chaircover:


By all means ask him
You should be able to aproach your partner without fear

Its one of 2 things; either its his or not
Does he live alone?
Has he ever cheated/given you reason not to trust him before this?

The reality is that even if it was his, its not likely that he will come out and own up straight away, so you need to bear that in mind and be wise.

I dont want to say much becasue we dont know for certain that it is his, since you havent asked him and I dont know his living arrangements.
Ask him first and take things from there.

In the meantime I am shocked at some of the things I am reading here. No wonder so many marriages are in tatters and STD's sre so rampan

STD is rampant?
how did you know
Please make sure she kick the dude ass
Likely the next dude might be wrong

walearoy:


Reason why I follow &stalk you!
Well said

cococandy:


What does being a man mean?
Inability to control oneself?
Sleeping around like a dog?

When a man insults himself, He shouldn't be offended when others insult him by repeating his own words back to him.

You're talking as yourself. Not talking as a man Since all men don't share the same perspective as you.

Sorry 90% men are dogs
98% of women are secretive and cheating on the DL
Please insult all men in your life
Patient and logic win the day
Go with your hot head

sweetcocoa:
This has nothing to do with ITK, I grew up watching and listening to my mum/some aunts, none of which think they way most you on this thread do, this is about loving and respecting yourself and also demand that a man treats you that way, No one can advice me to accept cheating and not regret it, learn to love yourself please, that way, nobody will treat you like a lesser being.

you jos made a point nw.. Wen givin advise u do it wit humility nt lik as if u r infallible.... Woorefa... Nice chatin wit u bittercocoa i mean sweeriecocoa

InZA:


Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.

I luv dis comment,well said.pls r u by any chance single Mr Inza

Ladybluecash:
you jos made a point nw.. Wen givin advise u do it wit humility nt lik as if u r infallible.... Woorefa... Nice chatin wit u bittercocoa i mean sweeriecocoa

Appearing infallible was never my intent, however, I do hope you work towards not believing that all men cheat, because not all do, we as women deserve better.

Peace.

sweetcocoa:
Appearing infallible was never my intent, however, I do hope you work towards not believing that all men cheat, because not all do, we as women deserve better.

Peace.

Only the broke men and the men their wives kick their ass
90% of we men cheat form Africa men to white to Indian men
Just my personal experience
If the opportunity present itself sorry oh

InZA:


Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.

I have a story for you
Their was a woman that work in a laboratory for a government
She took her husband boxer briefs to the laboratory for analyst
Issue came up
guess what the woman lose her job
today she don't have a job or a husband

GoodFaith:

Sorry 90% men are dogs
98% of women are secretive and cheating on the DL
Please insult all men in your life
Patient and logic win the day
Go with your hot head

With all these figures u people are sharing. ...
hmmm

GoodFaith:

I have a story for you
Their was a woman that work in a laboratory for a government
She took her husband boxer briefs to the laboratory for analyst
Issue came up
guess what the woman lose her job
today she don't have a job or a husband

And your cogent point is?

onyichick:
I luv dis comment,well said. pls r u by any chance single Mr Inza

Errrrrrm.....The last time I checked I am Any business proposal attached to that question?

chidyhels:

With all these figures u people are sharing. ...
hmmm

I don't get it

InZA:


And your cogent point is?

the lady took the boxer for analyst to the laboratory because
she said her husband was cheating
she want to catch a cheating husband
Today no husband and no Job
Cheating is a big issue-- you can make the man small and respect you the way you handle it
or make a fool of yourself
1 to 10 rating for for men
you have a man that have 8/10
what will you do?

foliks:
K


Letting go of a 2yrs relationship is better than a broken marriage

Noted!

