Ve read dis topic for 3days now. I so much love it. I think i will contribute, pls keep it coming Thanx to al dat shared

To Souldiva - I am writing to specifically address you on your sub-post. Yes, you went too far and things got out of hand, but IF you really look inward, you will observe that you people have crossed the line a long time ago. The question you should ask yourself about the guy is that, if you have to go by the nature of your relationship and the stuffs you too have been doing together( apart from the one-time sex, which is kind of a climax) is this guy God-sent?, or could he be someone the devil has sent your way to take away your dignity and then wreck more havoc, if you further permit? I quite appreciate your sincerity about him bringing out the naughty side of you. Is that naughty nature something that can help your relationship with God? Would you rather be you, or what the bible says you should be? Aint we all suppose to leave our nature and adopt the christlike nature?

This would not have happened if you have listened to your spirit man's warning about the guy. You have clearly not helped him in his christian race and he has clearly done you a great disservice in yours too.

It is not too late to do away with him ( let him realize you two have sinned and that is enough reason for your to go your separare ways (at least for now). I have a feeling you have already.


If I have to be frank with you, I will suggest you confess your failing to at least one person as the spirit may lead you, dont think you can get it all settled on your own. The devil is fond of capitalizing on  secret sins. LET ME ASSURE YOU THAT GOING AHEAD WITH THIS GUY OR ANY OTHER PERSON WHO SHARES SOME OF HIS FEATURES HIS BOUND TO SEND YOU FAR AWAY FROM YOUR OFFICE. STRANGELY ENOUGH, YOU ARE NOT ORDINARILY FAR FROM GOING TO THE ALTAR, ,  i SHUD STOP HERE

To all those that have contribute to this thread thank you. Your stories have been encouraging, enlightening, and intriguing. It took me several days to read this post and I have to say it was simply amazing. It be over six years since this thread began I will love to hear some updates. I love to hear from nferyn, bagoma, dablessed, fabian, vexxy, angelaz, sirkay, msy, cc, viviansam, prinseth2003, feelgood, flakylady, geegee, abbey10, rosita12, malaika, showoff, pwaves, taiyo4sure, wush, kimibaby, yogun, souldiva, mrs.siena, . . . . I know this not everyone, sorry . I like to know how far you have come in your marriages(birth,anniversary,triumphs,new love, trials, etc.). Share the good the bad, the ugly, if u like. . I encourage others to share their marriages too. Thanks.

Best tread ever,will post later

I just had to reply Baldman and Ipio especially,

First i want to say thank you for everyone that have commented, and on a very serious note, reading through my posts again, i saw how i had misrepresented somethings and in my characteristic manner shot myself in the foot. I felt especially hurt by Davidylan, am not saying he was wrong, and i guess his comments derived from my own posts ( so i guess i bear the responsibility for playing Russian roulette).

Now, i can tell what really happened, i couldn't blame him then because i felt i deserved what happened ( at least we had gone too far many times) but i can remember saying NO, and telling him i was scared of pulling off my clothes, but being so stupidly in love, i felt i could trust him. Let me say this, i never blamed him for what happened but do u know what, he says that it was my fault it happened, that he just wanted to prove that he found me attractive! ( Gosh!), and if that was not ironical, nothing could have been, now i found it so funny. Anyways, after the posts, i tried to apply all the advice, forgive him, move on, create boundaries and all that, all to discover that he tries to get me back into such situations again. I had to walk out.

He is not a bad person, just very manipulative, he will say, " i have really affected your life, the u i knew will never have permitted such and such to happen", transferring the guilt to me. I got tired. The truth is, i tried my best to love him and i really did

The bit about the other guy was like this; we liked each other, but distance never permitted us, i never wanted to go into this relationship because of what i felt for this other person, but he became very nice and even when i said no, he will accuse me that i am saying no because of my desire to live up to popular opinion about me, so am looking down on him. When i and the other guy later met up, he was already in a relationship and i was with him and i felt it will be a sin if we broke our partners' hearts ( I wonder what i was thinking) Maybe Davidylan was right, i was too self absorbed, and that made me easier to be manipulated. After the last thing he did ( dnt let me even go into that), he sent a mail with a story of a user. " Who was using who? The irony was very bitter.


