Am quiting my relationship today, , i need friends to keep me going, the funniest part is that the guy went away with plent of my stuff to mention but few, cell phone, international passport, 3 ATM cards with other document,

please i do not know where and how to start,

ammamat:

Am quiting my relationship today, , i need friends to keep me going,  the funniest part is that the guy went away with plent of my stuff to mention but few,  cell phone, international passport, 3 ATM cards with other document,
please i do not know where and how to start,

Why would he? Get 'em back if they aren't his.

ammamat:

Am quiting my relationship today, , i need friends to keep me going, the funniest part is that the guy went away with plent of my stuff to mention but few, cell phone, international passport, 3 ATM cards with other document,

please i do not know where and how to start,

Are u planning to end a relationship after it has ended

The whole thing happen two days ago, i tried as i could to get back my stuff, but he still telling me that he want me to do just one thing so that he would show me who he is,

I know i jealouse a lot, but with understanding we can talk things out but my guy is always setting trap for me, doing what he knows i don't like and probably those things will hurt me most

Should i call him and begg him just to get my things back, but inside me i don't want him again, but i don't know how to get my things back

ammamat:

The whole thing happen two days ago, i tried as i could to get back my stuff, but he still telling me that he want me to do just one thing so that he would show me who he is,
I know i jealouse a lot, but with understanding we can talk things out but my guy is always setting trap for me, doing what he knows i don't like and probably those things will hurt me most

What is the thing he is telling you to do for him? is it to beg or what.
My dear where are you located? Naija or abroad. if na naija just play along with him nicely until you get your stuffs back (hopefully it works for you) if na abroad you should have gone to the police long ago. Your international passport, ATM i beg oh

@touchmeder
Am in Nija, piple advice me to go to police, but i don't have that mind, there is no how i will be able to get along with him, i might eventually fall again for him, coz God knows when he will returnd them if i want to get along with him,

I am very sick right now, tried holding onto the word of God but then i can't concentrate,

am at a loss here,
what right does he have to keep this things in his possesion?
did he get thm for you?
if he did then let them be, but i dont understand his actions though.
moreso what did u do for him to take those steps?

i suggest u get his family involved, let them talk to him, and if he refuses, get the law involved.

did he get thm for you?
if he did then let them be, but i dont understand his actions though.
moreso what did u do for him to take those steps?

i suggest u get his family involved, let them talk to him, and if he refuses, get the law involved.

@Izeek
Nope,
I always complain about his action like keeping late, drinking and smoking.
I don't nagg but i talk to him in a polite way, has a matured person, thinking that he will limite the intake of alcohol and cigarette, he knows too well that i don't like it, but he keep on doing them,

His family is not aware of what is happenning, but if he refuse to returnd my stuff that is when i will let the family in.

i suggest u call him and tell him u want ur things back cos u wanna move on.
if he refuses, then go to the family.
if they too are no help, go to hi work place, thats if he works.
embarrass him, whatever will make him give u those stuff back.
and if finally he acts like the prick he sounds like, go to the police.

and moreso i wonder why u stick with some1 whose's habits u find annoying.
where u hoping to change him?
ppl dnt change in r/s, they get worse.

and moreso i wonder why u stick with some1 whose's habits u find annoying.
where u hoping to change him?
ppl dnt change in r/s, they get worse.

Well as they said, love is blind, maybe i did not realize it then, tots he will change for good,
He still talk abot fustrating me, and i don't know what that suppose to mean, he said he will be happy if he sees that agony of fustration in me.

just take the steps i listed. am sure it wud be resolved.
and next time dont ever date to change.
its never a workable plan.

izeek:

i suggest u call him and tell him u want ur things back cos u wanna move on.
if he refuses, then go to the family.
if they too are no help, go to hi work place, thats if he works.
embarrass him, whatever will make him give u those stuff back.
and if finally he acts like the prick he sounds like, go to the police.

and moreso i wonder why u stick with some1 whose's habits u find annoying.
where u hoping to change him?
ppl dnt change in r/s, they get worse.

that wont be a nice thing to do cos some work place dont allow such.
Wateva domestic problems u hav should be resolved at home and not in the office. So, advising the lady to go his work place might blow up in her face oooo cos she might be embarassed and escorted out by security (my work-palce for example)

and i wouldn't want us to be quick in our judgement , we dont really know wat the lady did and we all know (i mean guys now) how frustrating, pushy and annoying ladies can get.

ammamat:

did he get thm for you?
if he did then let them be, but i dont understand his actions though.
moreso what did u do for him to take those steps?

i suggest u get his family involved, let them talk to him, and if he refuses, get the law involved.

