thax

This passes for the most moving story I've read on n'land in quite a while.

My submission goes in tandem with a few others before me.

It's over mate. Accept it, move on.

U'll never forget this incident, take it u're both wounded & scarred.

The wound may heal but the scar will remain. A constant reminder of this outright treachery.

May sound hardline but it's the crystal truth.

Peace.

@poster,
Man you can never trust her again,and you will always suspect her,so there is absolutely no need to stay on.i bet you on that,and she will most definitely meet this guy again .move on man.she is not worth it

May i call you David,

I cant say 4 sure what her intentions were when she did wat she did, also i cant conclude for you what decision to take in this relationship but i would like to repeat a few points mentioned here and also add few of mine.

- i agree dat dis is nt d first time she is doing it, cos for a girl 2 b pregnant alone is enough to make her worried. she had d confidence 2 still sleep wit another guy.
-a friend always says she isnt ur woman until she is wit u, but wen ur nt there be sure that someother guy is admiring her. if she allowed herself 2 get carried away to d point that she spent d weekend wit a guy she met 2 months ago then, she doesnt qualify for wife material.
-we all hav d tendency of being cheats, its d degree of cheating thats distinguishes us. i would recommend that u cheat on her just 2 get d load of ur chest. more like a tit 4 tat score line. its a way of deceiving urself that ur gettin back on her. note-nt necessary u do dis.
-u obviously love this girl, but when it comes 2 marriage, love isnt just enough. if its all u hav den ur in d wrong place. becos based on love u wuld make so many wrong decisions. u need 2 hav wisdom, knowledge, and most esp God's Intervention.

I advice that you keep cut down on hw much u see or even communicate with her. let her knw she did wrong and there shuld b measures to show that. DO NOT allow this just sweep under the carpet. maybe tell her nt 2 come 2 ur place or something. this will allow u time on ur own and heal urself. the moment a woman knows her man cant do without her, u r bleeped for life. u will have no control of ur emotions.

Best of Luck

I quick agreed wit u but a true love of four years cant just die in a day. The thought of leaving her is even killing me. I mean she was there when I had nothing. There was a time that I had a serious issue she stood by me. I cant just figure out why she has do that, now that things are getting better in my life, a good job n new life. I want to share everything wit her ijust dont know why she did dat

Davidcares:

I quick agreed wit u but a true love of four years cant just die in a day. The thought of leaving her is even killing me. I mean she was there when I had nothing. There was a time that I had a serious issue she stood by me. I cant just figure out why she has do that, now that things are getting better in my life, a good job n new life. I want to share everything wit her ijust dont know why she did dat

Now tell me. Have u cheated on her b4?

yes two years ago, it was just once

Davidcares:

I quick agreed wit u but a true love of four years cant just die in a day. The thought of leaving her is even killing me. I mean she was there when I had nothing. There was a time that I had a serious issue she stood by me. I cant just figure out why she has do that, now that things are getting better in my life, a good job n new life. I want to share everything wit her ijust dont know why she did dat

No offence but you're sooooo gonna regret dis.
I can just imagine ur girlfriend's first conversation with the dude after all dis has come out - wat do you think they'll be talking about?
P.S
She will continue sleeping with dis guy and the only difference btw now and before is dat you wont catch her!!!

@davidcares

Ur situation is very pathetic. I know how u feel, but i cld also put myself in d girl's position. I know what she did is VERY WRONG and deserves any punishment you can think of, but one thing is that she is suffering already, I bet you she will find it very difficult to forgive herself. Pls, have mercy on her and forgive her, also try to forget.

U know her more than any of us in this forum and I believe that deep down, you know she will not try dat rubbish again. Love is very painful at times. However, I'll advice that you not rush into d marriage thing soon. Give some time to monitor her cos 'nowadays we no dey know finish'. But pls, dont let ur for her suffer.

I always say one shd love with his heart applying the functions of the head. You know what I mean

I wish you well.

^^ yeah yeah
only a woman will come up wit dis

tboy1:

^^ yeah yeah
only a woman will come up wit dis

yeah only a woman cos u guys will always want to crucify us women but sometimes u do d worst.

@poster
But pls, dont let ur for her suffer.

I mean dont let ur love for her suffer

Forgive ke,dont mind Andyjoy,may be she is even the girl in question.

Leave her man .I don talk my own ooo

@ Post/David

I must confess that ur  post is the most moving Post I have ever read in NL.
God!!!, I felt ur pain,betrayal, deceit and disappointment.
I dont even know how to advice u. but all i have to say is that u should withdraw from her for awhile.

Yes, almost everybody says leave her, I understand that u love her so much and believed in her.
just reduce the time u spend with her and stay with her once in a while and monitor her reaction.
let ur break  up or reunion be natural. dont try to force it.
let it flow like wind. if actually she is urs or God wants both of u 2 marry, the wind will bring u togeda.

Man am sorry i think its all 50-50

Andyjoy:

yeah only a woman cos u guys will always want to crucify us women but sometimes u do d worst.

Im saying all wat ive said from experience and from wat ive seen around me.
one of the things ive seen: my own uncle ws in the same situation, he took the girl back(dis was 3 yrs ago)
During my aunty's wedding(his own sister) he proposed to d girl and she said yes and everyone was happy.Soon after we started preparation for his own wedding(early last yr) anyways to cut the story short, she broke up wit him and got married to the other dude she slept wit yrs earlier. My uncle nearly ran mad - literally

ibrokay:

Forgive ke,dont mind Andyjoy,may be she is even the girl in question.
Leave her man .I don talk my own ooo

LOL 

@ Poster
I think its a 50-50 thing, because for her to have cheated on you whilst she was pregnant is terrible!

