I am barely 22, and I have very serious anger issues(i think). I rarely do get angry, I most times over look people and tolerate them,but when or if I loose it, it's something else entire. Tonight, if not for the timely intervention of my neighbours, I probably would have killed or seriously injured my Lil sister whom I always sacrifice everything for but gives me Lil or no respect in return, it's just her character, even my parents were against her coming to live with me in the 1st place knowing the kind of person she is.
The thing is, after I get angry and take a rash decision or hit or hurt anyone in the process, I always end up remorseful and regret all my actions. I don't know how I can avoid taking my anger to the extreme.. any options out there?

bliss4s:
I am barely 22, and I have very serious anger issues(i think). I rarely do get angry, I most times over look people and tolerate them,but when or if I loose it, it's something else entire. Tonight, if not for the timely intervention of my neighbours, I probably would have killed or seriously injured my Lil sister whom I always sacrifice everything for but gives me Lil or no respect in return, it's just her character, even my parents were against her coming to live with me in the 1st place knowing the kind of person she is.
The thing is, after I get angry and take a rash decision or hit or hurt anyone in the process, I always end up remorseful and regret all my actions. I don't know how I can avoid taking my anger to the extreme.. any options out there?

At the highlighted, you actually mean, knowing the kind of person YOU ARE right?

Well, you need to see a professional in mental health. Do you have bouts of depression?

[/quote][quote author=Evina post=31972425]

At the highlighted, you actually mean, knowing the kind of person YOU ARE right?

Well, you need to see a professional in mental health. Do you have bouts of depression?

No, knowing the kind of person She is. Mannerless, lazy and rude...all three terrible attributes that easily pushes me off..

bliss4s:



No, knowing the kind of person She is. Mannerless, lazy and rude...all three terrible attributes that easily pushes me off..

Okay.
So to your situation, are you prone to depression?

Try look up anger management programs close to you and hook yourself up.
I believe it works.

Pls don't get married until a therapist or psychiatrist is sure you've gotten this under control.

You don't wanna end up killing your husband or wife because they are gonna get you mad one day one day.

Everyone gets annoying sometimes

Evina:


Okay.
So to your situation, are you prone to depression?

Depression, NO.
I know I often have mood swings. While some days can be very really happy, some days can just be dark and cold for me. And most cold days are when am low on funds...whenever my account is looking bright, am always happy 24/7.
I can clearly say I'm not depressed or prone to depression in anyway.

cococandy:
Try look up anger management programs close to you and hook yourself up.
I believe it works.

Pls don't get married until a therapist or psychiatrist is sure you've gotten this under control.

You don't wanna end up killing your husband or wife because they are gonna get you mad one day one day.

Everyone gets annoying sometimes

I don't really know of any anger management programmes.

bliss4s:


I don't really know of any anger management programmes.

google

I will suggest u pray about it,I av gone thru such before but wen I prayed about it I just stopped taking those hurtful words seriously and it worked fine, it easy, its free and its the fastest.

bliss4s:
I am barely 22, and I have very serious anger issues(i think). I rarely do get angry, I most times over look people and tolerate them,but when or if I loose it, it's something else entire. Tonight, if not for the timely intervention of my neighbours, I probably would have killed or seriously injured my Lil sister whom I always sacrifice everything for but gives me Lil or no respect in return, it's just her character, even my parents were against her coming to live with me in the 1st place knowing the kind of person she is.
The thing is, after I get angry and take a rash decision or hit or hurt anyone in the process, I always end up remorseful and regret all my actions. I don't know how I can avoid taking my anger to the extreme.. any options out there?

Realizing and admitting you have a problem is one half of the problem solved
Why are you angry?
That is the question
Did you witness or were you the victim of physical abuse in your home from an early age?
It's either an emotional damage from abuse or some psychiatric disorder
It's not normal to be filled with rage to want to kill your own sister
Please seek help from a psychologist ,psychotherapist or psychiatrist before you harm someone and destroy your own life
If you kill or maim your sister or anyone else,you won't go free so this is the time to get this under control.
I wish you well

babyosisi:


Realizing and admitting you have a problem is one half of the problem solved
Why are you angry?
That is the question
Did you witness or were you the victim of physical abuse in your home from an early age?
It's either an emotional damage from abuse or some psychiatric disorder
It's not normal to be filled with rage to want to kill your own sister
Please seek help from a psychologist ,psychotherapist or psychiatrist before you harm someone and destroy your own life
If you kill or maim your sister or anyone else,you won't go free so this is the time to get this under control.
I wish you well

Thanks.
Emotional damage from abuse, most likely.
My mum used to hit me on any issue, minor or serious. I remember when I was 15 and confided in my mum that I liked a boy, she flogged the living hell outta me, claiming I was too young for such.
Of cause am not a mad person that wud just get angry on my own, I'm only angry when am provoked. And this particular sister of mine, don't know if she derives pleasure from getting me angry, most of the time, I totally ignore just to avoid causing a scene. I just totally lost it yest, and flogged her till she was rescued after she had earlier insulted me just because I asked her who is (17yrs +) where she was going at almost 10pm in the night. The argument led to me dragging her from outside my apartment back inside not to mention she was retaliating both in word and actions.

esmeralda1:
I will suggest u pray about it,I av gone thru such before but wen I prayed about it I just stopped taking those hurtful words seriously and it worked fine, it easy, its free and its the fastest.

