Both types have their pros and cons. Arranged marriage is different from forced marriage. An arranged marriage just means someone else(usually family) found and introduced the person to you, both parties have some input in the whole process, they are allowed to meet and court before getting engaged and I believe either party can say no, but I must concede that it may be difficult to say no if all the people involved keep applying pressure on both parties.

The main pro of arranged marriages is that both sides are so intertwined that it makes it a bit more difficult for either party to misbehave, but like I said earlier individual experiences differ. There were several arranged marriages in the bible and they lasted. It is equally good to marry for love, but I prefer an arranged marriage because you have detailed information about the person, his family, health issues, family history etc.

But forced marriage is a no no for me.

All the people here talking about arranged marriage don't know what they are talking about. You are either too ugly, fat or some other thing to get a man by normal means. arranged marriage means some total stranger jumping up and down on top of you everynight. you think it's easy?
The marriage itself is not the problem, it's the part where you are living together everyday, day in day out.

As for me, if i don't love the babe, i'm not marrying her. I will rather love and marry a babe with a bad family, than marriage some total stranger because she fits the bill.

That is condemning yourself to a life without love and that kinda life is not worth living.

what is marriage without love?

Leilah:

When I was younger I had an arranged marriage through the mosque. It didnt work out and I have a child from that marriage. Thankfully, five years ago I married again to someone who I loved and knew well and still do.

At this time and age ? i thot this happens in the days of my grand-father.

sexyLeamon:

perfect example of the downfall of arranged marriage

who told you that there is no downfall in love marriage.
you will never know the secretive part of your spouse until you begin to live together.

eve 4 jesu:

what is marriage without love?

Marriage

TO EACH HIS OR HER OWN. My friend told me of her co-worker who is anxiously waiting to go back home because her parents have prepared her a husband. One of my indian friends also got married through an arranged marriage. The morale of the story is if you like it then go for it. Its economical and cheap you don't waste time going through the whole dating hassle and if you are the shy guy you don't have to be so racked up with nervousness at asking a girl you like out. Everything is already done by your parents, and let's not forget that parents always know what's best. wink wink.

davidif:

TO EACH HIS OR HER OWN. My friend told me of her co-worker who is anxiously waiting to go back home because her parents have prepared her a husband. One of my indian friends also got married through an arranged marriage. The morale of the story is if you like it then go for it. Its economical and cheap you don't waste time going through the whole dating hassle and if you are the shy guy you don't have to be so racked up with nervousness at asking a girl you like out. Everything is already done by your parents, and let's not forget that parents always know what's best. wink wink.

My friend listen to yourself, are you a man at all. Your happy to say that your parents should find wife for you. Maybe your dad should come and sleep with her for you as well.

so this Right Man talk still dey for una system? My take is there is none. Your criteria always come in too much too high.No problem of people looking for what they don't have but does this die down when aging?

From the comments on this thread i think nairalanders should start hooking up.
i mean why not since the guys go don know you small with you loud mouth 

Starting from now;
whats up chinesedoll? nice profile pic but whats with the lack of email address?

Show a broda luv over here doll.

Until you are capable of defining what LOVE is and what arranged marriage is,,then you lack the competence to contribute on this topic.The word LOVE is a relative term! To different people and at different scenerio or situations,,,,certain factors inspires love,,what inspires love for Mr A is different from what inspires love for Mr B.
If an (so called arranged marriage) captures who inspires love to Mr A,, I see no reason why he should not jump at it.In the real sense of things, almost all marriages are arranged from the beginning of the world! The wife or husband you are married is either connected to you via networking.
In the past our grand parents normally pick who guys should get married too,,,and in those days such marriages had solid foundations and lasted even much longer than the ones today.
What most people call LOVE today is nothing but lust,deception,fraud and manipulation! That is why when it comes to marriage, I tell everyone who cares to listen that the first thing to do is to use ur HEAD,,,there is no pity in marriage! A girl or guy should not get married to a girl or a guy because he/she told him/her that he/she LOVES him/her.Marriage is a seriuos business and it amazes me how people just don't take it serious.Every man or woman should have dreams,aspirations and passions, if you can't get someone to fit into such desires then get one you can develop or nurture to that standard.And if its not working out while dating,,,you don't have to deceive urself by lying to the word LOVE,,,People need to understand that no man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or woman.Also there is that need to appreciate the fact that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,,
Therefore, I prefer an arranged marriage that would inspire or ignite my LOVE,,,