Its been 3 months and all i can say is, i have learnt my lessons, i have taken debrief and Davidylan's criticisms and deeply looked inwards, something happened that made me decide and helped put everything in good perspective and am happy with the choice i have made ( which is to walk out).

Apologies for the long post, I guess, i just want to let everyone know the impact their words and criticism made and to say thank you.

oops, i meant baldman and myeri, apologies

souldiva:

I just had to reply Baldman and Ipio especially,

First i want to say thank you for everyone that have commented, and on a very serious note, reading through my posts again, i saw how i had misrepresented somethings and in my characteristic manner shot myself in the foot. I felt especially hurt by Davidylan, am not saying he was wrong, and i guess his comments derived from my own posts ( so i guess i bear the responsibility for playing Russian roulette).

Now, i can tell what really happened, i couldn't blame him then because i felt i deserved what happened ( at least we had gone too far many times) but i can remember saying NO, and telling him i was scared of pulling off my clothes, but being so stupidly in love, i felt i could trust him. Let me say this, i never blamed him for what happened but do u know what, he says that it was my fault it happened, that he just wanted to prove that he found me attractive! ( Gosh!), and if that was not ironical, nothing could have been, now i found it so funny. Anyways, after the posts, i tried to apply all the advice, forgive him, move on, create boundaries and all that, all to discover that he tries to get me back into such situations again. I had to walk out.

He is not a bad person, just very manipulative, he will say, " i have really affected your life, the u i knew will never have permitted such and such to happen", transferring the guilt to me. I got tired. The truth is, i tried my best to love him and i really did

The bit about the other guy was like this; we liked each other, but distance never permitted us, i never wanted to go into this relationship because of what i felt for this other person, but he became very nice and even when i said no, he will accuse me that i am saying no because of my desire to live up to popular opinion about me, so am looking down on him. When i and the other guy later met up, he was already in a relationship and i was with him and i felt it will be a sin if we broke our partners' hearts ( I wonder what i was thinking) Maybe Davidylan was right, i was too self absorbed, and that made me easier to be manipulated. After the last thing he did ( dnt let me even go into that), he sent a mail with a story of a user. " Who was using who? The irony was very bitter.


Its been 3 months and all i can say is, i have learnt my lessons, i have taken debrief and Davidylan's criticisms and deeply looked inwards, something happened that made me decide and helped put everything in good perspective and am happy with the choice i have made ( which is to walk out).

Apologies for the long post, I guess, i just want to let everyone know the impact their words and criticism made and to say thank you.

Its ok dear, i said all i said out of love, not to judge or condemn you but to help you grow out of the "church" syndrome into a real christain. A lot of pple do church and are not true to themselves.
Sorry about ur break up, i know u re hurt and feeling guilty but all you have to do is to go to the lamb of God who washes away the sins of the world, He will never leave u or forsake you and he has redeemed u from every curse, he has set you free so be free.
However , the next relationship u go into, be urself, dont put up the church leader scope, be urself, have a relationship with God and if i were u for a while i will step aside from the 'church" role and learn to just be a christain and a person> Learn to love, learn to give and learn to live

@ Debrief08, Thanks a lot, can i also say that i have read through your story and i have been encouraged. Thank you for everything.

P.S. There was a place u wrote about your husband employing your sweet smiles to sway policemen at checkpoints, lol, that was so funny! You must have some smile!

See u on other threads,

souldiva:

@ Debrief08, Thanks a lot, can i also say that i have read through your story and i have been encouraged. Thank you for everything.

P.S. There was a place u wrote about your husband employing your sweet smiles to sway policemen at checkpoints, lol, that was so funny! You must have some smile!

