Mustay:



This is not the quality of a responsible man. There are conflicting terms here - "trying to make her better" vs might be getting tempted by other babes" vs "up to standard".

Do you really want the best for this relative of yours Better temptation carry an unprincipled man away than upgrading degrading her to a bad standard.

if I may ask, what are the qualities of a responsible man?

Bro, am a very realistic person and I don't think the level of hypocrisy we have been living with in Nigeria has helped us in anyway.

Are you trying to tell me you don't mind if your woman has same hair for more than month? Wears oversized cloths? Keeps older women as friends? How many more do you want me to mention. So you don't mind if people refer to your woman as your elder sister or even your mother?

And on top of those things, she still doesn't see anything wrong even after complaining.

You are a man now, let's be sincere. I don't blame the guy at all, he's only been sincere. Who no like better thing? Not that she should walk naked now.

accountbalance:


Bro, am a very realistic person and I don't think the level of hypocrisy we have been living with in Nigeria has helped us in anyway.

Are you trying to tell me you don't mind if your woman has same hair for more than month? Wears oversized cloths? Keeps older women as friends? How many more do you want me to mention. So you don't mind if people refer to your woman as your elder sister or even your mother?

And on top of those things, she still doesn't see anything wrong even after complaining.

You are a man now, let's be sincere. I don't blame the guy at all, he's only been sincere. Who no like better thing? Not that she should walk naked now.

To each his own really. One man's dog is another man's rabies. I don't see the hypocrisy here. Some people like these qualities you listed depending on the age though. Truth is, if he doesn't like these qualities, let them just be x and y apart else, trying to change a decade of behaviours may just bring out the beast out of the beauty.

"So take me, as I am. Or have nothing at all. . ."

same question on my mind

This Is serious..
At first, I thought she's being influenced by her environment, But I later realized that there's more to it.
Let her Visit a Psychologist

Pouyan:

Have her raped by lesbians, she should be indoctrinated into the lesbianism world, if you're so worried about her mind's overgrowth.. Pull a more powerful hex.

Y would anyone want to have their sister raped? This is not a realistic approach.

Maybe the more powerful hex will be better, what does it entail?

MissHatey:
Am I allowed to laugh please

You are not my dear...

This is somebody's pain.

Yeah I really understand the picture of the whole scenario, The girl is right in her own way and the boy is equally right
The girl in question is brought up in the traditional way that so much believe in decency coupled with her been religious while the more exposed boyfriend wants her to dress smart, and attractive( didn't mean seductive), change her accents, n generally d way she carries her self while walking sitting etc, I think d guy is right, he is just trying to let her put in practice the good grooming lesson taught in home economics/management so that her girl will at least conform with what is trending, though he didn't mean applying make-up/foundation, fixing eyelashes/finger nails and all that if I may guess his mind right? i advise He shud take it easy (sufri sufri), try buying her one or two clothes/foot wear u think will make her luk smart, try talking to her about it in a friendly n loving way, I believe with time she can change to ur test as far as she loves u and doesn't want to lose u, it is really a CHANGE , it can't happen over nite as APC will always say and if CHANGE doesn't work, then Change D CHANGE till u get RESULTS
#wish u gudluck.
It is not always easy to change a person bc it is a GENE/religion/environ. thing, we hv such a corper @ my lodge, Deeper life corper, we tried to change her but she laughed @ us that the change her hostel boys didn't make in her 5years @ FUTA, we think we can make within a couple of months n she will always tell us that the spirit leads her, will of God n stuff like that, funny enough we hv even recommended her to be putting on hijab BC she will look beta than the way she dress, tying head tie lik those DL mamas but that is her life, her choice sha

accountbalance:


You are not my dear...

This is somebody's pain.

it's kind of funny

Dis ur relative na ancient of days wey she go dey behave like my Granny?

MissHatey:
it's kind of funny

Oya what's your advice for my sister.

zeribe4real:
Yeah I really understand the picture of the whole scenario, The girl is right in her own way and the boy is equally right
The girl in question is brought up in the traditional way that so much believe in decency coupled with her been religious while the more exposed boyfriend wants her to dress smart, and attractive( didn't mean seductive), change her accents, n generally d way she carries her self while walking sitting etc, I think d guy is right, he is just trying to let her put in practice the good grooming lesson taught in home economics/management so that her girl will at least conform with what is trending, though he didn't mean applying make-up/foundation, fixing eyelashes/finger nails and all that if I may guess his mind right? i advise He shud take it easy (sufri sufri), try buying her one or two clothes/foot wear u think will make her luk smart, try talking to her about it in a friendly n loving way, I believe with time she can change to ur test as far as she loves u and doesn't want to lose u, it is really a CHANGE , it can't happen over nite as APC will always say and if CHANGE doesn't work, then Change D CHANGE till u get RESULTS
#wish u gudluck.
It is not always easy to change a person bc it is a GENE/religion/environ. thing, we hv such a corper @ my lodge, Deeper life corper, we tried to change her but she laughed @ us that the change her hostel boys didn't make in her 5years @ FUTA, we think we can make within a couple of months n she will always tell us that the spirit leads her, will of God n stuff like that, funny enough we hv even recommended her to be putting on hijab BC she will look beta than the way she dress, tying head tie lik those DL mamas but that is her life, her choice sha

This is one of the best advice I have gotten so far. Thumbs up sir. You are an intelligent person.

