THE SILENT PAIN OF FATHERS.
.A brother wrote:
In the beginning, every father is once a child in the craddle, the very first disappointment that comes his way is that every time he goes to his nursery sch and gets beaten by his class mate, when he reports at home, he gets beaten again for being a coward unable to fight his mate.
A time comes that he either of two things happen:
Either he takes d courage to fight back or he stops reporting at home and gets beaten and oppressed in sch often.
The former is likely to grow up into a strong man while the latter is likely to grow up into a weakling who continues to get oppressed all his life even from his wife.
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As a child grow into a boy, he is more fond of rough plays like: football, race, wrestling, climbing trees and falling, and each of these are accompanied wit injuries which he may suffer for weeks silently.
But as for a girl, she is more fond of gardening, skipping, toy games, irrigation, sweeping or cooking which hardly comes wit any injury.
This is d reason why d body of a boy is filled wit injuries while dat of a girl is smooth and take away.
If it happens dat d boy is d first born, he alwys gets beaten by d parents anytime smtin bad happens to d girl in sch, as if d parents expect him to watch d girl 24/7.
While d girls are either sent to sweep or cook, the boys are either sent to fetch water frm d stream or go to farm.
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As the boy grows into a teenager, he finds himself wit his sister in a seconrdary sch. Most of the times, d parents will send a larger amount of money to d girl while sending a smaller amount to the boy, because its assumed dat a boy can hustle to survive but a girl is fragile and she can't endure hardship. If some parents had only 1000naira, dey would rather send it to the girl and tell the boy to exercise patience. Such is the irony of being a man.
Even in school, if the lecturer deliberately wants to fail students, the girls can get pass marks by merely giving d lecturer a smile or a wink, but the boys cannot pass until dey pay him their hard earned pocket money.
Infact, if a man wants to travel and he is broke, he can stand on the road for 2hrs and he won't get a lift, but it takes a girl just 5mins to get a lift.
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After graduating, when it comes to the hustle for jobs, a man can be kept waiting in the reception for hours, but when a lady walks in for the same purpose, she is allowed to enter immediately as if the MD has been expecting her.
In some crooked organisations, if a woman graduates wit 3rd class, as long as she got figure 8 and nice hips, she gets the job instantly, but if a man have even a first-class or upper , he have to go thru interviews and aptitude tests before he gets d "hope" of being employed.
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When a man starts working, people expect him to use his money to get an accomodation and a car/business, but the woman is expected to use her own money for shopping, travelling, upgrading her wardrobe?
Before marriage, the man is expected to:
-have a good accomodation
-have a car
-have a well paying job
-then propose
-expect d result of d proposal after weeks or months as if na waec exam
-start preparing for atleast, half a million naira wedding.
-buy yams, red oil, dry fish, salt and others.
But as for the woman, she is only expected to say:
-YES, to the proposal.
Such is life anyway.
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In marriage,
-The man drops the money for food every morning when going to work, but he only gets to eat dinner, reminants attimes.
The man works tirelessly for the salary for 30 days every month, yet its the mother and kids that enjoys 90% of the salary.
-the man pays for DStv subscription but he only gets to watch it on sundays
-the man pays for NEPA bills, yet he doesn't even enjoy it for 8hrs in every day, cos he is always at work.
-the man takes d kids to sch and brings dem back home everyday, yet the kids always say:
"I love you mum", but they never say those same words to dad.
-when d food is sweet, the kids gives d credit to mummy, but they never say anything to d daddy who went to the market to buy them.
-whenever d children return home from a long journey, as soon as dey are stepping into the house, they first thing they say is:
"Mummy am home", but daddy is only greeted in his room 5mins after mummy has been kissed and hugged by the children.
-mums are assumed to be the queen of the house while dads are seen as the sacrificial lambs.
-when kids have assignments, they quickly take it to their father, but when dey get their exam results, they first show it to their mother.
-when there is a PTA meeting in sch, the kids first tell their mum about it, whereas na the papa dey pay their school fees.
-when a daughter has found a suitor, she tells her mum first, she will only tell her dad about it after several months, upon say na her papa go be the guardian.
-when a son wants to go and seek for job, he asks his father to pray for him, but when he finally gets the job, he informs his mother first, via phone call, he only informs his dad several hours later.
-during daddy's birthday, no one remembers that daddy's age has increased, but during mum's birthday, everyone remembers it.
-even if dad uses a torchlight nokia wrapped wit rubber band, no one notices it, but if mum's expensive i-pad spoils, everyone summons an emergency family meeting for d replacement of mum's phone.
-if daddy doesn't upgrade his cupboard for two years, no one notices, but if mum doesn't upgrade her own for 2months, everyone notices.
-everyone sends text to mum, but no one sends to daddy
-when the children are in school, they always call mummy to greet her, but they only call daddy when they want to ask for money.
-when the children call their mum, the call lasts for 8 or 10mins, but when dey call daddy, it hardly exceeds 30seconds.
-everyone calls mummy, but everyone only flashes daddy.
-gifts are always bought for mummy, but dads are always "assumed" not to love gifts.
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This is the sorry condition of many fathers of today, it happens because mums are naturally closer to their kids than dads who are hardly at home because of duty calls. Yet he gets to pay hardly whereas he was far from home because he was trying to make ends meet. Children hardly gist wit their fathers, yet when daddy wants to take another wife, all the kids and their mother gangs up against him.
Children hardly appreciate dad's effort, they always turn blind eyes to it, until dad is no more, that's when they begin to miss him and realize his importance.
Dad's suffer a lot, attimes they have to enter the hot sun or the rain to work, perhaps he gets minor accident attimes, which he may conceal because he doesn't want anyone to be worried about him, he suffers the injuries silently alone. He may even get deformed.
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The trend continues until dad exhausts his youth, his strength, becomes old, weakens wit grey hair and wears out, yet all that period, he is being neglected and seen as a "burden". His newspaper becomes his closest companion in the house.
Some children address their dads sarcastically as "my old man".
Some children even take their dad's and DUMP them in the old people's home.
Truth is, our fathers spend their lives labouring for us, dey don't even want our mothers to work, so as not to stress themselves, our fathers work tirelessly, yet they hardly get a "thank you" from d kids, its the mum that gets all the credits, but when there is poverty in d house, everyone blames d dad.
Until the lonely man thinks and thinks and thinks till he gets a high blood pressure, then a stroke, then coma, then DEATH.
Its after the death of daddy that the kids will now say:
"Daddy I love you, I will miss you" for the first time.
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Appreciate both mum and dad, some don't have mums, and some don't have dads, and some don't have both. We however acknowledge d sacrifices and efforts of a mother in child upbringing, but today's topic is about fathers, for once, let's talk about fathers.
I wish my father was still alive, I miss him. Show some love to ur dad today, it may be too late tomorrow. I love u daddy, can't wait to see you smile at me in heaven, by God's grace. Show him care today, for one day, u will look around the house, but he will be no more, all you will see is his favourite chair EMPTY.

