Well it was my
Whatever I do I cannot seem to please my husband, where am I going wrong?

rockhaven:

next time feel his pulse.next time if u want sex,dont ask him ,put his privates in ur mouth and keep sucking.im telling you it will solve all the problems in your relationship.give us a feedback.

bridget007:

He said he appreciated me making the food but I shouldn't have bothered as it wasn't 'proper' I should have asked for help from him

I thought ladies love men who appreciate and alwayz wants to help out! . . . . . . _{Don't mind me, was just being silly!}

@ bridget007: Looks like ur hubby is starting to lose his libido! Drastic situation requires drastic solution. . . that rockhaven guy really has a point, u know. More importantly, what syndrome does he exhibit, regarding work contentment, finances, accomplishment. . . these are things that can kill off any sex drive in a man. Perhaps a heart-2-heart will be in order like very soon.

All the best!

Dat man na case oh! But don't you think there are exceptions?

dont surprise him any more.

I'm sorry he said that. I guess I know how you feel. I am really bad at cooking , esp the things that my husband likes and I do remember days of spending hours cooking just only for him to taste it and then spit it out and say 'ummm can we order out?'

I think at the end of it all, he would like to have liked the food, but well it may not be what he is used to.
Think of it like food that someone made for you that just taste odd to you.

Well I hope that you'll can talk about it, I think you will see that he did not mean it in a bad way if you talk to him,


Maximum respect <3

I think the food was made with good intentions but turned out to be crap, he probably didnt want to hurt u by refusing to eat. . . The fact that he ate at all, means he ate with serious trouble, enduring a lot of $£%&**! in the process. . . u can imagine what was going thru his mind as he ate.
The rest is history.

For a naija man to have said he would've helped u cook a meal. . . it must've been seriously bad. You need to study your man, study what words mean to a naija man - we dont talk too much, and we never hit the nail on the head, but we expect u to understand.

Summary: The food killed his libido!

Mail me gideonenang@yahoo.com. i will tell you what to do. honestly speaking.

@ poster
i am so sorry to hear what happened to you, you seem to be a very good woman who anyone else would appreciate. unfortunately there are still men out there from Nigeria who do not understand that the simple things mean a lot which goes back to the question of if our men know the meaning of romance. Anyway if i were you the next time just ask him what he would like for his birthday or what ever occasion where you give gifts and save yourself from being angry while you were trying to do something nice.

I hope you also let him know that he hurt your feelings and people don't seem to realise when they have something good until it's gone.

rockhaven:

next time feel his pulse.next time if u want sex,dont ask him ,put his privates in ur mouth and keep sucking.im telling you it will solve all the problems in your relationship.give us a feedback.

Best advice ever!! Nnna men, u be Genius.

is he still seeing the Nigerian woman?

sistawoman:

is he still seeing the Nigerian woman?

why? cos he refused sex after a meal? A man will refuse sex if he's not in the mood pls, it has nothing to do with other women

bridget007:

Well it was my partner's birthday so thought I would do something nice,
So I spent all day running around to get yam's and ingrediants which in UK isn't always easy to get hold of.
I then made pounded yam, nigerian stew, suya beef and jolloff rice. I am white UK so of course they will never be as good as you nigerian women can make, but it was fine.

So when he came home I prepared his food, we ate and gave him his cards, a card of me with £50 and a card of our son. I sat with him as he watched football all night and then we went to bed. We cuddled and that was it, no sex, next day he said i was selfish for wanting sex? He said he appreciated me making the food but I shouldn't have bothered as it wasn't 'proper' I should have asked for help from him, but then it wouldn't have been a surprise.

Whatever I do I cannot seem to please my husband, where am I going wrong?

There lies the key statement in all the talk. . . The fastest route to a typical naija man's heart is through the stomach

The only reason I ask is because if I remember the story correctly he was cheating on her with a Nigerian immagrant and she was pregnant for him and wanted to leave her for the Nigerian woman.

I was just asking if this was the case still and maybe that is why he is short with her.

I am so sorry I confussed you with someone else.

this is the woman that is married to the brother from nigeria that married you to stay in London to go to school. The mom disrespects you, your husband disrespects you and you have not had sex for 9 weeks.

