My name is Zika(not the virus),a couple of minutes ago;I over heard one of them here saying to the other"he wouldn't stay long here;he will be charged to court next week".At first;I didn't read much meaning into that comment nor was I too sure that I was the subject of such side talk until my friends in here started taking turns to give me a congratulatory brotherly hugs.I was not sure of what to say in return to 'Presidoo' when he said to me "so your people geh konne like this na who get person dey go court o" because literally;I knew what he meant and that was not the true situation-I don't even know my father let alone the people he is connected to.The only 'personal person' I have is the mother to the woman that gave birth to me. You can say that I am a stupid person,yes;I am going to allow that one for now because that is the only word that is nearest to what I am.But deep inside me;I know that I am more that stupid.Where I am right now is meant for criminals and law breakers only. My journey to this place was not through any of those routes.How I got to this place;remains a mystery to me-the more I try to remember,the more confusing it becomes. On Sunday the 29th day of May,2016.With the sun being up so early;I was forced to wake up earlier than I used to.I went to the kitchen to check on my grand mother who is in the habit of waking up as early as 5am on sundays to prepare breakfast;but to my utmost suprise she was not in the kitchen.Confidently;I made for her room thinking that maybe she is not up yet(my granny is in her early 70s,so over sleeping is not odd here).When I got to her room;there was no sign of life anywhere.I decided to check for her at the parlour but on getting there,she was nowhere to be found.Immediately;I headed to my room,to go get my phone.I picked my phone and came back to the parlour,I sat down and was about to dial her phone number when I discovered that she locked the door from the outside.It was at that moment that I remembered what she told me last night "come meet me at the market tomorrow morning with the wheel barrow,I intend to buy two baskets so that it will last for us at least for 4 months.I heard that the price will soon go up again because according to the minister of information;the newly found PESTICIDE can only Kill the pests TECHNICALLY.So my son I know you knew what he meant by that." I made for the market immediately after washing my face.When I got to the market;everywhere looks deserted except for one particular section of the market-the vegetables section of the market.The crowd at that section of the market made me remember the day Eddy Nawgu was butchered by Bakaasi boy at Onitsha;the only difference here is that there is a yelling and screaming competition.Walking at the pace of a millipide;I set about searching for my grand mother. After peering through the crowd like a hunter for about 5 minutes;I was able to sight her.She was very deep inside the mammoth gathering.She was slugging it out with a woman heavily loaded at the tommy over a basket of something reddish in colour.I made straight for where she was;to help her fight off her adversary.I was about to lift the basket up when something blazingly hot landed on my face.I moved my face towards the direction from which the prophecy inducing slap came but was welcomed by another more fierce than the former.With my two eyes now blinded;I did the only thing I knew best how to do -fight.I dived towards the direction of the slap dishing machine with my mouth wide open.Luckily for me,my teeth caught something very soft and tender.At this stage;people starting running,but instead of running away;they ran towards me.My hands were held together at my back by something I saw only in that American film'Django unchained'.I was pushed inside a van by two men putting on black uniforms. It was when I got here that I discovered that what my teeth caught was not the fresh tomatoes I came to carry but my grand mother's adversary's breast.

sipping chill kunnu...op you said what again? breast ogini?