Jackeeh:
hmmmmmmm reading through comments uploaded before mine I can't help but wonder: everyone now feel cheating is cool. Men are polygamous in nature, condoms might be used for other reasons( like fetching water), quit snooping around,we are mortals, it must have been used by his friend, don't get him angry when confronting him etc. Why can't men and women strive to be faithful to their partners and quit justifying their evil acts? Being faithful is not impossible. it may be difficult but its attainable. And should you slip and cheat, please don't be smart about it. being defensive and cooking up reasons for cheating ain't cool. when you cheat on your partner, you destroy him or her. if you are caught and instead of being sorry, u feel on top of the world, you reduce your partner to nothing. cheating isn't cool in anyway. be with a partner who makes ur heart beat fast each time u set eyes on him or her. don't settle for less, or money, sex, good looks etc

best post ever

InZA:


Take the used condom to the laboratory, let them take a swab from the linings of the condom, there should be enough left for DNA analysis. Tell him to provide a sample of his own sperm, "stash" it in a sterile container and take it with you to the laboratory, tell them to do a matching DNA analysis... Your marriage or introduction should be kept pending until the results are released.

I have a personal principle which many may see as too rigid or even maybe to the low thinking ones, as being hypocritical and the principle is this-if I would hold myself to a stern sense of personal integrity and fidelity, I demand absolutely nothing less than that from anybody that I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with and so for me personally, I wouldn't even go through the "stress" of doing the laboratory tests I suggested, because for me "A suspected cheat is a cheat,". The fact that a girl could even remotely create grounds for me to doubt or question her fidelity to me, is enough reason for me to call it quits but since, by seeking our collective opinions here, it shows that you're more diplomatic than rigidly objective - I think you should go do that laboratory test.

You should want to get married to someone you can absolutely trust, someone that you are sure is committed to you and you alone, and trust me, the actions of your boyfriend have not fed such assertions. He says it was his friend that used the condoms- lies from the Toronto University. Is this the first time his friend is using his house, why was it the period you travelled that his friend chose to come use his house, why was it the time he had to go eat that his friend came to use his house.

And for all the previous comments here suggesting that guys are polygamous in nature, or 99 percent of guys cheat and all other shiity and trashy comments of similar nature - una dey craze!!!. If you have been used to having friends that synonymize the nature of randy dogs and goats, you should know that in the "animal kingdom" there are different breeds/species of animals.

GoodFaith:

the lady took the boxer for analyst to the laboratory because
she said her husband was cheating
she want to catch a cheating husband
Today no husband and no Job
Cheating is a big issue-- you can make the man small and respect you the way you handle it
or make a fool of yourself
1 to 10 rating for for men
you have a man that have 8/10
what will you do?

The fact that she was not professional enough in the execution of her job still doesn't give props to the cheating husband or suspected cheating husband, Mixing person affairs with professional work is bad, anyday, anytime. The best she could have done was to take it to another lab and have them do it, because even in the medical profession, family members are not allowed to handle clinical cases of relatives and family members, it's against their professional standards (in most hospitals)


That said, it is still summarily the man's fault that she was paranoid enough or found it worth doing to taking his boxers to her laboratory for DNA analysis. If the husband was absolutely faithful to her, she wouldn't have any need to take his boxers, so it's all about the concept of "No smoke without fire".

Couples should know that at the very basic level, they are responsible for how the other person behaves, it is what you plant in "your garden" that would grow. If you love and respect and commitedly cherish your spouse, (except the spouse is cursed from the great beyond), there are just some ills that you wouldn't find in him/her.

It's all about cause and effects.

If a man has 80 percent of the qualities you desire in a man, and the remaining 20percent represents his cheating nature- please leave the relationship, even if it's 90/10- still leave the relationship. It's called a relationship for a reason, it's supposed to be between two committed adults not between one adult and the rest of his community.

There's absolutely no excuse to condone infidelity.

InZA:


The fact that she was not professional enough in the execution of her job still doesn't give props to the cheating husband or suspected cheating husband, Mixing person affairs with professional work is bad, anyday, anytime. The best she could have done was to take it to another lab and have them do it, because even in the medical profession, family members are not allowed to handle clinical cases of relatives and family members, it's against their professional standards (in most hospitals)


That said, it is still summarily the man's fault that she was paranoid enough or found it worth doing to taking his boxers to her laboratory for DNA analysis. If the husband was absolutely faithful to her, she wouldn't have any need to take his boxers, so it's all about the concept of "No smoke without fire".

Couples should know that at the very basic level, they are responsible for how the other person behaves, it is what you plant in "your garden" that would grow. If you love and respect and commitedly cherish your spouse, (except the spouse is cursed from the great beyond), there are just some ills that you wouldn't find in him/her.

It's all about cause and effects.

