somegirl,I get your point exactly,I have been there before.You are like falling off a cliff and all you are holding on to is a reed of grass,you know you should let go of it,but you just do not want to,but you will still fall anyway.Sorry sweetheart,it will be alright.

Na wa o! He told me tonight that I could help in a better way by simply hoping that x (a friend of his) will obtain assurance for his university transcript. That was after I had sent him a link to a thread in the job forum. A “thanks” would have been more appropriate. What bothers me even more is that, though he knows that I worry that he will miss the deadline again, he does not tell me that somebody is actually doing something about the missing documents. According to what he told me while he was up North with the NYSC, I would have expected that nobody but him could do that. Or why else could he have said that he couldn’t do anything about the transcript until he would get back home? And if you wonder why I don’t ask HIM: He won’t tell me.

Snazzydawn, thanks for your sympathy. I hope you don’t mind me asking (and you can feel free to ignore the question): That situation you’ve been in yourself, was it a relationship as well and where you able to solve your problems?

Why would I ignore you?of course it was a relationship but I was lucky to wake up on time and walk away.

sorry somegirl, i hopw things will be alryte for you, just gotta be tough like eslynera. she's young but she's been through alot, . i hope things go okay. good luck

sounds like he is cheating on you.

Just be prayerful if he belong to you he will definitely change.

Just be prayerful if he belong to you he will definitely change.

Snazzydawn, I was just saying that you can ignore my question (if you considered it too private).

somegirl: According to what he told me while he was up North with the NYSC, I would have expected that nobody but him could do that. Or why else could he have said that he couldn’t do anything about the transcript until he would get back home? And if you wonder why I don’t ask HIM: He won’t tell me.

He told me now that his friend couldn't have done it without certain papers that are/were in my boyfriend's house. So, I asked him whether x had the papers now and he said HE DID NOT KNOW! How can that be? When I further inquired, he said he won't talk to me about it again since I don't understand anyway. He will tell me once he has succeeded. He did not even know whether x got the papers? Why? Was somebody supposed to give it to somebody who would give it to another person who might see x and give it to him and my boyfriend has just not yet received confirmation that the papers reached the addressee? Was he drunk last time he saw x, now the papers are gone and he wonders whether he gave them to his friend? Or is x such unreliable that he might have lost the papers by now?

Questions over questions ---  ! You could help me answer the following:

somegirl: What does one need to do to get one's transcript from UI? How long does it usually take? Thanks.

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-23894.0.html

Yea, right. I agree with everyone who asked you to dump him. He is crazy. He is mad. Maybe depressed. Or confused. Or maybe he's gay - have you had sex with him before? Don't pray, it doesn't help. Go ahead, and dump his ass. Chikena.

Why are you talking like this? What happened to you today? Why do you mock me?

Girl he's move on wit someone else. Better wise up and move on too

I do think he loves me but I don’t remember him saying it. He wrote me poems in the beginning, love poems just for me. He doesn’t do so anymore. I remember one evening when he brought up the topic of getting married and having children. For me it was way too early back then and I asked him not to talk about it yet. However, I did like that he had touched the matter because I took it as a sign for his seriousness and since then he has been avoiding it.

I know I am pressing him hard at the moment to do what I want him to do so that we can be together. The thing is that it always seemed that he wanted to do exactly that what he now seems to be reluctant to persuade. Yes, the application I hope he will send of soon is not for his favourite country, in fact it is not even where I would like him to go if I could decide. However, the UK is too expensive for a non-EU student if you’re not rich.

Call me stupid, but I think he loves me. To me he seems depressed and confused, not crazy nor mad and definitely not gay. When he tells me he doesn’t love me, I wonder if it is just a flinching to protect himself so that nobody can get close enough to hurt him. I know I’ve caused him pain over the last couple of months but so has he when keeping quiet about the things in his life.

Unfortunately, I was raised completely in Europe, unfortunately I have not spend enough time in Nigeria to understand the little information he sometimes shares with me. Unfortunately, he has never been here and has never experienced the difference. When I question him it might often be because I know it differently from here and the parts of his story he leaves out I fill with bits of life in Europe which makes it an all-confusing picture.

