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How To Know The Right Age To Get Married - Romance - Nairaland

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How To Know The Right Age To Get Married by hyman9ja(m): 12:23pm On Dec 22, 2015
In reality, there is no "right" age to get married; age is just a number. It takes maturity and the proper relationship to feel like you are ready to commit your life to someone else. You may feel like your age is the most important factor to getting married, but this couldn't be further from the truth. When you're looking for a partner, it's important to be mentally healthy and to check for signs within your relationship that help you identify when you might be ready for marriage.

LEARNING ABOUT YOURSELF

Identify your personal values. A mature individual knows herself and what she believes in. Before getting married, it's important to know what you value and if you're being completely honest with yourself.

Have a healthy self esteem. By knowing you're worthy of love, you set the bar high on how you'll be treated by your partner. When you have low self esteem, it may allow you to accept unacceptable behavior while preventing you from enjoying a healthy relationship.
When you're insecure, you can be irritable, have poor communication and use impaired judgement in your work and personal life. In order to attract confident and healthy partners, you must have self-confidence.
Know what is important to you. Ask yourself what values you have. If you're a family person, you may want many children and regular family outings. Perhaps you are more career-driven so you may need to skip children all together or wait until later in life to re-evaluate if you want a family. Maybe you are quite religious and need someone of the same faith. Search within yourself and decide what makes you the person you are.

Be honest with yourself about your shortcomings. Self-reflection is important in all stages of personal relationships. If you are unable to be honest with yourself, you can't expect to be honest with another individual. Set aside some personal time to think. When you're alone, consider what you could work on.

Some individuals may have difficulty communicating. If this is you, think about circumstances when you were unable to effectively communicate your feelings or be honest with yourself. Try to be observant of these situations and the points in which you shut off or close down.
Negativity or being too hard on yourself can be difficult to associate with. Imagine yourself with a partner who is unable to accept praise and is generally an unhappy person. Consider why you flee to negative emotions and try to remember there is more than one perspective.

Make a relationship check-list. After you know yourself, you can contemplate what you need out of a relationship in order to move onto marriage. Keep it simple and examine what you value in your friends, family and past relationships. Create a list of what you look for in a partner that consists of must-have, maybes, and absolutely-nots.

Your list should be ever-evolving. You should always grow and change as a person, especially while young so your list should reflect that. Don't be afraid to edit your list after a poorly-ended relationship.
When listing your must-haves, look for common denominators within your life. If all your friends have a sense of humor, it may be an important thing to look for; in contrast, if you prefer to be more serious perhaps you should find a person able to hold more involved conversations. Make your list how you want it. After all, it is yours and yours alone.
When you have an easy go-to list you can easily look for a marriage-worthy partner. Knowing what you want before hand will help keep you on the right track while keeping your standards high.

EXPLORING YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Determine that you can trust your partner. Trust is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship. It's important to trust your partner to avoid a constant feeling of paranoia. If you're always worrying about the feeling of oncoming doom then you can't focus positive energy into your relationship. In order to keep trust strong, keep your expectations clear.

Everyone is allowed their own standards. Perhaps you need your partner to check in at the end of the night. If this is the case, let them know before they make the mistake of not checking in. If you're clear with your expectations, they can be fulfilled. Learn to manage expectations as an unfulfilled expectation can be easily misread as a breach of trust.
Trust is easy to lose and difficult to regain. Once that bond is broken, it can be a long and slow road to repair. Be proactive when addressing your doubts and insecurities about your relationship.

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