accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.




[b]This is a little bigger than me [/b]because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.

What can we do to help her?

baddestchic:





best advice is to leave and accept her the way she is....cause if she forces herself to change she might not continue to be that loveable girl that you have been talking about. give her time, she will eventually meet someone that she loves and when she sees other babes competing with her she would try to upgrade....

wendy241:
u ar rite guy

accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.

She happens to be a relative that confides in me for advises in her general life. She is in ND II at a federal polytechnic. A very respectful full and big hearted girl.

Just yesterday night, she put a call through to me, crying that her boyfriend has not been treating her well. So I decided to talk to the guy directly (we all know the guy at home). The guy told me how much he loved my cousin but he complained that she doesn't behave like a young lady, he said she behaves like a woman, and that he has tried in so many ways to change her but he couldn't.

To be honest, I couldn't argue with this guy because I know very much that he is saying the truth. My cousin does not act like all these trendy girls at all, yes she is beautiful but she dresses like an old woman, talks as if she has been born since 1960. I think because she grew up with our grandma might be the cause but it's getting very weird. She is also very religious unlike the rest of us. She would tie wrapper, even her walking position would suggest a very very old person.

The poor boy mentioned many other weird intimate things that I can't mention here. I just told him not to worry, that we'll do something about it.

This is a little bigger than me because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.



She needs someone that will truly love her first,then gradually speak to her.Encourage her to read books and watch movies on various etiquette dressing,speeches,eating,take to function etc.I strongly believe it has to do with environmental (association) factor.She needs a new orientation and integration but it's not going to be magic.I am sure she will change.A behavioural change expert will do d needful.














I



What can we do to help her?

free2ryhme:


you will be making the greatest mistake of her life if you change her.

what happens when the so called boyfriend dumps her who will be there to accept her?

if the so called boyfriend will not accept her the way she is then he was not meant for her

he is trying to change her to suit his own selfish gains.

Her husband will accept her the way she is

accountbalance:


Am glad you can relate to this. It's because of the love that the guy is still giving room for growth. I know if he wanted to dump my cousin, he would have done it. I just hope she can change o. Because the two of them are very precious to me.

Elxandre:

I don't usually comment on this section, but this topic bothers me.

Let me tell you the hard truth.
Women like this often get married late, or get very fewer choices which could lead to ending up with a substandard fellow.
I have sampled many cases before coming to this conclusion.

Even those brothers in her church prefer women with a modernistic dress sense.

Dressing good doesn't mean wearing rubbish like these wayward girls.

If I were the guy, as a realistic person that I'm, I'd leave her to herself.
I have no time trying to change people.

Women like this are baggage of trouble in future.

Marry her, and she looks like a 50 year old in 10 years.

Abeg joor.

accountbalance:


So we should leave her that way. What if the same thing happens with next guy she meets.

Is there anything wrong in making her spice up herself. That's not total change.

accountbalance:


if I may ask, what are the qualities of a responsible man?

Bro, am a very realistic person and I don't think the level of hypocrisy we have been living with in Nigeria has helped us in anyway.

Are you trying to tell me you don't mind if your woman has same hair for more than month? Wears oversized cloths? Keeps older women as friends? How many more do you want me to mention. So you don't mind if people refer to your woman as your elder sister or even your mother?

And on top of those things, she still doesn't see anything wrong even after complaining.

You are a man now, let's be sincere. I don't blame the guy at all, he's only been sincere. Who no like better thing? Not that she should walk naked now.

accountbalance:


Of course he is trying to build on her uniqueness. The guy is not asking for too much now. He is just asking for her to look good.

Based on your story, I would like to ask, what eventually made your wife to be envied?

accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.

She happens to be a relative that confides in me for advises in her general life. She is in ND II at a federal polytechnic. A very respectful full and big hearted girl.

Just yesterday night, she put a call through to me, crying that her boyfriend has not been treating her well. So I decided to talk to the guy directly (we all know the guy at home). The guy told me how much he loved my cousin but he complained that she doesn't behave like a young lady, he said she behaves like a woman, and that he has tried in so many ways to change her but he couldn't.

To be honest, I couldn't argue with this guy because I know very much that he is saying the truth. My cousin does not act like all these trendy girls at all, yes she is beautiful but she dresses like an old woman, talks as if she has been born since 1960. I think because she grew up with our grandma might be the cause but it's getting very weird. She is also very religious unlike the rest of us. She would tie wrapper, even her walking position would suggest a very very old person.

The poor boy mentioned many other weird intimate things that I can't mention here. I just told him not to worry, that we'll do something about it.

This is a little bigger than me because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.

What can we do to help her?

accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.

She happens to be a relative that confides in me for advises in her general life. She is in ND II at a federal polytechnic. A very respectful full and big hearted girl.

Just yesterday night, she put a call through to me, crying that her boyfriend has not been treating her well. So I decided to talk to the guy directly (we all know the guy at home). The guy told me how much he loved my cousin but he complained that she doesn't behave like a young lady, he said she behaves like a woman, and that he has tried in so many ways to change her but he couldn't.

To be honest, I couldn't argue with this guy because I know very much that he is saying the truth. My cousin does not act like all these trendy girls at all, yes she is beautiful but she dresses like an old woman, talks as if she has been born since 1960. I think because she grew up with our grandma might be the cause but it's getting very weird. She is also very religious unlike the rest of us. She would tie wrapper, even her walking position would suggest a very very old person.

The poor boy mentioned many other weird intimate things that I can't mention here. I just told him not to worry, that we'll do something about it.

This is a little bigger than me because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.

What can we do to help her?

Elxandre:

I don't usually comment on this section, but this topic bothers me.

Let me tell you the hard truth.
Women like this often get married late, or get very fewer choices which could lead to ending up with a substandard fellow.
I have sampled many cases before coming to this conclusion.

Even those brothers in her church prefer women with a modernistic dress sense.

Dressing good doesn't mean wearing rubbish like these wayward girls.

If I were the guy, as a realistic person that I'm, I'd leave her to herself.
I have no time trying to change people.

Women like this are baggage of trouble in future.

Marry her, and she looks like a 50 year old in 10 years.

Abeg joor.

Ihavespoken:
Some girls have strong character which they stick to and afraid to embrace a change, is she that kind of person?

Introduce her to watching documentaries where young women interact and the kind of clothes they wear to keep their man salivating 247.

You could download some British shows on youtube "take me out". It will be quite a challenge as these things are new to her.

accountbalance:
Please I need working and realistic advice on how to help this young lady.

She happens to be a relative that confides in me for advises in her general life. She is in ND II at a federal polytechnic. A very respectful full and big hearted girl.

Just yesterday night, she put a call through to me, crying that her boyfriend has not been treating her well. So I decided to talk to the guy directly (we all know the guy at home). The guy told me how much he loved my cousin but he complained that she doesn't behave like a young lady, he said she behaves like a woman, and that he has tried in so many ways to change her but he couldn't.

To be honest, I couldn't argue with this guy because I know very much that he is saying the truth. My cousin does not act like all these trendy girls at all, yes she is beautiful but she dresses like an old woman, talks as if she has been born since 1960. I think because she grew up with our grandma might be the cause but it's getting very weird. She is also very religious unlike the rest of us. She would tie wrapper, even her walking position would suggest a very very old person.

The poor boy mentioned many other weird intimate things that I can't mention here. I just told him not to worry, that we'll do something about it.

This is a little bigger than me because it seems she doesn't see anything wrong with her, she prides in the fact that she is matured for her age but now it's ruining her love life.

What can we do to help her?