ILIDEFI:
Thank you so much, Kepstone. Wow, you really took your time to write such a detailed note to me. I appreciate your kind and godly concern. May God bless you abundantly, and may you continually go from strength to strength, in Jesus name.

I actually have a fairly clear understanding of most of what you listed. There is no way on earth that I can sustain a relationship with any girl that my whole spirit and soul isn't in agreement with.

In the case I presented, there was nothing to suggest that she was below 23 when I first saw her. If it was obvious, I wouldn't have even approached her in the first place. It was after I got to know her age that I started wondering if was okay for me to anticipate loving her, considering what I felt and got to know about her.
My concern has been that if I become friends with her, she appears suitable on most grounds for relationship and I develop true love for her, will it be considered right to wife a girl as young as that? Frankly, deep within me, something tells me that I can't pull it through.

I'm not really naïve when it comes to relationship. I've had a great relationship before which lasted for years, but things didn't work out. It was partly my fault anyway. I guess I've been kinda desperate in recent times, looking for a girl who will be as good a friend as the one I lost. I guess I've been desperately looking for another confidant, friend and lover.

I will do what is right, anyway. I won't disappoint God.
I will deliberately keep a distance, and if somehow something stronger connects us together in the future beyond my personal efforts, then I will confidently tell myself that it is the hand of God.

Thanks once again.

Bro if your spirit is at peace get a lil bit closer to her,she will be aware of your intentions but dont say it yet,get to know her first.i had a guy jokingly ask me out sinz i was in ss1,he finally got serious about it when i turned 20 and he 28,sneaked home to meet my mum to tell her he rilly likes me when i insisted i was not ready,twas my S.U mum dt advised i allow him close(no sex involved) to get to know him so i wnt turn a good man away.he messed up when he was tired of celibacy ,am hapily married to the man of my dreams who finished uni when i was in ss1 too , dou hes just 5yrs older,he was fast so u can imagine the gap in eerrything,if u tink u like her,relac and get to know her.most of this advisers bin de date alhaji's naa!

Well..,mr doctor, thank goodness you know most of this. I itemized.
A 17 old is not matured enough to see relationship from your perspective. You will have a lot of patience, training, talking and correction to do on this girl. I want you to enter marriage with someone who is matured. Age wise amd otherwise this very important although some of them are desperate to hook someone. You will have friction with this little gal. A matured lady has experiec life and has seen the bitter side and better side of life.please pray and don't allow d voice of your heart desire convince you she is the one. Proverb says my son do not give ur strength to women, I would not like you to invest your prime in something that is not certain. We don't want you admired in IC. The odds are to minimal... If you even hear God telling you this is your wife its not even guarantee still she will marry you. Best you can do now go slow, with her, and increase your prayer pour out your heart to GOD. While I was in campus, a pretty gal liked me wella, she is everything I dream and desire in a lady, we started of solid friendship and we are still on till date, while I prayed in the morning I heard god clearly and loudly son she is not your wife. Period. I felt like strangulating god that morning. I cried. It was during the holidays I heard already told her I was going to tell her something, when we resume. When we resume she was expectant but I did not tell her anything. So we became enemies but now friend after graduation. She told I never asked her out in school. So I kept mute cos I obeyed god and thank God I did.
Please let GOD prove to you with time she is the one.

U are a pedophile @OP

Frankly, age is just numbers and one that can't drive a wedge when true love is in the purview by MATURE minds. That she is precocious or better put, looking outwardly mature doesn't mean she's mature enough to handle the dealings of a serious relationship. She hasn't gotten to University environment where the dictate is really tasking and confusing if one isn't really careful. I'd advice u b her friend for the time being, just be good and don't rush since u aren't ready for marriage until next 3yrs, try to know in totality, her kind of person. I personally don't like to date girls in school or those still seeking admission as I see most of them as one not really ready for a serious relationship other than just to enjoy themselves and if things go right, altar calls then. Age is no barrier as I earlier stated, but be cautious since she's young and would like all sorts of adventure.

