is like to him.Make noticeable amendment.If he still continues , it is better to find another solution instead of becoming a murderer to an aldulterer.quote author=Omamibaby post=30748380]Please help me, our marriage is less than a year but my husband is driving me crazy, i feel like killing him. There was a point i wished that something to happen to him so i can rest and have peace
of mind.
My husband has so many female friends and which he claims there is nothing between them yet they keep calling him at odd hours.
He comes back to the house very late.
Before we got married he always takes me along but now I live like a woman with no husband. The most painful part of everything
is that my husband was nobody when I met him. I stood by him, we work hard together
when things were tough while we were dating. Now he has gotten a good job, all he do is to go to the bar, call girls (long call), come back late. Now he deletes every
message in his phone. Recently, He forgot to delete one of the
message he sent to a girl which he told her that he misses her and still loves her. When I met and confronted him, he didn’t say
anything rather he started keeping malice with me for days.
What I don’t understand about the whole situation is that he makes it seem I’m the bad
person, he always say “did I marry him or his phone, that he saw other girls before he got
married to me?” What bothers me is that, if a man has nothing to hide, while will he gets
angry when the wife touch his phone.
I’m so unhappy and I’m scared of walking out because his people have this bad notion
about yoruba women that they don’t stay in their husband’s house and our marriage is
just 10 months old. I’m fed up and tempted to poison him.
[/quote]
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by sisisioge: 7:01am On Jan 14, 2017
Whew! How far? Guy don adjust or he has died mysteriously? It is well.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by YesNo(m): 12:43pm On Jan 14, 2017
Omamibaby:
Please help me, our marriage is less than a year but my husband is driving me crazy, i feel like killing him. There was a point i wished that something to happen to him so i can rest and have peace
of mind.
My husband has so many female friends and which he claims there is nothing between them yet they keep calling him at odd hours.
He comes back to the house very late.
Before we got married he always takes me along but now I live like a woman with no husband. The most painful part of everything
is that my husband was nobody when I met him. I stood by him, we work hard together
when things were tough while we were dating. Now he has gotten a good job, all he do is to go to the bar, call girls (long call), come back late. Now he deletes every
message in his phone. Recently, He forgot to delete one of the
message he sent to a girl which he told her that he misses her and still loves her. When I met and confronted him, he didn’t say
anything rather he started keeping malice with me for days.
What I don’t understand about the whole situation is that he makes it seem I’m the bad
person, he always say “did I marry him or his phone, that he saw other girls before he got
married to me?” What bothers me is that, if a man has nothing to hide, while will he gets
angry when the wife touch his phone.
I’m so unhappy and I’m scared of walking out because his people have this bad notion
about yoruba women that they don’t stay in their husband’s house and our marriage is
just 10 months old. I’m fed up and tempted to poison him.

you are tempted to poison him. you are saying it so easily like someone who has done such a thing before.

you have a randy husband and you think the EASY WAY OUT is for you to kill him because you feel every other woman got married to Angel Michael.

you mentioned your murderous intent over and over and we now have evidence against you in the event that your husband dies.

please don't forget to eat the dead body when you kill him.

2 Likes

Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by YesNo(m): 12:46pm On Jan 14, 2017
sisisioge:
Whew! How far? Guy don adjust or he has died mysteriously? It is well.

hahahahaaaaa... Mysteriously... thats the word.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by eyinjuege: 1:10pm On Jan 14, 2017
If you kill him, you will also be killed.

Better be a divorcee than a murderer.

How can you even think of killing someone else's child?

Is he open to marriage counselling? You guys can try that.
If you're so unhappy, and can't stand his ways, please pack your load and leave the house.

Whatever anyone decides to say, its their business.

Its your life and you're the one living it.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Timelezz: 1:33pm On Jan 14, 2017
Omamibaby:
Please help me, our marriage is less than a year but my husband is driving me crazy, i feel like killing him. There was a point i wished that something to happen to him so i can rest and have peace
of mind.
My husband has so many female friends and which he claims there is nothing between them yet they keep calling him at odd hours.
He comes back to the house very late.
Before we got married he always takes me along but now I live like a woman with no husband. The most painful part of everything
is that my husband was nobody when I met him. I stood by him, we work hard together
when things were tough while we were dating. Now he has gotten a good job, all he do is to go to the bar, call girls (long call), come back late. Now he deletes every
message in his phone. Recently, He forgot to delete one of the
message he sent to a girl which he told her that he misses her and still loves her. When I met and confronted him, he didn’t say
anything rather he started keeping malice with me for days.
What I don’t understand about the whole situation is that he makes it seem I’m the bad
person, he always say “did I marry him or his phone, that he saw other girls before he got
married to me?” What bothers me is that, if a man has nothing to hide, while will he gets
angry when the wife touch his phone.
I’m so unhappy and I’m scared of walking out because his people have this bad notion
about yoruba women that they don’t stay in their husband’s house and our marriage is
just 10 months old. I’m fed up and tempted to poison him.
Seems your insecurity is brewing over. Why are you all up on his phone snooping and searching?

Pull yourself together and be the woman of the house and not a snoop dog. You're ruining your attractiveness and chances by being a nagging and game-less wife.