Thanks. Wud try

Awww my dear, I totally get you.. but it's not a problem that can't be solved. I suggest ANGER MANAGEMENT LESSONS + CONSISTENT PRAYERS ... also try an habit of walking away when provoked.. You'l be fine.. seek God and seek peace in all things

bliss4s:


Of cause am not a mad person that wud just get angry on my own, I'm only angry when am provoked. And this particular sister of mine, don't know if she derives pleasure from getting me angry, most of the time, I totally ignore just to avoid causing a scene. I just totally lost it yest, and flogged her till she was rescued after she had earlier insulted me just because I asked her who is (17yrs +) where she was going at almost 10pm in the night. The argument led to me dragging her from outside my apartment back inside not to mention she was retaliating both in word and actions.

First off, please send your sister back to her parents.

bliss4s:
I am barely 22, and I have very serious anger issues(i think). I rarely do get angry, I most times over look people and tolerate them,but when or if I loose it, it's something else entire.

That i think is your problem stop pretending an act is ok with you when its not. Try and address the issue there and then instead of meditating on it in your mind until you burst. Stop tolerating what you don't like or want in your life in time you will learn when to compromise or not.

bliss4s:
Tonight, if not for the timely intervention of my neighbours, I probably would have killed or seriously injured my Lil sister whom I always sacrifice everything for but gives me Lil or no respect in return, it's just her character, even my parents were against her coming to live with me in the 1st place knowing the kind of person she is.

Your sisters character is not the only problem here, why do you sacrifice everything for a sister who does not respect you? Your attitude of pleasing her at your own peril will not serve either of you she will grow up into a self centered prima donna around you and you will continue to suffer bouts of anger because you can't speak for yourself. I see more wrong with you than your sister at least she knows how to get what she wants but you don't and then you suffer. Please drop this savior complex it always leads to suffering.

You don't need to get violent to express anger, anger can be expressed in better ways just don't let it simmer and boil over.
It is ok to not like a person's character you can't like everyone anyway and not everybody you meet will like you.. get comfortable with this.
It is ok to tell a person NO because you don't want to do whatever they asked of you. No is not a dirty word.
As a respectful human being You are entitled to respectful treatment from other humans.

lolaredvelvet:
Awww my dear, I totally get you.. but it's not a problem that can't be solved. I suggest ANGER MANAGEMENT LESSONS + CONSISTENT PRAYERS ... also try an habit of walking away when provoked.. You'l be fine.. seek God and seek peace in all things

Thanks plenty.

andromida:


That i think is your problem stop pretending an act is ok with you when its not. Try and address the issue there and then instead of meditating on it in your mind until you burst. Stop tolerating what you don't like or want in your life in time you will learn when to compromise or not.




Your sisters character is not the only problem here, why do you sacrifice everything for a sister who does not respect you? Your attitude of pleasing her at your own peril will not serve either of you she will grow up into a self centered prima donna around you and you will continue to suffer bouts of anger because you can't speak for yourself. I see more wrong with you than your sister at least she knows how to get what she wants but you don't and then you suffer. Please drop this savior complex it always leads to suffering.

You don't need to get violent to express anger, anger can be expressed in better ways just don't let it simmer and boil over.
It is ok to not like a person's character you can't like everyone anyway and not everybody you meet will like you.. get comfortable with this.
It is ok to tell a person NO because you don't want to do whatever they asked of you. No is not a dirty word.
As a respectful human being You are entitled to respectful treatment from other humans.

You are just so right. This issue is not just with my sister alone, happens with everyone close to me, I always put other's first, before myself. And I guess I always act okay, even when it's not.
Thanks so much, I would heed your advice, you've been very helpful. God bless you.

bliss4s:



You are just so right. This issue is not just with my sister alone, happens with everyone close to me, I always put other's first, before myself. And I guess I always act okay, even when it's not.
Thanks so much, I would heed your advice, you've been very helpful.God bless you.

You welcome. Amen!