@Izeek
Nope,
I always complain about his action like keeping late, drinking and smoking.
I don't nagg but i talk to him in a polite way, has a matured person, thinking that he will limite the intake of alcohol and cigarette, he knows too well that i don't like it, but he keep on doing them,

His family is not aware of what is happenning, but if he refuse to returnd my stuff that is when i will let the family in.

has he been doing all this b4 u met him? or he just started. If he has been doing it b4 u started dating him, then u dont expect him to change overnight. IT TAKE TIMES.

but if he's just starting, then u need to find out wat pushed him into it and the best way to go about it is not by COMPLAINING but by showing care and making him understand that wateva issues he has can be discussed and sorted out.

SHOW HIM LOVE (at least he's not new to u, so u should know how to handle him).

wat i'm saying in essence is this; somtin must hav pushed him into taking possession of those items. Maybe ur attitude towards him (lately) has changed and he's feeling insecure that u might leave him (because of ur complaints).

B4 inviting his family into this, why not sit him down and trash things out with him.

best of luck.

I'll have to agree with Tosyn,

I think it'll do more harm than good to try resolving via violence, generally Guys dont like being talked down or reprimanded esp. by a lady and an angry one at that.
Even the Bible say a soft answer turns away wrath. So I think you should ask the help of the Teacher, Our friend and Comforter(The Holy Spirit) to help you out.

BTW: why would you date someone with those habits/character in the first place. Maybe you should have stayed friends until you are able to help me or till he shows signs that he might actually change.

I wish you the best of luck in resolving this, but you have to indulge ur inner strength!

Our friend and Comforter(The Holy Spirit) to help you out.

[quote][/quote]

you dere not talk about church or holy spirit, coz he will quote and quote bible till u get tired, he argue alot when its come to biblical stuff, everything still boils down on me becoz he has been drinking before i met him, as they said love is blind,

Have talked to him in secret, showing love and care, but at times when i know that he puposely did it, i can't hold it,

He has no reason of keeping those things,

show him love ke? he bullies her and hold on to her stuff and some ppl are telling her to show him love?

which kind love? holding on toher bank cards and passport? even if he got them for her - are they not in her name?

Look @poster - if you are ready to get rid of him - call him and tell him politely that he should return those belongings with your personal info on it. Give him 7days. If he doesnt you have 2options.

1. Go to the police and report them stolen - taken and kept by someone other than the owner without your consent

2. Cancel the cards and the passport and - report them stolen to bank and gov't and ask for new ones to be issued - let him eat those ones in his possession.

Na by force? - if a girl no want do again, leave her - dontpersecute her for expressing her mind!

If you enjoy being punished - continue going back to him and begging him - then he would know you really have his time and he has 'control' over you. I am sorry but for some men, it is all about knowing tehy have their woman under control no matter the circumstances, they blow the whislte and she jumps

break free - it is not a healthy r/ship and if he wont try to change his habits or reduce them for you, and you are not prepared to put up with it any longer - then it is only fair that you can leave the r/ship without feeling like he is out to agonise you

He take your international passport and you dey look for friends? Oh maybe you mean the Police are your friends!

luxoire:

show him love ke? he bullies her and hold on to her stuff and some ppl are telling her to show him love?

which kind love? holding on toher bank cards and passport? even if he got them for her - are they not in her name?

Look @poster - if you are ready to get rid of him - call him and tell him politely that he should return those belongings with your personal info on it. Give him 7days. If he doesnt you have 2options.

