Princek12:

You are right that people do change after they get married, which is very unfortunate for the suffering spouse; but there are lots of times when you know that your spouse is a jerk but go ahead and marry him out of desperation. Even in that situation that woman may still blame the man. My whole point is that it happens on both sides and I am not disputing that women in Nigeria are blamed for what is, clearly, a man's problems. Men are also blamed for things that are not their fault.

Like what? Could you name them please?

For the desperation thing, I think the Nigerian society need to take it easy on single ladies.

Rosabelle:

LOL. My mum says a mans respect for you drops 80% after he has seen you naked and 20% after he has married you. So you had better have a reserve to who you are (when he talks, you talk back if you were not doing it before to show him if he has changed, so have you) after marriage, otherwise your man is out the house. lol
Men I almost made that mistake oh walahi let me not lie. The guy was a jerk and I knew it, but I thought he just had tryign times and needed me to stand  by him. Chei, I was foolish oh. But thanks to The Lord,I was also praying and my prayer was heard. So life split us

Lucky you oh my sister. What cleared my eye was when someone i know was caught commiting fraud because her husband wanted a new car and she had collected so much loan from her office in thie1 yr courtship and 3 months marriage. i just saw myself because i was almost withdrawing my trustees money to give this guy oh

I think the female folks are seen as SECOND CLASS CITIZENS.

aisha2:

Lucky you oh my sister. What cleared my eye was when someone i know was caught commiting fraud because her husband wanted a new car and she had collected so much loan from her office in thie1 yr courtship and 3 months marriage. i just saw myself because i was almost withdrawing my trustees money to give this guy oh

I'm very wary of a man that borrows huge sums from his girlfriend. Yeah it's good to help someone you love, but most of the time they play on the love you have for them. One just has to use her head not heart when your life savings are involved.

Not always the case.

aisha2:

Lucky you oh my sister. What cleared my eye was when someone i know was caught commiting fraud because her husband wanted a new car and she had collected so much loan from her office in thie1 yr courtship and 3 months marriage. i just saw myself because i was almost withdrawing my trustees money to give this guy oh

You wont kill me true LOOOOLLLLLLL. Oh my goodness. Ive never heard this type.
Her husband wanted to buy a car? He didnt know how to work with his hands? Some men are useless oh and once they see a woman who loves them, instead of being honest and saying they dont feel the same, they use you. Its sad.

stillwater:

I'm very wary of a man that borrows huge sums from his girlfriend. Yeah it's good to help someone you love, but most of the time they play on the love you have for them. One just has to use her head not heart when your life savings are involved.

Now I will be wary of a guy who asks me for money. But when youre with someone you love, youre like: well if I give my body to him, what is money? And its this attitude that gets us in trouble it seems.

stillwater:

Like what? Could you name them please?

For the desperation thing, I think the Nigerian society need to take it easy on single ladies.

In as much as i concur with u on this , u ll also agree with me that our God has made it so and not just "the Nigerian society" ,bearing in mind that the male and female body are two different types.

Rosabelle:

Now I will be wary of a guy who asks me for money. But when youre with someone you love, youre like: well if I give my body to him, what is money? And its this attitude that gets us in trouble it seems.

Rosabelle:

You wont kill me true LOOOOLLLLLLL. Oh my goodness. Ive never heard this type.
Her husband wanted to buy a car? He didnt know how to work with his hands? Some men are useless oh and once they see a woman who loves them, instead of being honest and saying they dont feel the same, they use you. Its sad.

My dear, they are business men oh, business that never materializes.
I spoke to somenone who lives off his wife and he said he got use to the fact that his wife always provided for him and their daughter so he is reluctant to spend money on her and other family issues. Please chicks, dont help out because u will start what u cant finish oh. Believe me before you know u have loaned so much money you will never get back

Rooneyboy:

In as much as i concur with u on this , u ll also agree with me that our God has made it so and not just "the Nigerian society" ,bearing in mind that the male and female body are two different types.

So God would be in support of the incessant insults single women get if they don't get married early?

PLS I DO S

aisha2:

My dear, they are business men oh, business that never materializes.
I spoke to somenone who lives off his wife and he said he got use to the fact that his wife always provided for him and their daughter so he is reluctant to spend money on her and other family issues. Please chicks, dont help out because u will start what u cant finish oh. Believe me before you know u have loaned so much money you will never get back

you do realize that it also works the other way, don't you?

Rooneyboy:

In as much as i concur with u on this , u ll also agree with me that our God has made it so and not just "the Nigerian society" ,bearing in mind that the male and female body are two different types.

