sparta:

Yeah, right get someone to do it but [size=16pt]please protect your children from her[/size], you dont want another set of lazy folks in your custody. It is enough that you have to deal with their mother. You need to see a movie called "aiye olomo kan". Mo le po tea, mol se custard, mo le gbe omi eba kanna but mo ti mo te."

Please protect your children o, Abeg, Laziness is a stigma on its own.

what is he protecting the child from? not cooking is not a virus.

JJYOU

Oga its not cooking alone that is the problem, i suggest you go thru the thread again. She cant even keep the home clean and i suppose her not been able to keep her job is husbands fault again.

@ Poster,

Why dont you talk to her any of her employers that you love so much and can do her job for her combined with yours so that there can be peace in the house.

She is plain lazy man, cant clean, cook, keep a job, run a salon, wakes up at 1pm (please dont stay in bed unless you can make money in bed), Loves partying and blah blah. On a second thought she is not just lazy but she can best be described as somebody with no future ambition. (NFA)

sparta she does not wake up at 1pm everyday. They have a child and the poster works so obviously the wife is the one taking care of the child unless they have invented a way to take care of a child in your sleep

.

tpia:

protect the children from who? Their mother? For what reason exactly?

because of a movie?

The children might need protection so that they dont learn laziness from their mother

.

tpia:

can you explain how to "protect" the children from this alleged laziness?

I cant explain it further. It is self explanatory

@ poster, i wont say am sorry for you, may be theres a reason for u to have married her, may be faith wanted you to change her, but u are in trouble, what u nid to do is simple, run away from her for some weeks, she will definitely come to her senses, u only go back to her on one conditions, she mus change, or if u cant do that, try this, stop giving her money for upkeep or reduce it drastically, dont take her to fast food to eat, just cook for urself, do things for urself in the house, and see if it will work, if this two options dont work, let me know, will think of somfin else, theres always a solution to every predicament, imposibility is nofin, hope she is not lazy in bed oh, if she is , then ur on ur own,

will kip this ur story in mind, when am ready to marry,

Poster, I so feel for you, On the other hand, there could be something wrong with your wife.
Did you notice any sign of laziness before you proposed to her?When did she have the baby (baby blues)? How does she act around you compared to before? She could be depressed. Try to spend some one on one time with her, Have someone take care of the baby, maybe for a weekend and try to find out what is going on. Talk to her not in an accusatory or put down manney but as a concerned and loving husband. She may not be lazy afterall, she may jsut be going thru some things emotionally. I hope you are already praying for her, otherwise start now. Its not too late. I wish you well. It would be worth your while to try YOUR BESTand save your marriage and not become another statistic.

@Poster
In here, you will get no proper solution apart form sympathy.

I suggest you both go for counselling like someone suggested.
You can also threaten divorce, or put her through some apprenticeship trade to boost/kindle her up.

@ OUTSTRIP

I would suggest you hit the game and not the player, i wonder what my dreams have to do with an open discussion, you realy need to learn how to fight without name calling. Thank God you are not the poster o, i wonder wetin you for tell me next.

yes the Children need to be protected so that they don't think their mother's way of life is normal. I dont support it when a man expects his wife to do all the chores because no man can try that with me but i can't stand a lazy woman either. Call a spade a spade, she needs to sit up and take charge of her home.

Hmm Hmm so sorry for your predicament, i believe you 100% cos it has happen to somebody very close to me while i was very young,i mean b4 my 20th birthday there was this far cousin of mine who got married(a society wedding)but unfortunately 6 months AFTER, lo and behold my cousin was returned by the husband with this same complain, he left a messagewith the guard for my dad( her uncle )which goes thus:sorry for the embarrassment i couldnt just cope with her,i love her dearly but i think she needs a little more time with you, looking forward to receive her back better than now.
WHAT A SHAME!!!
THAT NIGHT MY FATHER CALLED ME INSIDE HIS BEDROOM ,HE TOLD ME THAT I MUST BE READY TO BE A GOOD WIFE TO ANY MAN THAT WILL MARRY ME AND THUS THE JOURNEY BEGAN WITH THIIS MY COUSIN,ALL THE HOUSEMAIDS WERE DISCHARGED(I NEVER WASHED CLOTHS TILL I WAS 18,DOESNT ENTER THE KITCHEN AND THE LIKES B4 THEN)MY FATHER TRAINED US WITH THE HUSBAND AS CO-TEACHER .TODAY THEY ARE VERY HAPPY COS WHILE MY FATHER TAUGHT ME,HE TAUGHT HIS WIFE,AFTER 3MTHS THE BRO TOOK HIS WIFE BACK HAPPILY B4 WE CAME BACK FROM SCHOOLD BRO PLS TEACH HER IN LOVE

I remember when my dad stopped us from having maids live and do all the chores in the house.

Then my siblings and i thought he was damn wicked. We grew up doing all the chores with our

school works on the side , it only made us multi tasking as individuals and very independent.

I am glad he made that decision as i love a tidy home. I often raise my nose when i go to a

friends place and the house is all over the place.

I feel for you poster. I think you should be more firm in gettings things down. The fast food is a

no no as your child should be eating fresh home made food.

.

sparta:

@ OUTSTRIP

I would suggest you hit the game and not the player, i wonder what my dreams have to do with an open discussion, you realy need to learn how to fight without name calling. Thank God you are not the poster o, i wonder wetin you for tell me next.

yes the Children need to be protected so that they don't think their mother's way of life is normal. I dont support it when a man expects his wife to do all the chores because no man can try that with me but i can't stand a lazy woman either. Call a spade a spade, she needs to sit up and take charge of her home.

