RHEMAA:

thank you. We both stay in Lagos. do you know any psychologist? help.

Oh well, I don't know anyone I can refer you to.
Just ask around!!!

I feel her pain....let her see a therapist

YourMain:
Literally start from the start. Hold her hand. Then build up to a hug. Literally take things on her pace. I know it's hard. Rape or any close encounter to rape is disgusting and it makes you feel dirty and sick in the inside. And it makes you second guess the intentions of everyone in your life. Be there for her. Don't try to get her talk about it. Don't pretend you understand. You don't. Do not pity her. If she tries to do things that are detrimental to her, don't lecture her. Honestly the only thing you can do is be there for her. Oh and she'll never ever overcome it. There's no overcoming. Just living. Try to assure her it wasn't her fault.

If there was a rape crisis group. They're better than psychologists cause it's people who have been through the same. Join those too! They really help. I wish you and her the very best of luck.

thank you very much. please, do you know any of such group?

Its PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder)......in this kinda cases therapy helps a lot....she needs to talk about what happened with people who will give her sweet words of encouragements n she really needs to pray about it....There is nothing God cannot do...Meanwhile, try to abstain from anything dat will remind her of dat night..God will help u guys

my dear this kind of trauma takes time to heal.maybe u guys should visit a counsellor

Lalasticlala n all dis mods come carry dis thing go. FP na....if na rubbish topic una for don carry am go FP......mtchew

1) that girl is damaged, emotionally and physically damaged, so i will suggest you seek professional help in order to have a chance to sort this issue.

2) i will also suggest that she should face her fears and find a way to press charges (if possible) against these cultists, if not then it is just a matter of time before they finish what they have started.

3) relocate far far away from where this happened, so that she can possibly forget and move on

btw, if the below quote is true, then why did you guys not see for months?!

RHEMAA:

thank you. We both stay in Lagos. do you know any psychologist? help.

Itz best you see a psychologist

Ehya... This is the fault in their stars

She might have actually been raped.

I have seen a lady I witnessed her raping by armed robbers from a hideout deny completely till date that she was raped.

RHEMAA Try to help her have a relief from the experience. And don't be scared, fear does not solve any problem

I don't even know what to say. It's unfortunate when People just cause untold Hardship and Pain in other People's Life. Tomorrow some of those useless Cultists would repent, and want to Go to Heaven after doing something Like this. It's Just Plain Wickedness!

Too many People in this World with no sense of Purpose or directon. we seriously need the Death Penalty in full effect! all over the World

Decker:
First of all, my heart goes out to your girlfriend. I thank God she wasn't raped and she made it out alive.

What your girlfriend is going through is a post traumatic psychological response to what she suffered. The problem is not with you, she'd definitely react the same way to any guy who tries to touch her.

Most times, the aftermath of a rape encounter deals a hard blow on the mind and general psychology of women. It's understandable. But what you should do is give her some space. Let her emotional and psychological wounds heal first. It might take time to heal, and you have to be patient. Don't rush her into anything now.

I would also advice that you see a psychologist that would guide her through this tough process and time in her life. She also needs you to be there by her side, so, in trying to give her space, and letting her wounds heal, don't stray too far, still always endeavor to be by her side. Let her know that you are always there to protect her no matter what. Give her that assurance and try to make her feel happy and secure always, and hopefully, with time, she will come through.

You could also advice her to peruse through the web, there are definitely websites or forums that deal specifically with people that have passed through similar rape cases. She can spend some time on these sites, read people's own experiences and how they handled theirs and maybe conversing with them. This could also help in speeding up the healing process.

I throught you were making sence till I saw the word SPACE...thanks,your advice is noted

op if you take this misguided advice from this honourable dude then u r Oyo....

Nt dat am doubting ur story, bt it's possible she might b fakin it, mayb she doesn't wnt u anymore
My thought thou.

RHEMAA:

thank you very much. please, do you know any of such group?

Ill be honest the first thought would be see a therapist but honestly they're expensive and they won't do anything you and other friends can't.

Ehm I don't live in Nigeria so I wouldn't know. But I'm sure there are some around.

And don't give her space.

1# Bro, because of the blood they took from her,you need to pray for her.

E GET WHY


2# she's simply not experienced in the hoody lifestyle.

3# she's overreacting.

olyivy:
She might have actually been raped.

I have seen a lady I witnessed her raping by armed robbers from a hideout deny completely till date that she was raped.

of course she has been raped, cultist who drink victim's blood but yet wont smash gal on her period?! por favor!!!! but hey, let us all pretend (like the OP) that it didnt happen.

I wanted to say RUN for ur life bcosif those cultist get to knw u are her bf, u are not safe too.....but you can. advise to leave school area and live among indigenes, she shud quit walking around at nyt too

RHEMAA:
Good morning nairalanders. I won't say I am new on this forum, but I have been a keen observer of things as a guest. now to the issue.

I have a fiancee who we have been together for 3years now. She is a final year student of a polytechnic in Nigeria while I am also an undergraduate of a university. we don't see for months unless there is a holiday like this current yuletide break.
things have been going very well until she had a particular experience that is currently threatening the stability of our relationship. Some months ago, she was ambushed by a group of cultists on her way back from her friend's house (by 9:25pm), They dragged her forcefully to the thick bush where they hold their meetings and remove everything called clothes on her body. in the course of the forceful drag, she sustained bruises and some Injuries that left scars on her skin up till now. According to her, she was begging them to spare her life and let her go. They gave deaf ears to her profuse pleas and tried to take turns and rape her.
Luckily for her, she was on her period and that discouraged them. even at that, she said one of the cultist insisted he was going to have sex with her whether she is bleeding or not (as blood could be seen dripping down her thighs). In tears, she continued begging. The group leader then pierced her palm with a sharp object and sucked the blood that dripped out from the cut, he told her never to tell anyone what had happened in school else she will die. they took her undies and only gave her the gown to wear. In the deep of night, she walked home alone in tears and shiver from the bush path. she wasn't raped because she was on her period.


