@ chaircover, Thanks for the moral support. He seems very remorse about his actions. it's been 7mths since d incident and i'm still struggling to let go at being angry. I'll try getting d book u suggested.

- How we met: We met during a friendly game which i lost for my team dat day. While we waited for it to be our turn again, we gisted. We have been inseparable ever since. He was in final year and i was in first year. We dated for 6 yrs . He was my very first and only boyfriend ever.
- What attracted me: He was so intellectual (dat
was a big turn on), has a very generous and gentle heart. He has a way with people dats why people r always around him, he is such a delightful companion.
He has such compassion for people and was very religious. He actually made me love God more. Also, he was very romantic and used to
serenade me with songs almost everyday. Also, he was very tall.
- Who proposed?: He did. Unofficially, wen i was
still in my second year and he was doing his NYSC though officially it was in 2008.
- Who opposed: Initially, it was just his Church
people but then everybody kinda fell into line.
- The wedding: The traditional wedding was last
year in my place while the white wedding was dis
year, in UK.
- The honeymoon - In Uk, though we avnt had
much of a honeymoon as i have my exams coming up.
- Made a mistake choosing my partner? - NO
WAY. I will marry him again in another lifetime.
Things av not always been smooth but he taught me that openess, honesty and accountability will make the relationship work and it has helped. Wat i love most is dat if he is wrong, he will apologize and if i am wrong and apologize, he just lets it go (though i know i always rub it in his face wen he is d one dat has to apologize). He never, ever washes our dirtly
linen in public and always praises me to the highest heavens. All his friends think i am something out of this world. He calls me several times a day and never fails to end with 'I love u'. Till today, he stil does d same thing.
- Tempted to be unfaithful: Never been tempted
to as he is all i know and i dont want to know
another cos it will be so weird.
- How long: This is just the beginning of many
more years to come.

Kai! Kai!! Kai!! Twasn't easy reading dis 19pgs off and on for d past 6hrs, as if it's a text needed 4 an all important exam!

I must say, beautiful thread, wonderful people wit interesting love stories and painful stories as well. God bless u all and multiply His love in ur lives.

I've really learnt a lot. Not married yet, but when i do (very very soon), i'll be back. Till then, keep 'em coming plssss.

One love.

Can about to be married people answer on the thread?

met my husband during my nysc. I thought he was the most generous guy on earth. We were like kids and fantasized severally abt our future. I noticed how he treated pple especially if he had a fight with them, He had a fight with a girl in our dept and called her all manner of names. I was shocked that a guy could quarell with a chick like that in public. Brought his attention to it but he aplogised to her and they were friends again, That image haunted me everyday right to our wedding day abt 3yrs later, I kept feeling one day i'd annoy him and he'd wash me with all manner of insults like he did that girl. Spoke to few pple abt it cos i was naive and they said most guys were like that in their angry state but something kept tugging at me on the inside, guess it was God,
Got a job ryt after service and moved and we we kept in touch, , we had prayed together for that job, we prayed together for things over the phone and got answers. He was super generous cos his pay was big, , bought me all manner of gifts n all that, friends who knew him said he was a changed man n boy, was i on cloud 9. Sometyms i'd notice that he would use the f word on me wen he was angry but i stuck to him cos he never pressured me into having sex with him(I was a virgin) and he was always quick to apologise and beg and grovel in the dust for forgiveness.
Our weddin was great. Mum dint really like him but came around though. All the VIPs around that vicinity were there, ,had our honeymoon somewhere in the UAE, great! Returned to naija and received a barrage of verbal abuse ryt at the airport for taking off my sweater (had a tank top underneath) cos lagos was really hot! Ryt after then, the beatings came. He would abuse me and my family, calling us bunch of lowlives, we were poor pple, had inferiority complex, my mum was an idiot(lost my dad a long time back), I was a prostitute(we only started having sex after our trad wedding), I was dumb and he wouldnt want dull kids etc. I began to shrink into myself, and my confidence n self esteem was gradually slipping away, Severally he'd beat me and i'd pass out, on one occasion, he flung me so hard and i bumped my head onto the headrest of our bed,lost my memory for abt 2 days, At that point i started entertaining the thought of running away which i did 2days after a particularly hard beating which left me coughing out blood. He went to work and off i went. sent all my stuff via a popular transport line and flew to my destination. My entire family including his own mum wept wen they saw me. He never thought I had enough courage to leave. He did beg me to come bak the initial period i left but I knew he was still same person and wud make me pay heavily for leaving if i returned. A week later, he blocked my line and sent some1 to pik up his atm though he knew i was going to the hospital and had bills to settle cos of the state of my health; he felt i would come running bak if he boxed me into a corner financially. He never believed I could live without his financial support .I was broke with no job. It was hard but thank God abt 8 months later, i got a job and i'm faring better now.I'm happy there was no child(he had some challenges with sperm count but I usually got the "God -wont -give -us- a -child- cos- u'll -make- an -irresponsible- mum" line) so it makes it easier catering just for myself. We were married for just 2yrs. I would give him the credit of being extremely nice wen he wanted to. He just seemed to oscillate btw to extremes.He never came to see my pple cos he's super egoistic, his pple r all that n my family's not all that . I'v filed for divorce, , He's dazed!