But then, no human is PERFECT! We all make mistakes and even GOD in heaven, forgives us when we trespass.
She has asked for forgiveness and u've forgiven her. FINE! But then, the question is can u FORGET WHAT HAPPENED and move on with her? It totally depends on U? U ALONE CAN DECIDE ON WHAT TO DO

U Can have her back and keep remembering this ugly incident and never even trust her again or u can chase her away and deal with a broken heart and sweet memories of her. IT ALL DEPENDS ON YOU. ITS 50-50.

If you cheated on her and never cheated again, why can't you forgive her indiscretion? am not condoning cheating but your life has been merged with her for 4 years. You love her dearly and sounds like she loves you. I don't know your relationship but the manner in which she cheated sounds like she has been lacking attention from you. Ladies crave attention and when their man is not giving enough of it, rest assured that some other guy is always willing to step in and boost your ego. If you love her, follow sistawoman's advice and monitor the relationship until trust can be reestablished. Infidelity can be overcome but it is tough. Now, many guys are telling you that you can never trust her b/c she cheated but how many of them cheat or have cheated on their wives or gfs and fully expect forgiveness? Why so hard on the woman? Forgive her sins so that your sins may be forgiven. Forgive your neighbor 70x7!

The girl is just a bitch.
I can imagine what you are passing through now.
This has to make you a  real player, a bad guy.
f**k them chicks,

Guys I really appreciate ur advices, comments and suggestions. I found some hard to swallow, some motivational, some encouraging, some straight from the heart, some emotional, some tough. I will take a leaf from everyone's advice, comment and suggestion. I pray that this will never happen to you or anyone you know. The bottom line I still love her but the trust has reduced. I will just take things one at a time. once again thax for all ur comment. We are going to see today and I am thinking of showing her all this comments,

my guy try and be urslf if u real luv the babe as u stated be wit her try and 4get everin tin there his notin new under the sun

how could she cheat on her fiancee? anyone ready to get married and in love is thinking about happy time pickte fences and cute dogs. if anything that is when they wont cheat! she doenst reallly take this relationship seriously. sorry. even when she was pregnant for you? c'mon! she doesn't really care. it seems as if she will cheat again. you love her yes. but be wise. be very wise. dont drag anyone else into this matter. because the end result will just be too bad. these are the kind of secrets you take to the grave.
in fact im speechless. what can you really say in a situation like this? what she did was very bad as in 'nollywood' unbeleivable. Icant really help here so whatever you do please take your time.dont do anything rash. weigh you pros and cons: is she worth staying with? can you completely trust her again? that is the most important question. If you cant you need to leave now instead of holding on as you will never be happy and eventually leave her.

Davidcares:

yes two years ago, it was just once

@Davidcare.

I think we need to be fair to her here after reading ur reply to my question if u have cheated on her and u said yes.

Now u got no moral justification to leave her now based on the cheating thing, she 4gave u when u cheated on her, its only fair u do the some now. We have to be honest here, both of u are as bad as each other. whether u cheated once or not, cheating is cheating.

Yes
I asked the poster if he has ever cheated on the girl in the first page and he prolly did not see it. Thank God another person raised the question.

Now that your answer is yes, tell me why you are feeling she killed your mother?

Forgive her and confess to her that you cheated on her before so you will start on fresh plate or let the relatkionship dissolve.

You may never know but it could be because of your first infidelity that she was pushed to do this so that you will know how it feels to be cheated on. The law of karma one may say because she comes out from your description to be a good one if she was able to stand by you when you were a church rat.

Guys are quick to say crucify her, crucify her ! Let those who never cheated come up and crucify but in this case the poster has no such right.

My advice: confess your own infidelity., it will heal her and heal you and the spell will dissolve

agabaI23:

My advice: confess your own infidelity., it will heal her and heal you and the spell will dissolve

Sounds logical but in real time, real life application, my guy it doesn't work that way.

Just being brutally honest here.

mlol @ stay and work it out. plol

run faster than your legs can move.

eyah sorry oh

GUY LEAVE THAT GIRL AS YOU WOULD NEVER FORGET WHAT SHE DID.
Your own na small, i dated a girl for 8 yrs and when things were rough when i travelled out of the country she throw me like a piece of rubbish. I though she was the best i can ever get buT guy , after some time i realised she was not as good as i had thought, "LOVE COVER MY EYES". Today i have got my dream job and even later found out she was fucking someone else while we were in the university from a course mate of her I met at my place of work
Man e no esay oh , but I thank GOD I did not marry her.
REMEMBER MY OWN NA 8 YRS , URS NA SMALL. TAKE HEART DAT IS THE WAY LOVE GOESSSSSS

@poster
1) u are an idiot and a murderer for agreeing to terminating ur girl's pregnancy because of some bleeping mothers opinion.
2) my advice to u is to leave the girl cos when babes start like that they never stop.

Dumb the Bitch!!!! she has been cheating for long

One of the sins I can never forgive!Cheating!

Choice is yours. It depends on your heart.
I know my self that I can never forget. That was how I am wired from above. So I can hardly remain with that person. Ill see the pictures reflecting time and again anytime I see her face.

Atleast don't she deserve a 2nd chance, it might be temptation but i advice u david to scrutine her and find out

@ poster

I can feel your pain. You cannot ask answer from other people. The decision lies between you and your girl.
Stepping in your shoes, I can only suggest take your time. Let your emotions cool down. Say wait for at least a couple of months before you make a major decision. If you still want her then go ahead marry her. But think hard; when you have already lost trust on your partner, how will it affect your marriage. There must be many couples out there who have been through this and still have successful marriage, so leave your mind open.
As a woman i can only say, "I won't sleep around if i truly love my partner. I just can't".
Just remember to take your time and things will become clearer.
All the best.