Hello Everybody,

I am a new member today. My friend advice me to come here.

Please i need a sincere advice from honest people here.

I am a 28yrs lady and broke up wit my wit my boy friend of 3 1/2 yrs. After several months (6months) of our break up, i met another guy, he was my old school mate both in d secondary and University, but we hardly talk then. we met around late January and since then we have always been together both weekend nd sometimes during the week cos our offices are close to each other.

He tod me about his last retship of 8yrs which broke up around September when he came back from service. He just started working, he is a lawyer.

He cares for me, He treats me like a baby, make me happy,we share views,take me to his friends and introduced me to his family as his friend,he is a Xtrian bt m a Muslim both he dos not against that. My family loves him and his family treats me well each time i pay a visit.

HOUSE!!!!!

I ve a problem wit him, up till now he has not open up his mind (mean i dont even know if we are in a retship or not) m confused cos when we ar together we hold hands, he kisses me,like touching my hair, admires and make comment each time i wear somethin he likes. at first, i tot he was just shy or somethin but now m confused cos the worst is that i ve fallin in love wit him and i dont know if i sud just ask him wot he his up to cos i dont want him to him.

The last time i use style to bring up this discussion , he said " Action Speaks Louder Than Vioce"

Please how do i do that, i mean to know wot is on his mind,


Please i need mature minds here.

If he kiss you and hold your hands and touch our hair, isnt it clearn enough that he is in love with you and that he is your bf?

However if you are not sure, just ask him straight to the point and get it over with,

Cause the more you keep judging and thinking and waiting, the more you are the one whom will be in distress.

Just ask him, do you love me? Simple

Define your relationship
It is very important
Please dnt assume, dnt try to read his mind.

Ask him wat exactly he wants from you
In a dearing tone
You not getting younger and u dnt need a playing relationship at this time

All the best

@poster,
Do not assume things,i advice you cut off some things you dp with him that is intimate,whenever he comes for something intimate ask him what he wants with you,sincerely he is a crafty guy,if he loves you,he should come out clean.
If you assume things and start dating him,it will lead to disaster,after all he didn't tell you any shit.

action speaks louder than voice is what leads so many people to disaster. later when he is tired of the affair he is gonna tell you did i ever tell you we were both into any relationship.My advice be striaght with him and ask him exactly what the both of you are into, and where on earth it is gonna lead you to. PERE , nothing spoil

@Poster,
Yeah Action Speaks Louder Than Voice but at times,Words are needed to give actions legitimacy.
Don't rush to conclude that he wants to get serious with you by his actions,He might want to but not yet sure.
Some guys don't know what they want until they are propped up.
So I'll advise you to extract a commitment from him,you won't be too forward  if you ask to seek clarification to a matter as key as that.
Be firm as you unravel his intention and forget the foreplays. . ._{It can wait.}

@oriahi
sincerely speaking what reason is that, i dont i support that how will she allow him f**k her before she knows his motives. i dont get your drift at all.please enlighten me more on it

Portable the poster,

All comments so far are very relevant except Oriahi's (Harrison the comedian).

For now, the guy is just using you as a "stop over".  Pls note I said "for now"

As long as you allow him kiss, smoosh, bla bla bla you, no man will propose under that condition except he has seen one special thing in you.

2ndly, you dont even know if he has issues with your religion affiliation (if he's considering marriage at all). I note u said he doesn't mind. Yeah he wont mind if all you guys have together is a fling. u know?

He also introduce u as friend. Just friend? That shows no commitment at all. If he introduces you as friend, you too just be a friend. Do you kiss all your friends?

My advice. Stop all that kissing thing. I don't think asking leading questions will help you here. Be a lady let him come cap-in-hand.
You're not too old, stop forcing yourself on him.

babe get it over with, if it was me i'll only be playing around with you. don't allow him to ue you. so ask im

What is happening to people's morality?

I thought Muslim women cannot marry non-Muslim men

Where did u get that from?

@poster
if u are Muslim as u said,
pls clarify the inter-religious marriage thing

the poster said both families accepted each other

Please don't let your perceived above-the-rim, rebound-status cloud your judgment. I suggest you cutoff all his more-than-friends privileges (kissing and what not). The fact that he introduces you as a friend is bad enough. Can't possibly imagine that the useless fellow is possibly hoping to go farther in the near future. Place a perma-ban on his hand and lips (and any other errant limbs) with immediate effect and automatic alacrity.

'Action speaks louder than voice' is a lame excuse for his non-committal attitude. If you continue along this path, his final action will be to send you an invitation to his wedding. Even if he is too shy to bring up the topic, he should be man enough to answer a simple yes/no question.

