When you don't want date someone anymore, you should always show respect. Even when you dislike someone so much your stomach turns, you still have to show respect.

No excuses:
Just dropping someone and not talking to them with no explanation is not only disrespectful, it shows how much of a coward you are. It can be uncomfortable to break up with someone, but if that is what you want then you can at least have courage to tell them.

With no explanation, the other person will be harmed - it can send people crazy! They might always harrass you, stalk you, talk bad to your mutual friends and family. They will always wonder what they did wrong or what happened to you.

It may seem like a mean thing to do, but a break up provides someone with a down point from which everyone can grow and learn.

How it's done:
Communicate properly. Be precise.

The three key things to say are:
1. The relationship is over!
Do not be vague. Say you are not dating them anymore and that you will date other people. Say you do not love them truly. That you hope they will date other people too.
2. There is no hope for the future!
Do not give a false hope. This is very cruel and keeps the person hanging on to you for no reason. They will think they still have a chance with you and pray on it. Give the person CLOSURE.
3. Thanks!
Even when you are not thankful, you should be. This person spent their time on you (and possibly more was spent than just time). So say thank you always.

If you've only dated that person for a short while, or even only just one date, they still deserve respect. A text message saying "it isn't going to work" is good enough (but not good enough for something longer than 3 dates).

Why:
Because how can you respect yourself if you don't respect others? If you give a good close to the relationship the other person can start to move on properly instead of waiting and wondering all the time.

Difference between a relationship break and a break UP:
Taking a break from relationship committments is different to ending relationships. If you need a break from the committments for some reason be careful and precise. If you want to take a break to taste other people, and leave the other person hanging and waiting around for you, you are disrespectful and a coward. Let the person go before you cheat.

It is important to be respectful when you take a break too.

How to communicate a relationship break:
1. Tell the person you need a break for whatever reason. That you are not breaking UP, you just need some time away from relationship committment (for study, work, family etc.)
2. Tell them you still love them and will come back in a decided amount of time. Make sure you tell them how much time it will take before you contact them again.
3. IMPORTANT!!! Tell them you won't date or sleep with another person during the break.

You need them to be confident in your partnership so they honour your need for a break. Likewise, they won't find someone else because they have no confidence in you or your words.

EVERYONE DESERVES RESPECT.

Dis early morning? Chisos!!

This isn't for my Naija people!
Take it to maybe Kenya

blackboi:
This isn't for my Naija people!
Take it to maybe Kenya

Why?

Well said. Some people will just stop talking to u and would want u to decode they are no more interested in the relationship. Its doesn't give respect to their personalities also. Do they care? Shm.

Antina:
Well said. Some people will just stop talking to u and would want u to decode they are no more interested in the relationship. Its doesn't give respect to their personalities also. Do they care? Shm.

Not caring is really different to not respecting. A lot of people don't understand that

foolinlove:


Why?

Because we are nott desgned to reason so; a lot has met their water-loo just by being honest with their lovers. If you still don't get it: Juju is real, someone might get your life fucked_up if you tread that path... That's if they don't kill you, yes Kill you

Antina:
Well said. Some people will just stop talking to u and would want u to decode they are no more interested in the relationship. Its doesn't give respect to their personalities also. Do they care? Shm.

.



thats my style , it saves lots of energy, who needs the drama you ladies bring ?


if I no call you again me don EX be that

blackboi:


Because we are nott desgned to reason so; a lot has met their water-loo just by being honest with their lovers. If you still don't get it: Juju is real, someone might get your life fucked_up if you tread that path... That's if they don't kill you, yes Kill you

I guess you can just go about treating people like dirt then, because juju.

Smh. Find God.

falconey:


.



thats my style , it saves lots of energy, who needs the drama you ladies bring ?


if I no call you again me don EX be that

So for HOW long? You decide on day one... when should she get the message? How many days/weeks later?

And how will you respond if she finds soneone else two days after you stopped calling, but you actually loved her and wanted her? You'll call her a cheating wh0re.

Time to man-up.

Pesin weh dey tok abt true love nai wan break up, wat is dah world turnin into eh buhari

foolinlove:


I guess you can just go about treating people like dirt then, because juju.

Smh. Find God.

No, not so.

See there's scarcity of love in this part of the world, no one wants to be seen as being 'loveless' or beng jilted. You just have to be defensive wth your life and future when dealing with people and love down here...Nigerans hardly forgive the truthful; they love it when you play smart on them. If you know what I mean

foolinlove:


So for HOW long? You decide on day one... when should she get the message? How many days/weeks later?

And how will you respond if she finds soneone else two days after you stopped calling, but you actually loved her and wanted her? You'll call her a cheating wh0re.

Time to man-up.

woa woa easy Oprah

I can explain , I am a bachelor ,also studying bachelor degree ,you get the connection? sure you do.

if I stop calling doesn't that imply I don't want her anymore or love her anymore ?why will I be worried or concern seeing her with another nigga ?

she should get the message max a week.

falconey:




woa woa easy Oprah

I can explain , I am a bachelor ,also studying bachelor degree ,you get the connection? sure you do.

if I stop calling doesn't that imply I don't want her anymore or love her anymore ?why will I be worried or concern seeing her with another nigga ?

she should get the message max a week.