Very touching. I lost my dad in 2009 and i have already made so many mistakes in my life. I missed his advise alot

Very touching

There's a saying in Bini that 'what prevented baba (father) from sewing agbada (gown/robe) for Christmas and from sewing sokoto (trousers) for New Year, it is only when the child grows up that he will know.

Stop lying to yourself. Fathers do not do even half of what you wrote up there!.

fem29:
Stop lying to yourself. Fathers do not do even half of what you wrote up there!.

Maybe your father, mine did much more.

May God bless our fathers.

Long live our Fathers!!!

Silent pain, indeed!

Finally somebody with the same opinion.

fem29:
Stop lying to yourself. Fathers do not do even half of what you wrote up there!.

A single parent child sighted. You should ask your mom why your dad didn't do any of the mentioned here. I've a very cute lil niece abd youth need to see the love I show her talk more of my brother, her dad.

Op, a touching one. I must openly confess that my dad who is retiring is enjoying a payback for all his good deeds ranging from a car gift to seeing his kids prosper and in good terms with him. May all dad live long!

fem29:
Stop lying to yourself. Fathers do not do even half of what you wrote up there!.

Eya someone with Daddy issues spotted, I grew up with mom taking care of me too, but seriously how many father's have you meant, because your statement falls under fallacy of composition.

pacino26:


A single parent child sighted. You should ask your mom why your dad didn't do any of the mentioned here. I've a very cute lil niece abd youth need to see the love I show her talk more of my brother, her dad.

Op, a touching one. I must openly confess that my dad who is retiring is enjoying a payback for all his good deeds ranging from a car gift to seeing his kids prosper and in good terms with him. May all dad live long!

Well my grandfather is someone that I can is the real MVP, that dude worked and sent 7 of his kids to school and other maids too both male and female and also other family members. He never gave a shit whether he was thanked or not, being a dad is a thankless job.

Fathers do all these, mums do much more. They can easily switch places and try being the woman for a change.

pcguru1:


Well my grandfather is someone that I can is the real MVP, that dude worked and sent 7 of his kids to school and other maids too both male and female and also other family members. He never gave a shit whether he was thanked or not, being a dad is a thankless job.

