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Im In A Serious Fix: Help! - Romance - Nairaland

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Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 4:43pm On Jun 06, 2009
Ok,  this is my fix. I met this guy sometime in February this year, I had known him for  about 7 years but just as the friend of a friend because he never said more than hi anytime I saw him. So long story short we met again at the beach and he took my number. We started talking and Hanging out and became very good friends, now we are excellent together. Now the fix is this, I live with my mums best friend as a matter of convenience at the moment. the first time I brought him up with her because she is like my mum we found out that his mother had an affair with my aunts husband which resulted in their divorce and she has a child for him. My aunt only has one child for him and it took almost 10 yrs before that happened. Apparently her husband had moved out of the house though he came back later to beg and all that. point is my mum who is a single mother has already told me that she will not support our relationship, so has my aunt because they dint want to be in laws with HHS mum, but now that we really like each other I dint know what to do? help!! i need some advice? they have said that the only thing that can make it work is if there is a reconciliation.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Nobody: 6:29pm On Jun 06, 2009
@Topic.
Wether reconciliation or not, ur relationship wif that arshole can never work cos there's already a sour dat cant be healed.
Better carry on wif ya life and be gud too.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by ElRazur: 6:33pm On Jun 06, 2009
Can By-gone not be By-gones?
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Hollysmile: 7:01pm On Jun 06, 2009
@Elrazur, not in such kinda situations,
@poster, beta listen to ur parents. U need ur parent's advice!
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Nobody: 7:06pm On Jun 06, 2009
Uhm! Not in dis modern age. undecided
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by bluespice(f): 7:13pm On Jun 06, 2009
ummmm girl u need to clear ur head
are y'all a couple? to begin with or u just like each other?

that said with the afore mentioned history,
i doubt it will be good or advicable to plan any future
a marriage without the approval of the parents is really undecided
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by spikedcylinder: 7:27pm On Jun 06, 2009
brein:

@Topic.
Wether reconciliation or not, ur relationship wif that arshole can never work cos there's already a sour dat cant be healed.
Better carry on wif ya life and be gud too.

Hows he an "arshole"?
Do you think through yours?
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by justwise(m): 8:46pm On Jun 06, 2009
Ipsi:

Ok, this is my fix. I met this guy sometime in February this year, I had known him for about 7 years but just as the friend of a friend because he never said more than hi anytime I saw him. So long story short we met again at the beach and he took my number. We started talking and Hanging out and became very good friends, now we are excellent together. Now the fix is this, I live with my mums best friend as a matter of convenience at the moment. the first time I brought him up with her because she is like my mum we found out that his mother had an affair with my aunts husband which resulted in their divorce and she has a child for him. My aunt only has one child for him and it took almost 10 yrs before that happened. Apparently her husband had moved out of the house though he came back later to beg and all that. point is my mum who is a single mother has already told me that she will not support our relationship, so has my aunt because they dint want to be in laws with HHS mum, but now that we really like each other I dint know what to do? help!! i need some advice? they have said that the only thing that can make it work is if there is a reconciliation.


Girl, this is a had one to crack. I can understand ur mum and ur aunt’s point, at the same time, they have given u a condition. Reconciliation. Try and work on that with ur bf, see if both of u can bring the families together.

Talk to ur bf about it, If it works then it will an added advantage for u and ur man.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by iice(f): 10:50am On Jun 07, 2009
Too much wahala. People have long memories.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 10:45pm On Jun 08, 2009
Well we talked about everything and decided we should try dating see how it works. We'll review the relationship every three months and when we agree that its not working we'll call it quits. If we last up to a year and it looks like its going to keep on growing then we'll take steps to reconciliation. Its a very sensitive issue and we will tread lightly. Right now our relationship is just between us nobody knows we are dating. thankyou.I really appreciate your reply's.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by puskin: 10:54pm On Jun 08, 2009
K. So both of U hv signed a memorandum of understanding (MOU). Hmmm!!
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 6:12pm On Jun 10, 2009
Puskin, lol. well maybe a memorandum of understanding. Id prefer to say there is a consensus ad idem with provisions for renewal. Im a lawyer.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by tytylayor: 6:38pm On Jun 10, 2009
den y u asking for advise wen u kno u can solve it urself?
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Nobody: 8:39pm On Jun 10, 2009
...
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Oxone(m): 1:49am On Jun 11, 2009
spikedcylinder:

Hows he an "arshole"?
Do you think through yours?


hr prolly does undecided undecided undecided undecided undecided
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ournaija: 12:17pm On Jun 11, 2009
The time to act is now. Do you think it will be easier to leave in 1, 2 years when you guys are deeper into each other. For you guys to hide your relationship from people means that their lots of issues than you listed.

If the foundation of a marriage is not well laid it will not stand the test of time. You as a lady have a lot to play in the whole thing. You can decide to have anyhow marriage or a decent one. I believe things need to be done decently and honourably.

