my dear i will really advise you 2 stick with your wife and try to put everthing in prayer to God.with God all things are possible. the next person you may leave your wife for,may even be worse than her.remember all that glitter is not gold.talk to her,share your fears and appreciate her good sides.be happy to be alive and even have a wife. those in the grave dont have any story to tell. takia and goodluck.

You are truly the problem of your marriage,

As long as she's not a witch, she's good looking to some degree, she's cultured, honest, eduacted, and loves you, then you have a very big problem. And the problem is, ' you want to live a fake life, flirt around with other girls and do away with responsibilities.

Grow up and start looking forward to the great rewards this marriage will bring forth.

You signed a LIFE CONTRACT out of Pressure from folks??  You gotta be kiddin me,

Marriage my dear is a life contract. A contract of over 50 years if both live long. But as you've got series of advice here, this is not the time to cry over spilt milk o! You are in it for a wrong reason but you gotta to give yourself the right reason to continue in it. And the right reason is, SHE LOVES YOU!!!!! Nothing as valuable as a woman who genuinely loves a man. You'll agree with me most of the Chics out there base their love on material things.

My brother, the way of out this is not Divorce o!!! Why? That her GENUINE love for you is not something easy to come by, The way out is for YOU to RECIPROCATE her love. Love her for who she is. She might not be so beautiful, not have the kinda shape you want, not be as sexy as you really want, but you can help bring out the beauty in her by making her happy. You'll be surprised how her sparkling smiles will turn her looks around. By the way, what keeps a marriage going is not physical looks but character. Looks decay,

Here's my strong advice to you for the future, Never make marital or career decisions to make your folks happy. You suffer the aftermath of such decisions ALONE!! Yeah, you can listen to advice, but take your decisions yourself.

All the best.

mrperfect:

Hand it over to God nothing God cannot do

Guess he didn't hand it over to God b4 he got married to her.If it is not God's Will,it is not his Bill.

@poster,
Too bad you've found youself in such a situation. The only thing I can say is that you have to learn to love her. Even the person you said you wanted to marry, chances are that a situation might come when you 'grow out of love', I think its called marriage. You have to find a way of working it out. Good enough you said she loves you, thats half of the problem solved. Maybe you should try and spend more time with her. Look for things in her that you really like and try and forget that you were forced to marry her.

I wish you the best.

There is no "right' or "wrong" husband/wife bros. Marriage is all manage.
If you can't manage you're finished. Kaput.
She will destroy you or you will destroy her

U made a mistake, ehnn so wat?? Why are u making a mountain out of a mole-hill? Have'nt u ever heard of the word divorce?? or better still, if u are so concerned abt pple around u- just disappear, MISS from area! run far away. Make dem find u tire, dem no well.
Hope say u never get plenty pickins'? Marriage no be by force jare??

Blah Blah Blah, what if the table turns round?

@poster what will u do if u find urself in a situation where ur wife do not love u and u really love her?

please House let him answer the Question b4 we lash him the more.

@poster over to you if genuinely u r looking for solution here.[color=#990000][/color]

You just have to learn to love her. don't even think of divorce because it is not an option at all!!! if you despise her,how do you expect your marriage to work. you just have to focus on her strenghts. she is not totally bad. no woman is. she could make a good wife if you give her the chance. just make your marriage work. it would not be easy but just try your best and it will pay!!!!

A lot of good suggestions had been given to you in this forum.
All you need do is to put into practice some of the nice suggestion
by great minds here.

Among the suggestions include, Love her more, Pray for her,
move closer to her in your haert etc.
I am in total suport of this suggestion. I will also advise you to
move closer to God so that your prayer can be answered!

Be careful NEVER to think of sending her away, because if
you marry another person it could be from frying pan to
fire.

Peace will reign in your home in Jesus name.

YOU ARE A BIG FOOL
YOUR EYE BLIND B4 YOU MARRY AM
ABI IM PAPA HOLD DOUBLE BARREL SHOTGUN FOR YOUR BACK AT THE WEDDING
I AM TIRED OF STUPID THREADS AND YOURS IS A PRIME EXAMPLE

most ladies these days get married 4 wrong reasons, for money to b specific, even if the man is a monster in the making. May God help them all!

These bloody threads that always pop up in the romance section and makes the front page just because they sound silly, and yet three pages, its no surprise Nollywood can make movies in three days and still make a decent buck out of it,
*looks around shakes head and walks away wondering if those silly legislators outlawed divorce*

Abi o!
If u cant send her packing marry another one now

WOT A WASTE OF TIME AND ENERGY, (EVEN THE 1 I'M USING TO TYPE THIS), THIS POSTER IS A SCAM,

DATED FOR HW LONG??
MARRIED FOR HOW LONG??


ABEG SAY SUMTIN ELSE,

THIS KIND OF THINGS SHOULD BE BAND HERE


THE HEIGHT OF SENSELESNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1st it's strange 2 knw dat afta 5yrs of datin u had d intention of putin her away.
2ndly i wan u 2 knw dat u've got nobody 2 blame but yourself. dere's no miss right anywhere mak her wat u lik her 2 b. b her mr right.

@poster,

I feel for you,am in thesame situation my self,its funny how it all happens so fast,before you know it you are married to a stranger and somebody you can't stand.

All you guys keep saying to find something in her to love, not possible,until you are in same situation you will never understand,its hell.

Life is too short to live and not be happy,i hope you have a talk with your parents,and find your happiness.Don't care what people are gonna think about you,its your life,you deserve to be happy.Good luck to you!

@NJ

So in a nutshell what are your advising him to do? DIVORCE? May be you could share with him how you have dealt with your own situation since according to you "it's hell". Also remember to tell us if you are happier or not. Be honest about it please.