I am sorry that you are going thru this. I can only imange what it must feel like to have the person you love the most turn out be something else after marriage.

baby, you arent going wrong, it is a diversity of culture, it will take time, let him know he is not right all the time as well, it has to be a mix, keep trying for him, and he will blend, but, one thing for sure is this, HOW CAN YOU DENY A NAIJA MAN SEX ON HIS BIRTHDAY OF ALL TIMES?

i_laugh:

baby, you arent going wrong, it is a diversity of culture, it will take time, let him know he is not right all the time as well, it has to be a mix, keep trying for him, and he will blend, but, one thing for sure is this, HOW CAN YOU DENY A NAIJA MAN SEX ON HIS BIRTHDAY OF ALL TIMES?

SHE did not deny him HE DENYED HER.

@ i_laugh: I was actually going 2 warn u b4 sistawoman posted.

@ sistawoman, any need 4 quoting him? A simple reference 2 what he typed in caps would have been SUFFICIENT!

I'm sure the guy has left Nigeria for a long time because a naija guy would understand all the stuff you went through.
Either that or He would have prefered eba. PELE!

Okanran:

@ i_laugh: I was actually going 2 warn u b4 sistawoman posted.

@ sistawoman, any need 4 quoting him? A simple reference 2 what he typed in caps would have been SUFFICIENT!

I quote so that people are not confussed as to who my post is directed to.

Someone else could be posting at the same moment as me and they may think that I was posting to them. This stops all confussion and keeps the board happy.

I most always quote when I can.

@ sistawoman: no problemos!

whitelexi:

I think the food was made with good intentions but turned out to be crap, he probably didnt want to hurt u by refusing to eat. . . The fact that he ate at all, means he ate with serious trouble, enduring a lot of $£%&**! in the process. . . u can imagine what was going thru his mind as he ate.
The rest is history.

For a naija man to have said he would've helped u cook a meal. . . it must've been seriously bad. You need to study your man, study what words mean to a naija man - we dont talk too much, and we never hit the nail on the head, but we expect u to understand.

Summary: The food killed his libido!

that was so funny and so true.  

omaseo this boy and his wahala.

davidylan:

that was so funny and so true. 

Ehen na, just imagine, she said she spent the day buying the ingredients, she even mentioned she bought the yam itself. . .  My mind immediately went to oven roasted raw yam   That meal, especially that style, requires excessive care in the preparation. . .  If the yam is not properly pounded and has all those small balls of yam in it, it spoils the dish, and u need to remember that not all types of yam are good for pounded yam dish, there is a special specie that  produces the best result, correct naija people know which one i'm refering to

Then we now land at the soup. . .  That one is another day's story

My dear let's just believe that he wasn't in the mood for sex. And the food worsened the situation. Am sure that next time, you'll cook something more tasteful and finally, you would put on a more romantic night gown so that when he looks at you, he won't be able to resist the temptation.

I have two options for you to choose from.

1.     You can speak to him about it, so you can know what he is going thru at work or his life that could affect his sexuallity that much.  On the food issue, if you are very close to your husband and you are not from his cultural background, you can as well plead with him to teach you how to prepare his cultural delicacies, if not for anything but for some other time.


2.     Still on the food issue, you can as well contact any Nigerian woman in yur neighbourhood, who you think can teach you how to do the cultural food preparation.  But beware that you buy ingredients needed together and prepare it together, don't stray away, you can even jot it all down in black & white, but make sure your husband does not know about it, and how u did it, thats ur own secret.  *Note: There are some nigerian ladies out there who cannot even cook the local dishes themselves, so don't hit out on yourself so much.

Overall, I think u shud still talk to him about the whole issue.

Good luck & God bless.

okay, i get the jist now. The man didnt give his woman sex on his birthday? simple answer, he has so many women, he has to give them all sex on his birthday, so when he finally came home to his woman, he told himsle, I will have strength for this last one for the night, but when he got home, he was so so so tired, watched footbal and oh boy, the woman has to suffer, he slept off like a log of wood while the woman suffers the pain of no sex all night.

i_laugh:

okay, i get the jist now. The man didnt give his woman sex on his birthday? simple answer, he has so many women, he has to give them all sex on his birthday, so when he finally came home to his woman, he told himsle, I will have strength for this last one for the night, but when he got home, he was so so so tired, watched footbal and oh boy, the woman has to suffer, he slept off like a log of wood while the woman suffers the pain of no sex all night.

Okay, you have not got the gist yet, read the thread all over again