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I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. - Family (8) - Nairaland

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I'm Tired Of My Marriage!!! Please Help / Long Distance Marriage And Trying to conceive a baby / Can Long-distance Marriage Work Out Between Newlyweds? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by kuulkyd(f): 8:08am On Jul 31, 2015
tellwisdom:
Look at you. Why bother when you can give me a call to come keep u. Do u even have big yansh to start with? sad
Chai, see waste of labour pain. She's a mother of 2 for Christ sake, if u don't have respect for urself, pls pretend to have for others, especially women.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Nobody: 8:09am On Jul 31, 2015
long distance relationship is a sh1t sad
talking from experience... sorry,I'm not good at advising nd ain't here for that either; to all the singles and not dating crew,plz don't get into one no matter how sweet your partner is,I know you'll say "I can deal with it" blaaah! I said that too
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by hayor93(m): 8:37am On Jul 31, 2015
prinwa:
I never wanted to marry obodo oyibo husband, I have always wanted to marry someone in Nigeria. And he never told me it was going to be like this. Most times I feel I rushed into it.
dat's d mistake!!!
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Jorussia(m): 8:47am On Jul 31, 2015
AleAirHub:

Good morning Jorussia
Same thing happen to our co-tenant in benin - city, the lady waited for good whole 17yrs before her husband finally relocated to Nigeria. But the lady was tempted along the line and the whole issues was resolve base on Benin Traditions. So they are happily living together for good since the lady husband relocated.... My advice for Her is to keep praying and trusting God for Miracle.
That's a true situation of things here,my brother.prinwa has no reason to complain,because, there are many ladies whose husbands are oversea and they fasting and praying day and night to see their husbands once in a year,with no breakthrough at all.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by jossypet(m): 8:51am On Jul 31, 2015
You probably did not do your homework well b4 saying 'I do' to him. Nevertheless, there's nothing impossible with God. While u pray to God, humbly n wisely let your husband know that u're not ok with the form of marriage u both are practicing. It is opening doors for the enemy to creep in. U both need to be together. Lastly, pls DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT consider divorce. Trust God. That's the best option. Grace 2u
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by josite: 8:53am On Jul 31, 2015
stop harrasing him.do as much as you can to legitimately get yourself financially secured,like setting up a shop/business or getting a good job.When you have up to 5/10m.Give him ultimatum to either come home or take u guys with him or serve him with divorce papers,the way you are going,you will sooner than later allow another man to start handling with your boobs and the rest will be history.It is a mistake you made marrying him,having the first kid for him and then going ahead to have the 2nd kid in an unsettled marriage.Accept youve made a mistake and the issue is do you want these mistakes to ruin your entire life.you marry to have regular sex and companionship and you are not getting it and very soon you will become less and less mentally and emotionally unstable.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by G3n3sis: 8:55am On Jul 31, 2015
prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please. cry
sad cry undecided shocked
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by nairalife2013(m): 9:00am On Jul 31, 2015
Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?
love is very strong when it.s genuine. There are women that such estrangement can cause serious break down and other psychological blows. My wife is more attached to me than our kids. Itz unbelievable that any time I refuse to talk to my wife or see her for up to 48 hrs she falls sick with hot fever and tremor. U wont believe but Itz just as simple as that. Thanks goodness the lady is not used to him line hook and sinker kind of.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ModiKen(m): 9:09am On Jul 31, 2015
Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

Emotionally she feels pains.

There is an immeasurable feeling u get from physical presence of the one you love.

The kids could be good company; friends and relatives as well but nothing compares to the physical touch, kiss, sight, smell of ur darling darling. cool

Prinwa tell ur husband how u feel. Explain to him in detail what u are going thru due to his absense and how it is affecting d kids.

He may be too focused on making money and forget how much his presence is needed in ur life and dat of ur kids.