Whaoh!
What a shame.
Thank God you took that step.
I wish you well Dear.

@kimi Your story shocked me. .damn! It's so amazing he turned into such a monster!

Beating you till you lost your memory? Coughing out blood

Na waa for some men sha.

hnmm. . , wa wa wa waohhhhh.

nice thread

kimibaby

i admire you braveness!

continue being strong for yourself dear

@kimibaby and rositta

sorry to hear your stories is soo sad to hear things like that ooo. eyaaa very touching, hmmmmna wao. sorry hen . its is well. GOD will continue to strenghten you guys and give the courage to move on in life ooo. so sad stories so men can be monsters and pretend untl when they have married the girl as they know she wont want to be tagged, sigle parent or divorcee. even the bible forbids cruelty. make una sorry ooo.

I wish I read this thread before I got married. But no regrets my marriage is ok.

I just want to admire Kimi's braveness, some men just would never change until their dying day which may be too late for them.
Thank God you had to leave before he kills you. You have nothing to lose.

@rositta. My advice, pray for your husband. It takes the grace of God for a man to stop cheating most especially if he finds it as an hobby. Forgive him but my dear be watchful so that you are not caught unaware.

@Livvvvy It would be nice for you to tell us your story too. .

Who knows, we could learn a thing or two. .

Came across this thread ytday night like 9pm and was so excited reading the diff experiences. went to bed reluctantly,actually i did not have a choice as my eyes had a perogative of their own. Anyway, i used every spare moment i had at work today to finish up the remaining few pages.

The journey thru the pages was like life itself, moments of tragedy, moments of joy, sadness, anger, pain e.t.c Which leads me to my story.

I met my prince charming thru a cousin in first year in the university and didn't think much of him then cept that he is good looking (same as admiring a fine ride) as i was already in a relationship and am a strict one man woman. After that, we just said hi whenever we ran into each other on campus. There after, i graduated,served got my first job which i did for a couple of years then moved on to a better job.It was during induction of my second job that i ran into him again. It was nice seeing a farmiliar face in a new town. He also seemed pleased to see so we exchanged phone numbers and barely kept in touch or rather i barely kept in touch as i didn't think of ever having a relationship with him.He did al the keeping in touch but it was nothing but religious forwards from time to time till the f

, am sorry, but am having a hard time typing as my daughter won't let me be. Anyway,back to the story, faithful day i fell ill then got hospitalised and wush from nowhere,i get a text from him asking how am doing and i replied almost immeadiately that i was in the hospital and then he calls me with great concern. that day i received alot of text msgs from him a trend which continued with calls, long calls after i was discharged a couple of days later and on the 7th day in the middle of the night, he sends me 5 pages text msgs proposing marriage.I thought i was dreaming and decided not to react till morning. when i woke the nxt morning, sure enough it was no dream as the text msgs were still there. my late response or non response by mid day got him into a panic as he sent text msgs apologising if i was offended. I told him i was not offended but rather flattered, however, i could not give him an answer as i did not know him well and we had not seen in two years and before i could say jack robinson, he drove down for the weekend to show seriousness as we were in diff states. Got to stop here for now as my child is acting up.