Anyway, Mr poster, I guess not a few realistic and good advice have been given here by cool-headed, well tempered members of this forum. All these people singing the music of divorce, ask them if the dance is actually as pleasing afterall. The other day in Houston, a 13 year old boy shot his younger brother in their own house. Where did he get the gun? Their mum's boyfriend had come to the house and probablly placed the gun carelesslly and the boy picked it and as he was playing with it, his brother came close and he pointed it at him may be thinking it for a joke and not knowing that it was loaded, released the trigger and the boy was stone dead. As soon as he got the news, the BF went undergroud. Police is still looking for him for negligence in handling of firearms. Is that the kind of thing you want to expose your kids to? I tell you my man divorce is evil. God never planned for divorce, men are doing it. Ask those who are divorced, is their life better now that they are divorced. I can understand if your spouse has demonstrated sufficient hatred for you, which could potentially be fatal, but in your case, you said your wife loves you, only God knows what else you are looking for. My brother, it is not common these days to find a woman who truly loves her husband so open your eyes wide before you make that step.

If you think may be she is not cute enough for you, may be your status has improved and now the woman that has been there suffering for/with you is no longer worthy to be your wife, go ahead and please yourself. Our people say that 'one will surely find what one is searching for' and again, our people also say that 'a fly without a an adviser accompanies the corpse into the grave'. It's always greener on the other side. Be wise and just do what is only fair - pay your wife back with the same measure of love she has given you otherwise God will not be happy with you. Marriage has been contracted and the rest is history. How/where/why/when you met or got married or who arranged her for is at this moment immaterial. Remember, you are married and God has sanctioned it. Don't put it assunder. At least when you want to divorce her, better go to the sme church and tell the pastor, print IV and distribute among your colleagues, friends, family members, all and sundry and off course NAIRALAND members and let us come and witness the dissolution of your marriage the way the execution of the contract was witnessed. And don't forget to provide better ITEM 7 and enough OWAMBE groovings since you have money to waste.

Spilled milk. . .

@poster

I think you married the wrong person. Seek help

All these people calling for "divorce", are they in Nigeria? This guy has not told us everything but from the little he has, divorce does not look like an option.

When did you realize that she is the wrong person for you?. Did somebody put a gun on your head to marry her? Your story is pathetic and you look pathetic for asking nairalanders to provide comments to your absurd story. This forum should be for serious minded people with real issues or concerns and not imaginary problems because you feel pressured to make a post.

Men marry because they are tired, women because they are curious; both are disappointed

@ poster

nothing spoil, return her back to the store and ask 4 an exchange or a refund, church close!

you'll be fine. just pretend you are still dating her for another 4 years

forget the mistakes of the past, forget the fact that you didnt want to marry her or the fact your parents pushed you into it. what is paramount in now is the fact that she is your wife. you `ve got to treat her as such. you have to live with the fact that you married her and treat her like the wife she is. good a thing she loves you. it makes it easier for you. good luck.

yurs is childs play compared to mine,,,,,we dated 4 9yrs and i bowed to pressure frm my parents 2 marry her cos i was getting close to 30yrs, immediately afta da wedding bubble burst ed , she insulted ma mom who has been her advocate 4 all dis yrs and told my dad 2 go 2 blazes, my siblings wer locked out on my occasions frm my house,if am out of da country.she was a devils incarnate, she hits me wiv all sorts of weapons,,,,,pestle,high heel shoes ,sticks and bite my ear 1day, bt since i wasnt brought up in a violent way i let it pass, bt afta 4mths of dis crazy behaviour , i had 2 kick her out, wat surprised me most was dat her parents took her back wit all pleasure and insulted d living day out of me wen i was invited 2 der hse, well bye gone is bye gone
my lyf has been so miserable since then, hbp everynow and then, i hate women wiv a passion, only God can judge me

Let me believe your story as a fact,that you married her because of family pressure after dating her for five good years,and discovering the that she is not your type.You put yourself in this mess.However you have to go down on your knees to pray for God's intervention,otherwise start thinking of divorce because as they say life has no dupilcate.Because according to one elderly man from  my  village ,a man in the war front is better than a man living with a bad woman in the house.

dewoy:

yurs is childs play compared to mine,,,,,we dated 4 9yrs and i bowed to pressure frm my parents 2 marry her cos i was getting close to 30yrs, immediately afta da wedding bubble burst ed , she insulted ma mom who has been her advocate 4 all dis yrs and told my dad 2 go 2 blazes, my siblings wer locked out on my occasions frm my house,if am out of da country.she was a devils incarnate, she hits me wiv all sorts of weapons,,,,,pestle,high heel shoes ,sticks and bite my ear 1day, bt since i wasnt brought up in a violent way i let it pass, bt afta 4mths of dis crazy behaviour , i had 2 kick her out, wat surprised me most was dat her parents took her back wit all pleasure and insulted d living day out of me wen i was invited 2 der hse, well bye gone is bye gone
my lyf has been so miserable since then, hbp everynow and then, i hate women wiv a passion, only God can judge me

eehhhyaaahh pele.na so women be.One has to be very careful in mate selection.To those babes i think is a misplaced priority.They want a ready-made guy with a good car,well-furnished flat and very good job without caring abt wat elements and values define the man.At the end of d day,u will be disappointed cos u hv chosen some1 whose background does nt mirror urs.How many ladies can sincerely answer y they married?the answers u will get will range from"my mates r gettin married to am gettin close 2 30yrs"   just so unfortunate

I always ask this questions why do we have to marry?
Is it because as Nigerians we are always under undue pressures from one's parents, friends, family, church etc etc?
Every1 starts trying to match make when you start getting past the magic age of 25

Dang!