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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him (902 Views)
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My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by deb(m): 6:09pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
Hello Nairalanders, My younger brother wants to quit his relationship of 9months with his girl and he wants me to advise him. I don't just want to give him my mind alone, I want other views from able nairalanders with experience. He complains that his girlfriend is too proud and cannot submit to him. She complains about everything and she never seem to appreciate anything he does. The word of her mouth does not match her action. She talks to him with disregard and anytime he threatens to quit the relationship for her lack of respect, she begins to cry and promise to change. He loves her despite her weaknesses but he is scared he may not be able to cope with her character if they get married. They are both already planning to get married December but he says he doesn't want to regret his actions. He loves her but detest her character. I told him to give me time because relationship issues are delicate to poke nose and they might both decide to get married eventually after I must have advised him to quit. In my opinion I feel he should quit if he his sure he cannot tolerate her attitude in marriage. I have seen men who thought they will never lay a finger on their wives but eventually after marriage, out of frustration they beat and batter their wives. My brother is a very gentle guy I don't want him to turn to a wife beater someday. I need your advise what should I tell him? |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by StrStruck(f): 6:12pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
By submit, what exactly does he mean? |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by deb(m): 6:13pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
I think he meant that she disrespects him |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by StrStruck(f): 6:15pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
Can you please cite a case of her disrespecting him? |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by ThiefOfHearts(f): 6:20pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
First it's "advice" Let him quit instead of making threats every bloody minute. 9 months is too short to jump into marriage anyway. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by Nobody: 6:24pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
Why must everything lead to MARRIAGE? ![]() ![]() @post If a guy does all that to a reasonable girl, she'd have left. Aleast, I would. So I tell the dude, pack and go ![]() He loves her despite her weaknesses but he is scared he may not be able to cope with her character if they get married.Well, guess what, buddy. A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage ![]() ![]() |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by iice(f): 6:39pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
deb: That says it all. Unless she changes, it will end up broken. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by IFELEKE(m): 7:01pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
@Poster, Don't Hastily conclude that the sole problem lies with your brother's girl, Without being Bias,critically analyse the relationship and find out what your brother meant by not getting total submission from her. He might be exhibiting some authoritative tendencies/traits that isn't going down well with the lady. Be the independent person by seeking audience from both parties on the issue at stake. After your findings try as much as possible not to tell your brother what to do,guide him but let him take his stand himself. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by Tstark(m): 10:28pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
@poster Why would he turn into a wife beater based on what you posted? Abi the guy dey show those tendencies already? In that case i think the girl is better off without him |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by topup: 11:17pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
So in all honesty, he'll only be happy in the marriage, on the condition that his fiance changes her ways, well we can't make people change, we can ask and if they truly care, they can work on it, but it seems that his current girlfriend does not care. I think there's no hurry, for your brother, do they have to get married this december (especially after dating 9 months??). If he takes more time I'm sure it will become apparent. It's a tough decision and I understand that you don't want to appear biased, and as a female you're sympathetic towards the other girl (I think) - even if just a little. Well, maybe you could advise your brother to have a heart to heart chat with his fiance, so that he can really lay out his issues with the relationship, equally, she should be allowed to voice her concerns too, and they can both work on themselves together. If that doesn't work, I guess you could reach out to her to get an unbiased understanding of her point of view, that could actually be the best, because who knows if it's your brother who has the over-bearing ego. If he wants submission, there are ways to please your fiance so that she wants to submit to you. I hope they're not too immature to work this out. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by ThiefOfHearts(f): 11:18pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
IFELEKE: I like the cut of your gib Oya deb, follow this person's adviCe |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by Nobody: 11:23pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
TOH and her total dislike of "submissiveness" . . . too bad you cant entirely run away from it. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by Nobody: 11:24pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
I think the dude shld quit asap. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by Treetop20(m): 11:51pm On Apr 06, 2009 |
submission means so much to different people i will not be quick to throw it around |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by ThiefOfHearts(f): 12:46am On Apr 07, 2009 |
and what exactly is wrong with ifeleke's post, david? ![]() Btw I wasnt the one who bolded the submission part, oniranu. Mr. ashewo |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by deb(m): 12:10pm On Apr 08, 2009 |
thank you all for your contribution. My bro has thrown in the towel as we speak, but the girl has refused to accept o. As usually, she's gone on her kneels begging him to reconsider. I guess at this junction, i should just leave them to sort themselves. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by Greycells(m): 2:05pm On Apr 08, 2009 |
They should rather work at understanding each other, not changing each other. They should also give it more time. More time. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by caleb22: 7:06pm On Apr 09, 2009 |
A BROKEN RELATIONSHIP IS BETTER THAN A BROKEN MARRIAGE I THINK U KNOW THAT RIGHT, LET YOUR BROTHER PRAY VERY WILL B4 DOING ANYTHING BECOS I HAVE COME TO UNDERSTAND THAT GOD CREATED MAN FIRST AND WHEN GOD WANTED TO CREATE EVE FOR ADAM GOD CAUSE ADAM TO A DIP SLEEP DO KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS- IT SIMPLE THAT GOD WILL WORK ON THE MAN FIRST B4 PRESENTING THE WOMAN TO HIM, GOD WILL WORK ON THE CHARACTER OF MAN SO THAT THE MAN CAN STAND THE WOMAN, IF YOUR BROTHER CAN'T STAND THE GIRL LET HIM HONESTLY LEAVE HER IF AND ONLY IF THE LORD GOD HAD SAID IT TO HIM, PLS U GUYS SHOULD JION HANDS TOGETHER TO PRAY I RECOMMAND A VIGINE FROM 10PM-3AM THAT GOD SHOULD U PEOPLE IF ITS HIS WILL FOR THEM TO GET MARRIED. THANKS AND GOD BLESS U. ONE LOVE!!! |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by SweetT1: 10:41pm On Apr 09, 2009 |
@Poster Tell your brother to man the f*ck up and quit looking for other people to fight his battles. |
Re: My Brother Wants To Quit His Relationship. He Needs My Advise What Do I Tell Him by deb(m): 10:14pm On Apr 14, 2009 |
Sweet T or bitter W or whatever? must you contribute? |
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