If a man has 80 percent of the qualities you desire in a man, and the remaining 20percent represents his cheating nature- please leave the relationship, even if it's 90/10- still leave the relationship. It's called a relationship for a reason, it's supposed to be between two committed adults not between one adult and the rest of his community.

There's absolutely no excuse to condone infidelity.

Good for you
Best of luck getting that very, very good man with 10/10
In life you can manage your risk
or out smart yourself
will you condone a beating husband or a husband that can't provide for the family
a man that go out and drink family money

GoodFaith:

Good for you
Best of luck getting that very, very good man with 10/10
In life you can manage your risk
or out smart yourself
will you condone a beating husband or a husband that can't provide for the family
a man that go out and drink family money

So you would rather condone a man that sleeps around, that constantly disrespects the covenant he made with your body the day he stood before the altar to get married to you or you would condone STDs /STIs and HIV, by the time he brings them home from "work".

You should know what you deserve as a human being, how you want to be treated. See I could go on and on, with all sense of humility, I'm a very versed person, especially in matters of this nature, but if I continue we may end up derailing the thread. In summary, whatever works for you will work for you, it wouldnt work for me.

Cheers ma

InZA:



So you would rather condone a man that sleeps around, that constantly disrespects the covenant he made with your body the day he stood before the altar to get married to you or you would condone STDs /STIs and HIV, by the time he brings them home from "work".

You should know what you deserve as a human being, how you want to be treated. See I could go on and on, with all sense of humility, I'm a very versed person, especially in matters of this nature, but if I continue we may end up derailing the thread. In summary, whatever works for you will work for you, it wouldnt work for me.

Cheers ma

I am not telling you what to condone
My general take in life is
If I am having problem with a woman
I will take ten thing that are very important to me
I will look at the ten things
If the woman can get 7/10 or 8/10 we can work thing out
if the woman have 2/10 I will run with my two legs, Kids will not stop me from running
what is good for you might not be good for me
Life is about patient and logic --
wisdom win over proud

InZA:


Errrrrrm.....The last time I checked I am Any business proposal attached to that question?

dnt worry u will soon hear from me.

GoodFaith:

Only the broke men and the men their wives kick their ass
90% of we men cheat form Africa men to white to Indian men
Just my personal experience
If the opportunity present itself sorry oh

Smh, unfortunately, I don't believe you.

Sorry.

sweetcocoa:
Smh, unfortunately, I don't believe you.

Sorry.

I am not telling you to believe me
Fortunately you have right to your views
Please keep moving

fleezytran:


Bro, OP and all who care to read this! In my experience in life, as a man who probably has had a rough life somewhere, somehow, even as a lady who has started planning to settle down. Not all your friends are happy that you wanna leave them behind and so they find ways to slow you down.

Brother, be sincere will u dump ur used condoms in the waste bin in ur kitchen if u wanna cheat, knowing fully well that it's the major department of ur wife-to-be. Nah I don't think I will do dat, I don't even flush in the toilet, I wrap in a tissue and take it out of the vicinity totally. Trust me OP u need to ask him o!

U're quite on point jst d d story sef get as e b......but d idea of testing one's partner to see if I fall victim or not & I happen to findout,honestly I'll proudly fall victim....sure guy

mradjoy:
wicked guy, ah ah!

Lol.....ma guy aw man go do?....y wud ma partner b testing me as if na jamb post ume we dey prepare for

pwerrymansion:
mr kraftman I wonder what my moniker has got to do with ur suggestions,my moniker is actually my name if translated in my local language. I find it denigrating 4 u to attribute to sounding whorish.am sorry to dissappoint you, I still maintain my grounds that d OP should flee. FYI, marriage is to be enjoyed not managed. If for just few days she travelled, the guy started sleeping around and even being so careless to leave some in d trash bin. What will happen if eventually they do get settled and OP travels for even 1yr? In relationship what actually matters is respect and that has worked for me for 10yrs! And stop justifying infifelity and casting aspersions on people's Identity youngman!

dats ur opinion...i still maintain ur a wrong counsellor...ur hubby should b very careful cos d spirit of forgiveness is far from u...pls change ur perspective n pray da God grants u d spirit of forgiveness

God bless you for this post!