REAL TRUTH:

Until you are capable of defining what LOVE is and what arranged marriage is,,then you lack the competence to contribute on this topic.The word LOVE is a relative term! To different people and at different scenerio or situations,,,,certain factors inspires love,,what inspires love for Mr A is different from what inspires love for Mr B.
If an (so called arranged marriage) captures who inspires love to Mr A,, I see no reason why he should not jump at it.In the real sense of things, almost all marriages are arranged from the beginning of the world! The wife or husband you are married is either connected to you via networking.
In the past our grand parents normally pick who guys should get married too,,,and in those days such marriages had solid foundations and lasted even much longer than the ones today.
What most people call LOVE today is nothing but lust,deception,fraud and manipulation! That is why when it comes to marriage, I tell everyone who cares to listen that the first thing to do is to use ur HEAD,,,there is no pity in marriage! A girl or guy should not get married to a girl or a guy because he/she told him/her that he/she LOVES him/her.Marriage is a seriuos business and it amazes me how people just don't take it serious.Every man or woman should have dreams,aspirations and passions, if you can't get someone to fit into such desires then get one you can develop or nurture to that standard.And if its not working out while dating,,,you don't have to deceive urself by lying to the word LOVE,,,People need to understand that no man or any woman is particularly meant for any man or woman.Also there is that need to appreciate the fact that a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage,,
Therefore, I prefer an arranged marriage that would inspire or ignite my LOVE,,,

Poor girl. I see you've found it very tough out there. You're now rationalizing. Anyway, anyone  who says love is not important, has never been in love before. For you, i can see that is the case.

This still happens in mosques.

iboboyz:

Poor girl. I see you've found it very tough out there. You're now rationalizing. Anyway, anyone who says love is not important, has never been in love before. For you, i can see that is the case.

You are making a mistake man!! Am a guy and not a girl! I have been in what you call LOVE b4 and have seen many ladies saying that word LOVE to me,,,but they have to capture my dreams for it to be reciprocated.Your info: am now married to someone that exceeds my expectations,,and that is because I have been preparing myself for this kind of relationship.many people in a relationship or marriage today don't have any business being it! If you study for 4years to get a degree at University ,why do you think you don't have to study and get yourself prepared for the right kind of girl or guy?If you want something good,,you have to be good as well,,,You can't be a lazy man or an illiterate man and hoping and praying for LOVE marriage to a lady well educate,intelligent and smart.Likewise a lady who refuses to develop her self praying for the word LOVE in a man who will come and help her solve her problem and that of her family.
Now one simple question is this,,,what is LOVE within the context of marriage? Do you say U LOVE someone when you are actually take advantage over the other party??My quest is this: Give LOVE(as in what you call Marriage love) to those who deserves and earn it!I can categorically tell you that you re probably in LUST relationship and not LOVE.

More than 50% of marriages in Nigeria are arranged marriages. But the divorce rate when compared to the USA or Canada is less than 10% after 30 years. 

While canada has 40% divorce rate this is the government of Canada website. The govt should make it difficult to get out of marriage. So that people would think first before getting involve.

"""Marriage stability can be assessed using divorce rates based on years of marriage. The proportion of marriages expected to end in divorce by the 30th wedding anniversary inched up to 38.3% in 2003, from 37.6% in 2002.""""

http://www.statcan.gc.ca/daily-quotidien/050309/dq050309b-eng.htm


Over here or the USA. Government agent or agency tend to encourage divorce. It is more of business for them. The more they encourage divorce using either social workers and other things. Even deciet against some gullible women , who does not know they are be decieve by people and social worker. They mostly do it to black people. It is a game. Lawyers also get involve in it they use informant and different trick . All to get money. The reason for divorce been high over here is greed of money and if you become stupid and listen to the system. You are finished.



