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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Tell Us About Your Marriage (84598 Views)
9 Tips For Keeping The Spark Alive In Your Marriage / Some "Lies" Our Parents Used To Tell Us / HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW TROUBLING YOUR MARRIAGE! (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by sage(m): 7:36pm On Jan 08, 2006 |
there are a few things that u can always bear in mind to help u deal with problems like these 1 your dream of today could turn out to be your worst nightmare tommorrow 2 Life is full of uncertainties and sudden harsh realities, there are no guarantees 3 You have to love and hold yourself in high esteem if you want others to do the same for you. Dont look down on yourself 4 any reason 4 Ur best friend today whoever that is today could turn around tommorow and use and abuse your trust in them. 5 No lifelong commitment is easy. It takes a lot of hard work each and every day from all parties involved 6 Two similar paths might not produce the same result. Check what is best for you 7 And my favourite, in making decisions in life,life is complex everything is not all white and black, there are some gray areas to it too I don't buy any simplistic idea to the success or faiilure of a marriage. And if u are a good christian bringing God into your marriage helps a lot 5 Likes |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by bagoma(f): 10:57pm On Jan 08, 2006 |
sage, you're indeed a wise man. i feel you, my brother. now that girls story you told touched me, deeply. i hope a lot of young girls learn from it. well done, brother. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by prettyH(f): 12:45am On Jan 09, 2006 |
True sage u 've made a point. If ur partner starts abusing you, isn't it better u leave with ur life than for u to end up dead. Why hold on to the past when it no longer exists? |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 1:04pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
Na wao ![]() Single Lioness! |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by bagoma(f): 1:36pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
true word, lioness, thats why one needs to shine his/her eyes well well. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by whichones: 2:07pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
Sage, you are a very wise man! I hope there are more Nigerian men like you and I hope this serves as some sort of lesson to so called "good" girls believing in a fantasy that doesn't exist. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 2:33pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
how much shinning can one do? Marriage is all about Faith oh, thats what i feel. [Insert Quote 2 Likes |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by christyne(f): 3:36pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
viviansam: Yes,its for better or for worse but its life we're talking abt here.The man has made her suffer too much.For how long is she going to endure?Pple dont go by that (for better or for worse) again.Its for better for stay,for worse for go. Like in one of the stories i read here,she said when she saw that her husband has changed,she had to pack her clothes to leave but instead of her husband to allow her go,he begged her and they settled it all.Maybe if she can do such thing,the man will come back to his senses as it has been said that u'll neva knw the value of wat u have until u looses it.So i think she shd just go cos wats d essence of a marriage u're not enjoying?10yrs is not a child's play,she has tried enof. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by prinseth2003: 5:18pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
THAT U ALL FOR THE THE REPLY U SENT... |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by prinseth2003: 5:21pm On Jan 09, 2006 |
THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR REPLY..I REALLY APPRECIATE |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nferyn(m): 9:57am On Jan 10, 2006 |
@ viviansam Sometimes I cannot get you people. You are advising someone to stay in an abusive marriage, where the husband beats his wife, where he does not leave her any room for self realisation, where he even does not provide for her and her children while at the same time not allowing her to take care of herself. On top of that he even made implicit death threats. By doing so you are condoning a situation of violent abuse, a trampling on women's rights. 1 Like |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by christyne(f): 11:13am On Jan 10, 2006 |
@vivian Yes,''winners don't quit'',dts even my watchword but think about this thing 10 GOOD YEARS,haba its too much.We are all made of flesh n blood,u should be able to knw what she's going through or don't u read what she wrote at all?If it were to be me (i pray its not going to happen to me)i wont even wait dt long.This lady here has tried alot,she has sacrificed alot.We're in a civilised world,we all have our freedom.Why then should she be living in bondage?Why?She really needs to be liberated.So she's got to leave immediately or else...........!!! If the man sees that d woman he's maltreating is no more there to be maltreated, he'll think twice and go after her. @nferyn i just dey feel u my bros. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nferyn(m): 3:34pm On Jan 10, 2006 |
There are certain things in society that are never acceptable. Partner abuse is one of them. Unless Princeth is lying about her situation, she should bring herself and her children in physical and mental safety asap. You can hope the man will change his ways, but I wouldn't count on it. Marriage is a bond between two people; the man did not fulfil his obligations and broke that bond through his behaviour. He is the one that destroyed the marriaeg bond by strangulating the personality development of his wife and keeping her in a bondage that is no better than slavery. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by SIBLI06(m): 3:47pm On Jan 10, 2006 |
Seun - Such information can only generate fuel for scammers! not the best thread you started!! |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nferyn(m): 4:00pm On Jan 10, 2006 |
This is one of the most wonderful threads here on the board. Read it from the start, you'll be touched 1 Like |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by christyne(f): 12:20pm On Jan 11, 2006 |
@ sibli do exactly as nferyn has said,u'll know dt its one of d best thread n u're going to be touched. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nferyn(m): 3:20pm On Jan 11, 2006 |