kepstone:
Hmmmm. Bro.
I will give you my own advice in the best way possible from all angle, couple with real fact examples. You are a doctor good.
1. Marriage is not for children, its for matured people 2 matured individuals who are matured. Maturity: I mean 2 people who are physically matured, emotially matured, spiritually matured, socially matured, sexually matured, financially matured. If you can harmonized this then you are compatible enough to marry. From what I see you just met her and hormones has gotten part of you that made you so attracted to her. Love is not a feeling love is foundation, you are a christian, the love of Christ was never a feeling it was a foundation for us to know what the real love of the father is, Jesus is d very epitome of what love is. Never you allow feeling to rule your relationship, that's why today we have many marriages build on the wrong foundation, hence they come down crashing. I tell you this feeling will not sustain you in the storms of life and marriage. Marriage is covenant love and not feeling, just as christ covenanted himself to love the church and he died for her. You ideal marriage as a christian is to reflect christ and his church. Give love time, clear your head from your emotional high and come to the reality of life. I am 30 as well and I have for the past 4years defined love to myself what it means to me and what it means to God. I am I have come to realise its not feeling, this feeling normally want after a year. Sit down and ask yourself this question about love. Until you know what love is to you and to God and to a woman, bro you are not set to marry, I don't care how much you have in your Account.
2. She may not be matured enough to understand what relationship and marriage is.
The girls is just 17 for crying out loud. I myself don't do minors. No matter how d attraction is I kill it. You think you are compatible because she is nice to you. She may just be nice by her disposition. Does she know what love is, does she have the understanding of what marital commitment is, does she knows what covenant is. Now she is yet to get into school, I tell you every year her life will change in school, her idealogy and philosophy will change while in school. She will meet people, she is at the stage of her life right now she is trying to know herself, define who she is and map out the route she will take in life. She will want to date and hang out with a lot if guys, she will want to be experience and in this quest to know and to explore, she will meet the good and the bad, her total commitment to you will not be guaranteed bro. I have been through campus and I have seen sad issue like this that ended up in pain and betrayal. At this your age you need to think well and pray well.
You said maybe God brought you together so as to build her up. Bro I tell you gals of this age are the most opionated individuals, why they are at the stage of developing there minds, working on he to align with your dream and vision will take the next 5 years. Will you want to wait. Think wisely. My elder brother joe, got a gal of 18 while he was at your age. He did everything to make sure she is OK but later after all he spent she left him and married and alhaji. Uche my friend trained a girl in uniport and he spent like 4million on her yet she came out if school as a graduate at 20 yes she gave him flimsy excuse why they can not marry, he wanted to build her up. My own I have. Gal now she is 20and I want to build her up but I have not spent much on her only 1% of my money cos I want to know if she truly loves me and not disappoint me, she is messing up real time. Bro there is no guarantee, pls pray.
3. Girls of her age have tendency not to respect you.
Yes very true. I have seen them I have handle them, you need a wife that can submit and respect you, submission is not in age gap but understanding what submission is, that's what make submission possible. Most of them will disrespect you in a polite manner or even outrightly to insult your ego and that hurts. Respect is not in yes sir, kneeling down. Respect is in admiration, does she admire your qualities, respect is in esteem, does she highly esteemed you not becos of age difference, does she have honour to your character. Does she respect you when you don't have money to satisfy her need or lust. Think wisely and pray well.
4. Does she look like someone who is purpose driven and willing to work on herself.
Bro you need a woman that can be purpose driven and be willing to work, not just office work, to work on the relationship, doe she understand your own purpose and willing to align with your purpose as much as you want to align with hers,. Does she support you well enough when you are down, when you are up. What's her role in your life as regards to purpose which your life represent. If she is not willing to be part if it I don't care about her curves her face, her breast, bro nothing for you. Do you think this 17 year old gal will give this to you. Never marry base on assumption she will fall in place as my supporter in life. A woman or a gal that will do that in the future will show some trait in courtship or relationship. Think well and pray well.
5. Character define who we are
What's her character like... Humans are very pretentious I tell you. Take time and see her true character unfold. I don't mean asking people about her character, you do your home work and see if her character is what you want your future kids to have. Beauty is deceitful but the woman that fears the lord she shall be praise. If the character is questionable please think wise and pray well. We are not perfect I know, but you have to ascertain someone character before you head to d alter. And at this her stage she is still in the early years of her character development. Think well and pray well.
6. Will she value your investment in her
Bro this is possible to work out between you and this gal as long as there is mutual understanding and value. Will she value your investment of your time money, prayer, sacrifice. Will she understand that you are a medical doctor and can be very busy when she needs you. Will she see that she has a future with you and not you been her mega sponsor in life through her educational years in school. She has to truly come to a place were by the little or much you do is valued. Ensure you know will she be ready for marriage when she is 20 years or a serious relationship with any guy, some want to build a stable career for like 5_years before tiring the north, oh sorry knot. And by then you will be 35+ upward. Can you wait. Never spend beyond 1% of your money on any gal you have not wife no matter how sexy or pretty she think she is, never you allow your spendig be from your emotions. There has to be balance. There has to be mutuality. You are not stingy you are just been careful and wise. Spending too much is what brings heart breaks in relationships. Let her know what you can do for her till you wife her then you can give her the whole world.Think well and pray well.
7.God factor.
Is she I touch with GOD. The fact she is an usher In Church does not mean she is in touch with GOD. Please ascertain her relationship with GOD. I am not saying she must be spirit koko, but just ensure she has a sweet commitment with Jesus and she is dedicated to him first of all and then to the church.
Seek the face of God let him lead you. Yes GOD has not stop giving wife's to his sons and husbands to his daughters, marriage is bigger decision than you think, so don't just leave it at your intellect level. Please involved him. Pray well. Haven said all this if you feel a strong desire to go ahead and the spiritual coast is clear and you have his approval please go ahead and be friends with her, wait till she is matured enough like 21 to wife her.
But there are more beautiful single matured girls who you can relate with nd you will find true love not desperate love seeking to marry only. Wish you all the very best in your search and choice.
Doctor I have malaria.

