Baba Bubu by Wale Ayinla
Episode 1

It is just few days to his one year anniversary, and Baba Bubu has decided to abort his frolicking itineraries that has been tagged of him since he began to live in The House of His House. He is known to have received the title of the Best Traveller from Ajala -the jobless man that travelled all over the world, and also, the title of the Best Time Waster from his friend, Muga, who lives in another African House.

He is sitting in a leather-strapped chair in The House, in one of the rooms that could be converted to offices. He is reminiscing on what, and how his recent visit to China has begun to help His people. He remembers how the Chinese People had followed him to see the Forbidden Temple. He remembers that prior to the itinerary, the only place he had heard of the temple was in movies that starred Brule Lee, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan, and getting to China, he had made it a major of his baseless visit, to check out the temple. Only God knows if he witnessed a training session of the martial art students of the temple.

He remembers one of the sons of His House, the one who wished him death before he sat in The House, the one who criticizes him on almost all of his decisions.

"Why did Ay come to China to embarrass me, not only me, himself, and His House, by coming over to China with a wooden pulpit?" He pauses. He begins to soliloquy.

"He could have, at least, borrowed a glass pulpit from a famous church in His House, or better still, come with some cash and buy a glass pulpit there," He says. His eyes is frowning now, his forehead now has some thin lines -sitting side by side- above his eyes.
He remembers that prices of things -generally- has skyrocketed within his first year of sitting in The House. He remembers that just last week, he read in a local newspaper that tomato is now the new gold. He remembers the day a journalist asked him about subsidy and he replied, "I don't know what subsidy is." He remembers that the next day, he had call FemFem, his adviser to come and explain it to him.

He is no longer sitting on the chair. He calls Bayu, his photographer, to come and take a shot of him having an aerial view of the city.

"I'd prefer standing close to the glass-adorned window. Switch off one of those flourescent so that I can have a reflection on the window, and in the photograph," he says.

With no much ado, the young-spirited man runs towards the switch-box and switches one off. Now, Baba Bubu is about to have his shot, with hands akimbo.

"Let me see, Bayu."

"Here it is, sah," he says.

"It's good. Upload it on the social media, and let people know that I have them in mind."

"I'll do just that, sah!" Bayu says.

There is a random knock at the door, a knock that is familiar to only one person, FemFem.

"Baba Bubu, how do you do?"

"I'm not fine o," he says. He moves to a chair and sits.

"What's the problem, Baba?" FemFem asks. He sits opposite Baba Bubu, and the table divides them both.

"Bayu, you can leave," Baba Bubu says. The young man leaves, but not until FemFem tells him that his wife is waiting for him at the reception.

"Let me know what's bothering your mind, Baba," FemFem says, placing his hands on the table as he bends his back.

"What can you say about my response to that PM that said that My House is 'fantastically corrupt'?" The room is silent. FemFem looks lost.

"Baba, I don't think you need to bother yourself about this issue," he pauses. "Your People have gone far in fighting the PM for you. Just yesterday, I read on Nairaland about how this same PM's father was caught in this same act," FemFem says.

"Ehn..Ehn! Gaskiyani! But-"

"You were with the PM and you both spoke on this issue. He apologised to you."

"Privately! Don't forget to put that," Baba Bubu says.

A call comes in from The Man from Lagos. Baba swiftly picks up his iPhone. The conversation is now reading up to five minutes. FemFem is no longer comfortable with it, but Baba's responses, "Yes, sah," "Okay," amongst others is making it hard for him to decipher what the subject, and who the caller is.

"I need to call the Army General."

"Why? Who was that?"

"It's The Man From Lagos. He said that I should tell the Army General to send his boys to Sambisa,"

"Why? For what?"

"You know, he said that some of the Chibok girls, at least few, need to be saved before my one year anniversary," Baba says. He is standing now, walking towards the window. FemFem swirls his neck to tailor his eyes on him.

"Do you think that's possible?"

"I'm sure it is," Baba says. He walks towards FemFem, bends over, and places his mouth close to his left ear. He says some words and FemFem replies with, "Oh! Now I get it. That will help in distracting The People from the tussles of Our House."

Baba stands upright and walks over to his seat. He is not sitting down. He picks up his Nokia 3310 from the pile of files on the table. The sound of the keypad echoes like that of the monitor of an intravenous chemotherapy.

"Hello. Save the greetings for yourself. Deploy your boys down to Sambisa -some girls need to be saved."

The voice on the other end of the phone is still. Baba hangs up the call and returns the phone. Now, his face is lightened with a smile. He's no longer frowned up like he was a couple of minutes ago. FemFem rises to his feet and shakes his hand.

"With this, we are assured of distorting The People from the things going on in Our House," FemFem says.
*************

Disclaimer warning: All names mentioned in this series are fictitious, hence, the reader is responsible for how and what he understands.
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