Tired of reading different stories about Relationships and Marriage already.... You guys make things look weird

She needs therapy

accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.

She happens to be a relative that confides in me for advises in her general life. She is in ND II at a federal polytechnic. A very respectful full and big hearted girl.

Just yesterday night, she put a call through to me, crying that her boyfriend has not been treating her well. So I decided to talk to the guy directly (we all know the guy at home). The guy told me how much he loved my cousin but he complained that she doesn't behave like a young lady, he said she behaves like a woman, and that he has tried in so many ways to change her but he couldn't.

To be honest, I couldn't argue with this guy because I know very much that he is saying the truth. My cousin does not act like all these trendy girls at all, yes she is beautiful but she dresses like an old woman, talks as if she has been born since 1960. I think because she grew up with our grandma might be the cause but it's getting very weird. She is also very religious unlike the rest of us. She would tie wrapper, even her walking position would suggest a very very old person.

The poor boy mentioned many other weird intimate things that I can't mention here. I just told him not to worry, that we'll do something about it.

This is a little bigger than me because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.

What can we do to help her?

you will be making the greatest mistake of her life if you change her.

what happens when the so called boyfriend dumps her who will be there to accept her?

if the so called boyfriend will not accept her the way she is then he was not meant for her

he is trying to change her to suit his own selfish gains.

Her husband will accept her the way she is

watching

Take it or leave it ; the truth is that the young man is not meant for her and the worst mistake you or anyone will do is to encourage such relationship. The lady should be advised to back out of such relationship because they are not meant to be for life. God will give her her own Man who will take and accept her just the way she is. And that is the only way she can enjoy complete love.

That her character doesn't blend with your expectations isn't her fault. Either you accept her as she is or don't try changing her. There is a dude out there who would love her exactly as she is. Learn to love her or leave and find a girl with an attitude you can live with

Z her name IYABO or YETUNDE

accountbalance:


Thanks for your advise dear. We have spoken to her many times. She is just so comfortable in her primitive ways.

Initially, it looks to me like all this mummy and daddy plays we act when we were kids. You know the way a little girl takes the role of a mother, seems she didn't get over it, it has mastered her.

Please let her be. Someone with more understanding will come to appreciate her one day. Love is not changing someone, it's understanding and acceptance. My wife was not the trendest babe when i met her, but she is envied today. If the said bf truly loves her, he will not try to alter her core Xter, but rather build on her uniqueness, gradually of course. I think i have said enough. Jah bless her motherly soul.

might be a case of Salvado in second chance. old woman living in a young girl body. just saying my own sha

frenzydilz:
That her character doesn't blend with your expectations isn't her fault. Either you accept her as she is or don't try changing her. There is a dude out there who would love her exactly as she is. Learn to love her or leave and find a girl with an attitude you can live with

Exactly. I wonder if the bf did not notice these before going for her.. He too need to change.

I can definitely relate to this, as i have once dated a male version of this type of girl, believe me it's hard to manage this kind of people romantically....its boring.
it's either he manages or he let's her go.

Change enviroment. I mean let her get more exposure.
Note: it wouldn't happen all of a sudden. It's a process baby.
Just do the above mentioned

He should start with buying her trendy clothes

accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.

She happens to be a relative that confides in me for advises in her general life. She is in ND II at a federal polytechnic. A very respectful full and big hearted girl.

Just yesterday night, she put a call through to me, crying that her boyfriend has not been treating her well. So I decided to talk to the guy directly (we all know the guy at home). The guy told me how much he loved my cousin but he complained that she doesn't behave like a young lady, he said she behaves like a woman, and that he has tried in so many ways to change her but he couldn't.

To be honest, I couldn't argue with this guy because I know very much that he is saying the truth. My cousin does not act like all these trendy girls at all, yes she is beautiful but she dresses like an old woman, talks as if she has been born since 1960. I think because she grew up with our grandma might be the cause but it's getting very weird. She is also very religious unlike the rest of us. She would tie wrapper, even her walking position would suggest a very very old person.

The poor boy mentioned many other weird intimate things that I can't mention here. I just told him not to worry, that we'll do something about it.

This is a little bigger than me because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.

What can we do to help her?

You just spoke about my gf, am having the same issues, I don't wanna break up with her because personally God spoke about her to me. Ties wrapper. Too spiritual, speaks this conk local dialect that she has to explain it to me. In general she z acts like someone who z older than her age. She equally stood with her grandma

The simple solution z has the guy confirmed if she z actually God-sent.

One rule about relationships z compromise. One of them needs to compromise for the other to keep the relationship going. Let him love her the way she z, or let him teach her to change in love and meekness

When you love someone no matter the bad side the love will keep growing

She neva chop beta bancu. Wen she does, she ko dey porch.

let me check my accountbalance first

Na when you marry a "trendy" girl" na When you go wish you marry the "old young lady"

the guy is very silly for saying such,am very sure he saw all this qualities while he was asking her out,so therefore he should Cater for it....

For me I think her problem is more psychological than physical combine with the fact that she is a staunch Christian. It's not like she doesn't know these acts of her but she feels she is unique n on d right track.

Honestly it will be very difficult to change her except u try to change her perspective of how she sees life or probably learn from her regrets after she must hv lost 1,2 maybe 3 lovers because of dsame act.

Finally she needs someone that can talk to her, convincingly, probably an elderly lady she admires. Letting her know the world that we are in n wat is required as a young lady without changing her perspective for religion.