1. Go to the police and report them stolen - taken and kept by someone other than the owner without your consent

2. Cancel the cards and the passport and - report them stolen to bank and gov't and ask for new ones to be issued - let him eat those ones in his possession.

Na by force? - if a girl no want do again, leave her - dontpersecute her for expressing her mind!

If you enjoy being punished - continue going back to him and begging him - then he would know you really have his time and he has 'control' over you. I am sorry but for some men, it is all about knowing tehy have their woman under control no matter the circumstances, they blow the whislte and she jumps

break free - it is not a healthy r/ship and if he wont try to change his habits or reduce them for you, and you are not prepared to put up with it any longer - then it is only fair that you can leave the r/ship without feeling like he is out to agonise you

u sound like the violent type.

wont u feel ashamed reporting ur b/f (i mean ur dirty relationship) to the police or govt.
They are not even legally married for christ sake. No law enforcement agency will want to go into such things. Moreover, the poster never mentioned any case of being bullied, beaten or harrassed. (so nothing to pin him with). Just that he ignore her complaints, keeps doing wat she does't like and recently seized her items.

sounds like the poster still hav feelings for the guy and will take him back if he;s ready to turn a new leaf. No matter how sour a relationship goes, no one can bear it to see his/her ex wallow in pain or suffering (exclusive of exceptional cases). The poster might not want the guy again, but she wouldnt want to see in police custdy due to the fact that she once loved him.

@poster, u said he knows how to qoute the bible. Knowing the bible and living it are two different things. i want u to know that though u hav tried ur best to change him and he's not yielding, but there's still somone that can change him which is God. Just trust him to take control and like i said, try trashing things out wit him and inquire for reasons why he seized ur items.

that should help.

tosyne007:

u sound like the violent type.

wont u feel ashamed reporting ur b/f (i mean ur dirty relationship) to the police or govt.
They are not even legally married for christ sake. No law enforcement agency will want to go into such things. Moreover, the poster never mentioned any case of being bullied, beaten or harrassed. (so nothing to pin him with). Just that he ignore her complaints, keeps doing wat she does't like and recently seized her items.

sounds like the poster still hav feelings for the guy and will take him back if he;s ready to turn a new leaf. No matter how sour a relationship goes, no one can bear it to see his/her ex wallow in pain or suffering (exclusive of exceptional cases). The poster might not want the guy again, but she wouldnt want to see in police custdy due to the fact that she once loved him.

@poster, u said he knows how to qoute the bible. Knowing the bible and living it are two different things. i want u to know that though u hav tried ur best to change him and he's not yielding, but there's still somone that can change him which is God. Just trust him to take control and like i said, try trashing things out wit him and inquire for reasons why he seized ur items.

that should help.

if standing up to a guy makes me violent then so be it - why has he got her documents in the first place?
If the tables were turned andshe held his personal docs - there is no saying what a person like this might do to get them back or make her 'pay'
why does he want to inflict 'agony' and 'frustration' over someone he claimed to have loved?
if the police do not listen because they are not married, then let her cancel all the documents and leave them with him - when he is tired he will come back and either beg for forgiveness or leave her alone - it will be upt to her to decide what she wants to do with him them

bullingy does not have to entail harrassment or beating - just inflicting any form of physical or psychological pain constantly on someone can be perceived as bullying.

I suppose we all have different ways of dealing with things - but a guy who insists on hurting me is of no use to me! If i do things he doesnt like, then let us try and talk like adults and work things out or go our separate ways rather than him behaving irrationally.
I suppose now the poster knows what she may potentially be in for, if she stays with him longer, hence why i think she decided to end it.

Just take it easy, you will someday soon be fine.

Am quiting my relationship today, , i need friends to keep me going, the funniest part is that the guy went away with plent of my stuff to mention but few, cell phone, international passport, 3 ATM cards with other document,

People usually seize things as its an excuse to still keep in touch and communicate some way whilst trying to get them back. I suspect u are also dragging the issue along and dont want ur stuff back asap as it means the communication lines are still open.

