The real pain and tribulations are still to follow. Watch out for the next episode

I'm sure we'll love the rest of the story when you finally get to it!

huh

Thx alot Nferyn. Your story is like a modern fairy tale romance. Its good to know there are still smen like U out there. This makes me hope and wish mre and more for my prince charming. Keep up the good work and may U and ur cute family remain blessed.Best regards

Hi all nairalanders,
thx alot for sharing ur stories. I guess those of us still searching should gain something from them. We wish u all the best as u stir your ship(successfully,we hope) through the turbulent waves of matrimony.

part 7 - a perfect gift

After my wife gave birth to my son Tom, we decided to wait a few years to have our next baby. AS my wife has troubles swallowing pills, she decided to take a hormonal injection as birth control. Unfortunately, this upset here hormonal balance and even though we wanted to have a new baby, it was not coming as easily as expected. It took almost 3 years for her hormone balance to settle to normal levels.

Finally she got pregnant just before she travelled to Nigeria to meet the family. As she hadn't been to Nigeria in several years, she needed to get all the shots against malaria and the like. She could not use Lariam as she wanted to get pregnant, so she settled for Malarone. During the last 2 weeks of her trip she was feeling nausea and when she got back, we confirmed that she was pregnant again.

Happy that it finally succeeded, we were looking forward to our new baby. During the 7th month, she was already feeling very weak and could hardly do any physical labour anymore. The Gynecologist could not find anything wrong with her, so we decided to monitor everything closely and wait for what was to happen.

By that time my grandmother was slowly losing her grip on life and becoming weaker by the day. When we were visting my aunty, we heard that she had lapsed into a coma and that she probably wouldn't make it for very long anymore. The next day, my aunty called me to say the my grandmother had passed away. I was emotionally quite shaken, as I felt I did not spend enough time with her during her last 3 years. At the same time my wife's condition wasn't improving either. The next Wednesday we both went to give my grandmother a last greeting in the morgue. My wife couldn't even enter as she was feeling too sick. We decided to go to the hospital for a check-up.

As our gynecologist wasn't there, the gynecologist of service decided to keep her under observation for the night. The next morning, I overslept and rushed to my car to get to work. While I was just about to enter the highway, I got a call from the hospital. I didn't pick up my mobile in time and put myself on the side of the road. I called the hospital and got the gynecologist on the phone. He told me that they had to operate and perform a cesarean section within the hour or both my wife and the baby would be lost.

It was as if I was struck by lightning. For 5 minutes, I couldn't react, I didn't know what to say or do. I went immediately to the hospital and luckily, I could see my wife just before she was going to enter the operating room. She was already close to losing consciencenes so we just exchanged a few looks. I just hoped she wouldn't see how frightened I was.

While she was being prepared for the cesarean section, I could briefly talk to the gynecologist. They had done some blood test the night before and apparently my wife's liver was breaking down. The toxicity of her blood was already high, but it hadn't passed the placenta barrier yet. She was suffering from a rare hereditary condition that hardly ever manifests itself. The gynecologist called it acute pregnancy induced liver atrophy. In short, she would lose her liver function if the pregnancy was not terminated.immediately.

As the baby was already 7,5 months, there would normally be no problem with an early delivery, especially because she wouldn't have to pass the trauma of a [i]normal [/i]birth. I was extremely fearful of the fact that the baby was premature, especially since I had seen quite a few premature children that were severely hampered in their mental development but the doctor explained that all bodily functions were already fully developed, except for breathing, but that this wouldn't be problematic.

Then I had to wait for a few painfull hours. I quickly got out of finger nails and the skin on my fingers wasn't sufficient to calm my nerves. They came to tell me that the section was successful and that they were taking my daughter to the maternity floor. Quickly they could tell me that everything was OK with my wife and that I could go and see her within the hour. Meanwhile, I called my parents and her sister in Austria who would inform the rest of the family. Her sister would come over to Belgium as soon as possible.

About that time I could go and see my daughter. She was really beautiful, but o so very tiny and fragile. She moved a lot and the nurses said she was really a fighter.

next.... the first weeks of Aicha, My wife slowly recovered....

hmmmmmmmmm
this is more like a home video. Thanks nferyn, I cant wait to see the end of this best movie of the year. Ride on man

wow

Nor b small tin ohhh

Whiteshark, won't you tell us your own wedding story?

well to be married is a nice thing cos u are abiding to the laws of God i love her so much but she dos't now that

To show your wife you love her, try doing something dramatic or sentimental like buying a box of chocolates with a love note inside. Things like that apears to work well . Do not, under any circumstances, buy her a lingerie.

Why not a Lingerie, Mr Admin?