I would use a real life experience here..when I was younger, we had this new family that moved into the neighborhood, their first son was well known to be very quite but with serious Anger issues, one day out of anger from the actions of his brother, he pushed his younger brother down the stairways, not done he went on and punched him severally, his brother passed out before he stopped and help came, the younger brother was taken to the hospital, where it was discovered he had broken ribs and a cracked spinal cord, his right leg was also severely damaged, to cut the story short, his brother became physically disabled for life cos the right leg was amputated, unable to walk and confined to the wheel chair.even now he is yet to forgive himself, he wishes he could bring that very day back but it's way too late as his younger brother died 3 years ago.

Using your anger as excuse is very selfish, I am not going to soothe your ego here and if you are wise enough you would read some sense in this..you mentioned you are barely 22 and a young man, I could care less what your sexual orientation is but you have to reexamine yourself critically.

The early 20's is a stage in life you visualize your path to the future, I am glad you have discovered one of your weaknesses, which might be very detrimental to your future if not corrected or controlled now, I mean now.. your sister is currently the only option you have had to exhibit your angry and aggressive tendencies, given the opportunity you would unleash same on anyone else, I am not condemning you here but hoping you figure out how to channel the energy from your anger into more resourceful activities.

No human is created perfect, Imagine you had killed your sister? Or caused permanent physical damage to any part of her body? What amount of remorse or grief would bring her back?

In life, people are different, lifestyle's are unique, everyone is not created to please you including your siblings and parents, in the Coporate world, in the academics, in the social world, we have to learn to get along with people.

An angry man dwells too long in his mistakes and does not see opportunities to correct them.

Roland17:
I would use a real life experience here..when I was younger, we had this new family that moved into the neighborhood, their first son was well known to be very quite but with serious Anger issues, one day out of anger from the actions of his brother, he pushed his younger brother down the stairways, not done he went on and punched him severally, his brother passed out before he stopped and help came, the younger brother was taken to the hospital, where it was discovered he had broken ribs and a cracked spinal cord, his right leg was also severely damaged, to cut the story short, his brother became physically disabled for life cos the right leg was amputated, unable to walk and confined to the wheel chair.even now he is yet to forgive himself, he wishes he could bring that very day back but it's way too late as his younger brother died 3 years ago.

Using your anger as excuse is very selfish, I am not going to soothe your ego here and if you are wise enough you would read some sense in this..you mentioned you are barely 22 and a young man, I could care less what your sexual orientation is but you have to reexamine yourself critically.

The early 20's is a stage in life you visualize your path to the future, I am glad you have discovered one of your weaknesses, which might be very detrimental to your future if not corrected or controlled now, I mean now.. your sister is currently the only option you have had to exhibit your angry and aggressive tendencies, given the opportunity you would unleash same on anyone else, I am not condemning you here but hoping you figure out how to channel the energy from your anger into more resourceful activities.

No human is created perfect, Imagine you had killed your sister? Or caused permanent physical damage to any part of her body? What amount of remorse or grief would bring her back?

In life, people are different, lifestyle's are unique, everyone is not created to please you including your siblings and parents, in the Coporate world, in the academics, in the social world, we have to learn to get along with people.

An angry man dwells too long in his mistakes and does not see opportunities to correct them.

The poster is a female,I believe, and this makes it scarier

bliss4s:


Thanks.
Emotional damage from abuse, most likely.
My mum used to hit me on any issue, minor or serious. I remember when I was 15 and confided in my mum that I liked a boy, she flogged the living hell outta me, claiming I was too young for such.
Of cause am not a mad person that wud just get angry on my own, I'm only angry when am provoked. And this particular sister of mine, don't know if she derives pleasure from getting me angry, most of the time, I totally ignore just to avoid causing a scene. I just totally lost it yest, and flogged her till she was rescued after she had earlier insulted me just because I asked her who is (17yrs +) where she was going at almost 10pm in the night. The argument led to me dragging her from outside my apartment back inside not to mention she was retaliating both in word and actions.

Abuse breeds abuse
Children of angry parents who hit them at the slightest provocation also learn to settle life's scores with their fists.
You may have to do some self talk when that anger builds up
Read the story Roland posted
Once you hurt someone,you can't take it back,you will live with that,the rest of your life and the reasons you hurt them become very inconsequential.