kenflavor:If it were only battering in this case, then you might have a point, but it isn't. The man is trying to excercise total control over the humanity of his wife, denying her to grow as a human being, he is even acting at the expense of the children. Cultural differences in these cases are really a smokescreen, human dignity is a universal value, not something that is uniquely reserved to men or subject to cultural variation. 5 Likes |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 10:17am On Jan 12, 2006 |
i just dont see why the woman shd pay for her wrongs and that of the man too. Good or bad, the axe still falls on her. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nferyn(m): 10:19am On Jan 12, 2006 |
lioness:Exactly. It shouldn't be like that 1 Like |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nferyn(m): 10:27am On Jan 12, 2006 |
Read my account here for starters ![]() https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-2598.0.html#msg91683 It's in several parts, so it might take you a while |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by christyne(f): 4:22pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
I think i've been stupid to suggest tht u quit ur marriage.Something is wrong somewhere and it needs to be corrected.Ur husband might have seen/heard abt sth dt u neva told him which makes him to be misbehaving.Maybe u take it to the Lord and ask him for divine intervention or u quit but on one condition;and dts to remain alone i.e. u not gonna marry anoda hussy cos the bible doesn't approve of tht so far ur partner is still alive even not after having kids. I'm saying all this cos now i know the consequences in marriage as i was being lectured.I'm sorry for suggesting tht u quit in the first place. |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 4:44pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
repentant Christyne ![]() y'all shd give me a break abeg |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 4:47pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
And no sex too cos that wld be adultery [r u quit but on one condition;and dts to remain alone i.e. u not going to marry anoda hussy because the bible doesn't approve of that so far your partner is still alive even not after having kids./quote] |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nicetohave(m): 4:51pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
![]() ![]() but what do you think and suggest lioness? ![]() |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 5:04pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
We can all say what we know & not know but at the end of the day, only SHE can make a decision. No one can tell her this is wrong or right cos she's the one whose feet are in the shoe. we advise, she uses her head. Maybe we shd open a prayer thread to pray over such issues |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by nicetohave(m): 5:05pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
that sounds like a working plan, i agree with you |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by Z4M4eva(f): 5:08pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
Hmm...Lioness very wise comment ![]() |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by lioness(f): 5:25pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
thank ya |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by flavorflav(f): 7:05pm On Jan 13, 2006 |
I'm enjoying these... |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by ty4eva(f): 4:21pm On Jan 14, 2006 |
Waoh! Nferyn u hve such a juciy story and it's amaing to see a man like you standing solidly y somoen u harldy knew. U r indeed a good exaple of a wonderful man, ur wife is indeed very lucky! keep loving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by madam: 1:03pm On Jan 17, 2006 |
Actually i needed someone to help me get over my ex and he was there at the nick of time... The plan was to have some fun that way i 4get the ex and then move on (my usual style).... But behold it wont be... plans don't work all the time.... The catch: We used the fight a lot (not physically ooh )argue and all sort but we cld not just stay apart from each other... one minute we are breaking up the next he is at my place or i am at his.. I think what really attracted me was the fact that he was very helpfull... used to help me do even the smallest things.... But what really melted my heart was how he would call me endlessly whenever i travel on vacation... the last time he woke me up from sleep and he was like " Pumkin i miss u so much can't wait for you to come home" and boy i cried..... My sisters would tell me "shey u say u no like the boy how come u are either on the internet with him or the phone" Who proposed: It just came natuarlly... there was really no flowers or rings and the usual "will u marry me" thing... he would ask me when would my mum come back and that was how i knew the thing done they take another form... and when she came the next week we did the Intro and then 1mth after the wedding..... Did my Registry sometime in Sep 2005 and My Traditional sometime in Nov 2005... We got married after one and half yr of dating ... so i am still very fresh in the business. Who opossed : Nobody ... my Siblings where all happi.... (actually i am the last) though they have never seen him except my immediate senior brother, and he likes him. His parents are okay no stress inshort i would rather eat his mothers food than mine... Wedding and Honeymoon: The registry was quiet ,s trictly family... and My traditional was equally small... Just family and a few friends... Honeymoon::: We went to london two days after the wedding 4 10days... it was nice ... had plenty of fun... Regrets: I have no regrets he is nice and i am stubborn ,.... i think he is the right man 4 me.... knows how to cool me down and keep me in check.... even though sometimes i feel like screaming and yelling.... but i guess its okay... Unfaithfull: We i just got married and my man is still hot in the bedroom so why on earth would i be unfaithful to him.... nah!!! Well i think we would be together till the end.... Thats what God said it should be now abi And to all those that lost loved ones on this forum... i am so sorry.... it actually got me worried and thinking especially since i am still fresh in the biz... Please take heart okay.... Its well.... Okay now thats my story.... not thrilling abi but thats how it went 2 Likes |
Re: Tell Us About Your Marriage by ono(m): 5:56pm On Feb 06, 2006 |
I've read about the the good, the bad and the ugly. Life's not a bed of roses. It's full of ups and downs. I'm married. I got married 1st October 2005. That's some 5months now. Not much to say yet. But it's been a wonderful time with Arit all these while. 1 Like |
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