If he does declare his intentions, and they are found indeed to be honorable, the religious issue should be addressed openly by both families ASAP. You should have a discussion with his parents on the issue and understand where they stand (don't take his word for it). Also your parents should have a similar discussion with him, so that all are clear on the expectations. Religious differences can be a time-bomb set to detonate post-maritally

As long has he has not declared his intentions, I advise you make yourself available to other would be suitors. Don't let the 'baka' take you off the shelf without paying at least a down payment and doing due diligence.

y me:

the poster said both families accepted each other

Have the families met talkless of accepting each other?
We dey talk say the guy no want propose.

@poster
if u are Muslim as u said,
pls clarify the inter-religious marriage thing


@olasboy
dear i only answered a ques

Olasboy is spot on.
The story has too many inconsistences.
I was only trying to point one out.

from ur post my dear, this bro can be a complete fake guy you know? he said "Action speaks louder than voice" means what? as previous commentators earlier said, give him space for some time, it seems you re giving all of ur self to him. and tomorrow he will tell his friends that you are the 1 crazy after him not him to u. Don't always been together and around him. since there is nothing serious between you 2. the intimacy is just too much.

if you are able to distance yourself a little bit from him, if he loves you, he will come looking for u, then you have ur chances to listen to what he has to say. meanwhile, you should always pick his calls and reply his text if necessary. I don't think all ladies do all u stated wit a guy they are not engaged wit, abi sista's?

so don't be ridden like a horse.

gudluck

follow olasboy's advice

biina:

Please don't let your perceived above-the-rim, rebound-status cloud your judgment. I suggest you cutoff all his more-than-friends privileges (kissing and what not). The fact that he introduces you as a friend is bad enough. Can't possibly imagine that the useless fellow is possibly hoping to go farther in the near future. Place a perma-ban on his hand and lips (and any other errant limbs) with immediate effect and automatic alacrity.

'Action speaks louder than voice' is a lame excuse for his non-committal attitude. If you continue along this path, his final action will be to send you an invitation to his wedding. Even if he is too shy to bring up the topic, he should be man enough to answer a simple yes/no question.

If he does declare his intentions, and they are found indeed to be honorable, the religious issue should be addressed openly by both families ASAP. You should have a discussion with his parents on the issue and understand where they stand (don't take his word for it). Also your parents should have a similar discussion with him, so that all are clear on the expectations. Religious differences can be a time-bomb set to detonate post-maritally

As long has he has not declared his intentions, I advise you make yourself available to other would be suitors. Don't let the 'baka' take you off the shelf without paying at least a down payment and doing due diligence.

Best advice so far

guys are pretty samrt when issues likes tis arise.

my sincere guess is that he has no future with u.

why not stake a claim on what is urs. ( him i mean)

look when a guy wants to be evasive, is when he uses the "action speak louder than voice" approach.

be wise and ask him directly.
and dont be decieved by his family, they might like u dont mean they approve of u,
or that they dont know who he is serious with.

...

Well i suppose you are looking towards marriage here,you are not getting younger
and to tell you the absolute truth ''ask yourself what you are doing and what you want'' THEN
''Ask him what you Adults are doing is it ""BABY LOVE"" and where is it leading to"'.Be blunt about it and the better for u.

you are 28, ask him both of you are too old to be trifling around

@ House!

Thank you all for your contributions, really appreciates all these.

I needed advise and i got as many as i never imagined.

My many Thanks goes to all of u Xpecially to Chaircover, Topup, Manakins, Davidylan and all the HOUSE in general.

All i know is i ve something very strong and deep for him. means I LOVE him TRULY.

I m looking unto GOD to intervene and take control.

TnX guys.

SWEETIE . . . . . . . . . . .SINCE HE TREATS U LYK A BABY,CARES 4 U,U AVE MET MOST OF IZ FRIENDS ND HIS PPLE TREAT U GUD I THINK U SHOULD CONFRONT HIM SINCE WAT U FEEL 4 HIM IS TRU PLEASE DON'T ALOW HIM 2 USE YOU . .

@poster
Has he ever said that he loves you?

Take it slow my sister, but for the main time ask him what he wants from you Or what way does he sees you,

@poster

Must the guy do all the talking?haba?action speaks ouder than voice goes a long way na?that means he believes in action than saying things like I love you when it does not come from his heart,as for me look staright into his eyes and ask him if he loves ypu and if he avoids the question then he is not yet convinced on what he feels for you. chikina

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