1) If you cannot feel, then you are not human. God wouldn't have sent down guidance if we lacked the ability to feel.

2) She is a minor under the law however I am noy sure if think the age of consent cover marriage. She might be 17 but as far as I am concerned she is ready to be married. If she is ready to be married then shr is emotional emotionally ready.

3) respect is reciprocal. He should not be expected to be called sir or expect her to say yes sir to his opinions or expect her to follow all his directives because he is older than her. I hope he doesn't start telling her ‘I am not your agemate' bla bla bla

6) what investment? . Did he not know the risks before investing in her? Did she tell him that her family were not capable of investing in her? What if she happens not to love him again, would you suggest she continues the relationship out of pity? Is that what you would we want for yourself? Pity love?

MrsPhyno:
I think it's wrong that you somehow seem to think that you "deserve" a 17 year old, just because you're a virgin. Odd and wrong. Anyways, men that can even fall in love with girls that young tend to be sillier....... Meaning you don't care about education, maturity, wisdom; all you care about is youth. God help you. The girl has very silly parents if they will accept you (unless of course she's from a poor family, because poverty creates desperation), because no father that wants anything great for his daughter will allow her to court, marry, or wait for a 30 yr old guy while she is just 17. I know mine wouldn't.

So basically, good luck to you, and the relationship you hope to form is inappropriate

hmm.

ILIDEFI:


Oh really? That's nice.
I'll send you a pm. We can chat later on.
I wish you all the best in ur pursuits.

tank u ,..wish u d best too

ILIDEFI:


And did your family accept him? What are his family members and friends saying about it?
Are you comfortable with that gap?
Sorry to ask, are you up to 20 yet?

Yes I am..... M very comfortable with d gap.

Camellia:
tank u ,..wish u d best too

Alryt