Since the reason been given is not political, tribal,religious, social status, I think you better have a rethink before you add to the complicated issues. You guys should work on the reconciliation first before considering any sort of relationship.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 12:19am On Jun 12, 2009
Im a lawyer doesnt mean I have the answer to everything, Honestly we like each other and we had far before we found out about the whole mess. My aunts husband is late. I honestly dont know but whether ir will work or not but thts what life is about. Risks. truth is the people that are not in agreement have lived their lives and made their mistakes. Why should we carry the burden? why should my life be dictated by a choice a dead man made years ago that I knew nothing about? Some battles start out hard, some shouldnt be fought at all. What you need is the grace to know which one.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 1:11am On Jun 12, 2009
I think I should clarify that my aunt is not my mothers blood sister. She is my mothers friend but they are quite close.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Oxone(m): 1:57am On Jun 12, 2009
@post
well final decision lies with you & if u must go on with it, then there's alot u'll have to contend with cos the going will be very tough
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by biola44: 9:08am On Jun 12, 2009
i dont think ur r/s can work cos d chicken has come home 2 roost n even if u go ahead, i dont see both families gettin along, dont start what u cant finish, cool
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by luxoire(f): 9:23am On Jun 12, 2009
i say try and make both families come together - but ONLY do this if you and the guy are considering marriage - no point spoiling ties with your family over an ordinary r/ship that could break down anytime

you and him should pray about it and God will intervene sooner or later. if you and the gur want to settle down together - then ideally it would be good if both families got on. if not, it is your life NOT your parents - they have had theirs and some of them messed it up by screwing around (literally) - so y'all better make the best decision for yourselves and your future and pray your family acceptsit in time.

it is not going to be easy - so brace yourself - for better for worse
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Damoche10: 10:01am On Jun 12, 2009
That relationship CAN WORK!!!!
Ur aunt is your mother's friend, should not be your concern. U shouldn't be the one to carry the burden , she should. Carry on with your lives both of you NOTHING DEY HAPPEN MY SISTER!!!! Moreover, u are not blood related. Must you fry your head because a person close to your family made a mistake? Abeg, tell them to gum body for chair jooo!!!
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Emperoh(m): 2:45pm On Jun 12, 2009
Poster
By the time both of you fall in love, your consensus ad idem will turn to consensu to fight anyone in ya way.
Its either you both call it quits now else it will be very difficult to. . . . . On a second thought, these old people regardless of their stand
can't dictate for both of ya!!
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Steve49ja1(m): 2:52pm On Jun 12, 2009
Promiscuity runs in his family. . .try thinking with ya head not ya lips.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by okunrin3: 3:13pm On Jun 12, 2009
Steve49ja.:

Promiscuity runs in his family. . .try thinking with ya head not ya lips.
lips to think? ow? grin
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Steve49ja1(m): 3:52pm On Jun 12, 2009
She sure knows da 'lips' im referring to. wink
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by MoneyRule(m): 2:44pm On Jun 13, 2009
Then make up a reconcilation already!!!!!!
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 8:35pm On Jun 14, 2009
Errr mr ROCKHAVEN, I have an elder sister that has been married for 5 years, she used my profile to ask that question cuz i didnt know anything about it and I sugested she ask, at least people responded to my post. Anyway I am not married and Im just 23. I was called to bar last year but im not practicing. This is none of your buisness and i dont know why you are concerned. Are you happy now?
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by onyx20: 9:24pm On Jun 14, 2009
Ipsi:

Ok, this is my fix. I met this guy sometime in February this year, I had known him for about 7 years but just as the friend of a friend because he never said more than hi anytime I saw him. So long story short we met again at the beach and he took my number. We started talking and Hanging out and became very good friends, now we are excellent together. Now the fix is this, I live with my mums best friend as a matter of convenience at the moment. the first time I brought him up with her because she is like my mum we found out that his mother had an affair with my aunts husband which resulted in their divorce and she has a child for him. My aunt only has one child for him and it took almost 10 yrs before that happened. Apparently her husband had moved out of the house though he came back later to beg and all that. point is my mum who is a single mother has already told me that she will not support our relationship, so has my aunt because they dint want to be in laws with HHS mum, but now that we really like each other I dint know what to do? help!! i need some advice? they have said that the only thing that can make it work is if there is a reconciliation.
This is not confussing at all, the advice/answers u despirately want at this ur dire time u already know my dear even B/4 u posted on this forum u said it all urself that u don't think it wise 4 u 2 pay 4 a dead man's mistake & that is very very correct. If he sincerely loves u & u think u love him enough to marry him then follow your heart there is no wrong here at all.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by emolient: 3:03pm On Jun 15, 2009
man.My advise is that, you learn how to pray very well and also stick to God almighty for divine intervention.
Re: Im In A Serious Fix: Help! by Ipsi(f): 10:19pm On Jun 15, 2009
Hey, Onyx20. thanx for the advice. I already on my knees asking for direction so lets see what happens. ill keep you posted. thanx

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