importexpert:
Op are u married? How old are u?

Aitee1:
She decides to marry early wahala she decides to wait till God knows when still wahala wetin una want us to do sef



Smh...humans a very highly insatiable creatures

agarawu23:
you are not making sense at all

what's next for a lady after her university graduation? she should be looking for job and a husband to settle down with.

when these set of ladies pursue their career and become old without getting married at the ryt time, we will still abuse them.

Hidentity:


Friend, you still don't get my point. If she has clearly defined goals even @ 18, she can marry, but my concern is that she did not even talk about learning something or working. May I ask you, is there no difference between marrying early and marrying without goals or self worth? I am against the second. You get me now?

Even if at 30, she talks like this, I'll still think that she is not in the right mindset for marriage, but if at 18, she has dreams and her own personal goals, why not? Age should not push anyone to marriage.

justmag:



really? A woman's goal should be a pursuit of her own happiness. This is not always marriage. This includes; exploring what they are good at. I will only want a woman in the process of exploring what she is good at.

sinizia:
Getting married is mostly the greatest or core achievement for many if not most women, especially for African women..

But for us men, getting money and being successful is our utmost goal...


But it's high time women stopped making marriage the height of their achievements. This is a mental slavery yoked on them by the society.

Aitee1:


Go find a job and get busy, stop carrying women matter for head like gala sellers abi you wan take over buygala talent

VictoriaBee:

True!

But, don't generalise.

Imagine a fool saying that a single woman is lonely as fvck - that's the highest fvcked up statement i've ever heard.

sinizia:


I didn't generalize. I said "MANY if not MOST" meaning it's not all women.

As for that fool, you shouldn't be surprised as his ilk are awash in Africa. You see them on threads about Genevive and Rita Dominic ranting "when are you getting married?"..... "Go marry old woman".. Etc.

I don't blame them, i blame the traditions, society and some religious dogmas that imbibed in their dumb brains that a woman that's unmarried is a lonely woman, frustrated or incomplete. Some of them can't afford to subscribe
for their monthly BIS.

Like Genevive needed to be married before achieving her fame, winning countless awards, owning different plush houses in different countries, getting several endorsements, driving the latest whips, traveling around the world, vacationing in famous resorts, being a superstar, etc.

I don't blame them, i blame our society in which they grew up in. Thank God I'm a man, i can decide to get married or not. No-one can force me against my will. If i need a child, i can do the Cristiano Ronaldo or Tuface style.

agarawu23:
you are not making sense at all

what's next for a lady after her university graduation? she should be looking for job and a husband to settle down with.

when these set of ladies pursue their career and become old without getting married at the ryt time, we will still abuse them.

kinglekan:


Permit me to disagree with you totally on this.

You see one of our major problems is that we are mostly trapped by beliefs, criticisms of others, the norms, standard created by others, etc.

Just like sinizia rightly pointed out, its merely been trapped by dogma. Life should be enjoyed and not trying to meet up with the expectation of others.

Sometimes I really wish I didn't have to grow up in Africa where we are predominantly given to this cycle of; Birth, Education, Money, Marriage, Have Kids, and Death

If this is all there is to living then life is boring and just vain.

There should be more to life than all these. Something that drives us, something we are passionate about.

Even if a lady pursues the above like you said, it still doesn't mean she would get applauded by all, so why care about what people would say?

Marriage is lovely, but then again its between two adults and not a lady and "what the rest of the world thinks".

A successful life shouldn't be defined by these basic things.

agarawu23:
you have your point bro, but let's judge with the Op 's conversation with the Lady (which brought out his confusion and question)

if it was a normal question I will know how to oppose or support the motion and I blv we cant reason same way.

VictoriaBee:

It's cool that we have right thinking men like you.

Your last statement is gender-chauvinistic!

kinglekan:


I get your point bro.

Looking at it from another angle, the fact that she responded that way doesn't necessarily mean she has no personal goals.

sinizia:


Gender chauvinistic or not, it's the truth. Realism trumps idealism. Men are the gainers in this scenario. How many men have you seen getting bashed for not being married? I can choose not to marry and have a woman born a child for me, and heads will not roll; but if a woman does so, the fangs comes out on her. She get all sorts of derogatory names heaped on her. It's sad, but it's the reality.

Before Peter Okoye married Lola, i saw comments like; "Lola, you no dey shame? You go just dey dey born pikin for Peter, after you no go still marry am." You see how she's getting bashed but no blame on Peter? That's why i said thank God I'm a man. No-one can try that bashing that comes with being unmarried on me. Never!!

VictoriaBee:

Well, the bashing is mainly on social medias by cowards.

In reality, no one dares confront her to talk rubbish.
Like someone rightly opined, internet has really given egoistic men an avenue to display their male-chauvinism.

In the real life, those accomplished ladies don't have time for online kids as they can't even be given an opportunity to converse face-to-face.

sinizia:


You just had to find a way to rub it in the face of us men, Miss Chimanda Adiche's stan?

agarawu23:
everybody gat his/her personal goal but you know say ladies get bus stop "make hay while the sun shine"

VictoriaBee:

Well, the bashing is mainly on social medias by cowards.

In reality, no one dares confront her to talk rubbish.
Like someone rightly opined, internet has really given egoistic men an avenue to display their male-chauvinism.

In the real life, those accomplished ladies don't have time for online kids as they can't even be given an opportunity to converse face-to-face.