No one ever goes into a relationship hoping that they will break up. Still, over the course of our dating lives, we will probably either be dumped or do the dumping at some point.
When we find ourselves in such a position of of breaking up with someone, however, the situation can get awkward very quickly. No breakup happens overnight and it usually builds from repressed feelings or realizations that a relationship can’t. But before you make the decision to move on, there are several questions you should ask yourself that will make the breakup as smooth as possible. Bear in mind that there may be some waterworks and unbearable silences, but with time, you will both survive.

1. What are your reasons for breaking up with this person?
This is a very important question that you should ask yourself, and you friends will most probably ask you. You should think and be sure of the reasons for breaking up in order to validate your decision. You can write it down or store them in your mental faculty. You can also confide in a family member if you feel comfortable in order to get their advice and support which will help you feel more comfortable with whatever decision you take.

2. Can we solve the issues in the relationship?
Every relationships has it rocks. When you and your partner sit together to Identify the problems, whether they be trust issues or lack of passion, you might both come up with a plan to solve the problems. Do you feel like your relationship dying out? Try a 30-day relationship challenge. Are there feelings of jealousy from either end? Discuss what (or who) is making either of you angry or uncomfortable. Was there infidelity in the relationship? Maybe counseling is an option if you both still love each other and want to make it work. Regardless of what the outcomes may be, clear communication from both parties will be the best closure to any breakup.

3. Will you come to regret the decision?
In the process of breaking up with someone, you might develop cold feet and even feel like the bad person for ending things. Second-guessing your decision for breaking up is only natural, but if you nudge yourself to think of the reasons for ending the relationship and you know you both tried your best to keep it going, then you will not regret parting ways.



4. What will life be like post-breakup?
Imagining your day-to-day without the person you’re used to seeing 24/7 is heartbreaking. Just even thinking about it might make you want to reconsider breaking up. We rely a lot on our partners to listen to our rants and musings (that not even our friends would care about) and designate them as our automatic adventure buddies. To lose this aspect in a breakup is devastating. But things will get better. Being single means you’ll see your friends more, attend those extra happy hours (which you would have previously skipped for your partner), and pay more attention to your own happiness and well-being. It may seem scary, but alone time is quite often the best time.

5. How should you go about it?
OK, so you’re 100 percent committed to ending things. The question is how you should break up with the other person. We’ve all heard stories of breakups that ended with just a text or with one person ghosting the other, but when you legitimately care about someone, these options seem harsh and unforgivable. The best and least confusing way to break up with the other person is to tell them in person. The conversation can happen in your home, or anywhere that is semiprivate enough for a serious conversation but also public enough so that the person getting dumped can escape right away. If you hate confrontation and think you might break out in tears during the conversation, consider writing everything in a letter and then reading it out loud. Or make talking points on your phone and make sure you stick to them. The point is to be clear and confident in expressing your emotions and needs.

6. What should I say?
If you haven’t talked about breaking up already, then you can easily be blindsiding the other person when you do bring it up. In this situation, you should ask your partner how he or she thinks the relationship is going and then state your honest feelings about where you see things heading. You may be surprised that the other side might end up agreeing with you. To avoid the “we’re all thinking it, but no one said it” situation, be the one to say it. If you want to break up and not keep in contact, state that. If you want to break up but leave the door open in the future, say that. Of course, you should let the other person down as gently as you can and give them time to absorb the information, but don’t sugarcoat your feelings or the situation.

7. Should you be open to the possiblilty of getting back together in the future?
This one is tricky because leaving the door open to getting back together might not provide either side with the closure you both need. It’s perfectly fine to both go your separate ways and still remain in touch. The key is to know when and how to stay in contact. This doesn’t mean you can check up on your ex every week or have your ex treat you like you’re both in a relationship (when clearly you’re not). It takes two mature adults to break up and get back together and if this seems like the right decision for you, go for it. If you don’t find the arrangement working, though, you’ll have to speak up about it and it may feel like you’re breaking up all over again.

8. What have I learned from this relationship?
A breakup doesn’t constitute a failed relationship. Every person you date is a chance to learn a little more about yourself and what you want in a partner. Try seeking out the positives of every experience, and who knows, you could one day start a blog or write a book about all your misadventures. There are many women and men out there who can relate to breakups and heartaches. You are not alone!

