osegwu:

Well, as far as I know, this is a little dicey.
I am suppose to be getting marriad this year
but the problem is that the girl of my choice is not a graduate.
My family say no.As for the pastor I don't consider him as that important.
but the irony of it all is that i have made up my mind to
to marry this lady and that is my final decision. IRIVOCABLE ::;
aaThe others can advice but is my prerogative to say no and i have said no.

vizion:

as with all other decisions in life, i strongly believe that since one is going to personally bear the burnt of his or her actions, s/he should get as much advise as they please but the final decision should be that of the person(s) concerned
in this case, those of the intending couple

Gridlock:

]
Take their advice, pool it, and sieve what is useful. Run it by a few minds that have no stake in the issue (no relatives, no leeches, no dependents, etc) and listen to their honest evaluation. Pray about it (hell, everybody feigns some form of spirituality here!)and then CHOOSE what YOU want to do.

Gridlock:


Take their advice, pool it, and sieve what is useful. Run it by a few minds that have no stake in the issue (no relatives, no leeches, no dependents, etc) and listen to their honest evaluation. Pray about it (hell, everybody feigns some form of spirituality here!)and then CHOOSE what YOU want

quote]


You need guidance at times even though the final decision lies with you. Remember some come in sheep clothings and are wolves! A lot of would be partners pretend to be who they are not just to get you hooked to you. 20 years of courtship would not always reveal the real person you are dating to you. Haven't you heard of people who dated for over 10 years, got married to each other, yet the marriage did not last a year?. You can never claim to know someone so well until you are married to him/her. I have heard also for example, a sister thought she was getting married to a xtian, just for her to be be married and the brother said, he only pretended to be such becuase he wanted her at all costs and that he is a practising muslim. I still insist you need counsel from experienced people before making a choice. Marriage is like a trap as you can never bolt out once in it and your expectations are not fulfilled, except if you are of the liberal mind that do not find anything wrong in divorce. Even when I was much younger, our core traditional beliefs (am Yoruba) says when you bring a partner home, your parents are supposed to carry our investigations to see i.e. if he/she and lineage is free from hereditary ailments, madness, curses e.t.c. This is to show the need to seek advice before taking a decision on who to marry!!!

Seun:

I won't bother to ask my parents because there's nothing I've ever wanted to do that they did not oppose!



@ SEUN

Judgin from ur submission, i guess you must be a bad boy then

mamaput:

Babyosisi i too will not waht my kids to marry any one less educated that them.
The Parents can for see problems comming up that he cannot.
If he makes it in life, he will be attending cocktail parties etc etc.
Some one will have to do the homework with the children, meet the teacher etc etc.
Its different if she dose not work ,but people ill be asking her what she dose , did.

ronkebaby:

I have been wanting to ask you guys that feel the decision is yours and yours alone whether you have not observed that in today modern days, the divorce rate is so much more on the increase compared to the olden days when parents were actively involved in the choice of married partners for their wards.

Don't you think it is this way because your choice without any advise/input from anyone is often flawed most of the time. people could be very pretentious. You might think you are in love because of the outward appearance a would be spouse is putting up, not knowing he is hiding his/real identity.

It takes a matured mind that could discern to sometimes see that which is hidden to the ordinary eyes. You can never beat the wisdom of the elderly in cases like this!

babyosisi:

My dear sis,let's leave mama and papa in this.
The divorce rate is higher not because people are now choosing their own spouses but because woman are beginning to say NO, loud and clear to abusive husbands.
They are refusing to be punching bags,sex gratifying objects,called names and humiliated in public by men that had vowed at the altar to love and cherish them.
Most women now have jobs while in some of our parents and grandparents days they depended solely on the man for livelihood,a man that also took care of her own family such that a divorce would be a big blow financially to her family,she stayed and endured the beatings and ill treatments and threats of the man marrying a second wife in some instances.

Parents have wisdom I agree and we should honor them as the Bible says but a man shall find his own wife as the Bible says too.

ronkebaby:

This yet proves the essence of seeking advise before choosing marriage partners. Most of our so called parents are experienced, having been through one of two of such experiences themselves and want to help us not to make such mistakes they made. They also observe things better than us. I tell you the developed countries of the world have the highest divorce rates in comparison to ours. And these are people that often act independly of their parents i.e. making their own choices. How come their marriages don't last?

ronkebaby:

This trend is getting into our system because we tend to naturally copy anything stamped 'made abroad'. I say it from the experience of a married lady that I am, most ladies that seek opinion in the choice of their married partners tend to be more successful in marriage.

ronkebaby:

I find the above post by your a bit contradictory. If the divorce rate is higher now because of the reasons you outlined above, it still goes to prove that wrong choices were made. Otherwise, why would an angel of a husband suddenly turn abusive, use u as a sex gratifying object etc. the same men that professed to love and cherish u till death put apart on the alter?.

This yet proves the essence of seeking advise before choosing marriage partners. Most of our so called parents are experienced, having been through one of two of such experiences themselves and want to help us not to make such mistakes they made. They also observe things better than us. I tell you the developed countries of the world have the highest divorce rates in comparison to ours. And these are people that often act independly of their parents i.e. making their own choices. How come their marriages don't last?

This trend is getting into our system because we tend to naturally copy anything stamped 'made abroad'. I say it from the experience of a married lady that I am, most ladies that seek opinion in the choice of their married partners tend to be more successful in marriage.

When I chose my hubby for instance, I sought no consent. I have seen so many things that put me off about him/family set up hidden to me in courtship now in marriage. Not withstanding the fact that I dated him for years (almost 6). Now, I always wish I had taken time to seek counsel and make enquiries before choosing him as a married patner.

BlackMamba:

PASTOR
Don't get me started. They should just mind their collection plates.