He has said now he doesn’t love me but how can I take it seriously when in the same breath he says other things that are not true, that he knows that I know they aren’t true. I wonder if he just says it to hurt me so that I will break up with him. He even advices me to do so and then he says he’s confused. Confused about what? He says he doesn’t love me – one might think he was sure about it if there was not this defiant undertone in his voice (you demand an answer, so let me give you a “no”) and then the avowal that he’s confused. Just a few days ago he was still saying that he is thinking of me, in a language that is so hard for me to understand.

I had hopped he would realize from this thread that the tiny amount of information he let’s me have would cause a many people to draw certain conclusions (I didn’t expect that they would be that many though). It doesn’t seem to have worked an I’ve decided to wait. What else should I do? Don’t say “leave him”.

But I know if he will not start SHOWing me his love (despite the distance), my love for him will fade away over time and, one day, I’ll meet somebody else. Not necessarily somebody I like more, maybe even somebody who could never compete with him if I had had a real choice, but somebody who is here and not somewhere far away on another continent. Olufe, I know you’ll read this and I want to tell you: For now, I (still) love you.





Tell me why
What did I do?

Just the other night the love of my life went away
And I can’t sleep at night it’s driving me crazy
Why can’t you see that I miss looking in your eyes
Why can’t you see that I miss kissing you at night?

I still love you
Please take my hand
Let me help you to understand
Ain’t nobody gona love you like I do
Ain’t nobody gona do the things I do for you

Tell me why when I call you at home
You say you're with your friends, don’t call no more
Why can’t you see the love that’s right in your face
Why can’t you see that I don’t want no one to come and take your place

Have you watched your ways to know if the fault is actually from you or ,

somegirl:

I do think he loves me but I don’t remember him saying it. He wrote me poems in the beginning, love poems just for me. He doesn’t do so anymore. I remember one evening when he brought up the topic of getting married and having children. For me it was way too early back then and I asked him not to talk about it yet. However, I did like that he had touched the matter because I took it as a sign for his seriousness and since then he has been avoiding it.

I know I am pressing him hard at the moment to do what I want him to do so that we can be together. The thing is that it always seemed that he wanted to do exactly that what he now seems to be reluctant to persuade. Yes, the application I hope he will send of soon is not for his favourite country, in fact it is not even where I would like him to go if I could decide. However, the UK is too expensive for a non-EU student if you’re not rich.

Call me stupid, but I think he loves me. To me he seems depressed and confused, not crazy nor mad and definitely not gay. When he tells me he doesn’t love me, I wonder if it is just a flinching to protect himself so that nobody can get close enough to hurt him. I know I’ve caused him pain over the last couple of months but so has he when keeping quiet about the things in his life.

Unfortunately, I was raised completely in Europe, unfortunately I have not spend enough time in Nigeria to understand the little information he sometimes shares with me. Unfortunately, he has never been here and has never experienced the difference. When I question him it might often be because I know it differently from here and the parts of his story he leaves out I fill with bits of life in Europe which makes it an all-confusing picture.

He has said now he doesn’t love me but how can I take it seriously when in the same breath he says other things that are not true, that he knows that I know they aren’t true. I wonder if he just says it to hurt me so that I will break up with him. He even advices me to do so and then he says he’s confused. Confused about what? He says he doesn’t love me – one might think he was sure about it if there was not this defiant undertone in his voice (you demand an answer, so let me give you a “no”) and then the avowal that he’s confused. Just a few days ago he was still saying that he is thinking of me, in a language that is so hard for me to understand.

I had hopped he would realize from this thread that the tiny amount of information he let’s me have would cause a many people to draw certain conclusions (I didn’t expect that they would be that many though). It doesn’t seem to have worked an I’ve decided to wait. What else should I do? Don’t say “leave him”.