I believe the government should encourage marriage, instead of using govt agency to break up marriage. A nation where both parent bring up children , would be a better nation. The church is also know to love money out here. they also contribute to the present problem. I can not pastor a church and have all church member as single mother. The church here encourage this over here, because they exploit this gullible women. Like tell them stories that are untrue. etc demon is your houses etc. Tithe and offering have killed the church. It is the reason people now form church. And not God.

While Nigeria arranged marriages have done well. the love marriage of the USA or canada have failed. It tell you a story. That what is marriage about If marriage is about love, then we would assume that marriage in the USA or canada should be doing well.

It answers the fact, that marriage is not about feeling love. And love is not a feeling that people in the USA or canada believe. Love is well defined in the bible. It as nothing to do with your feeling. If you feel love. you are not in love. Love is a commandment of God. Either you like your partner or not, You should continue to love them. A ordian redeemed church member called the other day and called me all crazy name. If I want to be human , I would have reply in kind. I late send this person a wonderful text. This is what God calls love. It is the demostration of God character in you.

The word of God says If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres

1 Corinthians 13

If you notice how the word of God define love. All character of love are ACTION event we do unto others. They are the character of the spirit of God.

Love is

patient
kind
envy
boast
always trusts
always hopes
not proud
always perseveres
not easily angered
rejoices with the truth
not self-seeking

The love in the USA or canada is a love that is self seeking. You notice that feeling is not part of love. Feeling changes anytime. Emotion can change with situation and event.  And what the USA or canada government need to remove is the love that is self seeking. If not this society is going down.

For africa women who come abroad. If you loss the nigeria culture and pick up the nonsense over here. And loss the godly we know from africa. Your life would be like them and your home would be like thier. It is not something you want to be.

My friend listen to yourself, are you a man at all. Your happy to say that your parents should find wife for you. Maybe your dad should come and sleep with her for you as well.

iboboy, don't you understand sarcasm?? Geez, what's wrong with you people? didn't you see that i put a wink sign at the end of the sentence? by the way, to reiterate,  TO EACH HIS OWN. If you like arranged marriage then fine go along with it, if you don't its your business.

Becomrich,
May the good lord bless you for that comment. This is what Nigerians need to learn, that western notion of love is not ideal and pragmatic. True love from God is described in 1 corinthians 13 like you just stated. That love is not based on feelings and sentimentality and all that take me to the moon nonsense. Its pragmatic. I don't ever recall Joseph giving mary flowers or buying her expensive dinner with candles and what not but they stayed married. Love in western culture is very perverse that's why 50% of there marriages end in divorce, and that's after all the expensive white weddings, flowers, candle lit dinners, chocolate, teddy bears and honey moons.

If you want to see what a true spouse is, then read Proverbs 31:10-31, that's pragmatic and biblical love not sensual and sentimental love like you see on TV. Its unfortunate that my African people want to start immitating that. What a shame.

Becomrrich:

More than 50% of marriages in Nigeria are arranged marriages. But the divorce rate when compared to the USA or Canada is less than 10% after 30 years.

While canada has 40% divorce rate this is the government of Canada website. The govt should make it difficult to get out of marriage. So that people would think first before getting involve.

Please don't pass off statistics from the beccomerich clan as Nigerian statistics unless you have satellite images to prove it
Just so you know the divorce rate is low in Nigeria not because the marriages are happier but because of the stigma and economic ramifications of divorce to a Nigerian woman.

Arranged marriage is dumb.
Marriage is hard in itself with a man you fall in love ,how the fried tilapia do people make it with some bloke off the streets just because some psychotic family members tell you they know what's best for you.
If an adult woman agrees to this type of arrangement,that's her cup of tea,but when they subject under-aged girls to this evil arrangement especially in northern Nigeria is where I say,God help the little girls of the world.