The Lord made what I hope youre not saying God said all women must marry oh, cos you'l break out a war here oh. Maybe Im not understanding you? Kindly expanciate

presidonsi:

PLS I DO ENJOY MOST OF THE POSTINGS ON NAIRALAND BUT PEOPLE RESPONSES TO THIS POSTING IS NOT ENCOURAGING.
PLS LADIES NOTE THE FOLLOWING:
1. YOUR ATTRACTION TO A MAN WHETHER YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND SHOULD ADD REALISTIC VALUE TO THE MAN
2. YOUR FINANCIAL DEMANDS SHOULDNT BARRED THE MAN FROM HIS CAREER ADVANCEMENT
3. NEVER ALLOW your MAN TO STOP WHERE U MEET HIM.
4.PLS NOTE NO MATTER HOW SUCCESSFUL YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR HUSBAND SUCCESS MATTERS MOST.
5. PLS LADIES BE MORE FUTURE AND PROSPECTIVE CONSCIOUS THAN ONE OFF BENEFITS

Sir. I dont understand what youre saying and what we're saying. Cos it seems like you mistakenly posted on the wrong thread. I stand to be corrected if wrong

oyb:

you do realize that it also works the other way, don't you?

And i support and encourage women to earn their own money through legit means. The sad part is that a lot of men esp in Abuja are coorperate gigolos. I dont support men or women livin off someone but its more pathetic in the case of men because they should take the lead in the relationship. Cest toi

Rosabelle:

LOL. My mum says a mans respect for you drops 80% after he has seen you naked and 20% after he has married you. So you had better have a reserve to who you are (when he talks, you talk back if you were not doing it before to show him if he has changed, so have you) after marriage, otherwise your man is out the house. lol
Men I almost made that mistake oh walahi let me not lie. The guy was a jerk and I knew it, but I thought he just had tryign times and needed me to stand  by him. Chei, I was foolish oh. But thanks to The Lord,I was also praying and my prayer was heard. So life split us

A man is blamed when a women who is clearly a psycho in a relationship is not happy; other men are blamed when a woman willingly chooses a loser as a husband instead of that woman admitting self responsibility for making the wrong decision; men are blamed for all this shakara that Naija women do when you approach them, some women go as far as saying that their attitudes were cultivated in response to men who improperly approach them instead of saying that these womens' upbringing makes them grow up to be inherently shakara-ish; men are blamed for a woman's failure to perform her role in a relationship; men are blamed when a sexually promiscuous lady aka ashawo sleeps with a multitude of men; and it goes on and on. This blame game stuff goes both ways. I don't think you have reconciled the norms that existed in primitive Nigerian society to current societal norms.

stillwater:

So God would be in support of the incessant insults single women get if they don't get married early?

u made use of the word "desperation" and the Nigerian society , what i m trying to poin out is that girls (u inclusive) have every reason to be desperate knowing fully well that there's something at stake. So YOU SHOULDN'T BLAME THE NIGERIAN SOCIETY.

In as much as i have to agree but not totally with you ladies and the points raised please try also not to portray yourself as saints or the sole victims in this blame issues. It goes both ways just that the ladies  parts are more glaring.

stillwater:

Like what? Could you name them please?

For the desperation thing, I think the Nigerian society need to take it easy on single ladies.

Gbam!

If the society did not regard being single as a disease and single people without children are treated with the same respect as other people, I bet many ladies would prefer to be single rather than being with men that add no value to their lives.

But discrimination is everywhere even in the Church where the Bible states that it is better to remain single!!!!!
I usually introduce myself stating my name without a 'Mrs', and get treated like trash until my wedding ring is sighted or someone walks by and ask after my son

Please try to call any of these customer service help lines without calling yourself Mrs so so so and see what you'll get.

Who enjoys living in a society as an outcast?-this is the reason irresponsible men still have ladies buzzing around them, the few responsible one may not go round.

One of my goal in life is to teach my daughter how to detect an irresponsible man from one thousand miles and avoid him like a plague, so help me God!

Rooneyboy:

u made use of the word "desperation" and the Nigerian society , what i m trying to poin out is that girls (u inclusive) have every reason to be desperate knowing fully well that there's something at stake. So YOU SHOULDN'T BLAME THE NIGERIAN SOCIETY.

Im not sure I understand you sir? What exactly is at stake? Cos if I understood the lady correctly, this desperation she spoke of was the pressure single ladies recieve.

Males are genetically inclined to blame and females are genetically disposed to be blamed. I can't blame an invertebrate so I'll pick the vulnerable female if it comes to that .
Most females are clumsy and deserve blame anyway and the few that aint clumsy usually roll with loosers who'll blame anything.
Its simple: get smart or don't get married!