If he truly loves u, he would start thinking of either working papers for u guys to join him or relocating to naija.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Truckpusher(m): 9:10am On Jul 31, 2015
freecocoa:
Being with you must be suffocating, given this statement.tongue
Women are even the ones that suffocates men in a relationship with their chewing gum attitude - you can't even be somewhere without explaining yourself like a primary school boy does explain himself to his Mom about his whereabouts. cheesy
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ezenik: 9:10am On Jul 31, 2015
My advice,you can't put your hand on plough and look back,you most stay in that marriage,I know the physical,emotional feeling will be there,the only advice I can give you is that to find way to do it yourself if you can't bear the emotion instead of having boy friend,because that will worsten your marriage and you will regret at the end. God bless you
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ezenik: 9:11am On Jul 31, 2015
My advice,you can't put your hand on plough and look back,you most stay in that marriage,I know the physical,emotional feeling will be there,the only advice I can give you is that to find way to do it yourself if you can't bear the emotion instead of having boy friend,because that will worsten your marriage and you will regret at the end. God bless you and pray
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by adedayourt(m): 9:12am On Jul 31, 2015
prinwa:
Hi
I am a lady in my late 20, I have been married for 5years now. My husband come back once in a year, I am getting tired of the loneliness and lack of sex, though I have never cheated on him. I just feel I made a huge mistake. I have 2 kids for him, and I try to keep myself busy in order to avoid temptation. My husband. Doesn't have another wife apart from me, recently I asked him about our papers and he said he doesn't want us to come and live there permanently , but we can visit and go. I want to be together with my husband. I am really getting tired of the whole situation. My children are growing up with out him and it is making me unhappy. I need your advice please. cry

AM VERY SORRY TO SAY THIS THOUGH.

for a man to marry and abandon his family in this manner is the height of irresponsibility as a father and a husband.
am avin a second opinion bout d value he places on his wife nd family nd i doubt his nt avin ........

You need to call him back to order befor ur kids strts to refer to der father as mum's frend
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Nobody: 9:15am On Jul 31, 2015
Luyeanka:

In your senses, you feel it's smart to offer advice without background knowledge of the problem. That shows your level of smartness. The OP did as I said and now she's getting better advice from wise people. Dear, get therapy, motherly love or Jesus, you need at least one of these.

Sorry for the way I talked to u. Was in a bad mood and its never in my character to be unfair to pretty girls like u.

1 Like

Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Shigobaba(m): 9:17am On Jul 31, 2015
The best solution to your loneliness is to go and get an attachment that will make you happy.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by royal101(m): 9:18am On Jul 31, 2015
Prinwa Inbox me your Digit i have a very important solution for you and it will be personal communication via phone...
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by brodalikeme(m): 9:19am On Jul 31, 2015
Sowie my dear. This is part one of ur marriage, which involves getting married, having kids, and preparing for the next stage. Now is the time to start part two, which will be raising your kids living togather and gaining financial stability. Go back to the drawing board and discuss this next phase. Let him know how you feel and what harm the distance is doing to the marriage. ULTIMATELY, IT IS TOO EARLY TO GET TIRED. AT YOUR AGE YOU SHOULD HAVE PLANNED TO STAY MARRIED FOR AT LEAST 50 YEARY, FIVE OUT OF FIFTY IS VERY VERY SMALL. Stay strong my strong my friend!
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by asiwajumi(m): 9:20am On Jul 31, 2015
prinwa:
Initially when we got married he told me he will prepare my papers, which he did but it didn't work, because i already had my daughter, so the embassy said that he doesn't. Have enough income to take care of me and his daughter. We kept on trying over and over again but nothing. Seems to work. Now i have another baby who is 11months old. My daughter gave him alot of space. My concern now is that he told me February this year that when he gets back to Europe that he will apply for his citizenship, so that it will be easy for him to take us. Up till this moment he has not applied for it. He is taking good care of financial, i won't deny that. But i need companionship, i need a man in my life. I feel empty with out him. I don't want my children to grow without their father.
step 1 .invite him back home. Step 2. Prepare his favourite dish. Step 4.let him enter your bed room when kids are at sleep. Step 3.. Kneel down and hold his legs and let him understand your pain. My advise as a solution is . Tell him to come back in nigeria to set up a business. at least 5years for that place no be moimoi .I summit
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by brodalikeme(m): 9:20am On Jul 31, 2015
Also pray at it, God sees your heart and if your motives are right and you have faith, He will answer you.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by tellwisdom: 9:21am On Jul 31, 2015
kuulkyd:

Chai, see waste of labour pain. She's a mother of 2 for Christ sake, if u don't have respect for urself, pls pretend to have for others, especially women.

Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by dejdel(m): 9:42am On Jul 31, 2015
Jorussia:
OP,i quite understand your feelings.this scenario is very common here in benin city.You are very lucky that your husband comes home every year, as there many women here in benin, whose husbands have not come home for than 5years and they have endured. I know of a young pretty law graduate,whose husband has been away for about 2years now,and she has endured it.A lady in my church, waited for almost 10years for her husband, who should be in Nigeria anytime soon.I don't support long distance marriage, but i urge you to continue to pay the sacrifice of endurance to keep your marriage.
nice one bro,you've said it all..I'll advice you to be very strong for him and turn deaf to any side talk.The children and the dude gesture towards them alone has shown the commitment of your husband in this marriage. I want to tell you that what he's doing presently is neither for himself or you,it is for the children. It takes time to get stabilise over there,all you gat do now is to support him with prayer and holding yourself strong and keep the family going.You will surely laugh last. Your husband is for real...May be I should round up with this..."If you believe this place is good for you and you are okay here,pls hang on"..President buhari to Nigerians in USA.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by phenol33(m): 9:48am On Jul 31, 2015
MarvellousGod:
Her marriage is five years old already and I'm sure the law wasn't like that then.... Don't know about the present law though...

Op, if he told you the marriage was going to be like this but you still went ahead, then I wonder what your headache is... You don't want obodo oyibo husband again?
don't mind her she want to travel with him the next thing is to divorce him and run with his kids and money
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by menxer: 9:55am On Jul 31, 2015
Brandnew2:

I'll strongly suggest you should stay married for better for worse.
How do you get lonely with 2 kids tho'?

I guess she meant "emotional & sexual loneliness" which her kids can't fill, or am I missing your point?
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by menxer: 10:02am On Jul 31, 2015
let's be sincere, is it possible for a virile man to have sex once in a year? grin

na wa ooo, long distance things!
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by gynazo: 10:21am On Jul 31, 2015
noblegrex:
Talk to your husband again,again n again to knw your plans n his to settle down with him.then, u should knw y he doesn't want u over their yet.then try to understand his plight. Bt u said u have two kids,not One. Hm,pls take care of your kids n don't make that mistake else,not all that glitters is Gold.u pray for husband uve got 1,u pray for kids uve got 2 n without doubt I'm sure u r comfortable as regard your finances, I beg leave d rest n stay content else...

This is one of the very noble advice here.
"All that glitter is not gold"
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Nobody: 10:31am On Jul 31, 2015
Brandnew2:

I suggest you get one.
no honestly you are the one who needs to get a life.. You posted total crap to be frank.. s-ex gadgets really? smh
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by ekamavictor(m): 10:31am On Jul 31, 2015
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tellwisdom:
[color=#000099]Look at you. Why bother when you can give me a call to come keep u. Do u even have big yansh to start with? sad
You are a very big fool. I guess u are still a teenager. Dey wl f**k ur wife right in ur very own eyes. How can u play with such delicate situation.
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by darkman200: 10:35am On Jul 31, 2015
Typical Naija responses to a sincere question. The lady is seeking advice on how to cope with her situation, but there is a category of women on here, especially the single females that have lost all hope of finding any kind of man to marry (even poor and ugly men are no longer looking their way), all they have to offer on here is bad advice, or whatever they can say to destroy the op's marriage.
Op- Life is not bed of roses, take whatever you have and make the best of it. The man is wherever he is, hustling to provide a better life for his family, you need to trust his judgement and engage your mind with other ventures that will keep your mind occupied until your situation changes for better. Goodluck!
Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Neplusultra(f): 10:40am On Jul 31, 2015
OP,you just brought out yourself to the whole world! Imagine the advices they are giving you here shocked
It's because of you he is out dere and you are here complaining,didn't you know it would be like this before you accepted to marry him?
I know how it feels but please don't complicate your life!
Everything will be fine,just call family members and talk it over,Nairaland is not the best place to confide in!

1 Like

Re: I Am Getting Tired Of My Long Distance Marriage. by Neplusultra(f): 10:42am On Jul 31, 2015
Eminentafo:
Dear poster,

Firstly, I want to tell you that you have chosen a wrong medium for advice, if it must be a social media, then I suggest mamallete on FB, there are mature and experienced people.

Secondly, I would advise that you take everything to God in prayers, as a matter of fact, if you contacted God and got approval from Him before venturing into this marriage, then challenge God on your situation, He is the only one who can mend broken hearts. I pray God will touch your hubbys heart and make him see reasons why he should be with his family. Please do not recent in keeping yourself from immorality.
True talk!

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