Now, the problem is, we met this break period and I tried to touched her. (not an attempt at sex. she is a virgin, we haven't had sex since we started dating) I tried to kiss her, but she started shivering, I held her close but she was so insensitive. I asked her what the problem was, she said as I held her, her memory went back to that experience she had and that she doesn't feel anything.

Please, this has been going on for sometime now, how do I help her? she says anytime I try to kiss her, the memory plays in her head and she goes cold. I love her so much. help me.

HELP!! Truckpusher, Decker, vixkiz, MrbrownJ, Brackett, Laveda, .. everyone, please help!



Lalasticlala... please, I need help, I would appreciate if it graces front page.

She's experiencing PTSD..


www​.mayoclinic.org/.../


She needs to see a psychologist. Take her to a General Hospital and ask to see a psychologist.

She is going through psychological truma becos she can't just imagine what could have happened if she is not on her period,all this are still fresh in her memory. all she need now is to undergo some counselling,dont rush her untill she get herself back.although it might take a little time but remember this is when she need you most

Ur gf is suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) she needs psychotherapy pls dnt take it with levity she needs help

oloriadejoke:
She is going through psychological truma becos she can't just imagine what could have happened if she is not on her period,all this are still fresh in her memory. all she need now is to undergo some counselling,dont rush her untill she get herself back.although it might take a little time but remember this is when she need you most

Here is the awful truth, the guy said she is a virgin and they have been dating for 2-3yrs. I hate to brake it to OP, but his GF has been having it elsewhere. While playing him the virgin card to score a wedding ring.

She knows she can't hold up the virgin story for long, so the story of cultistism, piercing her palm and drinking the blood? Seriously? What are the chances that she was on her period at the same time? What was she doing at a friend's place till that time and the route she was taking home for a cultist to openly snap her off the road?

She will later tell him that they actually succeeded in raping her and that she didn't want to tell him at the time for reasons she will cook up.

Fear women.

Awwww!!!

@RHEMAA, you need love, patience and understanding. Beware though, she will drain you, she will drain your emotions, but this wouldn't be deliberate. It might take a long time for her to heal..

Wish you the best. Hope it ends well.

I hate cultists wit every fiber of ma being, dy r sick,useless,ignorant,foolish bastards nd dis world wud function well widout dm, m sure dere r cultists on nairaland and dy are all psychotic bastards! dy shd b rottening in hell! d government shd try to form an anti-cultists squad nd dy shd comb all universities, poly nd every place of learning, d gov shd also increase d penalty. dy shd b killed by d firing squad, everyone of em! sick bastards! I symphatize wit u jawe, She will overcome it bt 4 ha to feel beta, she knws dere faces all she needs to do is ask 4 protection nd give d police a sketch of dere punny faces.

She should see a therapist and tell her parents about it! If not, she is going to end up ruining her life.

Take her to a Psychologist asap

RHEMAA:
Good morning nairalanders. I won't say I am new on this forum, but I have been a keen observer of things as a guest. now to the issue.

I have a fiancee who we have been together for 3years now. She is a final year student of a polytechnic in Nigeria while I am also an undergraduate of a university. we don't see for months unless there is a holiday like this current yuletide break.
things have been going very well until she had a particular experience that is currently threatening the stability of our relationship. Some months ago, she was ambushed by a group of cultists on her way back from her friend's house (by 9:25pm), They dragged her forcefully to the thick bush where they hold their meetings and remove everything called clothes on her body. in the course of the forceful drag, she sustained bruises and some Injuries that left scars on her skin up till now. According to her, she was begging them to spare her life and let her go. They gave deaf ears to her profuse pleas and tried to take turns and rape her.
Luckily for her, she was on her period and that discouraged them. even at that, she said one of the cultist insisted he was going to have sex with her whether she is bleeding or not (as blood could be seen dripping down her thighs). In tears, she continued begging. The group leader then pierced her palm with a sharp object and sucked the blood that dripped out from the cut, he told her never to tell anyone what had happened in school else she will die. they took her undies and only gave her the gown to wear. In the deep of night, she walked home alone in tears and shiver from the bush path. she wasn't raped because she was on her period.


Now, the problem is, we met this break period and I tried to touched her. (not an attempt at sex. she is a virgin, we haven't had sex since we started dating) I tried to kiss her, but she started shivering, I held her close but she was so insensitive. I asked her what the problem was, she said as I held her, her memory went back to that experience she had and that she doesn't feel anything.

Please, this has been going on for sometime now, how do I help her? she says anytime I try to kiss her, the memory plays in her head and she goes cold. I love her so much. help me.

HELP!! Truckpusher, Decker, vixkiz, MrbrownJ, Brackett, Laveda, .. everyone, please help!



Lalasticlala... please, I need help, I would appreciate if it graces front page.

Bros I Lov how u hide d rape part by covering it with menses.

All the same she need prayers n more love,for ha to let go of d rape(claimed menses) memories

Wetin gal dey waka around that kinda time in a school environment

soupandeba:
This matter get K-leg o

lol story 4d Gods,
this 1 na anoda way girls claims no sex b4 marriage

HMMM shes so lucky not to be raped but wait,you mean CORRECT NAIJA GUY GO STILL NEGLECT CRUDE OIL BECAUSE ITS NOT YET FUEL?






TO be sincere i gat nothing to say but i support the words od DECKER

so sad man, bt i thank God she was nt rape, i hate hearing dat wrd rape...i alwys feel like killing any guy dat do rape girls, with time she wil overcome d fear, dnt rush her into anytn yet.