Here are some of the funny quotes.
1. “We want to thank the
President for bringing
Facebook to Nigeria”
– Information Minister Labaran
Maku.

The official dropped this
remark December 20, 2010,
while speaking during Goodluck
Jonathan’s ‘Facebook’ book
launch in Lagos. Although Maku
tried to thank GEJ for introducing
social networking to Nigerian
politics, the phrase immediately
turned into a social joke.

2. “With all due respect, if
Jesus Christ could come to the
world and be the chairman of
INEC, any election he would
conduct will be disputed.” –
Olusegun Obasanjo

OBJ said this in 2010 in Abuja
reacting to the removal of
Professor Maurice Iwu as INEC
chairman. Unsurprisingly, he
came under fire over the
statement as Nigerians
accused the former President of
blasphemy.

3. “Over 70% of what they call
corruption in Nigeria, is mere
common theft. – Goodluck
Jonathan

This one was shortly tagged
“stealing is not corruption”.
President said this in May, 2014,
during the Presidential Media
Chat. Reactions were not long in
arriving, as the comment went
viral immediately. Twitter and
Facebook users joked that now
they were relieved to know that
there was no corruption among
Nigerian politicians… only mere
stealing.

4. “God is a democrat, does
not support rigging but if you
rig and succeed, that means
God approves of it.” – Jonah
Jang

Plateau State governor made the
statement in May, 2013, after
having emerged the chairman
Nigerian Governors’ Forum. Jang
insisted that God helped him
defeat his major opponent,
Rotimi Amaechi.

5. “Ojukwu is a great man,he
died but his manhood lives on”
– Patience Jonathan.

Of course Dame Patience put a
noble meaning into the word
“manhood”, however Internet
users did not miss the
opportunity to have a good
laugh upon hearing it. It is worth
mentioning that the First Lady is
often attacked in social media
over grammatical blunders in her
speech.

6. “Go and die” – Edo State
Governor Adams Oshiomhole
said to a widowed woman
The incident happened as the
woman knelt before
Oshiomhole begging for her little
means of livelihood to be saved.
After which he shouted out the
infamous phrase.
Not funny at all, which was
immediately noticed by Nigerians.
The video of the great
humiliation surfaced online and
got people furious. Soon the
governor apologized to the
widow, donated N2 million to
her and offered help with
employment.

7. “My fellow
widows…” another pearl
from Patience Jonathan as a
special treat
This way the First Lady started
her speech in March, 2011, as
she addressed women who lost
their husbands.

8. “I will not die. I drink
bottled water. You do not
drink bottled water.” – Rotimi
Amaechi

Rivers State governor went
emptional during his last
year’s rally speech held in Port
harcourt.

Lol

Others are:

"you press men, you always say there are no minerals in kano. We have Coca Cola, Fanta, Mirinda and the newly invented Sprite"...Bakin Zuwo.

"Foreign investors should ignore Boko Haram and invest in Nigeria"...GEJ

" I will water your school and fire your school"..Orji Uzoh Kalu

"Nigerians dont panic, terrorist attack is everywhere ..maybe is our turn"...GEJ

"I will rather kill myself than commit sucide"..Dame Jonathan

..."I founded this school for the masses and the school fees is 850,000 naira"...Atiku Abubakar

"..until I see someone eating out of the gutters before I believe there is poverty in Nigeria." - Umoru Dikko.

"Telephone is not meant for the poor"..David Mark

..."The worth of a child born and breed in Nigeria cannot be compared to that in the United States" -Yakubu Gowon

.."school is not meant for the poor, only for the rich"..Ikedi Ikiri Ohakim

.."At 50, Britain is still battling with King Arthur and the knights of the round table so Nigeria is not doing too badly"..Diezeani Madueke.

..."The corp members where destined to die, nobody can run away from destiny"..Mallam isa Yaguda, Gov Bauchi State.

.."On behalf of 20 million naira, I donate my family".. Dame Jonathan.

.."We, the PDP did not win this election, I have gone to church to confess, I gave them money and they called the result"...Chris Uba

.."I want to commend the doctors and nurses for responding to treatment"...Dame Jonathan

..."I can see camera people, are they going to televise us alive?"- Dame Jonathan.

Most politicians in Nigeria can't boast of a Credible First School Leaving Cert

Ask our Presido he knows Whatsup