wonders of NL. why cant we get this guy side of the story.

@ Poster

At 22 I must say that you have a very matured mind and I totally understand what you are going through, you have already formed the image of the type of man you want, a man that can take hold of the situation, make irrational decisions and can take serious steps towards such decisions, he may not be that guy but the truth is that he loves you and that counts alot, no one is perfect and you must accept that.

My advice is that you stick to him, I am confident that you are strong enough to cover up for his misgivings

why dont people update threads?

Maybe the story is fictitious and the OP has decided to find something else to do, or the issue has been resolved and she can't be bothered to get caught up in it again, or she simply refuses to update the thread? All of that and then some . . . but hoo knoez

JJYOU:

wonders of NL. why cant we get this guy side of the story.

abi oooooo

howdy?its me busybein


@poster

u wanna leave him abi?ok naa pls do,but let me warn u now,dont u dare come back here and tell us uve regretted ur action


u claim to be smart but seriously u r not,u r just intelligent,u r not matured,and smart,cos if u r,u should know dat men cannot be forced into doing or discussing things  WHEN  they dont wanna talk about it,if u r smart enoff why havent u sat him down and slap his hands off when he wants to "kiss it away or make love" ?if u r smart enoff why havent u leanred d art of communication?

now let me tell u ma,men canot be forced into doing things,my dad is like dat,they have their way of doing things and dealing wt issues,u can't force them to do it ur own time,they do it their own time

madam if u smart enoff d first thing u ought to have done is "finding out how he handles issues,when he finds it convenient e.t.c

you have 3 big problems

1. u wanna always satisfy urself first b4 satisfying anybody


2. You dont wanna find ur own fault,u'd rather find faults in him alone,madam u r not perfect


3.you want things to be done at ur own time

deal wt ur issues first b4 dealing wt his

Hmm,  i wonder why she has'nt replied, 
Anyway, I agree with what some people have said,  there are two sides to every coin. Let's know what the guy thinks. However there's something he apparently said that really bothers me,  " Just marry me and let's get it over with, " That's just weird,

u can bend smoked fish to the desired shape only when the fish is still fresh out of water . not when it has become 'okporoko' then u attempt bending. my dear, some people make the mistake of thinking that marriage will change a guy. if this was 1963, then i will agree with that school of thought. but alas, this is 2009. times have changed; and so have people's views abt marriage. thing is - work out the differences u have with him before marriage. iron out those grey areas that make u uncomfortable abt him and if u are satisfied with the results, MARRY. because, personal experience & that of others have taught me that marriage is a life long thing. no be football match when referee blow whistle, everybody go im house.

I think youre worring too much. Marriage is about two people coming together to make things work. Maybe he has his bad sides, but I'm quite sure there is a good side to him that would make you even think about marrying him else you wouldn't have stuck with him for 5 YEARS.
Marriage involves two people and each person is expected to bring his/her own skills and make things work. My point is that in marriage, you should assist your spouse in whatever way you can in whatever aspect you can. Saying you're african and that you know your place paints a rather grim picture. There's nothing wrong in you being the thinker in the family if your guy is wanting in that aspect. He will definitely back you up when you're theone taking the initiative.

@ poster i thnk the problem here is you have a good guy but u finding it hard to comprihend, he might be funny or joke alot but that doesnt mean he isn't man enough, galfriend thnk God you got a guy who's overseas and he still cares about you. So stop pushing it MARRY HIM if you feel like it but if you Dont LEAVE HIM NOW and stop leading HIM ON.

This is boring. Sinc u're so mature,why'd it take u 5 years to figure out that u nd this guy r not mentally compatible? The problem is,many of u go into marriage with an unsuitable guy,deluding urselves that u can somehow miraculously change him. Well,u cant,and u need to accept that. In any case,we cant tell u what to do. It's ur decision,ur life,and u r gonna have to live with whateva decision u make. That's all.

having read all, i can say this brings us back to the question of "is there such thing as a perfect guy, husband,relationship, marriage?

@poster
if your description of him is anything to go by, he's a good guy. however no one is perfect, neither you. I think you are there to compliment him, if your own maturity is anything to go by at all, it is to help and compliment him and his weaknesses. for your information, you have your own wknesses too, but remember he loves you and make you happy and he's not doing bad in life, I bet if you dump that guy, you will live to regret it, it takes two people to make a marriage made in heaven to work on earth

.

You said you loved him and so i think you can mould him to become your dream husband.After all he has done for you,i dont think it is appropriate to treat  him this way,perharps you have your short comings too which is not communicated here except that you have duelled more on the guy's side.I also think you are a type who sees her self as an inland and cannot submit to another person's point of view,who knows if that is your only chance of getting married,and if you miss it,, i have a sister like you who has refused to marry even at 34 simply because she still duel on the issues of her previous relationship.