Salam Alaiykum Muslim Brothers and Sisters.

In my years as a youth (in my teenage days) I always asked myself why men engage in polygamy when they could easily live peacefully with one caring woman.

Lately, many years down the line.
I have thought of the need for a second wife more often than I have brushed my teeth...which is quite often.

(1) I want to know exactly what Islam says about Polygamy.

(2) When it is necessary to take the hand of a second Woman and bring her into the home.

(3) How to go about it in order to avoid Allah's wrath.

(4) All the necessary steps to take to prevent the usual commotion among women. Etc


For other Brothers who are also considering going thesame way, please let's have your reasons or let's probably attempt to talk each other out of it.

Educative contributions will be highly appreciated INSHA ALLAH!

Is that your wife is not enough for you or is it out of the need to prove the man that you are. Because the trend out there is the latter.

Justfollowit:
Is that your wife is not enough for you or is it out of the need to prove the man that you are. Because the trend out there is the latter.

Is there really a trend or we have men these days trying to avoid polygamy by all means. Meanwhile, some engage in illicit relationships outside the home to compliment their legal affairs.

I understand the Quran calls it Zinah and its consequences are grevious.

lobaloba88:


Is there really a trend or we have men these days trying to avoid polygamy by all means. Meanwhile, some engage in illicit relationships outside the home to compliment their legal affairs.

I understand the Quran calls it Zinah and its consequences are grevious.

If that is the case

Every Muslim man which I personally know ate getting married to a second wife to avoid zinah, isn't it.

Your problem is this reason is secondary to the issues of Zinah. If I remember correctly Polygamy was not a trend with the ummah until when the war started.

You can quote me anywhere that

Most Muslim men out here in the MSSN with have more than one wife suffer from inferiority complex and they are emasculated men.

The thing is I have got facts and scenarios to back it up

Wake me up when the practice is done for something other than I want to feel like a man.

Honestly, in my humble opinion, this is none issue. Quran comes first before anything else. The fact that it allows men to marry more than one wife makes it legal and halal.

What anyone says is irrelevant. A man just doesn't have to be rude to his first wife just because he's getting another. And first wife does not have to live at the expense of the later. That's not righteous.

First all, this seems to bear burdens on women. I understand that jealous part. That's normal but Allah comes first. Therefore, a believing woman must submit first to Allah's command whether she's comfortable with it or not. That's called Iman.

We also need to look at the whole thing from broad perceptive. We know rosul(saw) said that in the Last Age there will be more women than men. Meaning the ratio of women will be higher than men. This is happening around us today. So if every man is to marry a woman, which is what feminism is now all about, them other women be nothing but prostitute. It doesnt matter how one defines the term.

I swear, a believing woman who humbles herself and trust in Allah will accept her husband's decision to bring in another wife. Again, I can understand the frustration sometimes. But hey, this is part of Allah's mercy. You just dont know yet.

I also understand that some men, maybe a lot of men abuse it as well. No doubt about that. That's why Quran places conditions.

If you ask me if one man and one woman is the only way to go?, i tell you it's hypocrisy. Go and scrutinize those men very well, they have ex-marital affairs all the time. Many of them even bear children with different mistresses. The problem with this is they are not married (zina=haram), those women themselves are not protected (as in all benefits of marriage).They lose it. Even in the West, the least they could hold on to in most cases is "child support". The children themselves are not protected. Children will be all over places with different mothers etc.

A case study is I read about "Nollyhood" so called celebrities men struggling with sexual urges despite marrying one wife. Typical example is actor Jibola Dabo who openly said one wife is not enough. http://leadership.ng/entertainment/363307/im-ardent-supporter-polygamy-jibola-dabo.

Same thing "King" Sunny Ade, so called devout christian has many wives.
http://www.bellanaija.com/2014/11/07/veteran-musician-king-sunny-ade-shows-off-his-7-beautiful-wives/

I also remember my final yr secondary school day when I was very closed to a very beautiful classmate. But we were not into boyfriend/girlfriend thing at all. Just a friend. We go home together all the time. Vice principal of that school was a Pastor in the city. One day he called me and warned me that he doesnt want to see me with that lady EVER. I was scared as a young student. Then I secretly followed the lady after school hours to gist her what happened and why VP would say that? She said he's has been bothering the hell out of her....not to be his wife....not to be his "regular" girl friend but his valva.