But I know if he will not start SHOWing me his love (despite the distance), my love for him will fade away over time and, one day, I’ll meet somebody else. Not necessarily somebody I like more, maybe even somebody who could never compete with him if I had had a real choice, but somebody who is here and not somewhere far away on another continent. Olufe, I know you’ll read this and I want to tell you: For now, I (still) love you.





Tell me why
What did I do?

Just the other night the love of my life went away
And I can’t sleep at night it’s driving me crazy
Why can’t you see that I miss looking in your eyes
Why can’t you see that I miss kissing you at night?

I still love you
Please take my hand
Let me help you to understand
Ain’t nobody gona love you like I do
Ain’t nobody gona do the things I do for you

Tell me why when I call you at home
You say you're with your friends, don’t call no more
Why can’t you see the love that’s right in your face
Why can’t you see that I don’t want no one to come and take your place

(Amanda Perez - I Still Love You)

Hmmmmmmm, Life na wa

baby girl i want u to know that we r feelin your pain right now ,evry one of us, truly.and i want u to try nd feel better so that our sympathy for u wont go to waste. make sure u take care of yourself despite evry heartache nd be more thankful for other things.

nywayz, see there r a miliion and one guys in this world who have similar things to u, there r another million who would care bout u when ure dere and wldnt when ure not dere, there r another million who would talk about havin kids wit u, all im sayin right now is that there's life and there's hope. amongst all this guys put together, there's a right guy and that is d whole trick. he probably isnt d right one. see me nd many girls readin your posts have been through similar stuff nd we r tryin to reach out to u d best that we can, my dear girl, sorry but my whole post is going to come down to u 4gettin d guy. if hes d right one, nothin wil stop him frm comin back to u. also, i sense that hes found someonelse, baby see d sooner u move one, d better for u, psychologically and otherwise. i dnt knw what else to say but i just hope u reconsider my advice and stop carryin his burdens for too long, girl u knw u gats ta enjoy your life while it lasts and ure only young.

stay happy girl, im here for you!

somegirl,do not worry.everything will be okay.

@Somegirl, I know this is hard and painful and i hate to see anyone go through this. Heartache is always hard. I think if there is anything left of you guys relationship you may have to back up a little give him room, to run or stay. I had to learn my self i am 30 yrs old still trying to learn how to let someone go. The truth is you can not keep the person, if they dont want to stay. Think YOU now only YOU. Always remeber that you are the prize. You are special you know how i know, because you took time to ask forum about what they think! I hope that it works but if it does not you always have GOD and your self hang in there god bless you!

Helo my friend, i am nt sure when you will see him again, however, i am certain that someday you will find in someone new better qualities than those he had. Sorry it had to be that way, be positive, you never know what plans God has for you.
my name is bryte mail me at:odeyez@yahoo.com

odeyez:

Helo my friend, i am nt sure when you will see him again, however, i am certain that someday you will find in someone new better qualities than those he had. Sorry it had to be that way, be positive, you never know what plans God has for you.
my name is bryte mail me at:odeyez@yahoo.com

Whhhhhhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttt!
Anyways,Smart move bryte

girl, he ain't ur boyfriend. move on

Amanda Somegirl,

Lemme share something with you.
When I was back in Nigeria, I had a girlfriend. I was only 16 but I lov'd her so much. But I could not express it. She loved me dearly, she even took beatings for me, but I never responded apropriately (that's not the story). We drifted apart and 2yrs later, I left for the US to start a life with no family; I've gone through hardships . . . . hunger, racism . . . you name it.

Exactly 4yrs later since we drifted apart (I'm 21), I decided to call her up. I decided we had to talk. I sent my cousin to her house and I got her number. It was her voice alone I heard after 4yrs that sent my heart throbbing again. She's in Nigeria and I'm in the US and we're growing strong, filling the relationship with everything we haddn't said to each other back then. Do you know what i'll give to see her again? I'll give everything to get just 1day with her . . . or even an hour.

What am I tryn to say? Baby, when someone's your life, when someone is all you have in this planet of horror, she's everything. Nothing and no one else matters. I can tell you this because I'm right there, right now.