9. Do you love this person?
I’m not asking you whether you feel you love this person; I’m asking you if you know for a fact that you love this person.
Again, our emotions do more harm than good because we don’t simply experience emotions and call it a day. Instead, we interpret those emotions, and often we interpret them incorrectly. We put too much emphasis on them. We define love itself by the way someone makes us feel. But are feelings really all love means to you? Is that the purest, most beautiful essence in the universe that you could imagine?
Love goes far beyond chemical reactions, far beyond the warm fuzziness we feel in the pit of our stomachs. It most greatly relies on what a person means to you and your life.

10. How much has this person influenced you?
Has he or she influenced you in a positive manner, changing your life for the better and making you into the person that you are today? If he or she has played a large part in helping you become who you are, then you do have love for that person. Because without him or her, you wouldn’t be you.


Now, is this enough to keep this person a part of your life? That’s for you to decide. Sometimes the parts that people play in shaping us as individuals come to an end, and it’s time to move on to keep on growing


SOURCE:http://www.naijasauce.com.ng/10-questions-to-ask-yourself-before-breaking-up-with-someone/

Halfricanadian come and answer the questions.

I miss all my exs

Noted

Ok...

EmperorLee:
Halfricanadian come and answer the questions.

I have answered them in my heart to av let go

What if you are breaking up with him because he already broke up with you in his mind, do you still need to answer these TOEFL questions?

halfricanadian:

I have answered them in my heart to av let go

Good

EmperorLee:


Good

Before I break up with you, I would have been in a state of mind dah says I can do without you, in other words all I mean is that I would have broken up with you days before I tell you dah I broke up with u dah way I have prepared my self for post breakup scenarios

Justeenaleo:
What if you are breaking up with him because he already broke up with you in his mind, do you still need to answer these TOEFL questions?

Breaking up because of an emotional discord?

Emotional disconnection is a gradual process unless there wasn't love involved from the onset.

If love was involved then you will still need answers for perfect closure, No?

jaybee3:


Breaking up because of an emotional discord?

Emotional disconnection is a gradual process unless there wasn't love involved from the onset.

If love was involved then you will still need answers for perfect closure, No?

And what if you request for answers and it's not forth coming?
What if he doesn't want to tell you it's over but he expects you to read between the line?
What if you are tired of wanting closure?

Justeenaleo:

And what if you request for answers and it's not forth coming?
What if he doesn't want to tell you it's over but he expects you to read between the line?
What if you are tired of wanting closure?

You concluded that he broke up with you from your mystical reading of his mind, No?

The common sense approach to validate your assertion is to ask questions rather than jumping to conclusion, No?

The mind is different from body language shey you know. Body language can be easily analysed which in turn will allow you have an evidence based decision

You can't be tired of wanting acceptable closure if love was involved from the onset

jaybee3:


You concluded that he broke up with you from your mystical reading of his mind, No?

The common sense approach to validate your assertion is to ask questions rather than jumping to conclusion, No?

The mind is different from body language shey you know. Body language can be easily analysed which in turn will allow you have an evidence based decision

You can't be tired of wanting acceptable closure if love was involved from the onset

I get your point.

Shey no be people in relationships dey break up? U people should stop mocking and rubbing our crimes to our face like handkerchief.

Mtcheeew

Justeenaleo:


I get your point.

Don't give up Jor

keep it coming

Genea:
Before I break up with you, I would have been in a state of mind dah says I can do without you, in other words all I mean is that I would have broken up with you days before I tell you dah I broke up with u dah way I have prepared my self for post breakup scenarios

Do people actually formally announce they've broken up these days?

Phewwwww

jaybee3:


Do people actually formally announce they've broken up these days?

Phewwwww

yes dey do but its not d straight I want to brk up with u, some can just send u a text while others tell u in person... I know others would prefer the drift apart scenarios

jaybee3:


Don't give up Jor

keep it coming

Izz not me that would come and be sounding like psycho oooo

Genea:
yes dey do but its not d straight I want to brk up with u, some can just send u a text while others tell u in person... I know others would prefer the drift apart scenarios

I think it's heart wrenching to formally break up with someone sha

It's probably best to drift apart except the reason for the break up was very bad

Justeenaleo:

Izz not me that would come and be sounding like psycho oooo

jaybee3:


I think it's heart wrenching to formally break up with someone sha

It's probably best to drift apart except the reason for the break up was very bad

sometimes its better to tell them so dah day would know where u stand