I am a pretty emotional person by my make up. Not physical though ,i understand me
One thing I learnt as an adult is not to make any important decisions in anger and it has saved me from a lot of things
Who or what do you turn to when you are that angry?
You need To find an escape
You may have to get a confidant to whom you vent when you are that angry and learn to wait before you react.
I have had angry emails or words from colleagues and bosses that I waited days sometimes weeks to respond to
That is a huge deal for me because my normal self would want to fire back immediately
I taught myself that
So even though I don't respond to the person immediately,I would have called my husband to vent and rant,called my best friend or another friend to talk about it to calm me down and when I type up a response if I do, never on the same day though,I always have someone,most likely my husband read over it before I send it,

What I just told you are life lessons that you must learn to function well in society or you will have a tough time ahead.
People will always say and do things to upset you on the street,at the workplace at home
Will you hit them all when they do ?
Would you like your daughter or son someday saying these same things?
You have to find a better way and the better way is not to expect the other person to change by not annoying you
The better and best way is to change the only thing you can control and that is your response to provocation
A young woman like you shouldn't be getting into physical altercations

No option but self-therapy.
One step in the right direction is that you are aware of the problem.

See a shrink and get on the right form of therapy!

It is a result of your harsh environment. A typical behavior problem with Africans and the lack of positive coping mechanisms with regards to conflict resolution.

babyosisi:


Abuse breeds abuse
Children of angry parents who hit them at the slightest provocation also learn to settle life's scores with their fists.
You may have to do some self talk when that anger builds up
Read the story Roland posted
Once you hurt someone,you can't take it back,you will live with that,the rest of your life and the reasons you hurt them become very inconsequential.

I am a pretty emotional person by my make up. Not physical though ,i understand me
One thing I learnt as an adult is not to make any important decisions in anger and it has saved me from a lot of things
Who or what do you turn to when you are that angry?
You need To find an escape
You may have to get a confidant to whom you vent when you are that angry and learn to wait before you react.
I have had angry emails or words from colleagues and bosses that I waited days sometimes weeks to respond to
That is a huge deal for me because my normal self would want to fire back immediately
I taught myself that
So even though I don't respond to the person immediately,I would have called my husband to vent and rant,called my best friend or another friend to talk about it to calm me down and when I type up a response if I do, never on the same day though,I always have someone,most likely my husband read over it before I send it,

What I just told you are life lessons that you must learn to function well in society or you will have a tough time ahead.
People will always say and do things to upset you on the street,at the workplace at home
Will you hit them all when they do ?
Would you like your daughter or son someday saying these same things?
You have to find a better way and the better way is not to expect the other person to change by not annoying you
The better and best way is to change the only thing you can control and that is your response to provocation
A young woman like you shouldn't be getting into physical altercations

Thanks. Wud heed you advice.
But I don't get physical with everyone. Even an ex that hurt me so much, I left without saying one word. The only person who I get physical with is this sister of mine, no one else. Even my best friend that can be an ass sometimes, i've always tolerated. I said it at the beginning, I always tolerate people and ignore.

Roland17:
I would use a real life experience here..when I was younger, we had this new family that moved into the neighborhood, their first son was well known to be very quite but with serious Anger issues, one day out of anger from the actions of his brother, he pushed his younger brother down the stairways, not done he went on and punched him severally, his brother passed out before he stopped and help came, the younger brother was taken to the hospital, where it was discovered he had broken ribs and a cracked spinal cord, his right leg was also severely damaged, to cut the story short, his brother became physically disabled for life cos the right leg was amputated, unable to walk and confined to the wheel chair.even now he is yet to forgive himself, he wishes he could bring that very day back but it's way too late as his younger brother died 3 years ago.

Using your anger as excuse is very selfish, I am not going to soothe your ego here and if you are wise enough you would read some sense in this..you mentioned you are barely 22 and a young man, I could care less what your sexual orientation is but you have to reexamine yourself critically.

The early 20's is a stage in life you visualize your path to the future, I am glad you have discovered one of your weaknesses, which might be very detrimental to your future if not corrected or controlled now, I mean now.. your sister is currently the only option you have had to exhibit your angry and aggressive tendencies, given the opportunity you would unleash same on anyone else, I am not condemning you here but hoping you figure out how to channel the energy from your anger into more resourceful activities.

No human is created perfect, Imagine you had killed your sister? Or caused permanent physical damage to any part of her body? What amount of remorse or grief would bring her back?

In life, people are different, lifestyle's are unique, everyone is not created to please you including your siblings and parents, in the Coporate world, in the academics, in the social world, we have to learn to get along with people.

An angry man dwells too long in his mistakes and does not see opportunities to correct them.

Thanks. But I get along well with people. If I had caused permanent damage, yes I wud have regretted it but she wud have learnt her lesson. For God's sake, she's not my only sibling, I have a brother who's more annoying, but once he notices am angry, he wud just say sorry or laugh the moment away, but this particular one, wud continuously hit on that nerve. My ex bf used to be abusive once in a while, I never for oneday retaliated, wonder why? I give respect to whom it is due, I know how to respect my elders and every how wrong my mum treated me while growing up, I never for oneday retaliated anytime she hits me, if I was wrong or not.
Anyways, thanks for your contribution.