Jackeeh:
hmmmmmmm reading through comments uploaded before mine I can't help but wonder: everyone now feel cheating is cool. Men are polygamous in nature, condoms might be used for other reasons( like fetching water), quit snooping around,we are mortals, it must have been used by his friend, don't get him angry when confronting him etc. Why can't men and women strive to be faithful to their partners and quit justifying their evil acts? Being faithful is not impossible. it may be difficult but its attainable. And should you slip and cheat, please don't be smart about it. being defensive and cooking up reasons for cheating ain't cool. when you cheat on your partner, you destroy him or her. if you are caught and instead of being sorry, u feel on top of the world, you reduce your partner to nothing. cheating isn't cool in anyway. be with a partner who makes ur heart beat fast each time u set eyes on him or her. don't settle for less, or money, sex, good looks etc

seseannie:
Tnx 4 all ur responses I spoke with him n he said he left a friend in his house n went to eat n that must have been when the condoms were used. He said he knew nothing abt the condoms. he. Has been swearing n begging me to believe him. To be candid I don't really know. What to believe

Lol...big fat lie! He is not at rest with his conscience that's why the pleading, begging and swearing.

I know this is late but this is what you would have done when he went to watch arsenal game: get urself prepared mentally and emotionally. It was obvious he wasn't going to own up. When you asked him and he said it was his friend, demand that he gives you the friend's phone number right away! Call the so-called friend with your own phone in his presence and ask him. You're not being childish, you are trying to gain your man's trust back and right now with this uncertainty, it will be hard to trust him.
When his friend picks up, calmly introduce yourself. Tell him that you and his friend are having a little argument and that you needed his sincere and honest response.

Then ask him if he came to your friend's house 2 days ago! Don't ask him if he came that day the event happened, drag it back by a day or two. If he said he came, ask him when was the last time he's been to his house and if he came alone.

A girl once did this to me: in her own case, she saw a wrap of half-smoked weed: and of course, just like your fiance said: "it wasn't mine!"

kraftsta:

dats ur opinion...i still maintain ur a wrong counsellor...ur hubby should b very careful cos d spirit of forgiveness is far from u...pls change ur perspective n pray da God grants u d spirit of forgiveness

how judgemental can you be? And what do you know about forgiveness since you are an advocate of cheating? And I hope you always forgive your gf each time you catch her cheating? Replying you further will be a colossal waste of mb and time. When you get to the level of maturity abt relationships.for now, run along kiddo momma needs your attention*patshimonthehead*

Dariz God.....just be patient abt it....

InZA:


The fact that she was not professional enough in the execution of her job still doesn't give props to the cheating husband or suspected cheating husband, Mixing person affairs with professional work is bad, anyday, anytime. The best she could have done was to take it to another lab and have them do it, because even in the medical profession, family members are not allowed to handle clinical cases of relatives and family members, it's against their professional standards (in most hospitals)


That said, it is still summarily the man's fault that she was paranoid enough or found it worth doing to taking his boxers to her laboratory for DNA analysis. If the husband was absolutely faithful to her, she wouldn't have any need to take his boxers, so it's all about the concept of "No smoke without fire".

Couples should know that at the very basic level, they are responsible for how the other person behaves, it is what you plant in "your garden" that would grow. If you love and respect and commitedly cherish your spouse, (except the spouse is cursed from the great beyond), there are just some ills that you wouldn't find in him/her.

It's all about cause and effects.

If a man has 80 percent of the qualities you desire in a man, and the remaining 20percent represents his cheating nature- please leave the relationship, even if it's 90/10- still leave the relationship. It's called a relationship for a reason, it's supposed to be between two committed adults not between one adult and the rest of his community.

There's absolutely no excuse to condone infidelity.

Bravo! that's why you remain single bro...


hopefully your comment will make you look 'marketable'...although even most girls knw your type are never sincere.


and telling the OP to leave cos she sense he is cheating is tantamount to sayin she shd remain single for life...

guys sha...

sucess001:


Bravo! that's why you remain single bro...


hopefully your comment will make you look 'marketable'...although even most girls knw your type are never sincere.


and telling the OP to leave cos she sense he is cheating is tantamount to sayin she shd remain single for life...

guys sha...

Seen.