I'm in love with this girl (who also happens to be a Nairaland member).

Now, the thing she's not just any girl she's more like family. I've know her since i was little, my cousin's married to her sister and our families have maintained a very close relationship eversince. We are family,though not by blood but of many years of good family history.

Now the thing is, will having a relationship with this Girl be ok/proper? Being that we are more like family?

She's the only person that makes my heart beat faster and slower all at the same time, but still I feel our relationship will not go down well with everyone. Every time I look into her eyes, I say to myself "i'm in trouble". Because I know i'm in trouble.

What do I do?

i say go 4 it!!!! yall r not connected by blood! if to say d same blood was passing thru yall then that's not cool!!

I say go for it... ! Nothing more or less. She's not ur blood. Tell her you love her and Go for it. I just pray she loves you.. as much as u do.

Ask her out, if she agrees to it, date her, wed her wtv you want to do. i don't see anything wrong with this one at all, if anything it should make both families happy and strengthen the bond.

Nothing wrong here. U aint related by blood. U r only related by conjugation and i think u and the girl conjugating would only make the bond between d 2 families stronger.j/kidding
Sincerely...go for her. Nothing wrong in that.
Since she's a NL member...we could help convince her. Lets know who she is (if u don't mind).

I do not see anything wrong here but if, each time you look into her eyes, all that comes to mind is "you're in trouble", then make sure you deal with that before you eventually make your move. Remember: "As a man thinketh in his heart so is he" If all u see in your mind is trouble, then hold on until you begin to see favour!!!

All the best.

by the power vested in me, I declare this to be a sin.

Why, wat's the sin in it?

He does not use proper grammar when speaking to himself.

That's the sin, u funny

wow was up guys

I don't think the bad part is dating (as long as there is definitely no blood between you), it is the breaking up that may create a family problem.

You guys should date on the down low first and then if you both think it is true love, take it to your families.

My guy there notting bad in it go for her and find out if she love you too before u take it up to the both families.

@ damygurl, hot-angel,layi,oluwizard
Thanks for the encouragement , i wish it was that simple but it's not.

@Scorpio
I've already asked her out, but she's very bothered about how her folks and mine will react to the whole thing.

@ layi
"Since she's a NL member...we could help convince her. Lets know who she is (if u don't mind). "
My brother it will take more than NairaLand to convince her,trust me...,

She says for now, we should not date, cos she's not ready for our 'perculiar' kinda relationship,because of how our folks may react . But if i was any other guy, yes definately.
i've decided to give her time to thinkn things through.

I love her, so i'm willing to wait. It all may seem simple , but i think if yu were in my shoes 4 a day you'd see it's not as easy as it seems.

@allonym
Can i get free "grammar" lessons. I'm open minded :-)

@dablessed
"each time you look into her eyes, all  that comes to mind is "you're in trouble", then make sure you deal with that before you eventually make your move."

When i said "trouble" i meant i'm in a fix, not trouble an in 'trouble'

Can you guyz just forgrt about the people around you 1st and see what amount of love u have for each other. If u both love each other so much, then u will solve the problem together yourselves.

If I may ask: If God says He is going to bless u with a lot of wealth, will you tell Him 'no' ask Him to wait just because of what people are going to say? Or if you are given a US green card without any boggle will you reject it just for what people around you will say?

Ore, leave da runs and face live face2face. You know what is best for u, go for it.

@ Olamide, would it be okay if you spoke to someone elderly in your family just to clear things. for example, your uncle, you don't have to mention your names, just make up a story of your type of relationship and then ask him about what he thinks. if he says it's ok, then talk to her about it. i don't blame her for being scared and all, she prolly needs to understand what she's getting herself into. oh when i said uncle, i meant an older one, you know, the type that really understands stuff from the traditional point of view. goodluck.

@ scorpio
"would it be okay if you spoke to someone elderly in your family"

funny how humans reason alike sometimes.
I've already done this. she brought up idea, so i decided to ask my dad[he's over 60 so i think he qualifies]. used the old 'a-friend-of-mine....' story to ask him and he said, that type of relationship is ok by tradition and that it is encouraged, and it keeps their families together and all that. Before then she's been hammering on "tradition does not allow this", after I told her what my dad had said, she said she'll find out the biblical point if view.
If I ever get to spend the rest of my life with this girl, i'm going to write a bestsekller on our story......