(@ wush hurry now, ur story is going into chapters
@rosita and kimbaby dont wori it is well.

@ Ubiaa - Please don't mind me and my daughter, story continues and i would cut it short. Then the love story began - he was always calling and texted even more.at i point i had to tell him to reduce the text to save cost as he could break a sentence into several text msgs. when he came to visit was even better as he was all over me and am such a sucker for love and attention. At a point, i had to tell him to reduce the show of affection as i lived in a conservative environment. Our feelings for each other grew stronger and i finally agreed to marry him. No sooner than i agreed that issues started coming up but i did not deduce them as issues at the time. I just fellt it was normal. first sign was the discovery that he did not work where he led me to believe he did as discovered by my family who were checking him out naturally before marriage and when i confronted him, he said he never told me he worked there that i just assumed. Then there was the period he was renovating the flat we would live in and i told him that i was broke and needed money. he waited till he had spent the wad of money i saw him with then complained he was broke so i had to collect money from my colleague. Then we started having fights and 3 weeks to the wedding after one of our fights, he told me i could go ahead and burn the IV,s and give family and friends whatever excuse i liked to call off the wedding. I ran that by a male and female cousin and the guy said it seemed my prince charming was no longer interested in the marriage and did not know how to opt out while my female cousin suggested i postpone the wedding which i didn't.

We got married and i have never known peace, love or happiness till date. Funny enough, i did not realise i was going through hell as i thought that was how mrriage was and anytime he was mean to me which was second nature, i thought it was my fault. he became so secretiveand distant and the few times i would have him open up to talk about our situation, he would always finish his lectures saying that i do realise that all the problem we are having is my fault. it got so bad one day that he called me names, a was stupid, he hated me and infact,if only i could see his heart to see how much he hated me that he was short of words of expressing himself. my God, how i shrunk in size. I looked so haggard and my self esteem was next to nothing.fortunately or unfortunately, i took in 3 weeks after we tied the knot so i was pregnant and goin tru hell. we always seemed to quarrel, infact that was all we always seemed to do when he came weekends (we lived apart) which was a choice he made, no effort to bring us together and i did not complain cos of my job (huge mistake).

That futher put a gap between. I could not reach him when i wanted to most of the time during the week and he reduced the weekend visit to hours from friday evening to monday mornings, it became late saturday evening to early sunday morning. Things kept getting worse till i had my baby and he changed for a while but that didn't last. Then i got transfered furhter away and it got worse. I finally got a job that brought me home for the first time with my husband but within two months we divorced, then got back together after 3 months apart (this is allowed as muslims till the 3rd divorce).I had had enough and demanded for thedivorce. He did not believe i could leave him cos he feels he was doing me a favour by marrying me.he is quite a catch as per looks,but everything else, am better than him (pls note that am not bad looking either)he cried and begged for me to come back. i did but we lasted only 9 months before we seperated for another 3 months as he refused to grant me a divorce again. he begged again and i came back and it's been barely 3 months and for the first time he has physically abused me which has left me partially disabled that would take months to heal. am planning my exit and saving up for it as the times we were apart were quite difficult for me as i could not rent a place of my own since i had no savings(spent my money running the house)so i had to squat and live apart from my child whom i usually left with my family. I don't think i would ever want to re marry if i finally leave him, if he does not change. i feel i have wasted all the years i spent with him as i was not living just existin

awwwww wush i am so sori i was hoping this would end well,be strong 4 your daughter,i think u have given him more than enough chances,my prayers go out to u take k.

@ Wush,

Am sorry to hear about that. I was thinking the story will have a happy ending. Anyway, I pray that you will find peace and love again at least for the sake of your child.

@ Ubiaa5 & Jumie.Thanks for your responses, concern and prayer.