What the hell are you talking about. Can you quote me because you are writing crap that I never said. Where did I call you a name? Madness

Outstrip:

sparta she does not wake up at 1pm everyday. They have a child and the poster works so obviously the wife is the one taking care of the child unless they have invented a way to take care of a child in your sleep

I guess you didnt write this madam, maybe instrip did. Please i dont write crap, you seem a bit agressive though, you need to loosen up and be more polite, what has[b] madness[/b] got to do with this? I thought you were not into name calling?

sometimes depression can leads to lazeness. so my dear watch out.
Often people stop doing things they used to because they feel depressed,
but then they just end up slipping furthur into depression because they are under-stimulated. try talking things over with her and stop
the so much complaining especially to her parents it will only worsen the condition.

ROTFLMAO

sexyLeamon:

sometimes depression can leads to lazeness. so my dear watch out.
Often people stop doing things they used to because they feel depressed,
but then they just end up slipping furthur into depression because they are under-stimulated. try talking things over with her and stop
the so much complaining especially to her parents it will only worsen the condition.

thank you for common sence. it is so obvious there is a depressed young lady here. some nigerian men are comfortably married to evil, wicked, cooking and cleaning women .  

lovereigns:

Hmm Hmm so sorry for your predicament, i  believe you 100% cos it has happen to somebody very close to  me while i was  very young,i mean b4 my 20th birthday there was this far cousin of mine who got married(a society wedding)but unfortunately 6 months AFTER, lo and behold my cousin was returned by the husband with this same complain, he left a messagewith the guard for my dad( her uncle )which goes thus:sorry for the embarrassment i couldnt just cope with her,i love her dearly but i think she needs a little more time with you, looking forward to receive her back better than  now.
WHAT A SHAME!!!
THAT NIGHT MY FATHER CALLED ME INSIDE HIS BEDROOM ,HE TOLD ME THAT I MUST BE READY TO BE A GOOD WIFE TO ANY MAN THAT WILL MARRY ME AND THUS THE JOURNEY BEGAN WITH THIIS MY COUSIN,ALL THE HOUSEMAIDS WERE DISCHARGED(I NEVER WASHED CLOTHS TILL I WAS 18,DOESNT ENTER THE KITCHEN AND THE LIKES B4 THEN)MY FATHER TRAINED US WITH THE HUSBAND AS CO-TEACHER .TODAY THEY ARE VERY HAPPY COS WHILE MY FATHER TAUGHT ME,HE TAUGHT HIS WIFE,AFTER 3MTHS THE BRO TOOK HIS WIFE BACK HAPPILY B4 WE CAME BACK FROM SCHOOLD BRO PLS TEACH HER IN LOVE

bros teach her in love.  it is a duty to work this out in love. check there must be something wrong somewhere. this has nothing to do with laziness.

sparta:

I guess you didnt write this madam, maybe instrip did. Please i dont write crap, you seem a bit agressive though, you need to loosen up and be more polite, what has[b] madness[/b] got to do with this? I thought you were not into name calling?

So that is the insult you are talking about. Let me now give you a proper insult. You are an idiot. You better respect yourself and get off my back

Didn't you know this before you got married, from the sound of things it seems things have got worse.

The only advice I can give you is tell her if she does not change you will leave her and see if she changes.

kokorunna:

Didn't you know this before you got married, from the sound of things it seems things have got worse.

The only advice I can give you is tell her if she does not change you will leave her and see if she changes.

what if this doesnt work what next?

Sit her down and talk to her and if that doesn't work.

Then so be it, the guy is STUFFED.

So that is the insult you are talking about. Let me now give you a proper insult. You are an idiot. You better respect yourself and get off my back



@ outstrip

Now i can see its a habit, anyway, thanks and God bless.

And God bless you even more

@poster,

I'm sorry to hear this. May God give you another wife. Amen.

@michelin89,if she is unhappy,then why?i give her everything a wife could possibly want,i bought a car for her,opened,i a salon for her which failed cos she couldnt manage it,i try within,check if all my powers to be a loving husband,what else can i do.what?how can i be still eating at bukas at this stage of my life just because my wife cant cook.
unmarried guys out there take care and watch out before taking anywoman to the alter

What has she done for herself? She is not your puppy for goodness sake.

Just because depression isn't visible doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I know you said your doctor said he found nothing wrong with her, but is he a shrink?
A GP can't diagnose depression, it takes quite a few sessions for s shrink to even discover his / her patient is depressed!

As for someone on here saying the poster should threaten divorce, I'm stumped!

Siena:

Just because depression isn't visible doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

I know you said your doctor said he found nothing wrong with her, but is he a shrink?
A GP can't diagnose depression, it takes quite a few sessions for s shrink to even discover his / her patient is depressed!

As for someone on here saying the poster should threaten divorce, I'm stumped!

thank you my dear brother.

i thank you all very much for your words of wisdom,may GOD bless you all ,well according to what you have advised i will give her more time though i am very much tempted in just packaging and sending her to her parents as someone here suggested but i guess it will all bouce back to me tell you what i am going to do,i am going to go on a very long vacation away from her b4 i lose my mind.

No need to travel sir,afterall she is not battering you,hmm REAL MEN DOES NOT RUN AWAY FROM CHALLENGES ,THEY STAY TO DEVISE SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM..
God will help you.

have you really taken time to to with her?if you have tried all thing and it is still the same,then you need a marriage councel and pls, dont try to protect the kids from there mom cos she is going to need all the love and support to pull out of the predicament.