Don't get me wrong, there's no gratification enough to pay for a father's care and love or the overall family duty. You can only make him know you appreciate the efforts by being near-what he pictured you to be or successful in whatever venture you indulge in. That's good enough but when he sees that good bottle, some cards on birthdays and other little acts that puts smile on his face, that's fulfilling bro.

fathers are awesome I Adore my dad

pacino26:


Don't get me wrong, there's no gratification enough to pay for a father's care and love or the overall family duty. You can only make him know you appreciate the efforts by being near-what he pictured you to be or successful in whatever venture you indulge in. That's good enough but when he sees that good bottle, some cards on birthdays and other little acts that puts smile on his face, that's fulfilling bro.

Seriously I think it's sad

LastMumu:
Born Liar, if you truly work on Sats, the _fuck are you doing on nairaland then.?

Haba I comment while working what kinda statement is that, ur name truly fits you.

My Daddy, My Pride

LastMumu:
Born Liar, if you truly work on Sats, the _fuck are you doing on nairaland then.?

You're working doesn't mean you won't have no time for nairaland at all. I mean, nairaland can be accessed with your phone!!

fem29:
Stop lying to yourself. Fathers do not do even half of what you wrote up there!.

Sorry. We understand

I and my dad were never close, its been a really long time I've seen him face to face going to 4 years now. I'm not to blame, he made his choice.

pcguru1:

Eya someone with Daddy issues spotted, I grew up with mom taking care of me too, but seriously how many father's have you meant, because your statement falls under fallacy of composition.

You are daft. My dad was VERY involved in our lives. He made sure we dis well in school, was very actively involved in getting us admitted into every schooled went to. When there was no driver took us to school and picked us up!. He did a lot and was a good father, but he didn't do half of that crap up there.

So no, sorry to burst your bubble I didn't come from a single parent household like you.

pacino26:


A single parent child sighted. You should ask your mom why your dad didn't do any of the mentioned here. I've a very cute lil niece abd youth need to see the love I show her talk more of my brother, her dad.

Op, a touching one. I must openly confess that my dad who is retiring is enjoying a payback for all his good deeds ranging from a car gift to seeing his kids prosper and in good terms with him. May all dad live long!

Again another daft one. My father was a great dad, he was involved in every aspect of our lives. Going to the market? Not buying clothes for himself? A beg stop lying to yourselves

fem29:


You are daft. My dad was VERY involved in our lives. He made sure we dis well in school, was very actively involved in getting us admitted into every schooled went to. When there was no driver took us to school and picked us up!. He did a lot and was a good father, but he didn't do half of that crap up there.

So no, sorry to burst your bubble I didn't come from a single parent household like you.

Am not the one saying father's don't do half of that based on her experience and using that basis as fact for a general population. Though I admit I apologize for the daddy issues part, I assumed I was talking to a teenager.

pcguru1:

Eya someone with Daddy issues spotted, I grew up with mom taking care of me too, but seriously how many father's have you meant, because your statement falls under fallacy of composition.

You are daft. My dad was VERY involved in our lives. He made sure we did well in school, was very actively involved in getting us admitted into every school we went to. When there was no driver took us to school and picked us up!. He did a lot and was a good father, but he didn't do half of that crap up there.

So no, sorry to burst your bubble I didn't come from a single parent household like you.

pcguru1:


Am not the one saying father's don't do half of that based on her experience and using that basis as fact for a general population. Though I admit I apologize for the daddy issues part, I assumed I was talking to a teenager.

Because what that person wrote up there is just rubbish. If truly dad's do all that then why would kids prefer mum. Children are not stupid. They know who does what. Nowadays most women do not sit at home with the kids all day anymore and wait for daddy to bring home money. They go out to work as well and come home to take care of the kids.

Maybe he should rephrase the title as a father who's wife does not work's pain!

fem29:


Because what that person wrote up there is just rubbish. If truly dad's do all that then why would kids prefer mum. Children are not stupid. They know who does what. Nowadays most women do not sit at home with the kids all day anymore and wait for daddy to bring home money. They go out to work as well and come home to take care of the kids.

Maybe he should rephrase the title as a father who's wife does not work's pain!

Children bond more with mother's because mother's have lobger maternity leave and more bond with the child, no matter how much busy they both are, a child always has a soft spot for the mother because of familiarity. Most of times most dad don't get much praises as the mums, even in working class homes.

pcguru1:

Children bond more with mother's because mother's have lobger maternity leave and more bond with the child, no matter how much busy they both are, a child always has a soft spot for the mother because of familiarity. Most of times most dad don't get much praises as the mums, even in working class homes.

Hmm not true oooo. In most oyinbo homes, that I have seen personally, maternity leave or not, kids are as attached to their dads as much as their mums , sometimes they even prefer dad sef . This is because bringing up a child is seen as both parents job not just the mums job, the dads are so involved in the kids lives.

My dad though not perfect was a great dad. I remember he used to take all 5 of us kids on outings. Amusement park , beach etc. RIP daddy