There is no need for drama here, If u really want to end the relationship, let the stuff go. You can get a new cell phone (in fact if an issue, i will send u one free), you most certainly can get a new passport(Intl - just go to the embassy), and you can replace ur ATM cards.
Just do that and close the chapter - its much easier and less messy.

DONT YOU HAVE A BROTHER OR COUSIN THAT CAN STAND UP TO HIM? or even a close family friend?

Especially a guy that is alittle on the rough side? Just let him kno and he return it in a gifi

HUM,

@poster,

Sorry oh, am really short of words to tell you. But dont you have relatives as in elderly ones in your house that  can help you find solution to this problem. Anyway in this whole issue, the guy still wants you thats why he is keeping your thing because he knew you cant do without those things,if you tell your people and he refuses, then i will advise you go to his relatives am sure they can help, tell them you are no longer interested dont be harsh, just tell them what you have been going through that you are fedup and you need your things back.

Please dont go to the police it will not end the way you expect and it will be shameful,imagine how you will feel telling the police about your relationship, they will add salt and sugar and start laughing at you, my dear am talking from experience dont ever try it.

Goodluck.

@ benheart, yeah i can't go to police, even trying to talk to his senior sis, she was just laughing, guess he has gone to meet his sister and tell her everything that has happen.

Well when i return from work yesterday, i met him at my place, with some gift and food stuff which i did not give a dam , and he was really looking like someone that has been sick for some days.

I tried not to talk to him but i could not help.

He returns every other things to me exception of my passport, i asked him why still keeping my pasport, he said because am still angry with him and my action shows that i don't want him agian blabla bla,

Ok. see i told you he still wants you that was why he took does things, just play cool with him for now so that he can return your passport, then show him the door.

If he buys you gift, my dear collect it but be very careful dont fall for him again if not what he will do next will be worst and keep your things away from his sight when you have gotten your passport.

ammamat:

@ benheart,  yeah  i can't go to police,  even trying to talk to his senior sis,  she was just laughing,  guess he has gone to meet his sister and tell her everything that has happen.

Well when i return from work yesterday, i met him at my place,  with some gift and food stuff which i did not give a dam ,  and he was really looking like someone that has been sick for some days.

I tried not to talk to him but i could not help.

He returns every other things to me exception of my passport, i asked him why  still keeping my pasport, he said  because am still angry with him and my action shows that i don't want him agian blabla bla,

Dont stress about the passport it can be replace easily. Jus let him keep it.

benheart:

Ok. see i told you he still wants you that was why he took does things, just play cool with him for now so that he can return your passport, then show him the door.

[b]If he buys you gift, my dear collect it [/b]but be very careful dont fall for him again if not what he will do next will be worst and keep your things away from his sight when you have gotten your passport.

U r nt serious. U want him collect more things from her?

whitelexi:

Are u planning to end a relationship after it has ended

No she is trying to do the part 2 i remember when i was small it was always like GENGEN GENGEN ESHISHIN CARRY PONMO
@poster on a more serious note i feel terribly sorry.,
Next time keep ur eyes wide open and make the right choice
(BIGHEAD Laghing his dirty black ass off)

@ammanat - Why do u persist in dragging this story on!!. As i said in my previous post, i suspect there is part of you that does not want this to end. Let him keep them. Its not the end of the world afterall. JUST LEAVE THE THINGS AND MOVE ON!!

Romeo4real:

@ammanat - Why do u persist in dragging this story on!!. As i said in my previous post, i suspect there is part of you that does not want this to end. Let him keep them. Its not the end of the world afterall. JUST LEAVE THE THINGS AND MOVE ON!!

Excatly. Mayb she stil wana communicate wit da guy

report to police so dat they can declare him wanted and try get ur things back to disable ur atm codes from the banks you use.
hook me for plutonic affairs if u dont mind. tayo25cent@yahoo.com

NA WA FOR YOU TEMMY.

person de pass through bush she never come out u de talk of platonic abi na plutonic you talk sef.

you spoil oh.