I Had A Fight With My Husband - Family (6) - Nairaland
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| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Nobody: 1:16pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
My sister, I have to advise you as a married man of almost 15 years standing. Although you did not mention the reason for your quarrel that night, I still will suggest that firstly you try and get in touch with your husband. The Bible says that "a wise woman builds her house with her own hands, while the foolish one tears it down with her hands." Secondly, apologise to him for your using stick on him. Realise that it is very 'unafrican' for a wife to flog her husband (never mind that he beats you up). Thirdly, you guys have to sit down together and talk things over. DON'T EVER CALL THE COPS EXCEPT YOU WANT TO FINALLY DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE. Fourthly, try to talk less. It is not all your husband says that requires your response. I guess I was like your husband in the early stage of my marriage. But when my wife realised that too much talk makes me react in very unpredictable manner, she stopped it. I will personally join you in prayers. It is well. You can mail me on mikel3509@aol.co.uk for further discussion. God bless you. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Fhemmmy: 1:58pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
oludyke: God bless you with that wonderful advice and bless ur home more. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by omar22(m): 2:15pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
DON'T EVER CALL THE COPS EXCEPT YOU WANT TO FINALLY DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE ***EXCUSE ME**** Tell me what should she do when the husband revves up for his next round of beating he is prepared to dish out on the wife? because it seems like its acceptable for the guy to knock 7 bells out of his wife and she should stand still because she has a chin like George Forman!!!! |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by GEW: 2:22pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
oludyke:unpreditable manner indeed. oga, that scripture you quoted should not be a toool for abuse. did you see the one saying a husband should love his wife as himself? when was the last time you were unpredictable to yourself? i hate the kind of understanding that turns scriptures upside down. Fhemmmy:the broda femi love unpreditable people too. so u believe when u get beaten you should be the one appoligising? the devil is a documented liar. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Fhemmmy: 2:30pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
GEW: The guy has given a great advice and i raise my heart for him, the man is talking from experience and not from the pages of the books |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Nobody: 3:18pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
Fhemmmy: Tell them Fhemmy They are not advising her to watch her mouth next time, all they are saying is call the cops. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by omar22(m): 3:27pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
Standing at 5ft 11 inches, barrel-chested carpenter, Ajisafe Akande, appears like a formidable contender in the heavyweight boxing category. But he did not fight an opponent in his category. He engaged in a fatal bout with his wife, Fasila, over the custody of their four-and-a-half-year-old son, Abdullahi. Fasila did not survive the fight. Akande did not heed the warning of Horace, the Roman poet, who lived in 65BC. ”Anger is a momentary madness, so control your passion or it will control you,” Horace warns in his Epistles. A Chinese proverb also cautions, ”If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.” Neither did Akande consider the admonition of Chinua Achebe, who writes in Anthills of the Savannah, ”An angry man is always a stupid man.” Returning from work late on Wednesday evening, Akande had gone to see Abdullahi, his son, who lived with his estranged wife, Fasila, in Balogun area of Orita-Gbaemu, Osogbo. Having lost two of his four children, Akande had become critical of the welfare of the rest. Particularly, he had problem with the way his wife was looking after Abdullahi, and threatened to take him away from her. But Fasila had resisted previous attempts by Akande to take custody of the little boy. Speaking with our correspondent at Oja-Oba Police Station, where he is being held, Akande said he was sad when he got to Fasila‘s residence and found Abdullahi all on his own without his mother. In that instance, Akande resolved to take Abdullahi with him but Fasila arrived shortly. ”I am an indigene of Osogbo,” he began. ”I live at No 3A, Ibokun Road, Osogbo. Help me beg government, I won‘t do so again. It‘s the devil‘s work. I did not mean to kill her. I did not touch her. She was the one that bit me and clawed me with her nails. It was when she bit my finger that I pushed her away. She dragged the boy with me. But I eventually removed the boy from her grip and I went to the police station to report the matter. “I told the police that I had taken my son from his mother. I left my phone number and residential address with the police. When the DPO called me on Thursday morning, I thought he wanted to settle the quarrel for us. I did not know that my wife had died over the night.” When asked if he suspected his wife was having extra marital affair, Akande said, ”I did not like the wayward life she was leading. I mean, she wasn‘t taking good care of the boy; she was not always at home and I felt this was affecting her upbringing of the boy.” An eyewitness, who pleaded anonymity, said the couple engaged in a tug of war over the custody of the child. He said, ”They were dragging the poor boy between themselves. The boy was weeping profusely but the man had the upper hand in the end and he left with the boy. He beat the woman when she prevented him from taking the boy away. She fainted after her husband had left. She was confirmed dead at