This guy of yours, should (if he loves you) be worrying about losing you. At this point, he'd do anything to fill in the gap his presence has left. You say he's intelligent, baby, he knows what he's doing. In my mind, I think you're holding on too long, you're becoming a pain. You're not important to him anymore.

I cannot let my girl feel an ounce of pain for me-- my reason being: I love her to DEATH. I'm planning to have a life with her; I'm even changing from my medical career to engineering just so I could be there for her and my kids later on. So you see, if he cares about your breaking heart, he'll steal to call you. He'd rob too.

I love you and I'm feeling you right now. But everything will workout, you'll be strong again in no time. You'll be past this and you'll be the best person you could ever be. Cry like you want to, and cry like you'll never. Mourn him for one full day, the next, you'll be a new lady.

I'm sorry.

I will advice u to start making your mind for the worst in the relationship because they say love is reciprocal. He looks not serious or commiteed to u. Have a nice day.

Macalurs, you should know by now that me and him both are very strong headed: One day, he'll breath in black and white and I'll own some space in his biography. Things are actually getting better: Every day I don't hear his voice I miss him less ---

By the way, I am impressed by your story. Leaving your home country on your own at the tender age of 16 (edit: 18, still impressed)? And you've made your way up to medical studies and now engineering (edit: about to be started)? Clap for yourself!

And @Kaytee --- abeg, don't listen to what he says about stealing, robbing etc. Kai!

u got it mixed up. I'm still in medical- but I'm switching to engineering. I left for US at 18. I didn't mean to impress you. . . . but compliments come in handy, so thanks.

I'm glad you workin it babe. Best'a luck . . . you merit it.

somegirl
i will appreciate if you are on line ,na wa for naija now o,so people don kolo like this wellwell for that country,anyway i am replying from london.If he loves you in the first place he wouldnt count it so expensive to talk to you at least 3ice a week.Are you so cheap?

Baby i feel uuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But what will u do, get up and move on, ok?
"just trus me" I can remember when i used to hear those words, and they never came to materialise.

Just wake up!!

why ask

up to something

Oga o.

Sorry sweetie but i dont think i have good news for you.
I have to go with most of the guys in here.

It doesnt sound like he is really feeling you the way you are feeling him.
About that being 'broke' line - how much would it cost to ring ya?

Where is he sef ?

Girl pray about this, and do whatever your heart tells ya.

hey somgirl,
honestly ur case is just like mine. the only difference thee is that it would be a year on the fourth. both of us are not yet of working class, far from that. he wnt to navy school which took him nine months, no contacts throughout the period. and when he came back first wek of lastmonth, i xpected him to call like he'd neva done b4 bt he didnt change, he called me less than 3rice. he's in calabar now n i'm in ilorin. you can imagine. I've alredy made up my mind that he doesn't luv me so i think u should make up ur mind in the same way. GUYS bleeps UP BIG TIME AND WHEn they O IT bleeps U down. GET smart lady. so u wont end up cryin.
CHEERS!!!!!

adeboo:

Oga o.

Sorry sweetie but i don't think i have good news for you.
I have to go with most of the guys in here.

It doesnt sound like he is really feeling you the way you are feeling him.
About that being 'broke' line - how much would it cost to ring ya?

Where is he sef ?

Girl pray about this, and do whatever your heart tells ya.

gal dats just da truth.

Sister

I'm sorry that you are going through all this tough time. Now everyone is telling you to move on, this or that, not even considering that the guy might be dying thinking about you every day. Sometimes you ladies don't know how we (men) handle tough times like depression, rejection, financial hardship and so on. The fact remains that many of us don't talk and not only that we don't talk we always think that we can fix it and that you ladies (should) understand and bear with us, everything will be okay. I'm not saying that this the right way to handle it, I just think that it's some kind of ego thing. Also that's what many young guys saw growing up.

What I would suggest is that if you can be bit more understanding and soon as you have money go and see him and talk things out, then you can make your decision. If you just take off now and you later find out that the case was opposite then you will regret, God forbid. Good luck.