It was this lady who exposed the "pastor" (VP) to me that he actually married with 5 wives in the city and he has some students in the same school that have aborted pregnancies "a million times" for him. I witnessed one of them who lived in the house i rented when she was sick after abortion.

Since then I salute my VP.

My point is men are designed for multiple wives. This is undeniable. Any man who says he can't marry one wife or detests it be it Muslim or not, I will scrutinize his private life. Trust me. Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky leaked secret was just plain example, too.

This is purely my opinion.

I understand that a man is allowed to have more then 1 wife and that some woman don't mind their husbands marrying others. But what I don't understand is why woman can't chose to get out of the marriage. If the guy promises you that he will not marry another woman before marriage but later chances his mind, then the woman should be able to leave the marriage in my opinion. At least she can marry a man who just wants to have one wife then.

^ And she quits and marries another man who "promises" or "just" want "one" wife.

But it's okay if he has mistresses behind your back?.

You will forever quit marriages.

You think polygamy is paradise for men?. Na!

It's pro women actually.

Empiree:
^ And she quits and marries another man who "promises" or "just" want "one" wife.

But it's okay if he has mistresses behind your back?.

You will forever quit marriages.

You think polygamy is paradise for men?. Na!

It's pro women actually.

Are you trying to tell me that there are no muslim men who are happy with having one wife? are you suggesting that they all have misteresses? what a load of bullshit. There are enough guys who don't want more then one wife, my father for example has been loyal to my mum and never married another. We don't have to settle with a guy who wants more wives.

good tread.

Dont bother.... You can't love both equally, and that is a key criteria for taking a second wife or not.

ElFenomeno1:
Dont bother.... You can't love both equally, and that is a key criteria for taking a second wife or not.

Actually you are not required to love them equally as long as you're just.

Well back in the days it was done because there was a lot of wars. Thus making a lot of women widows. Polygamy was put in place so a woman and her kids would feel secure.

Nowadays its done to avoid affairs. If you are considering it, there are certain criteria you have to adhere to. To avoid any future problems I think you should make sure Wifey numero uno is okay with it.

YourMain:


Actually you are not required to love them equally as long as you're just.

Really?

Show me something on that please.

ElFenomeno1:


Really?

Show me something on that please.

'Marry woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one' [Al-Qur'an 4:3].

YourMain:


'Marry woman of your choice in twos' threes' or fours' but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly, (with them), then only one' [Al-Qur'an 4:3].

Now how do we interprete 'justly'?

In the context of the sentence......

ElFenomeno1:


Now how do we interprete 'justly'?

In the context of the sentence......

A very good question!

ElFenomeno1:


Now how do we interprete 'justly'?

In the context of the sentence......

It will be impossible to equally love them.

Justly. Treat them equally. 'Deal justly' Deal - How you treat them. Not how you feel about them.

YourMain:


It will be impossible to equally love them.

Justly. Treat them equally. 'Deal justly' Deal - How you treat them. Not how you feel about them.

I just see inequality here.... And once inequality sets in, it is not cool.

The basis of being unable to guarantee equality is one of the reasons why i won't contemplate it at all....

We are assuming that ''loving equally'' isn't a criteria to make it easier for men to marry more then one lady. But who are we kidding, some men even ignore the criteria that are very clear (like being able to provide for both families).

Yareey:
We are assuming that ''loving equally'' isn't a criteria to make it easier for men to marry more then one lady. But who are we kidding, some men even ignore the criteria that are very clear (like being able to provide for both families).

That's between Allah and him.

ElFenomeno1:


I just see inequality here.... And once inequality sets in, it is not cool.

The basis of being unable to guarantee equality is one of the reasons why i won't contemplate it at all....

I understand. Its the same with parents and kids. They always have a favorite and I think it's okay as long as they treat them equally.