the hospital.” The relatives of Fasila were still in shock when our correspondent visited her home on Thursday as they declined to comment on the issue. A neighbour, who pleaded for anonymity, described Fasila as an easy-going young woman, who was hard-working and friendly. ”She loved Abdullahi so much and she didn‘t want him to be taken away by his father. She felt she was entitled to one of her two surviving children. She felt she would never have access to the boy again if his father took him away,” the neighbour said. Police Public Relations Officer, Osun State Command, Mr. Olabode Akinola, said the case would be transferred from Oja-Oba Divisional Police Station to the state Criminal Investigation Department, Osogbo, for thorough investigation. The PPRO said, ”We want to determine the motive behind the alleged act. Was it intentional or not? An autopsy will be performed to know the actual cause of death. Human life is sacred and violation of such will not be treated with levity.” |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by omar22(m): 3:33pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
thepmnews.com/2008/11/21/man-beats-wife-to-death |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by sweetbee(f): 3:39pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
@ toniaslim ; SUPPORTED  |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Fhemmmy: 3:43pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
aysometin:That is how people are oh, and if they are in same situation, they will even do all ridiculous things to beg. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by omar22(m): 3:47pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
They are not advising her to watch her mouth next time, all they are saying is call the cops. no matter what your wife say's she is not a punching bag, some people here need a time machine to beam them to reality |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Nobody: 5:23pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
oludyke: Hahahahaha, naija ladies don enter am!!!  |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by spikedcylinder: 5:48pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
The guy still hasn't shown up? |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Leilah(f): 6:39pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
I'm left here all alone now love and its not easy. Women need to put their foot down sometimes. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by lannre(m): 11:22pm On Aug 28, 2009 |
Leilah: how do U mean ? |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by jideakpan1: 8:46am On Aug 29, 2009 |
We live this practically everyday. While it is wrong for you to have disrespected each other, I would like to suggest that you look for him immediately because as much as we know that time heals, it could be a dangerous thing for you both to be away from each other for more than a few days. As being human, one of you could fall to the many temptations out there. Here are my suggestions without the blames. 1. Looks for your husband immediately. 2. You may be the offended one but there is nothing wrong in apologizing even when you are "right." It is advisable because keeping the peace is necessary. 3. At this time, pls do not call the police. I know a family where the husband made the mistake of hitting the wife( he still regrets it till today) and she did call the police and as we speak, they are no longer together. Divorce is very painful to both parties no matter how much they try to brag when they are with their friends n supporters. 4. When you eventually come together again, Sit and talk about these things and fashion out a way to deal with future occurances- Communication is key. Make your husband realize how much he has hurt you and while at it, let him know also how much you love him. Keep talking about these differences until you both get them off your minds b4 they take you to the place of resentment. There is much stress out here and you both will need each other's support to scale to the next level. As soon as you both sort yourselves out, get in to make good friends and be accountable to each other as husband n wife and as friends. Let his friend talk to him when he is wrong and same for you. Do be careful though to pick good friends. I wish you both a happy marriage. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Kayflexy1(f): 11:39am On Aug 29, 2009 |
How bout dealin wit a semi-psycho boyfriend.mine was beta cos it was just a relatnship.each tym I try 2 end d relatnship,he threatens me real bad.he had a grlfriend whom he told me dat she was his ex.but d grl keeps sendin pornographic txt message.I was wit a church friend 1 day wen he saw me,later dat day he kept on callin & txtn dat I should c him urgently.I got there,he so beat me dat I fainted 2 times.I tot I was goiñ 2 die bt God saved me.He was arrested,made 2 write an undertakin neva 2 call,txt or come close 2 me again.u wont believe dat he started 2 kol & txt again d followin day he was released. Truth is,if he has raised his hand on u b4,he's bound 2 do it again.He has been call while I av decided not 2 pick his calls till date.I dont no why he doesnt want 2 let go of me as he sends @ least 3 msgs a day ending wit 'i love u' its his style.d previous battering marked d 4th episode.this tym,I almost went blind & our parents & d churches had 2 come in2 it apart 4rm d police.u guys can still place a comment, |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by na2day2(m): 2:11pm On Aug 29, 2009 |
spikedcylinder: e don reach prayer and fasting time ooo!  |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by GEW: 11:13pm On Aug 30, 2009 |
Leilah:where is our brother? |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Anabel(f): 6:14am On Aug 31, 2009 |