MUZBO:

Males are genetically inclined to blame and females are genetically disposed to be blamed. I can't blame an invertebrate so I'll pick the vulnerable female if it comes to that .
Most females are clumsy and deserve blame anyway and the few that aint clumsy usually roll with loosers who'll blame anything.

Its simple: get smart or don't get married!

Thats probably the only part I agree with. Well said. 

It clearly shows the disregard for the wife. I don't subscribe to dehumanize and make other people less important than yourself. It just shows the beginning of the end for that family union. This misbehaviour is common but it does not change the fact that it is bad and one party is suffering in silence.
Life is not a bed of roses but should a nuclear family be interfered by a couple of idle and impossible to please in-laws?.

Why shouldnt women be blamed for Men's Woes? They are Animals and Always diverting the minds of Men from Intelligent Money Making Things and Issues to stupid irrelevant things like Shopping. They are too dense and daft and thats why they will always be second class citizens and objects of sex in comparison to Men! Stupid creatures

kanye West:

Why shouldnt women be blamed for Men's Woes? They are Animals and Always diverting the minds of Men from Intelligent Money Making Things and Issues to stupid irrelevant things like Shopping. They are too dense and daft and thats why they will always be second class citizens and objects of sex in comparison to Men! Stupid creatures

Oya, theyve come. In entourage. Nna doe, oh

kanye West:

Why shouldnt women be blamed for Men's Woes? They are  Animals and Always diverting the minds of Men from Intelligent Money Making Things and Issues to stupid irrelevant things like Shopping. They are too dense and daft and thats why they will always be second class citizens and objects of sex in comparison to Men! Stupid creatures

Ol' Boi u really must HATEEEEEEE Women!

but it is a woman that gave birth to u

kanye West:

Why shouldnt women be blamed for Men's Woes? They are Animals and Always diverting the minds of Men from Intelligent Money Making Things and Issues to stupid irrelevant things like Shopping. They are too dense and daft and thats why they will always be second class citizens and objects of sex in comparison to Men! Stupid creatures

who is this one ?

aisha2:

My sister. I feel you uh. Me self my money is lost. I thought i was duped till i discovered that his ex girlfriends case was worse because it cost her her car. Abeg, let people laugh at me say i never marry, its better than being a balme box for some lazy insecure man. I no fit. Life is too short

exactly!!

presidonsi:

PLS I DO ENJOY MOST OF THE POSTINGS ON NAIRALAND BUT PEOPLE RESPONSES TO THIS POSTING IS NOT ENCOURAGING.

PLS LADIES NOTE THE FOLLOWING:

1. YOUR ATTRACTION TO A MAN WHETHER YOUR HUSBAND OR BOYFRIEND SHOULD ADD REALISTIC VALUE TO THE MAN
2. YOUR FINANCIAL DEMANDS SHOULDNT BARRED THE MAN FROM HIS CAREER ADVANCEMENT
3. NEVER ALLOW your MAN TO STOP WHERE U MEET HIM.
4.PLS NOTE NO MATTER HOW SUCCESSFUL YOUR PARENTS ARE YOUR HUSBAND SUCCESS MATTERS MOST.
5. PLS LADIES BE MORE FUTURE AND PROSPECTIVE CONSCIOUS THAN ONE OFF BENEFITS

why are u going off topic?

I knew its only a matter of time these brainless chicks will come out to start attacking me because i rightfully stated that women are stupid animals and should be blamed for all the woes of men.

You have just exhibited all the traits of stupidity by pointing out my criticism of women to advance your cause. Thats why you will continue to remain as you are and continue to be the object of sex to men and men shall continue to throw crumbs at feet in exchaange for opening ur smelly legs! Pheww!

kanye West:

I knew its only a matter of time these brainless chicks will come out to start attacking me because i rightfully stated that women are stupid animals and should be blamed for all the woes of men.
You have just exhibited all the traits of stupidity by pointing out my criticism of women to advance your cause. Thats why you will continue to remain as you are and continue to be the object of sex to men and men shall continue to throw crumbs at feet in exchaange for opening your smelly legs! Pheww!

Here we go. Another one on the loose!

Cos dem chop am 2gether so they must die together. When the husband dey succeed the woman talk say na she make am succeed so when the husband fail na the woman go take the sole blame

Rosabelle:

Im not sure I understand you sir? What exactly is at stake? Cos if I understood the lady correctly, this desperation she spoke of was the pressure single ladies recieve.

what i was trying to correct is that the "desperation " is more of an inbuilt thing in ladies and not the pressure from the society as u said . (in a nut shell ),u ladies know when u are getting old and as such dont need the society to tell u , then DESPERATION from u girls comes into play.

its just unfortunate because the pattern keeps repeating on and on.i just believe marriage is 4 2 nt 4 the family.dnt bring them in.allow love to run thru u.