Give it a rest, already.
I enjoy s*x, a lot — the act alone, encompasses so
many
options and opportunities for pleasure, connection
and
even exercise. I also talk about s*x in marriage a
lot,
usually with people who aren’t getting it right or
simply
aren’t getting it.
Most of the time, I work with couples to move them
toward “daily intimacy.”
But I find that most people assume that daily
intimacy
means s*xual intercourse daily. It doesn’t!
I define “intimacy” as loving experiences that bring
you
closer together (mentally, emotionally, and
physically) —
experiences that you couldn’t have in front of others
without making them uncomfortable, nor would you
brag
about paying someone to do them for you. (For
example br /> If you get regular massages from a
professional and might
consider Grandma accompanying you to a session,
then
that massage is not an act of intimacy for you.)
Having s*x every day certainly fits well within this
description of intimacy, and it’s a great way to kick
start a
new or a floundering s*x life. However, having s*x
every
day in marriage (or other long term relationships)
can
easily start to feel expected, mechanical,
monotonous, …
even lifeless.
s*x then begins to rank right up there with brushing
our
teeth or taking a shower; it feels good, but we don’t
do it
for enjoyment or deeper connection with each other,
we do
it out of routine or need.
Some couples get stuck in this monotony, while
others go
overboard trying to avoid boring, mechanical s*x.
They
turn s*x into a contact sport with assigned
positions and
sometimes even a team of players, all in a
desperate
attempt to keep things exciting.
As a woman, using s*x as a means to an end leaves
you
feeling as though YOU were the one used as a
means to
an end.
If the focus becomes checking off items on a
checklist or
successfully implementing the plays in a “how to
have hot
s*x” playbook, you’d feel like the ball in a soccer
game
being kicked around, until you reach the goal.
I don’t know about you but I need to feel like we’re
the
goal — like loving and building a stronger bond is
the
goal.
If intimacy is contingent on daily s*x acts (and
resulting
goal-oriented orgasmic explosions), a potentially
beautiful
experience then turns into an Olympic event. And I
must
say, there is a reason the summer games only
happen
once every four years!
s*x is NOT sport, it’s not even an outlet. No five-
point
spread, no pat on the bottom for a “good game.”
When we associate extreme s*x, or s*x in general,
as the
way to have a meaningful experience with one
another, all
other forms of connecting pale by comparison. As a
result,
we stop seeking the simpler moments … radiant
appreciation and quiet presence fall away. We need
endless drama and thrills. If we’re not having
Olympic
style s*x, we’re having stadium-sized arguments,
which
only disconnect us further.
Remember, I did say earlier that I love s*x (a lot).
My husband and I share a long-standing, star-
spangled-
banner s*x life, you know, with the rocket’s red
glare and
bombs bursting in air.
We also practice daily intimacy … but not always
daily
intercourse.
It feels good to reconnect with ourselves and each
other in
new ways as whole people, not just the sum of our
s*xual
parts. We come back together stronger, even more
aware
of each other and our needs. Our love grows ever
more
resilient and unbreakable. Win-win!
There are rules and recommendations across many
religious and spiritual traditions, such as Judaism,
Catholicism, and Hinduism that encourage
abstinence
periodically in marriage, either based on the
woman’s
menstrual cycle or the phases of the moon.
Here are five powerful, intimacy-building reasons
you
should not have s*x daily in your marriage br />
1. You remove the pressure to perform and reduce
the
focus on quantity (vs. quality)
2. You create space for more quality experiences
with
each other, across the full spectrum of intimacy
3. You find opportunities to re-discover and re-
awaken
YOU, as an individual.
4. Your partner gets to notice and be reminded why
they
love YOU, not just s*x with you.
5. You cement your bond in more than one way.
Even in baseball, we can’t win the game based on
the bat
connecting with the ball alone. The players need to
run,
catch, be aware of the other players’ positions,
communicate, and support one another. Not having
s*x
every day, doesn’t mean you disconnect from each
other.
On those no-s*x days here are some suggestions on
how
to still “play a good game” as partners br /> Flirt
with your spouse
Tease each other sensually and get comfortable
with
uncomfortable arousal
Talk about what’s important to you while lovingly
stroking
each other
Kiss
Sleep unclad together
Really look at each other, see into each other
Be playful and have fun
s*x is most enjoyable when it’s approached with a
sense
of discovery, exploration and appreciating every
moment.
After taking a timeout from having s*x, come back
to it
and let s*x be about what feels truly good and right
to
both of you and build on that; uncovering the buried
pleasure.
Turn “the game” into a loving, sensual adventure.

Copy and paste

From wer?

Cnt read something this long...might not even benefit me sef

Teempakguy:
Copy and paste

...and yet, he couldn't do it properly.

wenson:
From wer?

https://www.informationng.com/2015/06/5-reasons-why-not-having-sex-every-day-is-great-for-your-marriage.html?_e_pi_=7%2CPAGE_ID10%2C2777292313

Having sex everday in marriage? Who does that?

Caseless:
Having sex everday in marriage? Who does that?

i wonder