Are you a Nigerian parent? Please Please Please stop destroying the future of your children in the name of "African Culture".

Again and again I am seeing the outcome of our parents’ overly strict, utterly abusive and insanely oppressive parenting style all around me. 10 - 20 violent lashes, the scolding, ‘shut up when your elders are talking’, 1 2 3 knocks on the head for not walking fast enough zero encouragement and the ultimate esteem killer – constant berating in front of friends. This continues from age 3 well into the formative years then finally into teenage life and at this point the entire prospects and potential is destroyed to pieces.

A few years down the line the kids grow into youth, youths with zero self-esteem, confidence and worth. Worthless to the society in where they live and even more useless to the organization they find themselves. They struggle in the workplace to meet up with their peers who had parents that encouraged speaking out, questioning, probing, confronting authority, being inquisitive and adventurous all within a less practiced practice of ‘beastic discipline’.

You will never find such docile employees at the top of the career pyramid, they really never make it that far, because the higher you go the more expressive and bold you are expected to be.
If you are observant enough and go head to track these unfortunate lot (which by the way makes up about 90% of the youth population) you see them finally morphing into:
1. Depressed dads who beat, threaten and god over their wives
2. Viciously vile moms who only know how to whip death into child slaves

If you are a young Nigerian boy or girl working in a renowned multinational but harboring the following attributes (which sometimes appear in yearly appraisal feedback):
• He is always shy to contribute in group conversations neither does he strive to participate in off group activities
• He never questions his superiors
• He is neither innovative nor assertive
• He is hopelessly docile and subservient (not good for 21st century corporate world)
• He has low energy and is never disciplined with time.
• He is overtly superstitious
• Limited cognition

You need to first recognize all those early years of abuse by your parents have dire consequences; you may be able to cram your way into big league firms but remaining relevant would require a total personality transplant.

How do we curb this behaviour or change the behaviour in the youth?

unveil:
Are you a Nigerian parent? Please Please Please stop destroying the future of your children in the name of "African Culture".

Again and again I am seeing the outcome of our parents’ overly strict, utterly abusive and insanely oppressive parenting style all around me. 10 - 20 violent lashes, the scolding, ‘shut up when your elders are talking’, 1 2 3 knocks on the head for not walking fast enough zero encouragement and the ultimate esteem killer – constant berating in front of friends. This continues from age 3 well into the formative years then finally into teenage life and at this point the entire prospects and potential is destroyed to pieces.

A few years down the line the kids grow into youth, youths with zero self-esteem, confidence and worth. Worthless to the society in where they live and even more useless to the organization they find themselves. They struggle in the workplace to meet up with their peers who had parents that encouraged speaking out, questioning, probing, confronting authority, being inquisitive and adventurous all within a less practiced practice of ‘beastic discipline’.

You will never find such docile employees at the top of the career pyramid, they really never make it that far, because the higher you go the more expressive and bold you are expected to be.
If you are observant enough and go head to track these unfortunate lot (which by the way makes up about 90% of the youth population) you see them finally morphing into:
1. Depressed dads who beat, threaten and god over their wives
2. Viciously vile moms who only know how to whip death into child slaves
If you are a young Nigerian boy or girl working in a renowned multinational but harboring the following attributes (which sometimes appear in yearly appraisal feedback):
• He is always shy to contribute in group conversations neither does he strive to participate in off group activities
• He never questions his superiors
• He is neither innovative nor assertive
• He is hopelessly docile and subservient (not good for 21st century corporate world)
• He has low energy and is never disciplined with time.
• He is overtly superstitious
• Limited cognition

You need to first recognize all those early years of abuse by your parents have dire consequences; you may be able to cram your way into big league firms but remaining relevant would require a total personality transplant.

Borders around the type of things my landlady would like to be exhibited by tenants cos of her age. she hates me to bits cos i dont agree to that sort of nonsense. respect begets respect no doubt but cross the line ill just walk out on you or drop the phone, if she talks nonsense i answer am sharperly, when she starts to curse her children not me i leave her talking to herself that kind thing dey pain the woman die. silly old hag. Glad i didnt fall under this category growing up. Naija parents things were present no doubt, but youll be amazed what a bit of boarding school does to ones psyche! Glad were living in more exposed times where we dont get to raise our children to end up like that!

edozie04:
How do we curb this behaviour or change the behaviour in the youth?

I was raised in Beirut and live in Afghanistan...how can I help?

Well I didn't have African parents soo...

praxisnetworks:



I was raised in Beirut and live in Afghanistan...how can I help?

lol, beirut ko afghanistan ni

Never get married

Rainess:
Well I didn't have African parents soo...

You're denying your parents to impress. Is that not so

mrwonlasewonie:
You're denying your parents to impress. Is that not so

I am not African -_-

Rainess:


I am not African -_-

Cool chic.
Lovely eyes.

Rainess:


I am not African -_-

liar

And this is yet to change.

So many radio programs are still promoting this beastly habit.

You end up a hate-filled, average slob.

So much for African discipline.

Poster you describe my mother's parenting. She denies this however.

unveil:
And this is yet to change.

So many radio programs are still promoting this beastly habit.

You end up a hate-filled, average slob.

So much for African discipline.

stop hating yourself because you are being told to do so.

are you gay btw?

that will help with understanding your posts.

It is unfortunate but I support some form of upbringing of the African parent though.

Its just Africans are extremist in nature , we don't know how to balance what we do, copy and emulate .
Quite unfortunate.

African parents suppress the inquisitive nature and boldness of kids and thats why we're not good inventors. The other side effect of the African upbringing is that is why our politicians get away with so much, you'll be hearing he or she's old enough to be your mother once you are a public official you are accountable to all. Also you are not supposed to ever correct an elderly person even when they are clearly wrong how is the society supposed to develop. I pray we do better with our kids