See u on other threads,

Lol Yes, i thank God for his faithfulness that now i can smile, that wasnt always my story. Sweetheart, it will get better but you have to be true to urself first.

It's really nice when individuals come onto threads like this and find a way to make peace with situations in their lives that have plagued them.

@Souldiva. Even though it's sad you broke up, but from what I've been able to piece together from your posts, it's the best move in the long run. Nobody should be manipulated into guilt, just so the other party can get his/her way. Even though both of you had your parts to play in the whole scenario, at least you can be at peace with your spirit and move on. Be rest assured, there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Wish you the best.

Hi everyone am new, not totally though, a bystander, since 2005 until today. Queer right?
Love this thread, my best ever!

It took me two dayz to go thru dis topic. It really nice. I ve really learnt a lot

Interesting thread, but too personal o..........lol

w

Wow!to say I've learnt a lot from reading this thread is an understatement.I've been blessed!It is by far the most engaging,intriguing,interesting,realistic,thought provoking,educative,informative and thought rendering thread i've come across on nairaland. I have laughed,cried,smiled,prayed,gone into deep thoughts et al. And to everyone that has contributed to this thread,words are not enough to thank you..May your homes be filled with joy and laughter.I would love this thread to be revived,more married folks should come and share their experiences.We(singles) want to hear and learn from you.please keep them coming..let's reawaken this thread!

BEST THREAD ON NAIRALAND

Saw dis thread ystdy,I av learnt a lot,was abl 2 jott down lots of wise quotes,thanks 2 u all! With all I've learnt I can't afford 2 make mistakes while I wait 4 MR RIGHT,court him n finally graduate into d institution called marriage.God bless u all!!!

Nice thread.

@Souldiva. As a sister I undstd u. Dont wory, things shall wrk out for u IJN.

@ ipio & svelte8. U think this post is gud abi? Go and read Serubawons tread (adjusting to life as a widower). it is soul renching.

Happy New Year to U all. Pls more contributions needed.

Thank U.

Wow! I'm speechless...

oh my this is one of d best threads on NL. I ve learnt a lot. I m shining my eyes well now.
so many experiences to learn from
I hope to have a great marriage.
God bless the posters I ve learnt much oooo

After going through this entire thread from the very first page, I feel like an achiever, like I have accomplished so much in such little time.

I'm grateful to everyone that has contributed in one way or another to this thread. The things I have learnt here will go a very long way with me. I'm grateful to GOD for bringing me across this thread, for by it, I am blessed!

GOD Bless each & everyone of you. Amen

Wow! I read all 23 pages today. Its bn wondrful readin all your stories nd experiences all frm 2005. I've learnt a lot.

I love this thread. May God bless everyone that has contributed to the thread. Uncle seru and madam CC u both v my respect and admiration. I v learnt a lot a lot and am very Glad I found this thread!!!

Wow this was when nairaland use to be the site I always want to rush too, to read one or two things, not like now that will have children who call themselve adult polluting the site at every given opportunity.

Wow! This thread has been running for eight years... That's wonderful. I've learnt a lot.

Sarah a: Wow this was when nairaland use to be the site I always want to rush too, to read one or two things, not like now that will have children who call themselve adult polluting the site at every given opportunity.

Abi o my sister. Nairaland has degenerated. But it's still nice to know that there are still mature minds here. The children on this forum must bd chased out to bring back sanity to this forum.

peaceheartt: Interesting thread, but too personal o..........lol

people love sharing.

O: as soon as i get married

So, how far?

This is the best thread I have ever come across on nairaland... I'm not married yet though but i have learnt so much! May God bless each and everyone of you.

JustifiedChild: This is the best thread I have ever come across on nairaland... I'm not married yet though but i have learnt so much! May God bless each and everyone of you.

Amen

PocketEconomist: Abi o my sister. Nairaland has degenerated. But it's still nice to know that there are still mature minds here. The children on this forum must bd chased out to bring back sanity to this forum.

yes oh, infact it should commence right alway.