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I'm New Here, Hoping To Meet New Friends / Lets Make New Friends Here On Whatsapp Or Imo / Looking For New Friends (2) (3) (4)
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How To Make New Friends by oluwatomisin93(m): 5:10am On Jul 15, 2015 |
Moved to a new town, or even a new country? Or just a bit
short on friends right at the moment? Here’s how to add
new faces to your circle of friends.
We all need friends. Not heaps. For some people one or
two or three are enough. Other people want their social
lives to be like rush-hour traffic.
This is not the place to carry on about why friends are so
special – thousands of internet postings have done that
already. (You know the somewhat nauseating ones
arriving in your inbox with subject lines such as “What
makes a good friend?” My only answer to that would be
that a good friend who knew me really well would not send
that stuff to me. But then it’s Monday morning and I am
feeling grumpy.)
Friends come in all shapes and sizes, as well as all ages
and genders. You will know who your friends really are
when your life goes pear-shaped and you need some
support. A sobering thought is that you might get as much
support from them as you routinely give to others, so if
you’re not doing that, it might be time to make an effort.
Friends are just great to spend time with, for going with
you old haunts or new spots, or just sitting around at home
with you spending quality time in front of the TV together
eating chips and chocolates and whatever else you can lay
your hands on.
But in order to make new friends, you need to get out
there, though – no one is going to come and knock on
your door looking for friendship. So no more mooching in
front of the TV over weekends in your pyjamas, unless you
enjoy being a one-man band.
But there are a few tricks to making new friends, and it
isn’t always quite as easy as it looks on TV or in the
movies. Here are a few ideas:
Where to meet new friends
For the brave, there are internet dating/friendship sites, or
other social platforms. You might be lucky – and then
again you might not. At least in this way you can establish
certain joint interests before you meet, but the problem is
all you have to go on is what the other person chooses to
say about themselves. It may be true, and then again she
might not be telling you about the two restraining orders
previous friends have taken out against her.
Even when just meeting a potential new friend, never invite
them to your home the first time. Meet in a public place
that is familiar to you, and possibly consider taking
someone with you. Always let someone else know where
you are going. I might sound paranoid, but rather be safe
than sorry. Someone you’ve met on the internet is actually
still a complete stranger to you.
If you have a favourite coffee shop or other regular haunt,
and there is someone who hangs out there when you do,
sooner or later you will get it together to make a few
comments or strike up a conversation. Many people have
met new friends in supermarkets, at the gym, at work, on
their regular taxi/train/bus commute.
One of the best ways to meet new friends is via your
existing friends. Friends of friends are at least not a
completely unknown entity, as you would know something
about them before making them part of your world.
Accept all social invitations from your friends, and make
an effort with new people you think might become future
friends.
If you’re new to town and know nobody, join the poetry
club, or the tennis club, or the hiking club, or the
winetasting club – or whatever. You are likely to meet
like-minded people on these activities and maybe they can
become friends. At least you know you already have
something in common.
How to make contact
If you’re in the same place as someone else regularly, give
it some time and then start by acknowledging the other
person with a nod or a smile, and then take it from there.
Too much too soon can just look creepy or desperate.
Keep things casual and start off making short
conversations and possibly having a quick cup of coffee
together.
Never invite someone you don’t really know on a one-to-
one activity initially. If you’re stuck for a day outing with
someone who turns out not to be your type, it could be a
problem. Say you’re going wine-tasting with a group of
friends if she’d like to join you. That’s a low pressure
invite, as you’re going anyway. Movies in a group are
always good, as are braais or get-togethers at someone’s
house. Trying out a new pub or club with a group of
friends can also work.
Then you will also have an opportunity to check out your
potential new friend in a social setting, and see whether
her way of doing things speaks to you.
Danger signals
If someone latches onto you, and starts phoning
constantly, you could have a problem on your hands. You
could just ignore the calls, or you could make an
appointment for next month, and say you’ll speak to her
then.
Unless someone is new to town, it is danger signal if they
have no friends they have known for a while. Another
danger signal is if someone who has known you for all of
a few days tells you absolutely everything about their
personal life. This means the person has no boundaries
and this could spell trouble in the future.
What also isn’t a good sign is if someone starts
badmouthing some of her other friends or some of your
mutual acquaintances. Chances are next time she will be
talking about you.
Also, see if you are comfortable about the way the person
dresses, their drinking and smoking habits, and how they
behave around your other friends or your partner. Also
find out if their personal views and way of doing things are
compatible with yours. You don’t feel like discovering six
months down the line that you have a rabid racist on your
hands, or someone who is rude to waiters in restaurants. |
Re: How To Make New Friends by Update(m): 6:37am On Jul 15, 2015 |
& this is too much to read........ FTC! Whao....dedicated to ma nagging supervisor dah says i alwaz come late to work buh i guess diz jus proved him wrong....lol #singingcom&seewohtheLordhavedoneforme (nut even sure if it will make front page tho buh i only look up to God |
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