But I mean in the case you HAVE fallen in love. You don't call her in a week because you are in a coma. She moves on because of guys behavinglike you do. #regrets

foolinlove:


But I mean in the case you HAVE fallen in love. You don't call her in a week because you are in a coma. She moves on because of guys behavinglike you do. #regrets

lol you are hallucinating

falconey:



lol you are hallucinating

I don't think you know whay that word means. Anyway, enjoy ur loveless life

Look a calabar babe in the eye and tell her that you're done with her.












And that will be the last words you will say in your life. You will be in coma for 9days and die on the 10th.

you made good points Op but I still don't totally buy the idea

It's Monday morning nah

quite educative and some very cool points!! that no1 point can drive some1 crazy.

Breadmaker:
Look a calabar babe in the eye and tell her that you're done with her.

And that will be the last words you will say in your life. You will be in coma for 9days and die on the 10th.

Looool. I see you have experience in this matter

enygmababe:


Looool. I see you have experience in this matter

Yet he's still alive to tell the story... hmmmm.

louken:
you made good points Op but I still don't totally buy the idea

Why? Too much effort to show some respect? Too afraid to show respect?

This advice is for guys as well as girls. Both need to respect or else it's drama time.

Ever thought doing this would SAVE you some drama? The drama of being chased ny a person you don't want. Them asking "why you don't talk me waaaaah " etc etc.

@foolinlove, love can be a beautiful thing but just like life, love is only perfect in mills and boon and Harlequin.

You have been hurt but you will survive it. It may feel like it is forever but it is not.

You will be fine. Just keep going and focus on developing yourself. My motto is if it does not work out, it wasn't meant to be. Set targets for yourself and move on. The wounds will heal and someday when he sees you stronger than you are now, he will ask himself why he left.

The best revenge you can give him is to excel beyond his wildest dreams. *hugs

enygmababe:
@foolinlove, love can be a beautiful thing but just like life, love is only perfect in mills and boon and Harlequin.

You have been hurt but you will survive it. It may feel like it is forever but it is not.

You will be fine. Just keep going and focus on developing yourself. My motto is if it does not work out, it wasn't meant to be. Set targets for yourself and move on. The wounds will heal and someday when he sees you stronger than you are now, he will ask himself why he left.

The best revenge you can give him is to excel beyond his wildest dreams. *hugs

Thanks. I never expected love to be perfect - just faithful amd honest.

But anyway, I hope this thread encourages people in that so that one day everyone can find their true love. Instead of using people as commodities and moving on leaving a train disaster behind them.

Makes a whole lot of sense... Honestly, I would appreciate it if anyone intending to break up with me does so properly as would I to him...

People should learn to do things the proper way.

foolinlove:


Why? Too much effort to show some respect? Too afraid to show respect?

This advice is for guys as well as girls. Both need to respect or else it's drama time.

Ever thought doing this would SAVE you some drama? The drama of being chased ny a person you don't want. Them asking "why you don't talk me waaaaah " etc etc.

it's not because of lack of respect. actually whoever I decide to date deserves my respect, but sometimes we break up believing that the grass is greener on the other side. you may just end up discovering that you made a mistake and may want to go back to the girl you left.

I don't get! Have you ever broken up with someone using this format?? It doesn't work like this in Nigeria....

louken:

it's not because of lack of respect. actually whoever I decide to date deserves my respect, but sometimes we break up believing that the grass is greener on the other side. you may just end up discovering that you made a mistake and may want to go back to the girl you left.

So you prefer to keep her hanging on to you "just in case"? Let her be with someone who is sure he loves her.

i want a break up with my bea,but the problem is i know emotional she get she can kill us both and i dnt want that,she thinks her life envolve around mine but i want he to see the bigger piture i dnt want her to loose the opportunity of meeting the man of life by tieing her down.
My prob nw is hav cut all contact betwing but allas she stil went ahead to report me to my family and friends.
And i cnt look her in the eyes and say its over them no born me well,

IndecentStar:
i want a break up with my bea,but the problem is i know emotional she get she can kill us both and i dnt want that,she thinks her life envolve around mine but i want he to see the bigger piture i dnt want her to loose the opportunity of meeting the man of life by tieing her down.
My prob nw is hav cut all contact betwing but allas she stil went ahead to report me to my family and friends.
And i cnt look her in the eyes and say its over them no born me well,

So send a text, you don't need look her in the eye. She deserves to know you don't want her and don't truly love her.

She will get over it. She may report you. But with time it will get better for her. Don't keep her hanging on for something that won't happen.

Follow the format:
It's over.
I don't love you.
I will date other people.
Thank you.

IndecentStar:
i want a break up with my bea,but the problem is i know emotional she get she can kill us both and i dnt want that,she thinks her life envolve around mine but i want he to see the bigger piture i dnt want her to loose the opportunity of meeting the man of life by tieing her down.
My prob nw is hav cut all contact betwing but allas she stil went ahead to report me to my family and friends.
And i cnt look her in the eyes and say its over them no born me well,

Ps. I know who u are