I hope so too cos it has and still is hard. Never thought i would be unhappily married and having a child futher complicates things as am not in a hurry to leave due to custody issues cos at a certain age of my daughter or if i leave him and re marry, he gets full custody of her as allowed by my religion.

I know God willing, i ll get the love i desire soon.

^^^ you will dear hold tight and be strong.

Janet was the daughter of rich parents. Her father was a money bag. He was a transporter and a major distributor to a renowned brewing company in Ibadan, the Oyo State Capital of Nigeria. Janet belonged to a religious sect that inoculated her mind against being rich or prosperous on earth. She walked out on her parents one evening to live with her pastor in the mission house! Her decision was based on the church doctrinal belief that her parents were sinners who would end it up in hell fire! And that she as a child of the light must not have anything to do with they that are children of the dark!

Janet had on several occasions refused to consent to her father’s demand for a bottle of beer and sticks of cigarettes on the ground that they are of the devil. She had almost burnt down the house when she burnt off her lace materials in the living room because the church believe that such textile materials are not ideal to be worn by children of light that she is.

Janet and I met in the Church but I had backslide at that time! I had just realized that religion was deceptive and that most church pastors and Christian Leaders are not saints after all! Apart from the fact that I had caught my pastor in the very act of fornication (having an illicit sex with an opposite sex), I had caught him right in the act of eating while the entire Church was on a three day fast!

The pastor had declared the fast and every member of the church was religiously involved in it. On that fateful day, I was coming from work at about 4.00 pm. I was to go straight to the church but went home instead to pick up my bible which I forgot to take along with me in the morning. Whoa! I found my pastor cooling off with a bow of eba (cassava flour) and egusi (melon) stew!

By that experience and others, I had to advice Janet to go back to her parents and reconcile with them. She should go back to school and become a university graduate. But she would not! She insisted on getting a job with her secondary school education. She would not get back to school for two reasons. The first reason being the church’s belief that Jesus Christ would appear in the sky shortly to take her home to heaven in no distant future. The second reason being that she had a terrible eye problem that used to ache her with excruciating pains. She would not go through the stress of studies and hard work in the light of that pain.

I advised her to get married and settle down as a wife and mother. At least she would enjoy life for a while before rapture takes place if at all it will! It was at that point that she claimed to be a virgin and that she was afraid, she didn’t want to loose her virginity except for the man who would marry her!

I was excited in my unbelief! A virgin! No! At least not with Janet’s physique, stature and lifestyle! A 21 year old lady with a well built stature and elegant posture! It’s a lie! I decided to confirm her claim. If it was true, then, I would marry her!

I had my way! I toasted her and promised to marry her if she would let me confirm that she was the virgin that she claimed to be! She was and she got pregnant immediately after.

Should I write more about my marriage?

^^emmmm is this your story or did u copy it from a book because it sounds too scripted.

I hope people begin to realise marriage is not the zenith of happiness,
attended a grad yesterday and the prayer was, 'May god grant her husband because that is the next step'
i was befrazzled, next step??

I felt hot just reading kimibabys story, crazy nonsense.
Marriage, Its all good, but not do or die.

@cexplorer, please continue with your story

Hated his cocksure "I have this uncanny inexplicable feeling you are going to be my wife" statement, which he made just three days into the relationship. I fought and resisted getting close for so long yet events/circumstances kept on forcing us together . . .


Overall, it has made me realise that things can happen to change one's life in an instant, once you have the courage to go for it/abide by it.

@ kimbs, Rossita and Wush


God is your strength.

Gamine:

I hope people begin to realise marriage is not the zenith of happiness,
attended a grad yesterday and the prayer was, 'May god grant her husband because that is the next step'
i was befrazzled, next step??

I felt hot just reading kimibabys story, crazy nonsense.
Marriage, Its all good, but not do or die.

Hmmn, deep

Is it me or is the general consensus "forgive a cheating man?"
Some of the stories here have put the fear of God in me! Marriage ko!

Is this thread going to die?

blank:

Is this thread going to die?

do you want it to?