I've got a friend who is at a cross roads. He's the second out of five kids from a family that is quite 'different'. The father is from an affluent family, but the mother was your typical village girl. They've been married for over 25yrs and now things are at a stand still. His Dad loves his mother more than anything and the one time he disobeyed her was by marrying the wife who wasn't what the mum wanted. The mum has always abused the wife and the dad looked the other way. To cut a long story short, they now live in seperate houses. The dad is paying rent for the house where they stay since the dad said he doesnt want to live with the mum or any of the kids any longer. The boy has had enough, the first child died in a car accident, after telling the parents to get their act together but nothing changed. Now the boy wants to go to school to get a Masters, because he's been idle for awhile with no job. He has no support from the mum( doesn't want to be left alone and doesn't want to address the situation) or dad ( the dad doesn't like any of them asking him for help, it's a burden to him even though he can afford it, he gets nasty and wont budge) and his siblings won't support his decision because they feel it will rock the boat further( are afraid and want to wait it out). I dont know what to tell him he as a lil money saved, and with some practical calculations he could get out of Naija and go to skool. He doesn't want to think of it as abdoning his family, but he feels someone has to step up and break the cycle, what do i tell him, i'm stuck?

oh boy, no one's got any ideas, this is serious!

Somewhat serious But according to my own thoughts and opinion, he has a future ahead of him. I would think if he knows a better life is out there for him rather than close to home, then he should go for it to be successful and help himself and mother since the dad is turning a deaf ear. Assuming he cannot do anything here back home, and just staying with the mum, of what use? There would be nothing on the table, so if he feels abroad is best for him, get his Masters, highest 2yrs or not up to, then come back, who says he wouldn't be able to get a more rewarding job back home and help his mum too.


Another, wonder why the dad married the mum in the first place against his own mum's wish if he knew he wouldn't stand it or back off after a while ?

Thanks Monicaa, i guess i want to be able to tell him that it will be ok. As for the dad, i won't touch it, thats past tense in my book, his future is all i'm interested in.

In my life i've always learn how 2 4give and 4get. I'll just overlooked the issue and move on!

The young man should pursue the best course for his own future fiirst. There is no need for him to stay back and waste his opportunities. His parents' choices were their own. It is time for him to chart his own course in life.

As Monicaa said.  . .of what benefit would it do to anyone if he decides to stay at home since his dad is not willing to help him out.  . .He got to go there and fend for himself.  . .



trust me it won't be long before the father realizes his mistakes and come begging. . .I just hope it ain't too late by then!

Just tell him to go 4 his studies abroad,coz i hav dat believe dat his dad will soon realize his shortcomings and come begin him. If you can just give him some hope and courage dat wen the time comes he will surely gets a better place to work. In a nut shell just think b4 u advice.
Bye

No debates,he shld go for his masters.With a good education and job,he can confidently take care of his mum and other siblings.