Well, there are 5 love languages that you must look into.  We all we speak different love languages.  They are as follows:

Words of Affirmation:  Some women need to hear you say that you love them, they like little notes expressing your feeling for them.  They need reassurance from you.  "I love you." "You are wonderful." "You are beautiful." Those are just to name a few.  

Quality Time:  And when I say quality time, I'm not meaning you both are existing in the same house or car, but you're actually paying attention to her.  Giving her undivided attention.  No tv, no books, no distractions, just you and her having a conversation, or going out on a date, going for walks or sharing a candle light dinner together.

Receiving Gifts:  Just as Seun mentiond, some like gifts.  They don't need to be extravagent gifts but sometimes a boquet of flowers and a card.  Just a little thing that is thoughtful.  Something you know she'll enjoy.

Acts of Service:  Helping her do things, wash dishes for her or cook her a meal and serve her.

Physical Touch:  This could mean anything from holding hands, to a massage or being intimate.  

Everyone has a different way in which they understand your feelings toward them.  Try and listen to her and see what she responds to most. Be it praise, gifts, service, quality time, or physical.

Also, I'm not saying this should be a one way thing, she should do the same for you but marriage is about giving.  

@Vexxy Awwwwww that is so sweeeeeeeeeeeeet!
@Seun what's wrong with a lingerie?

Very well said Vexxy!

We are waiting for the continuation of your story! Tell us more!!

Nferyn! You should write a book on your marriage. It 'd certainly inspire a lot of our men. Nairaland will be part of its publicity, with all due regard - Mr Admin.

It is funny how women manage to set the agenda as to how they should be satisfied. I am still waiting for the 5 things on a man's list!! A few things spring to mind. Common boys, lets make our own list

@ Vexxy,

Many thanks for those love languages.

All those who have contributed, many thanks. Those who are not yet married, God'll give you your right partners. Turbulent homes, God'll heal yours and bring you back together stronger.

@ Balogun,

I totally agree with what Vexxy outlined as 5 love languages you must give attention to. I've been married for 9yrs now and those things outlined by Vexxy are the things, apart from prayer that keeps us afresh and going daily in the home.

Presently my wife is totally down and I've been the one taking care of the kids and our meals, for the past 2weeks. You can imagine the stress daily, I work in Lekki and lives in Alimosho and must be home to pick the kids from school by 4pm daily, before their lesson teacher comes for their home classes. How many kilometers do I cover daily? Only God knows o. Thank God she's recovering fast.

Just show your unreserved love in the home and you'ld see how wonderful marriage is.

Am enjoying mine o

@vexxy

gosh girl am speechless. Ur analysis was wonderful. Big up

@ sir kay

in marriage there r sacrifices we've got to make. this is just a period of tribulation that will certainly strenghten ur home. dont worry

, u may not know but i'm sure ur wife sees all ur effort and loves u dearly for it. Can u imagine ur not been by her side at this time?

Even if u may not know the kilometers u travel daily, i'm sure God certainly keeps count for u and will reward u and ur home. Pray

ur wife gets better and dont worry God is in control.

besy thread so far,luv to tell my own story,but its still an imaginery story,wen its reality,wud let u all know

besy thread so far,luv to tell my own story,but its still an imaginery story,wen its reality,wud let u all know

I'm glad you all liked the information but it's not mine oo. I read it in a marriage counseling book before getting married.

I can say that it's truly been helpful in our marriage. We've come to find out That I'm a Words of Affirmation and Quality Time girl while he is a Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch man.

vexxy:

I can say that it's truly been helpful in our marriage. We've come to find out That I'm a Words of Affirmation and Quality Time girl while he is a Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch man.

vexxy, physical touch huh? i feel u on that. most men are basically physical touch beings!

..... so that we ( chronic bachelors ) might learn...

vexxy:

Well, there are 5 love languages that you must look into.  We all we speak different love languages.  They are as follows:

Words of Affirmation 
Quality Time  
Receiving Gifts 
Acts of Service
Physical Touch 

I think I'm all of the above girl.

am more of quality time and receiving gifts is good too

keep talking girls/guys..

Ok let's talk.

bagoma:

vexxy, physical touch huh? i feel u on that. most men are basically physical touch beings!

L.O.L.! I agree! But when I say that, beyond the intimacy, he enjoys things like back rubs, hand holding, massages, things like that.

It took a while for him to come to the understanding that my definition of quality time was different from his. For him, it meant as long as we were in the same house! For me, it was a actually undivided attention such as conversations or times when we just sit in silence reading together. Once that was well established, things started to get better and we improve on it every day.

Marriage is a full time job with no vacations but highly enjoyable. I see it as a garden. You have to put up a fence around it to keep the animals out and you have to tend to it every day. Pick out the weeds before it takes over and chokes the garden, keep it clean, spend time with it, nurture it and it blossoms to something too beautiful for words.

Well said vexxy. Very well said!!!