for hitting you alone even with a baby on your hands, he is very much insane, no doubt about that. the best thing you will do is to inform his friends and family, dont tell your mum or any of your relatives. he will come back to you, but for the main time, take care of your baby, that is your main priority. my mum's case was similar, only that my dad closed the door 19yrs ago, and has not been back since then, we are 5 in number and all my mum got, she took us as her main priority and made sure we are educated.( 1 medical doc, 1 nurse, 1 masscomm(in sch),1engineer(in sch), 1 footballer), and we are ready to teach the man 1 hell of a lesson wen he comes back. just try every means to reach him and make him understand how much you love him and how sorry you are. Always remember to pray, and God will see you through. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by FREETFEM: 2:03pm On Aug 31, 2009 |
u said you love this ur husband and you have not called him up for days since he left home.hmmm.u have ego,if u need this man u better pocket ur ego and him up.dont destroy ur marriage by calling the police.never,except u are ready to end the marriage.besides no right man in his sense will start beating a woman that apologises with all humility when she is wrong.u get that?i repeat,no man will beat a woman that uses a kind word on him. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by GEW: 3:24pm On Aug 31, 2009 |
FREETFEM: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU FOUGHT OUTSIDE YOUR HOME? I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW YOU BEAT KIDS LET ALONE ADULTS. DISAGREE BUT DONT ABUSE AND START A FIGHT. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by davidif: 2:30am On Sep 01, 2009 |
They say it like being young and single is a crime. mrs. feminist, Not really, what's wrong is when you have unmarried singles given married people advice out of there ignorance. A lot of single unmarried women expect there "prince charming" to be absolutely perfect when no man is. If you are expecting perfection, i wish you the best then. Let's just hope that at age 70 you are still not single living with 20 cats. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by na2day2(m): 6:24am On Sep 01, 2009 |
davidif:  [size=60pt]nailed it! [/size] |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by spikedcylinder: 7:59am On Sep 01, 2009 |
davidif: You're trying to make sense but all your grammatical errors got in the way of a sensible discourse. However, from what I can make of your scribbling, you assume I said being young and single equates to giving bad advice? Or being young and single equates to having a quixotic view about life in general? Or being young and single means one is never going to get married? Or being young and single equates to having perfect bodies, men and lives? Carry on living your life womanising, cheating, lying etc and then come back with the excuse that "men are not perfect". You hear? |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by sweetbee(f): 3:34pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
@ poster has ur husband returned pls let us know so we can tackle new issues,lots of clients are waiting for our advice  |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by tamarack: 5:12pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
Everybody thank you so much,he came back on Thursday,played with baby and left,then came finally on friday,so we talked things over on saturday.He said he was sorry ,that he will never lay his finger on me again rather we will separate if i annoy him that much again.He said that i use harsh words on him and do not respect him.so everyone tabled what we do that annoys each other.I also promise him i will do my best ,but if he tries such again ,i must call police on him and divorce follows.He was staying at the hospital's accomodation bc he is a surgeon,so we went there and parked all his belongings ,he took us to beach,and nice restaurants to make up.He also confessed how much he misses us but had to stay there to teach me a lesson.He said he will treat me like a queen if i can show him some respect and stop abusing him with my words.He promise to stop those thing that he do that annoys me.WE also fasted for our marriage and keep praying to God. Once again thanks everybody,i dont know what i would have done without you all.My sister also talked to him. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by Fhemmmy: 5:15pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
tamarack: that is nice, and i am glad it all worked well. next time, dont use harsh words on each other, cos words has a way to last forever |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by spikedcylinder: 5:22pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
Awww. . . . glad to hear he's back home and you're happy. What's with the threats you people are issuing to each other though? "If you annoy me, I will leave you", "If you do this and that, I will do this and that". Flinging the divorce word here and there. I don't think that's healthy for any relationship and you both need to work on resolving issues without giving ultimatums. |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by ThiefOfHearts(f): 5:24pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
people still respond to that nimrod, davidif? Seriously? |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by agabaI23(m): 5:27pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
Well, where are the doubters who said she will not get good advice from NL? I am glad you are sorted girl. But You guys should remove all the divorce threat and work at your marriage. Your husband is a surgeon and I am sure you are educated as well. You guys should put your egos aside and repair your marriage. Words hurt more than physical violence. the scars of abusive words may not be seen but they last forever even after forgiveness has been procured. Be careful with what you say to your partner as you may not be able to withdraw it later. Good luck! |
| Re: I Had A Fight With My Husband by na2day2(m): 5:36pm On Sep 01, 2009 |
tamarack: which kin James Bond family una get self, each person dey say i am sorry but dey threaten the other in the future. abeg when part 2 ready hit us up |
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