girl,

i guess he's kind of protecting you but he is over protecting you,he should learn to trust you for once no matter

what, what i think is that you should call him to order by telling him to the face that you hate such attitude.

go over to my blog below to read more on how to handle this situation.

It is normal for every guy to be jealous.all guys are.but ur boyfriend's own is too extreme.sit him down and talk to him that u dont have any intention of cheating on him.cos it is gettin 2 mch.i mean dis guy wants to practically cut u off from the society by his jealousy.so talk to him.make him trust you.maybe wen u are together leave ur fone,dont hold on to it.leave it where he can easily pick it up.if u do this,he wil realize u dont ve anything to hide and stop it.i believe he can change.

your guy is insecure

and i doubt this will change when you get married, wouldnt be surprised if he says you shouldnt work

jealousy is not love, and pls posters should not compare this to God. if God was that posessive we would not have our own freewill

he does not own you so what is he protecting, jealousy never prevented people from breaking up
maybe cos he's your first bf, u dont know how different it could be

TheSeeker:

Jealousy is normal, but it becomes excessive stupidity when you throw up a fit for some unconfirmed information or the very wrong reasons. Then, if you understand and trust your woman, why get jealous at all?

well said brotha!!!!

@poster
- that guy doesnt TRUST you one bit. the foundation of any relationship/dating and marriages are trust and honesty (along with some few other stuff) so you have to be aware that from the get go, your relationship/marriage will lack in something fundamental and therefore is bound to be a difficult, if not, doomed one. also it is safe to say that if you dont let him know that its a problem then he will never know/believe that and will always think that what he does his normal and ok with you.

- i believe that it will get even worst the day you get married. the way he treats you now(and you are only dating( can only get worst the day you get married. his insecurity will make your life miserable as you will never be able to have friends, socialize at work with colleagues etc. marriage isnt prison and this man will never let you be yourself.

- this kind of jealousy can only result in trouble. the fact that he doesnt hit you or is violent with you doesnt mean that he will never be. at the moment you are only his GF, while men that get married believe that their spouse are their property (especially in 9ja). jealousy is a form of control and shows your bf as being a possessive person, insecure, controlling, incensitive to your happiness etc. before you marry this man, you have to get him to face whatever is troubling him because ignoring this fact NOW can only lead to failure. there is a big problem in your relationship that will never go/fade away.
the extreme jealousy can sometimes lead to grave bodily harm or death so do not take it lightly.

- communication is the first step. you have to sit down with him and make him understand that his jealousy is a cancer in your relationship. make him understand that accusing you of doing something you have not done is only going to make you step away further and further from him until one day you WILL cheat.
also it is safe to say that if he had a gf who cheated on him in the past, YOU shouldnt have to suffer because of his exes stupidity.

poster, does he act all bossy in the relationship? I mean apart from check-mating you, does he take charge of every other thing unnecessarily? If so this my advise may not count.

Listen up real quick. I want you to also cultivate the habit of check-mating him with all due procedures he has been check-mating you with, even if you can add more to the procedures, it will only make it more better. This will make him sit down one day and think about ur own insecurity towards him and that will also automatically give him the feeling that you care about him and love him so much, even though it aint the right thing to do. But trust me gurl, if u do that, he'll surely relax from check-mating you, because I feel u have not by any slight means express any form of mistrust towards him that has made this man so so insecure about you, or you probably have made a move for him to have been Excessively jealous.

Try that technique and I am sure it will work.

@Poster,
am a very jealous guy my self but let me tell you something about that ur guy which you dont know. he is the biggest cheat you can ever think of,which is why he thinks u are too. what is wrong with him is insecurity and thank ur stars u brought up this issue in the forum. dont use because both family are aware of the relationship and get married to him because he can never change. not even if he went for deliverance. it is in his blood and cant ever leave. and mind you he is not jealous, he is a fool and a cheat.

What exactly do you people feel jealousy is?

If I know a guy who's going out with someone I want for myself, I could get jealous. But how can I get jealous of someone that is mine and I'm hers?

If you say the guy is suspicious, I can understand. But for him to be jealous, that means your love belongs to someone else or you share a better relationship with someone else.

If you man is suspicious, give him assurance but if his jealous, take what you're giving someone else and give it to him.

pls consider mariah carey's 'Butterfly'. Ponder on the highlighted portions.

Butterfly


When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears
inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Verse

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit diesYou have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Bridge

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way
it feels to fly

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly
So flutter through the sky
BUTTERFLY


Love isn't about being dangerously possessive,true love isn't selfish.

If care isn't taken he may suspect you're banging the driver or houseboy in the not too distant future,

REMEMBER HE DOESN'T OWN YOU,HE ^{'s supposed to} LOVE YOU

A friend told me from the very day his ex told him how she gave her ex blow jobs, he completely lost it on her, love faded, trust was a big issue, jealousy crept in, anger, twas more of tolerance till it gave way but she never knew where it all started from. So I feel you are sending a wrong messsage of distrust to him and thats what he is working on. You have to make him trust you. Trust is earned not deserved.

Talk to him abt how u feel and if he doesn't change, i will advise u to leave him

When I hear girls complaining that their boyfriends are jealous, I find it funny. We attract who we are into our lives.
If he's acting jealous, ask yourself, what signals you are sending out. If hes jealous, then probably, you also have the same
behavior on a deep subconscious level, as we only bond with people who are like ourselves.
At times, when girls talk about jealousy, they mean "My boyfriend doesn't want me to flirt with other guys any more and wants me to be responsible".
So I believe you should do some serious self examination. Maybe you are acting in ways that make him jealous. Its easier to blame others for situations we are in, but the only person we can change is ourselves.
Be good now!