Arranged marriage is dumb.

osisi abi deepzone or whatever
TO EACH HIS OWN. My friend told me of her co-worker who is anxiously waiting to go back home because her parents have prepared her a husband. One of my indian friends also got married through an arranged marriage. The morale of the story is if you like it then go for it. Its economical and cheap you don't waste time going through the whole dating hassle and if you are the shy guy you don't have to be so racked up with nervousness at asking a girl you like out. The selection process is done by people whom you trust and with a lot of consultation from the individual who is getting married anyway. There marriage is simpler because they already know the code of being a good wife and they rarely venture outside that. They are also not raised to be rebellious as we are.

Also most so called "love" marriages are very imperfect because people are not the same way they are after marriage. Everybody pulls a front during courtship, then a year into the marriage you begin to find out who they actually are? so what is the difference between that and arranged marriage.

davidif:

osisi abi deepzone or whatever
TO EACH HIS OWN. My friend told me of her co-worker who is anxiously waiting to go back home because her parents have prepared her a husband. One of my indian friends also got married through an arranged marriage. The morale of the story is if you like it then go for it.

There is nothing to like or dislike in something you have no control over.
A lot of younger generation Indians are opting out of that nonsense.
More power to them

Its economical and cheap you don't waste time going through the whole dating hassle and if you are the shy guy you don't have to be so racked up with nervousness at asking a girl you like out. The selection process is done by people whom you trust and with a lot of consultation from the individual who is getting married anyway. There marriage is simpler because they already know the code of being a good wife and they rarely venture outside that. They are also not raised to be rebellious as we are.

so this is a marriage made in heaven for wimpy men who can't approach women?
hmm
I hope he at least tells them if his something is in working order.
So you believe some aunty would know what you want in a wife better than yourself?
this is ridiculous.

Also most so called "love" marriages are very imperfect because people are not the same way they are after marriage. Everybody pulls a front during courtship, then a year into the marriage you begin to find out who they actually are? so what is the difference between that and arranged marriage

The word perfection has no place in marriage my dear but I understand your context.
So if you're unable top live with a woman you courted for 2 years,the next best thing is to do go into the market place and do tum bom tum bom and pick a wife.

I have quite a few Indian friends here in the US, and most of them (Hindus, Christians, etc) do the arranged marriage thing. It seems to work for them, but that one can never work for me.

When the time is right, I will go back to Naija on my wife hunting trip, nothing will be arranged by my family.

I prefer love marriage but that doesnt mean an arranged marriage cant work.

Ok, may be someone has to really explain what is meant by arranged marriage. Are you telling me that you will marry someone you barely know and to whom you are not in love with in hope of developing the love?

May God help us all. Marriage is good only when properly done.

I'd like an Intelligently arranged marriage.
Where the guy and the girl are out together and not told anything, but little little isinuations are made to them suggesting they should go after each other.
Telling a guy/girl this is the person I want you to get married to is just plain dictatorship and simply out of vogue.

Even we as youngstars matchmake, but we don't force it, we just suggest it to our friends, cousines, etc.
Abi una no feel me.

But then love come with another game play entirely.

Arranged marriage is craziness!Mostly one gets the opposite of what you want.

like someone rightly said, arranged marriage no 'forced' marriage. also, to each, his own. some people no fit do arrangee. some people no mind. People who have been married for decades will tell you. Love is very important in a marriage;but committment is undoubtedly MOST important. in arrangee marriage, the parties usually enter it committed. the love comes eventually. arrangee and love marriage all get who e de work for.

Good point, which do you prefare?

Love rocks. Love marriage for ever. It's not easy to do arrange again unless either the person is spineless or the conditions are in the most unusual.

Arrangee marriage could be sweet, look at it as blind dates, lots of mystery and hidden links attached.

Just go to the airport, ask her, are you my new wife? And she will nod her head with that charming first smile, and you take her home and try to learn so much about her. Your wont expect much from her and your expectation wont be too tall. Thats why is will work, she will always try to measure up to your needs, to please your parents and make it work.

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Love My Dear

Any 1 of dem provided let God has a hand on it bt certainly i prefer love marriage