Since your dad said it's ok traditionally, i think it's fine. i haven't come across any verse in the bible where it says this type of relationship is prohibited. me thinks she's just scared, maybe she thinks you're goin to rush her into marriage and she prolly isn't interested in that right now. I think you should give her time[ to find out for herself], don't rush her and still stick with her, hopefully, she'll see things and you guyz should be fine k.

I think both families will love you guyz for fallin in love,cos its only gonna make the family bond stronger....
who knows ur baby brother may also fall in love with one of the baby girl in the other family,its gonna be a very big family indeed...

Olumide, I've been keeping mute and skipping this thread not because I don't know what to say but because my view on this is not popular considering the people who have given you a thump up and endorsed your go ahead.

But on the contrary, I won't endorse your go-ahead, and this may not go down well with you.
This is because I know how you feel when you're in love.
Since you said in your post that you're more or less a family, then I will advise that you let the good family friendship go on without itch.

This relationship may be frowned at by the girl's families and entranged your family's relationship with theirs if not properly handled.

But then above all, read your heart and I know from your post your heart is telling you "it's not right" don't go for it.
So, Olumide a word is enough for the wise and since the lady is a member of this forum let her read this and make up her mind.
You find love somewhere else.

@Greatpeter:Greatest Peter , i knew yu were avoiding thus thread on purpose ,that's why i sent you the personal Message requesting your contribution.

I think you should always give your opinion on any post whether your view's popular or not. like they said on the Oputa panel "Mr. Chairman, that is his opinion, he has a right to it".

If I needed all thumbs up opinions, I wouldn't be on Nairaland. Thanks a lot for your contribution. She's been reading the thread, but rather not contribute.

ha a! Olumide you got me.
Are trailing me?
Omo iya mi, jowo mase oo.

Pls no do no do.
I know how you feel.
I was in your shoes before so I understand your feelings right now.
But be a man and be yourself.

i still say go 4 it!! falling in luv is not sumthing u can switch on and off. families r supposed to stand by u no matter wat so if they luv u they will still be by u even if they don't like ur desicion. it's ur life and u have to make d best decision 4 urself not on if ur family will like it or not cuz wat ur family might like may not make u happy

They won't stand by him if he falls in love with a fellow family member, as in first cousin and all that ish.

Confess your love for her. There are two outcomes:

1) Your family will be unaffected and say congratulations

2) Your family will disown you. Since you are no longer a member of the family, there are no longer any prohibitions against you two getting together (except her family's displeasure which you will ignore).

allonym! I agree with you!

i do too

@allonym,
it's not that easy. we are talking about family here. no one wants to be disowned by their family. we can say it's none of their bussiness who we fall in love with but it's our bussiness to reason with them and understand why they are not in support of that relationship.

i would not be totally happy to know that my family is not in support of my relationship. that would really hurt. but then again, we can't give up the one we love just because they asked us to especially if their reasons are not rational or concrete.

It's not easy like that for a family to disown someone for a flimsy reason like this one. If a man/woman decide to disown all their children, who will take care of them in their old age? They can threaten fire and brimstone against you, but if they are normal they have no choice but to accept the person you've chosen in the end. Do you think it's easy for someone to disown a child after taking care of him/her for decades? THis is like throwing the fruit of your labor away!

As someone said earlier, the real danger is in what would happen when you break up with this girl. Go ahead and hook up with this girl as soon as possible, so that if you're going to break up you'll do that quickly and get on with your lives knowing that at least you gave the relationship a chance!

Seun, Seun, Seun, you make it sound like the couple would definately break up

lets give the young couple a chance, though i agree that the real danger will happen if they eventually break up. that is if they would

he's not saying they would break up. He's saying that them breaking up has a higher probability of happening than his family disowning him. So, he should put that worry to the back of his mind, and concentrate on his relationship

Mr Africa self deleted his posting on this topic, my apologies.

Mr Africa