Tirukkural by Tiruvalluvar ( a Tamil poet/writer) was written more than 5000 yrs ago. It’s one of the ancient science on Human behaviour, which has not changed inspite of modern education & technology !
SOME GOLDEN THOUGHTS OF THIRUKKURAL

1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.

2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.


4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want.

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.

7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it.

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.

11. If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.

14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right

Ok

Some how true sha

do people who write this garbage even have children?! OH LAWD, i feel sorry for any parent who will believe wholeheartedly this nonsense!!!!

MRBrownJ:
do people who write this garbage even have children?! OH LAWD, i feel sorry for any parent who will believe wholeheartedly this nonsense!!!!

Yes my love,
I've got children and three for that matter.

Even though I am not the original writer, I can relate to it from personal experience not only as mum but as daughter too.

You are not obliged to blindly follow these rules but apply discretion.

Besides children deserve to be respected, they were born with their own personality, preferences, will etc.

Our goal as parents shouldn't be to mould them to our taste but to enhance and bring forth that unique character/ person God has created them to be.
Rigid parenting is not the way!

@mimiflourish
i certainly understand what you are saying but, as a parent (6kids) and as a son i think this is far fetched simply because:

IMHO
1. If your child lies to you often, it is because you over-react too harshly to their inappropriate behaviour.
A) if you dont teach the value of HONESTY into your children then they will ultimately lie to you, because they have no foundation in this aspect, B) as they grow up, most children MUST test their boundaries at home, and thus they will lie to see if that can get them out of trouble, C) if parents lie (however small that lie may be) then children will copy and do the same, D) some children with vivid imagination will unknowingly lie about anything whatsoever, whether they may get in trouble or not, because their brains are still figuring out the real word from the fantasy world that they create, E) FEAR will have some kids lie, example fear of the dark, fear of the unknown, fear of a certain activity, fear of a place/person etc.


2. If your child is not taught to confide in you about their mistakes, you’ve lost them.
there is a big difference between confiding in ones parents and REALISING that they have made a mistake. so long as a child understand that they have made a mistake (and find ways to rectify it) then it shouldnt matter whether they confide in their parents or not. we all should teach our children to be independent from a very young age, and therefore "losing" them is not that wrong, so long as they know their RIGHTs from WRONGs

3. If your child had poor self-esteem, it is because you advice them more than you encourage them.
no matter how much you encourage a child, they can end up with low self esteem... simply because some are not emotionally/mentally strong enough to face the challenges of life due to anxiety, poor confidence in themselves. to encourage a child could actually be the reason why he has low self esteem, if the encouragement is too stringent. parents need to have a positive balanced output of encouragement vs advise depending on each and every child.

4. If your child does not stand up for themselves, it is because from a young age you have disciplined them regularly in public.
the above is an INSULT to all the kids who are bullied and cant stand for themselves... and therefore, we should blame their parents?!?!?! bwaaaaah!!!!!
here are a few other reasons why children wouldnt stand for themselves... because they are quiet/shy/reserved; because they cant handle the pressure; because they have always been overly shielded from the real world by their parents; because its safer not to etc etc etc

5. If your child takes things that do not belong to them, it is because when you buy them things, you don’t let them chose what they want. parents should buy what they CAN as long as that child deserves it. parents should explain to children WHY they didnt get what the chose, and a child should understand that. parents CANNOT buy everything their children desire, thats is not only foolish but also counter productive.but most importantly, parent shoud teach their kids that taking things that belong to them WITHOUT ASKING FIRST is wrong and can be viewed as stealing

6. If your child is cowardly, it is because you help them too quickly.
what has cowardice (fear) got to do with anything? helping a child too quickly will certainly make him lazy, dependent etc... but certainly not a coward?!

7. If your child does not respect other people’s feelings, it is because instead of speaking to your child, you order and command them.
bwaaaah were these people on drugs when they wrote this BS? here is a solution to children who dont respect other people's feeling: teach your kids about the value of RESPECTING OTHERS! you need to teach your children that, no matter how they feel about someone/something, they MUST always respect that person and their views

8. If your child is too quick to anger, it is because you give too much attention to misbehaviour and you give little attention to good behaviour.
an angry child could simply be because A) its a disorder, B) because of issues at school etc, C) because of fear, D) because of frustration, E) because of anxiety, because of embarrassment/shame etc etc etc

9. If your child is excessively jealous, it is because you only congratulate them when they successfully complete something and not when they improve at something even if they don’t successfully complete it.
what has jealousy got to do with congratulating a child?!

10. If your child intentionally disturbs you, it is because you are not physically affectionate enough.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH children desire ALL the attention in the world, and if they could have it their ways, we parents would be their butlers.

11. If your child is openly defiant, it is because you openly threaten to do something but don’t follow through.
check my answer for #8

12. If your child is secretive, it is because they don’t trust that you won’t blow things out of proportion.
being secretive has all to do with children wanting their privacy; children seeking to set boundaries; children who are uncomfortable around their parents etc etc and very little to do with blowing things out of proportion. but hey, yes if your child did something wrong then he will try to hide it from you because he knows he will get in trouble/punished for it, duh!

13. If your child talks back to you, it is because they watch you do it to others and think its normal behaviour.
NONSENSE, if a child talks back to his parents then thats because he was never taught to RESPECT adults. that deluded child was also never taught that, as an adult, you have the right to talk back to other adults in a respectful manner. but as a kid, although you have a right to have your opinion, you must ALWAYS obey your parents until you become an adult.

14. If your child doesn’t listen to you but listens to others, it is because you are too quick to jump to conclusions
if a child doesnt listen to his parents then the problem is the lack of parenting skills due to setting the wrong boundaries etc OR because this is a naturally rebellious child OR because that child has anger issues... but that has nothing to do with jumping to conclusion too quickly

15. If your child rebels it is because they know you care more about what others think than what is right
this is the BIGGEST BS in that list, so if i understand this nonsense carefully:
- if my child rebels because i ask him to do his homework, instead of playing video games or talking on the phone with his buddies, that because i care more about what others think than what is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
- if my child rebels because i grounded him because he was caught smoking at school, that because i care more about what others think than what is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
- if my child rebels like most early teens do, and i act accordingly to straighten him/her out, that because i care more about what others think than what is RIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!
oh well i guess to each their own