Get down to work
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by obowunmi(m): 3:06pm On Jan 14, 2017
Omamibaby:
Please help me, our marriage is less than a year but my husband is driving me crazy, i feel like killing him. There was a point i wished that something to happen to him so i can rest and have peace
of mind.
My husband has so many female friends and which he claims there is nothing between them yet they keep calling him at odd hours.
He comes back to the house very late.
Before we got married he always takes me along but now I live like a woman with no husband. The most painful part of everything
is that my husband was nobody when I met him. I stood by him, we work hard together
when things were tough while we were dating. Now he has gotten a good job, all he do is to go to the bar, call girls (long call), come back late. Now he deletes every
message in his phone. Recently, He forgot to delete one of the
message he sent to a girl which he told her that he misses her and still loves her. When I met and confronted him, he didn’t say
anything rather he started keeping malice with me for days.
What I don’t understand about the whole situation is that he makes it seem I’m the bad
person, he always say “did I marry him or his phone, that he saw other girls before he got
married to me?” What bothers me is that, if a man has nothing to hide, while will he gets
angry when the wife touch his phone.
I’m so unhappy and I’m scared of walking out because his people have this bad notion
about yoruba women that they don’t stay in their husband’s house and our marriage is
just 10 months old. I’m fed up and tempted to poison him.

KILL Him
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by grandlexuz(m): 8:04pm On Jan 14, 2017
n
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Elmojiid(m): 8:05pm On Jan 14, 2017
woman have u checked yourslf you might even be the reasoning of his cheating, saying is nobody b4 he met you is a crap so u are nw saying u make him who he is today....from what u write i tink u are stubborn, work on urslf 1st call him to order let him kwn he is hurting u...
GOD will see u tru.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Nobody: 3:10pm On Jan 15, 2017
See Igbo men doing Shakara for Yoruba woman. Her first thought is to poison her husband of 10 months. grin
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Nobody: 3:20pm On Jan 15, 2017
FortuneTeller:
See Igbo men doing Shakara for Yoruba woman. Her first thought is to poison her husband of 10 months. grin

Hmmm this your name, Na wa! Are you a spiritualist or something ? undecided
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Nobody: 3:24pm On Jan 15, 2017
truthsayer007:


Hmmm this your name, Na wa! Are you a spiritualist or something ? undecided

Deposit 500,000 into my account and will tell you if the op will poison her husband. grin
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by wakes: 6:33pm On Jan 15, 2017
You know to kill is worse than the infedility.
So do not pay evil for evil.
I advise you look for a FILM TITLES "WAR ROOM" and watch.
Kindy heed my advice and you will be happy you did.
I wish you well.
Blessings!
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by Bibors(m): 2:00am On Jan 16, 2017
I am perplexed that people are advising/ begging you not to kill your husband first then provide you you solutions like pray etc. Truth be told you have serious personality disorder and you need to know and seek psychiatric solution before you start competing with other folks who got the same disorder in committing crimes of passion. While I understand your frustrations, we can only see this situation from your perspective for now as we don't know what's in your husband's mind . Look inwards you may well be the architect of your own problem. LOOK INWARDS.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by shaneroberts26: 3:59pm On Jan 16, 2017
Op,you don kill am?
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by chelsea4su(f): 6:45am On Jan 19, 2017
Aunty can I ask u a question, (Do you av a good job) y pestering your husband movement and his personal life,pls focus on your job and kids.
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by efficiencie(m): 10:18pm On Sep 27, 2017
Dont poison him ohh...police no go hear yur justification.

Be careful with sex with him...he cld pass STDs to you!

At this juncture involve elderly people, involve your pastor, involve your those of proven integrity that yu kno.

Make yourself relevant still...keep being a wife.


These recommendations are easier said...may God help yu...

i hate cheating partners!
Re: Please I Need Your Advice I Feel Like Killing My Husband by kidsam: 10:50pm On Sep 27, 2017
Omamibaby:
Please help me, our marriage is less than a year but my husband is driving me crazy, i feel like killing him. There was a point i wished that something to happen to him so i can rest and have peace
of mind.
My husband has so many female friends and which he claims there is nothing between them yet they keep calling him at odd hours.
He comes back to the house very late.
Before we got married he always takes me along but now I live like a woman with no husband. The most painful part of everything
is that my husband was nobody when I met him. I stood by him, we work hard together
when things were tough while we were dating. Now he has gotten a good job, all he do is to go to the bar, call girls (long call), come back late. Now he deletes every
message in his phone. Recently, He forgot to delete one of the
message he sent to a girl which he told her that he misses her and still loves her. When I met and confronted him, he didn’t say
anything rather he started keeping malice with me for days.
What I don’t understand about the whole situation is that he makes it seem I’m the bad
person, he always say “did I marry him or his phone, that he saw other girls before he got
married to me?” What bothers me is that, if a man has nothing to hide, while will he gets
angry when the wife touch his phone.
I’m so unhappy and I’m scared of walking out because his people have this bad notion
about yoruba women that they don’t stay in their husband’s house and our marriage is
just 10 months old. I’m fed up and tempted to poison him.

Whenever i read stories like this i shake my head, how come you suddenly want to turn into a murderer because you think your husband is cheating or because he is cheating. Its so sad that you think ur survival depends on your husband being faithful to you.
You are just an insecure woman, naïve and paranoid psychopath.
If you are convinced your hubby is cheating and you can't take it anymore, just leave and do not turn to a murderer. Your life is not all about a faithful husband. Put your life to good and productive use.

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