Imagine your wife can't have kids and you really want some. I'm sure you know surrogacy and adoption isn't allowed so you marry another wife. You'll forever love the first wife more. and its permissible as long as you treat the other as you would treat the first.

YourMain:


I understand. Its the same with parents and kids. They always have a favorite and I think it's okay as long as they treat them equally.

Imagine your wife can't have kids and you really want some. I'm sure you know surrogacy and adoption isn't allowed so you marry another wife. You'll forever love the first wife more. and its permissible as long as you treat the other as you would treat the first.

Adoption is not allowed in islam?

Yareey:
We are assuming that ''loving equally'' isn't a criteria to make it easier for men to marry more then one lady. But who are we kidding, some men even ignore the criteria that are very clear (like being able to provide for both families).

Absolutely.

ElFenomeno1:


Adoption is not allowed in islam?

Nope. You're not allowed give anyone your inheritance or your surname. You may sponsor them as your own. But they can't call you daddy.

YourMain:


Nope. You're not allowed give anyone your inheritance or your surname. You may sponsor them as your own. But they can't call you daddy.

Interesting.

Not even bequeathing anything to them?

Wow.

ElFenomeno1:


Interesting.

Not even bequeathing anything to them?

Wow.

While you're alive. You may give them as much as you please. But nothing in your will.

YourMain:


While you're alive. You may give them as much as you please. But nothing in your will.

Not correct. You are allowed to give 1/3 to whoever you want.

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/5217/viewall/

Yareey:

Not correct. You are allowed to give 1/3 to whoever you want.

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/5217/viewall/

Islamic law allows a person to bequeath up to 1/3 (one third) of his or her estate to whomever he or she wishes, providing the beneficiaries are not from amongst those who will benefit from the remaining 2/3 (two thirds)

Sure. Best to my knowledge, You may not adopt a child and give him/her any inheritance.

If you've two children and one is sponsored you may not give him or her anything.

The only thing that is not allowed is giving the adopted child your last name. The kid has a father and mother and should not be lied to. But you can love, care and provide for the child. You can also breastfeed the child to strengthen the bond. The child will become one of your own then and will have the same rights are your other kids.

Allah is kind to us and gave us the chance to enjoy parenthood even if you can't have kids

Yareey:

Not correct. You are allowed to give 1/3 to whoever you want.

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/5217/viewall/

By adopting someone's child as one's own, the rightful and deserving heirs to the property of a man are deprived of their shares. Hence, Islam has made it Haraam (forbidden) for a father to deprive his natural children of inheritance. Allaah has established the distribution of inheritance in order to give each eligible person his or her share. In matters of inheritance, the Quran does not recognise any claim except those based on relationship through blood and marriage. The Quran stipulates (what means): "And those who believed after [the initial emigration] and emigrated and fought with you – they are of you. But those of [blood] relationship are more entitled [to inheritance] in the decree of Allaah. Indeed, Allaah is knowing of all things." [Quran 8:75]

YourMain:


By adopting someone's child as one's own, the rightful and deserving heirs to the property of a man are deprived of their shares. Hence, Islam has made it Haraam (forbidden) for a father to deprive his natural children of inheritance. Allaah has established the distribution of inheritance in order to give each eligible person his or her share. In matters of inheritance, the Quran does not recognise any claim except those based on relationship through blood and marriage. The Quran stipulates (what means): "And those who believed after [the initial emigration] and emigrated and fought with you – they are of you. But those of [blood] relationship are more entitled [to inheritance] in the decree of Allaah. Indeed, Allaah is knowing of all things." [Quran 8:75]

That is the 2/3 of the inheritance and this rule has nothing to do with whether adopting a child is allowed or not. Even if you don't have adopted children then you still have to give 2/3 of your inheritance to your children (if you have a son, if not then things become even more confusing). You can't donate all your money to a mosque or give it to the poor for example.

Yareey:

That is the 2/3 of the inheritance and this rule has nothing to do with whether adopting a child is allowed or not. Even if you don't have adopted children then you still have to give 2/3 of your inheritance to your children (if you have a son, if not then things become even more confusing). You can't donate all your money to a mosque or give it to the poor for example.

If you say so.